Christian views on marriage
From the earliest days of the Christian faith, Christians have viewed marriage as a divinely blessed, lifelong, monogamous union between a man and a woman. However, while many Christians might agree with the traditional definition, the terminology and theological views of marriage have varied through time in different countries, and among Christian denominations.
Many
Christian teaching has never held that marriage is necessary for everyone; for many centuries in
In some Western countries, a separate and secular civil wedding ceremony is required for recognition by the state, while in other Western countries, couples must merely obtain a marriage license from a local government authority and can be married by Christian or other clergy if they are authorized by law to conduct weddings. In this case, the state recognizes the religious marriage as a civil marriage as well; and Christian couples married in this way have all the rights of civil marriage, including, for example, divorce, even if their church forbids divorce.
Biblical foundations and history
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Christians believe that marriage is considered in its ideal according to the purpose of God, and that at the heart of God's design for marriage is companionship and intimacy.
The biblical picture of marriage expands into something much broader, with the husband and wife relationship illustrating the relationship between Christ and the church.
It is also considered in its actual occurrence, sometimes involving failure. Therefore, the Bible speaks on the subject of divorce.[1] The New Testament recognizes a place for singleness. Salvation within Christianity is not dependent on the continuation of a biological lineage.[2]
Old Testament
Christians interpret the Genesis creation account as telling the story of when God instituted marriage, which they hold to have taken place after the creation of the first woman, Eve, from Adam, the first man.[3]
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
— Genesis 2:18–24, NIV[4]
Like the adjacent Arabic culture (in the pre-Islamic period),[13] the act of marriage appears mainly to have consisted of the groom fetching the bride, although among the Israelites the procession was a festive occasion, accompanied by music, dancing, and lights.[5][9] To celebrate the marriage, week-long feasts were sometimes held.[5][9]
In Old Testament times, a wife was submissive to her husband, which may interpreted as Israelite society viewing wives as the chattel of husbands.[5][9] The descriptions of the Bible suggest that she would be expected to perform tasks such as spinning, sewing, weaving, manufacture of clothing, fetching of water, baking of bread, and animal husbandry.[14] However, wives were usually looked after with care, and bigamous men were expected to ensure that they give their first wife food, clothing, and sexual activity.[15]
Since a wife was regarded as property, her husband was originally free to divorce her with little restriction, at any time.[9] A divorced couple could get back together unless the wife had married someone else after her divorce.[16]
Jesus on marriage, divorce, and remarriage
The Bible clearly addresses marriage and divorce. Those in troubled marriages are encouraged to seek counseling and restoration because, according to some advocates of traditional marriage ethics, most divorces are neither necessary nor unavoidable.[17]
"Have you not read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate."
— [18]
In the gospels of both Matthew and Mark, Jesus appealed to God's will in creation. He builds upon the narratives in where male and female are created together[19] and for one another.[20] Thus Jesus takes a firm stance on the permanence of marriage in the original will of God. This corresponds closely with the position of the Pharisee school of thought led by Shammai, at the start of the first millennium,[21][22][23] with which Jesus would have been familiar. By contrast, Rabbinic Judaism subsequently took the opposite view, espoused by Hillel, the leader of the other major Pharisee school of thought at the time; in Hillel's view, men were allowed to divorce their wives for any reason.[21]
Some hold that marriage vows are unbreakable, so that even in the distressing circumstances in which a couple separates, they are still married from God's point of view. This is the Roman Catholic church's position, although occasionally the church will declare a marriage to be "null" (in other words, it never really was a marriage).[24] William Barclay (1907-1978) has written:
There is no time in history when the marriage bond stood in greater peril of destruction than in the days when Christianity first came into this world. At that time the world was in danger of witnessing the almost total break-up of marriage and the collapse of the home... Theoretically no nation ever had a higher ideal of marriage than the Jews had. The voice of God had said, "I hate divorce"[25]
— William Barclay[26]
Jesus brought together two passages from Genesis, reinforcing the basic position on marriage found in Jewish scripture. Thus, he implicitly emphasized that it is God-made ("God has joined together"), "male and female,"[19] lifelong ("let no one separate"), and monogamous ("a man...his wife").[27]
Theologian Frank Stagg says that manuscripts disagree as to the presence in the original text of the phrase "except for fornication".[27]: pp.300–301 Stagg writes: "Divorce always represents failure...a deviation from God's will.... There is grace and redemption where there is contrition and repentance.... There is no clear authorization in the New Testament for remarriage after divorce." Stagg interprets the chief concern of Matthew 5 as being "to condemn the criminal act of the man who divorces an innocent wife.... Jesus was rebuking the husband who victimizes an innocent wife and thinks that he makes it right with her by giving her a divorce". He points out that Jesus refused to be trapped by the Pharisees into choosing between the strict and liberal positions on divorce as held at the time in Judaism. When they asked him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?"[33] he answered by reaffirming God's will as stated in Genesis,[34] that in marriage husband and wife are made "one flesh", and what God has united man must not separate.[35][27]: pp.300–301
There is no evidence that Jesus himself ever married, and considerable evidence that he remained single. In contrast to Judaism and many other traditions,
"I tell you the truth," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the
age to come, eternal life."— [37]
In Matthew 22, Jesus is asked about the continuing state of marriage after death and he affirms that at the resurrection "people neither marry nor be given in marriage; they are like the angels in heaven.".
