Argument Clinic

Argument Clinic

Cleese and Palin performing the sketch live in 2014
Writers	John Cleese Graham Chapman
Actors	Michael Palin John Cleese Graham Chapman Eric Idle Terry Jones Rita Davies Carol Cleveland Dawn French Chris Langham
First appearance	"The Money Programme" (2 November 1972)[1]
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"Argument Clinic" is a sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus, written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman. The sketch was originally broadcast as part of the television series and has subsequently been performed live by the group. It relies heavily on wordplay and dialogue, and has been used as an example of how language works.

Plot

After the episode's end credits have scrolled, a BBC voiceover announces that there will be "Five more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus."^[2] In the ensuing sketch, an unnamed man portrayed by Michael Palin approaches a receptionist (Rita Davies) and says that he would like to have an argument. She directs him to a Mr. Barnard who occupies an office along the corridor. Palin enters an office in which a man played by Graham Chapman hurls angry insults at him. Palin says that he came into Chapman's room for an argument, causing Chapman to apologize and clarify that his office is dedicated to "abuse". Even after politely sending Palin on his way, Chapman calls him a "stupid git".^[2]

Palin enters the next office, which contains Mr. Barnard played by John Cleese. Palin asks if he is in the right office for an argument, to which Cleese responds that he has already told him he is. Palin disputes this, and the men begin an argumentative back-and-forth exchange. Their exchange is a very shallow one, consisting mostly of petty and contradictory "is/isn't" responses, to the point that Palin feels that he is not getting what he paid for. They then argue over the very definition of an argument until Cleese rings a bell and announces that Palin's paid time has concluded.

Palin is dissatisfied and tries to argue with Cleese over whether he really got as much time as he paid for, but Cleese insists that he is not allowed to argue unless Palin pays for another session. Palin finally relents and pays more money for additional arguing time, but Cleese continues to insist that he has not paid, and another argument breaks out over that issue. Palin believes that he has caught Cleese in a contradiction—arguing without being paid—but Cleese counters that he could be arguing in his spare time. Frustrated, Palin storms out of the room.

The original broadcast version features Palin exploring other rooms in the clinic; he enters a room marked "Complaints" hoping to lodge a complaint, only to find that it is a complaint clinic in which Eric Idle is complaining about his shoes. The next office contains Terry Jones offering "being-hit-on-the-head lessons", which Palin finds a stupid concept. Eventually, a series of policemen enter the room to end the sketch, one remarking on the frequency of sketches that end in policemen halting the skit. As he realizes that he is a part of the skits’ absurdity, another policeman enters the room, and the sketch ends.^[2]

Writing

The sketch parodies modern consumer culture, implying that anything can be purchased, even absurd things such as arguing, abuse, or being hit over the head.^[3] The sketch was typical for Cleese's and Chapman's writing at the time, as it relied on verbal comedy.

One line in the middle of the sketch, "An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition" was taken almost verbatim from the Oxford English Dictionary.^[3]

Performances

The sketch originally appeared in the 29th episode of the original television series, entitled "The Money Programme",^[5] and was released (in audio only) on the LP Monty Python's Previous Record, on Charisma Records in 1972.^[6]

The sketch was subsequently performed live at the

The sketch has been frequently used as an example of how not to argue, because, as Palin's character notes, it contains little more than ad hominem attacks and contradiction,^[11] and does not contribute to critical thinking.^[12] It has also been described as a "classical case in point" of dialogue where two parties are unwilling to co-operate,^[13] and as an example of flawed logic, since Palin is attempting to argue that Cleese is not arguing with him.^[14]

The text of the argument has been presented as a good example of the workings of English grammar, where sentences can be reduced to simple subject/verb pairs.^[15] It has been included as an example of analysing English in school textbooks.^[1] The sketch has become popular with philosophy students, who note that arguing is "all we are good at", and wonder about the intellectual exercise one could get from paying for a professional quality debate.^[16]

The Python programming language, which contains many Monty Python references as feature names, has an internal-only module called "Argument Clinic" to pre-process Python files.^[17][18]

The sketch is referenced in a line of dialogue in the TV show House, season 6, episode 10, 'Wilson'. The character Dr. Wilson says to Dr. House "I didn't come here for an argument", to which House replies "No, right, that's room 12A", echoing the lines from the 'abuse room' in the Argument Clinic sketch.

See also

• Equivocation
• Ipse dixit
• Kettle logic

References

Citations