New Testament beyond the Gospels
The
There is no hint in the New Testament that Jesus was ever married, and no clear evidence that Paul was ever married. However, both Jesus and Paul seem to view marriage as a legitimate calling from God for Christians. Paul elevates singleness to that of the preferable position, but does offer a caveat suggesting this is "because of the impending crisis"—which could itself extend to present times (see also Pauline privilege).[38] Paul's primary issue was that marriage adds concerns to one's life that detract from their ability to serve God without distraction.[39][40]
Some scholars have speculated that Paul may have been a widower since prior to his conversion to Christianity he was a Pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin, positions in which the social norm of the day required the men to be married. But it is just as likely that he never married at all.[41]
Yet, Paul acknowledges the mutuality of marital relations, and recognizes that his own singleness is "a particular gift from God" that others may not necessarily have. He writes: "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."[42]
Paul indicates that bishops, deacons, and elders must be "husbands of one wife", and that women must have one husband. This is usually understood to legislate against polygamy rather than to require marriage:
Now the overseer (bishop) is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.[43]
A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well.[44]
The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint (or ordain) elders in every town, as I directed you. An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.[45]
In the Roman Age, female widows who did not remarry were considered more pure than those who did.[46] Such widows were known as one man woman (enos andros gune) in the epistles of Paul.[47] Paul writes:
No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds".[48]
Paul allowed widows to remarry.[49] Paul says that only one-man women older than 60 years[48] can make the list of Christian widows who did special tasks in the community, but that younger widows should remarry to hinder sin.
Marriage and early Church Fathers
Building on what they saw the example of Jesus and Paul advocating, some early Church Fathers placed less value on the family and saw celibacy and freedom from family ties as a preferable state.
While upholding the New Testament teaching that marriage is "honourable in all and the bed undefiled,"[51] Augustine believed that "yet, whenever it comes to the actual process of generation, the very embrace which is lawful and honourable cannot be effected without the ardour of lust...This is the carnal concupiscence, which, while it is no longer accounted sin in the regenerate, yet in no case happens to nature except from sin."[52]
Both Tertullian and Gregory of Nyssa were church fathers who were married. They each stressed that the happiness of marriage was ultimately rooted in misery. They saw marriage as a state of bondage that could only be cured by celibacy. They wrote that at the very least, the virgin woman could expect release from the "governance of a husband and the chains of children."[53]: p.151
Tertullian argued that second marriage, having been freed from the first by death,"will have to be termed no other than a species of fornication," partly based on the reasoning that this involves desiring to marry a woman out of sexual ardor, which a Christian convert is to avoid.[54]
Also advocating celibacy and virginity as preferable alternatives to marriage,
St. John Chrysostom wrote: "...virginity is better than marriage, however good.... Celibacy is...an imitation of the angels. Therefore, virginity is as much more honorable than marriage, as the angel is higher than man. But why do I say angel? Christ, Himself, is the glory of virginity."[57]
Cyprian, Bishop of Carthage, said that the first commandment given to men was to increase and multiply, but now that the earth was full there was no need to continue this process of multiplication.[58]
This view of marriage was reflected in the lack of any formal liturgy formulated for marriage in the early Church. No special ceremonial was devised to celebrate Christian marriage—despite the fact that the Church had produced liturgies to celebrate the Eucharist, Baptism and Confirmation. It was not important for a couple to have their nuptials blessed by a priest. People could marry by mutual agreement in the presence of witnesses.[50]
At first, the old Roman pagan rite was used by Christians, although modified superficially. The first detailed account of a Christian wedding in the West dates from the 9th century. This system, known as Spousals, persisted after the Reformation.[50]
Denominational beliefs and practice
Marriage and Christianity
Catholicism
Today all Christian denominations regard marriage as a sacred institution, a covenant. Roman Catholics consider it to be a sacrament.[59] Marriage was officially recognized as a sacrament at the 1184 Council of Verona.[60][61] Before then, no specific ritual was prescribed for celebrating a marriage: "Marriage vows did not have to be exchanged in a church, nor was a priest's presence required. A couple could exchange consent anywhere, anytime."[61][62]
In the decrees on marriage of the Council of Trent (twenty-fourth session from 1563), the validity of marriage was made dependent upon the wedding taking place before a priest and two witnesses,[61][63] although the lack of a requirement for parental consent ended a debate that had proceeded from the 12th century.[63] In the case of a divorce, the right of the innocent party to marry again was denied so long as the other party was alive, even if the other party had committed adultery.[63]
The Catholic Church allowed marriages to take place inside churches only starting with the 16th century, beforehand religious marriages happened on the porch of the church.[61]
The
The valid marriage of baptized Christians is one of the seven Roman Catholic sacraments. The sacrament of marriage is the only sacrament that a priest does not administer directly; a priest, however, is the chief witness of the husband and wife's administration of the sacrament to each other at the wedding ceremony in a Catholic church.
The Roman Catholic Church views that Christ himself established the sacrament of marriage at the wedding feast of Cana; therefore, since it is a divine institution, neither the Church nor state can alter the basic meaning and structure of marriage. Husband and wife give themselves totally to each other in a union that lasts until death.[65]
Priests are instructed that marriage is part of God's natural law and to support the couple if they do choose to marry. Today it is common for Roman Catholics to enter into a "mixed marriage" between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic. Couples entering into a mixed marriage are usually allowed to marry in a Catholic church provided their decision is of their own accord and they intend to remain together for life, to be faithful to each other, and to have children which are brought up in the Catholic faith.[66]
In Roman Catholic teaching, marriage has two objectives: the good of the spouses themselves,
Protestantism
Purposes
Most
Many
Roles and responsibilities
Roles and responsibilities of husband and wives now vary considerably on a continuum between the long-held male dominant/female submission view and a shift toward equality (without sameness)
There is no debate that Ephesians 5 presents a historically benevolent husband-headship/wife-submission model for marriage. The questions are (a) how these
Ephesians 5 (NIV)
- 1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love....
- 18 be filled with the Spirit....
- 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
- 22 Wives, [submit yourselves] to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
- 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Eastern Orthodoxy
In the
Marriage is an
Unlike Western Christianity, Eastern Christians do not consider the sacramental aspect of the marriage to be conferred by the couple themselves. Rather, the marriage is conferred by the action of the Holy Spirit acting through the priest. Furthermore, no one besides a bishop or priest—not even a deacon—may perform the Sacred Mystery.
The external sign of the marriage is the placing of wedding
The sharing of the Common Cup symbolizes the transformation of their union from a common marriage into a sacred union. The wedding is usually performed after the
Divorce is discouraged. Sometimes out of economia (mercy) a marriage may be dissolved if there is no hope whatever for a marriage to fulfill even a semblance of its intended sacramental character.[86] The standard formula for remarriage is that the Orthodox Church joyfully blesses the first marriage, merely performs the second, barely tolerates the third, and invariably forbids the fourth.[88] "On the basis of the ideal of the first marriage as an image of the glory of God the question is which significance such a second marriage has and whether it can be regarded as Mysterion. Even though there are opinions (particularly in the west) which deny the sacramental character to the second marriage, in the orthodox literature almost consistently either a reduced or even a full sacramentality is attributed to it. The investigation of the second marriage rite shows that both positions affirming the sacramentality to a second marriage can be justified."[89]
All people are called to celibacy—human beings are all born into
Orthodox priests who serve in parishes are usually married. They must marry prior to their ordination. If they marry after they are ordained they are not permitted to continue performing sacraments. If their wife dies, they are forbidden to remarry; if they do, they may no longer serve as a priest. A married man may be ordained as a priest or deacon. However, a priest or deacon is not permitted to enter into matrimony after ordination. Bishops must always be monks and are thus celibate. However, if a married priest is widowed, he may receive monastic tonsure and thus become eligible for the episcopate.
The Eastern Orthodox Church believes that marriage is an eternal union of spouses, but in Heaven there will not be a procreative bond of marriage.
Oriental Orthodoxy
The
Non-Trinitarian denominations
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
In the teachings of
In some countries, celestial marriages can be recognized as civil marriages; in other cases, couples are civilly married outside of the temple and are later sealed in a celestial marriage.[92] (The church will no longer perform a celestial marriage for a couple unless they are first or simultaneously legally married.) The church encourages its members to be in good standing with it so that they may marry or be sealed in the temple. A celestial marriage is not annulled by a civil divorce: a "cancellation of a sealing" may be granted, but only by the First Presidency, the highest authority in the church. Civil divorce and marriage outside the temple carries somewhat of a stigma in the Mormon culture; the church teaches that the "gospel of Jesus Christ—including repentance, forgiveness, integrity, and love—provides the remedy for conflict in marriage."[93] Regarding marriage and divorce, the church instructs its leaders: "No priesthood officer is to counsel a person whom to marry. Nor should he counsel a person to divorce his or her spouse. Those decisions must originate and remain with the individual. When a marriage ends in divorce, or if a husband and wife separate, they should always receive counseling from Church leaders."[94]
In church temples, members of the LDS Church perform vicarious celestial marriages for deceased couples who were legally married.
New Church (or Swedenborgian Church)
Jehovah's Witnesses
The Jehovah's Witnesses view marriage to be a permanent arrangement with the only possible exception being adultery. Divorce is strongly discouraged even when adultery is committed[100] since the wronged spouse is free to forgive the unfaithful one. There are provisions for a domestic separation in the event of "failure to provide for one's household" and domestic violence, or spiritual resistance on the part of a partner. Even in such situations though divorce would be considered grounds for loss of privileges in the congregation. Remarrying after death or a proper divorce is permitted. Marriage is the only situation where any type of sexual interaction is acceptable, and even then certain restrictions apply to acts such as oral and anal sex.[citation needed] Married persons who are known to commit such acts may in fact lose privileges in the congregation as they are supposed to be setting a good example to the congregation.[101]
Interdenominational marriage
In Christianity, an
In Methodism, ¶81 of the 2014 Discipline of the Allegheny Wesleyan Methodist Connection, states with regard to interdenominational marriages: "We do not prohibit our people from marrying persons who are not of our connection, provided such persons have the form and are seeking the power of godliness; but we are determined to discourage their marrying persons who do not come up to this description."[103]
The Catholic Church recognizes as sacramental, (1) the marriages between two baptized Protestants or between two baptized Orthodox Christians, as well as (2) marriages between baptized non-Catholics and Catholics,[104] although in the latter case, consent from the diocesan bishop must be obtained, with this being termed "permission to enter into a mixed marriage".[105] To illustrate (1), for example, "if two Lutherans marry in the Lutheran Church in the presence of a Lutheran minister, the Catholic Church recognizes this as a valid sacrament of marriage."[104] Weddings in which both parties are Catholics are ordinarily held in a Catholic church, while weddings in which one party is a Catholic and the other party is a non-Catholic be held in a Catholic church or a non-Catholic church.[106]
Interreligious marriage
In Christianity, an interfaith marriage is a marriage between a baptized Christian and a non-baptized person, e.g. a wedding between a Christian man and Jewish woman.[102]
In the Presbyterian Church (USA), the local church congregation is tasked with supporting and including an interfaith couple with one being a baptized Presbyterian Christian and the other being a non-Christian, in the life of the Church, "help[ing] parents make and live by commitments about the spiritual nurture of their children", and being inclusive of the children of the interfaith couple.[107] The pastor is to be available to help and counsel the interfaith couple in their life journey.[107]
Although the Catholic Church recognizes as natural marriages weddings between two non-Christians or those between a Catholic and a non-Christian, these are not considered to be sacramental, and in the latter case, the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop for the marriage to occur; this permission is known as "dispensation from disparity of cult".[108]
In
Same-sex marriage
Anglican denominations such as the
The
The
Location of the wedding
With respect to religion, historic Christian belief emphasizes that Christian weddings should occur in a church as Christian marriage should begin where one also starts their faith journey (Christians receive the sacrament of baptism in church in the presence of their congregation).[154] Catholic weddings must "take place in a church building" as holy matrimony is a sacrament; sacraments normatively occur in the presence of Christ in the house of God, and "members of the faith community [should be] present to witness the event and provide support and encouragement for those celebrating the sacrament".[154] Bishops never grant permission "to those requesting to be married in a garden, on the beach, or some other place outside of the church" and a dispensation is only granted "in extraordinary circumstances (for example, if a bride or groom is ill or disabled and unable to come to the church)".[154] Marriage in the church, for Christians, is seen as contributing to the fruit of the newlywed couple regularly attending church each Lord's Day and raising children in the faith.[154]
Theological views
Christians seek to uphold the seriousness of wedding vows. Yet, they respond with compassion to deep hurts by recognizing that divorce, though less than the ideal, is sometimes necessary to relieve one partner of intolerable hardship, unfaithfulness or desertion.[1] While the voice of God had said, "I hate divorce",[155] some authorities believe the divorce rate in the church is nearly comparable to that of the culture at large.[17]
Christians today hold three competing views as to what is the biblically ordained relationship between husband and wife. These views range from Christian egalitarianism that interprets the New Testament as teaching complete equality of authority and responsibility between the man and woman in marriage, all the way to Patriarchy that calls for a "return to complete patriarchy" in which relationships are based on male-dominant power and authority in marriage:[156]
1. Christian Egalitarians believe in an equal partnership of the wife and husband with neither being designated as the leader in the marriage or family. Instead, the wife and husband share a fully equal partnership in both their marriage and in the family. Its proponents teach "the fundamental biblical principle of the equality of all human beings before God".
"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."[157]
According to this principle, there can be no moral or theological justification for permanently granting or denying status, privilege, or prerogative solely on the basis of a person's race, class, or gender.[158]
2. Christian Complementarians prescribe husband-headship—a male-led hierarchy. This view's core beliefs call for a husband's "loving, humble headship" and the wife's "intelligent, willing submission" to his headship. They believe women have "different but complementary roles and responsibilities in marriage".[159]
3. Biblical patriarchy, though not at all popular among mainstream Christians, prescribes a strict male-dominant hierarchy. A very strong view makes the husband the ruler over his wife and his household.[160] Their organization's first tenet is that "God reveals Himself as masculine, not feminine. God is the eternal Father and the eternal Son, the Holy Spirit is also addressed as He, and Jesus Christ is a male". They consider the husband-father to be sovereign over his household—the family leader, provider, and protector. They call for a wife to be obedient to her head (her husband).[156]
Some Christian authorities permit the practice polygamy (specifically polygyny), but this practice, besides being illegal in Western cultures, is now considered to be out of the Christian mainstream in most parts of the globe; the Lutheran World Federation hosted a regional conference in Africa, in which the acceptance of polygamists and their wives into full membership by the Lutheran Church in Liberia was defended as being permissible.[161] While the Lutheran Church in Liberia permits men to retain their wives if they married them prior to being received into the Church, it does not permit polygamists who have become Christians to marry more wives after they have received the sacrament of Holy Baptism.[162]
Family authority and responsibilities
Much of the dispute hinges on how one interprets the
In the early Roman Republic, long before the time of Christ, the law of manus along with the concept of patria potestas (rule of the fathers), gave the husband nearly absolute autocratic power over his wife, children, and slaves, including the power of life and death. In practice, the extreme form of this right was seldom exercised, and it was eventually limited by law.[163]
The Staggs believe the several occurrences of the New Testament household code in the Bible were intended to meet the needs for order within the churches and in the society of the day. They maintain that the New Testament household code is an attempt by Paul and Peter to Christianize the concept of family relationships for Roman citizens who had become followers of Christ. The Staggs write that there is some suggestion in scripture that because Paul had taught that they had newly found freedom "in Christ", wives, children, and slaves were taking improper advantage of the Haustafel both in the home and the church. "The form of the code stressing reciprocal social duties is traced to Judaism's own Oriental background, with its strong moral/ethical demand but also with a low view of woman.... At bottom is probably to be seen the perennial tension between freedom and order.... What mattered to (Paul) was 'a new creation'[167] and 'in Christ' there is 'not any Jew not Greek, not any slave nor free, not any male and female'.[157][1]
Two of these Christianized codes are found in Ephesians 5 (which contains the phrases "husband is the head of the wife" and "wives, submit to your husband") and in Colossians 3, which instructs wives to subordinate themselves to their husbands.
The importance of the meaning of "head" as used by the
Wayne Grudem criticizes commonly rendering kephalē in those same passages only to mean "source", and argues that it denotes "authoritative head" in such texts as Corinthians 11. They interpret that verse to mean that
Another potential way to define the word "head", and hence the relationship between husband and wife as found in the Bible, is through the example given in the surrounding context in which the word is found.[173] In that context the husband and wife are compared to Christ and his church. The context seems to imply an authority structure based on a man sacrificing himself for his wife, as Christ did for the church; a love-based authority structure, where submission is not required but freely given based on the care given to the wife.[174]
Some biblical references on this subject are debated depending on one's school of theology. The historical grammatical method is a hermeneutic technique that strives to uncover the meaning of the text by taking into account not just the grammatical words, but also the syntactical aspects, the cultural and historical background, and the literary genre. Thus references to a patriarchal Biblical culture may or may not be relevant to other societies. What is believed to be a timeless truth to one person or denomination may be considered a cultural norm or minor opinion to another.
Egalitarian view
Christian Egalitarians (from the French word "égal" meaning "equal") believe that Christian marriage is intended to be a marriage without any hierarchy—a full and equal partnership between the wife and husband. They emphasize that nowhere in the New Testament is there a requirement for a wife to obey her husband. While "obey" was introduced into marriage vows for much of the church during the Middle Ages, its only New Testament support is found in Peter 3, with that only being by implication from Sarah's obedience to Abraham.[1]: p.190 Scriptures such as Galatians 3:28 state that in Christ, right relationships are restored and in him, "there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female."[175]
Christian Egalitarians interpret scripture to mean that God intended spouses to practice mutual submission, each in equality with the other. The phrase "mutual submission" comes from a verse in Ephesians 5 which precedes advice for the three domestic relationships of the day, including slavery. It reads, "Submit to one another ('mutual submission') out of reverence for Christ", wives to husbands, children to parents, and slaves to their master. Christian Egalitarians believe that full partnership in marriage is the most biblical view, producing the most intimate, wholesome, and reciprocally fulfilling marriages.[176]
The Christian Egalitarian view
David Dykes, theologian, author, and pastor of a 15,000-member Baptist church, sermonized that "When you are in Christ, you have full equality with all other believers". In a sermon he entitled "The Ground Is Level at the Foot of the Cross", he said that some theologians have called one particular Bible verse the Christian Magna Carta. The Bible verse reads: "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."[179] Acknowledging the differences between men and women, Dykes writes that "in Christ, these differences don't define who we are. The only category that really matters in the world is whether you are in Christ. At the cross, Jesus destroyed all the made-made[clarification needed] barriers of hostility:" ethnicity, social status, and gender.[180]
The Galatians 3 passage comes after the apostle Paul tells us he would not submit to what was "hypocritical" to the Gospel.[181] The apostle Peter had affirmed the truth of the Gospel regarding the Gentiles with his words, but his actions compromised it.[182]
Those of the egalitarian persuasion point to the biblical instruction that all Christian believers, irrespective of gender, are to submit or be subject "to one another in the fear of God"[183] or "out of reverence for Christ".[184] Gilbert Bilezikian writes that in the highly debated Ephesians 5 passage, the verb "to be subject" or "to be submitted" appears in verse 21 which he describes as serving as a "hinge" between two different sections. The first section consists of verses 18–20, verse 21 is the connection between the two, and the second section consists of verses 22–33.[185]: p.153 When discussion begins at verse 22 in Ephesians 5, Paul appears to be reaffirming a chain of command principle within the family. However,
...when interpretation begins with verse 21, the entire passage describes mutual submission within the family. The wife submits to her husband in everything "as unto the Lord." If her husband makes a request unworthy of her Lord, her primary loyalty is "unto the Lord." ...Instruction about submission is four times longer for husbands than for wives. The greatest burden of submission is clearly placed on the husband.[186]
Advocates of Christian egalitarianism believe that this model has firm biblical support:
- The word translated "help" or "helper" in Genesis 2 until quite recently was generally understood to subordinate a wife to her husband. The KJV translates it as God saying, "I will make a help meet for him". The first distortion was extrabiblical: the noun "help" and the adjective "meet" traditionally have been combined into a new noun, "helpmate". Thus, wives were often referred to as her husband's "helpmate". Next, from the word "help" were drawn inferences of authority/subjection distinctions between men and women. "Helper" was taken to mean that husband was boss and wife his domestic. It is now realized that of the 21 times the Hebrew word 'ezer is used in the Old Testament, in eight of those instances the term clearly means "savior"—another word for Jehovah God. For example, Psalm 33 says "the Lord...is our help ('ezer) and shield". Psalm 121 reads "I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help ('ezer) come from? My help ('ezer) comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." That Hebrew word is not used in the Bible with reference to any subordinate person such a servant.[185]: p.28 Thus, forms of 'ezer in the Hebrew Bible can mean either "to save" or "to be strong" or have the idea of power and strength.[187]
- The "two becoming one" concept, first cited in Genesis 2, was quoted by Jesus in his teachings on marriage and recorded almost identically in the gospels of both Matthew and Mark.[188] In those passages Jesus reemphasized the concept by adding a divine postscript to the Genesis passage: "So, they are no longer two, but one" (NIV).
- The Apostle Paul also quoted the Genesis 2:24 passage in Ephesians 5[1] Describing it as a "profound mystery", he analogizes it to "Christ and the church".[189] Then Paul states that every husband must love his wife as he loves himself.[190]
- Jesus actually forbids any hierarchy of relationships in Christian relationships. All three
- The Apostle Paul calls on husbands and wives to be subject to each other out of reverence for Christ—mutual submission.[193]
- As persons, husband and wife are of equal value. There is no priority of one spouse over the other. In truth, they are one.[1] Bible scholar Frank Stagg and Classicist Evelyn Stagg write that husband-wife equality produces the most intimate, wholesome and mutually fulfilling marriages. They conclude that the Apostle Paul's statement, sometimes called the "Magna Carta of Humanity"[194] and recorded in Galatians 3, applies to all Christian relationships, including Christian marriage: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
- The Apostle Peter calls husbands and wives "joint heirs of the grace of life" and cautions a husband who is not considerate to his wife and does not treat her with respect that his prayers will be hindered.[195]
- Each of the six times Aquila and his wife Priscilla are mentioned by name in the New Testament, they are listed together. Their order of appearance alternates, with Aquila mentioned first in the first, third and fifth mentions, and Priscilla (Prisca) first in the other three.[196] Some revisions of the Bible put Priscilla first, instead of Aquila, in Acts 18:26, following the Vulgate and a few Greek texts.[197] Some scholars suggest that Priscilla was the head of the family unit.[198]
- Among spouses, it is possible to submit without love, but it is impossible to love without submitting mutually to each other.[199]
The egalitarian paradigm leaves it up to the couple to decide who is responsible for what task or function in the home. Such decisions should be made rationally and wisely,[200] not based on gender or tradition. Examples of a couple's decision logic might include:
- which spouse is more competent for a particular task or function;
- which has better access to it;
- or if they decide both are similarly competent and have comparable access, they might make the decision based on who prefers that function or task, or conversely, which of them dislikes it less than the other. The egalitarian view holds that decisions about managing family responsibilities are made rationally through cooperation and negotiation, not on the basis of tradition (e.g., "man's work" or "woman's" work), nor any other irrelevant or irrational basis.[201][202]
Complementarian view
Complementarians hold to a hierarchical structure between husband and wife. They believe men and women have different gender-specific roles that allow each to complement the other, hence the designation "Complementarians". The Complementarian view of marriage holds that while the husband and wife are of equal worth before God, husbands and wives are given different functions and responsibilities by God that are based on gender, and that male leadership is biblically ordained so that the husband is always the senior authority figure. They state they "observe with deep concern" "accompanying distortions or neglect of the glad harmony portrayed in Scripture between the intelligent, humble leadership of redeemed husbands and the loving, willing support of that leadership by redeemed wives".[203] They believe "the Bible presents a clear chain of authority—above all authority and power is God; God is the head of Christ. Then in descending order, Christ is the head of man, man is the head of woman, and parents are the head of their children."[204] Complementarians teach that God intended men to lead their wives as "heads" of the family. Wayne Grudem, in an article that interprets the "mutual submission" of Ephesians 5 as being hierarchical, writes that it means "being considerate of one another, and caring for one another’s needs, and being thoughtful of one another, and sacrificing for one another."[205]
Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 11:3: "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God", (KJV) is understood as meaning the wife is to be subject to her husband, if not unconditionally.[206]
According to Complementarian authors John Piper, Wayne Grudem, and others, historically, but to a significantly lesser extent in most of Christianity today, the predominant position in both Catholicism and conservative Protestantism places the male as the "head" in the home and in the church.[207][208][209][210] They hold that women are commanded to be in subjection to male leadership, with a wife being obedient to her head (husband), based upon Old Testament precepts and principles.[211] This view holds that, "God has created men and women equal in their essential dignity and human personhood, but different and complementary in function with male headship in the home and in the Church."[212]
Grudem also acknowledges exceptions to the submission of wives to husbands where moral issues are involved.[213] Rather than unconditional obedience, Complementarian authors such as Piper and Grudem are careful to caution that a wife's submission should never cause her to "follow her husband into sin."[214]
The husband is the chief of the family and the head of the wife. The woman, because she is flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bone, must be subject to her husband and obey him; not, indeed, as a servant, but as a companion, so that her obedience shall be wanting in neither honor nor dignity. Since the husband represents Christ, and since the wife represents the Church, let there always be, both in him who commands and in her who obeys, a heaven-born love guiding both in their respective duties."[215] This position was affirmed in the 1930 encyclical Casti Connubii, which invokes Ephesians 5:22, "Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the Church.[216]
Though each of their churches is autonomous and self-governed, the official position of the Southern Baptist Convention (the largest Protestant denomination in the United States) is:
The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation."[217]
Biblical patriarchy
The patriarchal model of marriage is clearly the oldest one.[according to whom?] It characterized the theological understanding of most Old Testament writers. It mandates the supremacy, at times the ultimate domination, of the husband-father in the family. In the first century Roman Empire, in the time of Jesus, Paul, and Peter, it was the law of the land and gave the husband absolute authority over his wife, children, and slaves—even the power of life or death. It subordinates all women.
Biblical patriarchy is similar to Complementarianism but with differences of degree and emphasis. Biblical patriarchists carry the husband-headship model considerably further and with more militancy. While Complementarians also hold to exclusively male leadership in both the home and the church, Biblical patriarchy extends that exclusion to the civic sphere as well, so that women should not be civil leaders[218] and indeed should not have careers outside the home.[219]
Patriarchy is based on authoritarianism—complete obedience or subjection to male authority as opposed to individual freedom. Patriarchy gives preeminence to the male in essentially all matters of religion and culture. It explicitly deprives all women of social, political, and economic rights. The marriage relationship simply reinforced this dominance of women by men, providing religious, cultural, and legal structures that clearly favor patriarchy to the exclusion of even basic human dignity for wives.[156][220]
Historically in classical patriarchy, the wives and children were always legally dependent upon the father, as were the slaves and other servants. It was the way of life throughout most of the Old Testament, religiously, legally, and culturally. However, it was not unique to Hebrew thought. With only minor variations, it characterized virtually every pagan culture of that day—including all Pre-Christian doctrine and practice.[156]
While Scripture allowed this approach in Old Testament times, nowhere does the Bible ordain it. In the Hebrew nation, patriarchy seems to have evolved as an expression of male dominance and supremacy, and of a double standard that prevailed throughout much of the Old Testament. Its contemporary advocates insist that it is the only biblically valid model for marriage today. They argue that it was established at Creation, and thus is a firm, unalterable decree of God about the relative positions of men and women.[221]
Biblical patriarchists see what they describe as a crisis of this era being what they term to be a systematic attack on the "timeless truths of biblical patriarchy". They believe such an attack includes the movement to "subvert the biblical model of the family, and redefine the very meaning of fatherhood and motherhood, masculinity, femininity, and the parent and child relationship."[156] Arguing from the biblical presentation of God revealing himself "as masculine, not feminine", they believe God ordained distinct gender roles for man and woman as part of the created order. They say "Adam’s headship over Eve was established at the beginning, before sin entered the world". Their view is that the male has God-given authority and mandate to direct "his" household in paths of obedience to God. They refer to man's "dominion" beginning within the home, and a man's qualification to lead and ability to lead well in the public square is based upon his prior success in ruling his household.[156]
Thus, William Einwechter refers to the traditional Complementarian view as "two-point Complementarianism" (male leadership in the family and church), and regards the biblical patriarchy view as "three-point" or "full" complementarianism (male leadership in family, church and society).[222]
The patriarchists teach that "the woman was created as a helper to her husband, as the bearer of children, and as a "keeper at home", concluding that the God-ordained and proper sphere of dominion for a wife is the household. Biblical patriarchists consider that "faithfulness to Christ requires that (Biblical patriarchy) be believed, taught, and lived". They claim that the "man is...the image and glory of God in terms of authority, while the woman is the glory of man". They teach that a wife is to be obedient to her "head" (husband), based upon Old Testament teachings and models.
Other views
See also
- Biblical patriarchy
- Buddhist view of marriage
- Christian egalitarianism
- Christian views of women
- Christian views on divorce
- Complementarianism
- Christian views on birth control
- Gender roles in Christianity
- Interfaith marriage
- Marriage in Islam
- Marriage in the Catholic Church
- Monogamy in Christianity
- New Testament household codes
- Paul the Apostle and women
- Polygamy in Christianity
- Quaker wedding
- Quiverfull
- Wedding
References
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The Roman Catholic church and some Protestant denominations have approved only "natural family planning" methods--including the rhythm method and periodic abstinence.
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The marriage contract is so sacred that we advise against seeking divorce on any grounds whatseover. Should any member seek divorce on any unscriptural grounds (Matt. 5:32 "But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced comitteth adultery."), and that well proven, he shall be summoned to appear at a meeting in the local church, with the general board working in co-operation with the local church board. If proven guilty of such offense, he shall be dismissed at once, and no longer considered a member of Evangelical Methodist Church. We advise against the remarriage of all divorced persons, as the scriptures declare in Romans 7:3a "...So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress." If any person becoming converted, and having such marital complications as mentioned above in the days of their sin and ignorance, it is our belief that God will and does forgive them; however, we shall not receive such persons into church membership, but with to extend to them the right hand of fellowship, promising the prayers of God's people. Should any pastor, knowingly or unknowingly, receive such persons that have been divorced and remarried into membership, such membership shall not be valid. Ministers are advised to have nothing to do with the re-marriage of persons divorced on any grounds. In the event any person is divorced by an unbelieving companion and shall remain in an unmarried state, retaining his or her Christian integrity, he or she shall not be dismissed or barred from church membership.
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- Handbook 1: Stake Presidents and Bishops(Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church, 2010) § 3.5.
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- Handbook 1: Stake Presidents and Bishops(Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church, 2010) § 7.2.5.
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The Catholic Church considers marriages of baptized Protestants to be valid marriages. So if two Lutherans marry in the Lutheran Church in the presence of a Lutheran minister, the Catholic Church recognizes this as a valid sacrament of marriage.
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We might remind ourselves here that a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person that takes place in the Catholic Church, or in another Church with permission from the diocesan bishop, is a sacramental union. Such a marriage is a life-long union and no power on earth can dissolve it.
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If the wedding is celebrated in the Catholic Church, the priest presides, and a non-Catholic minister can offer prayers and ask a blessing on the couple. If the wedding takes place in a non-Catholic church, the minister presides, and a priest/deacon may be present to offer a prayer and blessing.
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Supernatural marriages exist only between baptized people, so marriages between two Jews or two Muslims are only natural marriages. Assuming no impediments, marriages between Jews or Muslims would be valid natural marriages. Marriages between two Protestants or two Eastern Orthodox also would be valid, presuming no impediments, but these would be supernatural (sacramental) marriages and thus indissoluble.
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- ^ Philo. "Hypothetica/Apology for the Jews". The Works of Philo.
(7.14) Do not these objects appear to you to be of greater importance than any other pursuit can possibly be? Therefore they do not go to interpreters of laws to learn what they ought to do; and even without asking, they are in no ignorance respecting the laws, so as to be likely, through following their own inclinations, to do wrong; but if you violate or alter any one of the laws, or if you ask any one of them about their national laws or customs, they can all tell you at once, without any difficulty; and the husband appears to be a master, endowed with sufficient authority to explain these laws to his wife, a father to teach them to his children...
- ^ Crouch. James E. The Origin and Intention of the Colossian Haustafel. Gottingen: Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 1972.
- ^ Gal. 6:15
- ^ Kroeger, Catherine Clark. "Toward an Understanding of Ancient Conceptions of 'Head'". Priscilla Papers, Volume 20:3, Summer 2006.
- ^ Johnson, Alan F. "A Meta-Study of the Debate over the Meaning of 'Head' (Kephale) in Paul's Writings. Priscilla Papers, Volume 20:4, Autumn 2006
- ^ in 1 Corinthians 11:3 and other similar passages
- ^ Margaret Howe, Women and Church Leadership (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1982), p. 60.
- ^ Wayne Grudem, "Does Kefale ("Head") Mean "Source" Or "Authority Over" in Greek Literature? A Survey of 2,336 Examples" Trinity Journal ns 6.1 (Spring 1985): 38-59
- ^ Eph. 5:20–33
- ISBN 978-1-59298-232-5
- ^ Christians for Biblical Equality. "Men, Women and Biblical Equality". Ltd. CBE on the Web at "Biblical Equality", 1989. [www.cbeinternational.org/?q=content/men-women-and-biblical-equality.] Accessed 5 Mar 2013
- ISBN 978-0-8308-2890-6
- ^ Christian Egalitarian view as differentiated from humanistic egalitarianism
- ^ Groothuis, Rebecca Merrill. "The Bible and Gender Equality." [www.cbeinternational.org Christians for Biblical Equality Web site]
- ^ Galatians 3:28
- ^ Dykes, David O. "The Ground Is Level at the Foot of the Cross". (Senior Pastor of Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas)
- ^ Gal. 2:1–14
- ^ Quient, Allison. "Arise" CBE newsletter, 28 Feb 2013 Archived 2013-05-15 at the Wayback Machine
- ^ Eph. 5:21 KJV
- ^ Eph. 5:21
- ^ ISBN 0-8010-0885-9
- ^ Prescott, Bruce. "The Christian Family: Mutual Submission or Chain of Command?" Mainstream Messenger, Vol. 1, No. 3. November 1998. Online: http://www.mainstreambaptists.org/mob2/family.htm
- ^ Freedman, R. David. Biblical Archaeology Review. Jan/Feb 1983, pp. 56-58
- ^ Matt. 19:4–6 Mk. 10:7–9
- ^ Eph. 5:32
- ^ Eph. 5:33
- ISBN 0-567-04073-9
- ^ Matt. 20:25–26a Mark 10:42–45 Luke 22:25–27
- ^ Eph. 5:21
- ISBN 978-0-8028-1597-2
- ^ 1 Peter 3:7
- ^ Acts 18:2, 18:18, 18:26, Romans 16:3, 1 Corinthians 16:19, 2 Timothy 4:19 King James Version
- ^ "Acts 18:26 multi-version".
- ISBN 978-0-06-060037-2.
- ^ Col. 3:8–9
- ^ Eph 5:15
- ^ "The Family". UMC Book of Discipline. United Methodist Church. 2004. Retrieved 28 February 2012.
- ^ "Equal Marriage Rights for All" (PDF). United Church of Christ. 2005. Retrieved 28 February 2011.
- ^ Core Beliefs – the "Danvers Statement" Archived 2014-06-26 at the Wayback Machine. CBMW. Retrieved on 17 July 2014.
- ^ "Authority in the Family". Online: [www.covenanttruth.com.au/html/study/f/f4.htm] Accessed 1 March 2013
- ^ Grudem, Wayne. "Submission as an Interpretation of Ephesians 5:21.""Archived copy" (PDF). Archived from the original (PDF) on 2014-11-12. Retrieved 2013-02-15.
{{cite web}}
: CS1 maint: archived copy as title (link) Accessed 14 Feb 2013. - ^ Meyer, Jason C.. Another Middle Way that Doesn’t Exist, (A Review of Jim and Sarah Sumner, Just How Married Do You Want to Be?) Accessed 13 March 2013 (subscription)
- ^ John Piper, Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism, p. 165; Crossway, 2006
- ^ Mr. David Blankenhorn, (ed.), Mr. Don S. Browning (ed.), Mrs. Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen (ed.), Does Christianity Teach Male Headship?: The Equal-Regard Marriage and Its Critics, pp. 29-36
- ^ 1Cor. 11:3 Albert Barnes Notes on the Bible; Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible; John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible; Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible accessed 17 July 2014
- ^ Ron Rhodes, The Complete Guide To Christian Denominations, 2005
- ^ Bruce A. Ware (26 June 2007). "Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian Positions". Archived from the original on 16 December 2013. Retrieved 17 July 2014.
- ^ Duncan, Ligon (2004-12-15). "Male Authority and Female Equality: In the beginning—Genesis 1-3 being understood as part of God's created design". Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Retrieved 2012-02-27.
- ^ Wives Like Sarah, and the Husbands Who Honor Them 1 Peter 3:1-7.
- ^ Piper, John and Grudem, Wayne (eds.) Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1991, p. 57
- ^ Pope Leo XIII Encyclical 1880 Arcanum "Arcanum Divinae (February 10, 1880) | LEO XIII". Archived from the original on 2009-06-22. Retrieved 2009-05-30. 1880 Arcanum
- ^ "Pope Pius XI, Casti Connubii".
- ^ Southern Baptist Convention, Basic Beliefs Archived 2013-03-12 at the Wayback Machine 2013
- ^ Should Christians Support a Woman for the Office of Civil Magistrate?.
- ^ Called to the Home — Called to Rule.
- ^ "Are "The Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy" Biblical? Part 1". "Are "The Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy" Biblical? Part 1 | Rethinking Vision Forum". Archived from the original on 2015-04-02. Retrieved 2015-03-17. 16 Mar 2015
- ^ "Patria potestas | Roman law".
- ^ "Men and Women and the Creation Order, Part 1 - Vision Forum Ministries".
Further reading
- Andreas J. Köstenberger, David W. Jones (2010). God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation. Crossway Books. OCLC 818852073.