List of The Colbert Report episodes (2007)

Madonna, and Amitabh Bachchan vs. Shahrukh Khan; and ends the show in tribute to James Brown

Ken Roth. After that he does a "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the finger", double-wagging Apple (claiming this is his first double-wag) for 1) changing their name to "Apple, Inc." and 2) bringing out the iPhone. He urges Apple to stop bundling new apps into gizmos, before they start coming after John Connor. He then talks to Judy Woodruff about the "Generation Next", blaming Jon Stewart

beef jerky

Golden Globe. In another "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report", Colbert covers David Beckham playing for Los Angeles, and an anti-Colbert movement of fans throwing teddy bears on the ice when the Saginaw Spirit played the Oshawa Generals in the Ontario Hockey League

NFL play-offs with Lynn Swann, trying to trash talk all teams except the New Orleans Saints who he favors. After the break "Better know a district" continues with Washington's 3rd congressional district representative, Brian Baird

Mission Accomplished" banner and open the last door on his "Bill O'Reilly advent calendar" (in which he finds Geraldo

Knox College after Colbert already had, and artist Terence Koh for selling sperm (in his art) after Stephen's Formula 401 line. The Word is based on the refusal of Alberto Gonzales

Russ Lieber

Bush's library

Bill O'Reilly after stealing his earlier.^[1]

Lutherans and E Street Band are taken off. This is followed by the 39th installment of Better Know a District, with New York's 6th congressional district representative, Gregory Meeks

2007 Boston Mooninite Scare that occurred in Boston and laments the fact that he can no longer proceed with his obviously threatening-looking advertisements. This is followed by the "Movies Destroying America" segment, commenting on Steve Carell's nomination and Ellen DeGeneres

Better Know A District (Ohio's 18th with congressman Zack Space

Salem Witch Trials

Bollywood iconic actor Amitabh Bachchan

Westminster Dog Show, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, and mentions that the Saginaw Spirit

Better Know A District guest was Vic Snyder from Arkansas's 2nd congressional district

Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle is named a top mascot, behind only the Toronto Raptor. As a result, the Toronto Raptors are moved from "on notice" to "dead to me." Tip/Wag: Wag to Bilk

Better Know A District guest was Steve Cohen from Tennessee's 9th congressional district

Ben and Jerry appeared to promote their new ice cream flavor named in honor of Stephen. Bears & Balls segment about recent economic fluctuations. And Mara Vanderslice talked about how Democrats

Lewis "Scooter" Libby was found Not Guilty on 1 of the 5 counts. In The Word segment, Colbert commends doctors who refuse to treat patients for religious reasons.^[2] ThreatDown segment: No. 1 was Gravity

Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Then there was 2007's first installment of "Easter Under Attack": proposed Easter Bunny name change to spring bunny. And Michael Specter talks about Vladimir Putin

Better Know A District guest was John Yarmuth from Kentucky's 3rd congressional district

March Madness

Better Know A District, the guest was Phil Hare of Illinois's 17th congressional district

U.S. Food and Drug Administration. And the "Alpha Dog Of the Week" was awarded to Robert Hancock of Carterville, Illinois

Oshawa, Ontario, wherein this day would become "Stephen Colbert Day" in the town; the day was chosen to be the same day as the mayor's birthday. During the interview with Willie Nelson, Colbert summons US diplomat Richard Holbrooke to mediate, given Stephen's ire over Willie's competing Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor. Later all three performed Willie's hit song "On the Road Again" with Bobby

Better Know A District, the guest was Maurice Hinchey from New York's 22nd congressional district

Viacom, (Comedy Central's parent company) over the right to use parody despite a copyright

all-gay cable channel

N-word with author Jabari Asim

CPR on its owner. After the break, Colbert decided to create and submit cover photos to Harlequin Enterprises

liberation of Baghdad, while he eats his "Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream" ice cream. He continues to eat it through the show. And announces that is now the number one flavor of Ben & Jerry's. He also runs an empty microwave in response to a family's attempt to live a "no environmental impact" lifestyle. Also in a fake radio show, Colbert insults Hungarians, reminiscent of the Don Imus

Hungarians as "those paprika-snorting ghoulies." Later, Colbert offered advice on the housing market in a "Bears & Balls" segment, with his big red sound effect button. During the interview with Jeannette Walls, she talks about her book about growing up homeless. Finally, Colbert was surprised to hear Hungarian Ambassador, András Simonyi on the set riffing on a bald eagle

Sunni and Shia

Mormon Pope" or "Mope," when he is more of a Mormon Cardinal, or "Mardinal." Colbert then compares Don Imus' firing with upcoming testimony of Alberto Gonzales before Congress regarding the U.S. Attorney firings scandal. In the second act, Colbert comments on Paulina Porizkova referring to Colbert as "so hot" in an interview and places a call to her home, but ends up leaving a voicemail claiming to be Dr. Stephen Hawking. And names Paul Wolfowitz his Alpha Dog of the Week, or in this case, Alpha Wolf of the Week for his role in the World Bank

Iraqi insurgents. On the section Tip of the hat, wag of the finger, Colbert responded to several stories (failure of abstinence-only sex education, cell phones interfering with the navigation of bees, "fake sperm" which "allow lesbians to have their own biological daughters," and a Japanese company recalling bidets

War on Terror is more than a name." Video showed promoting bovine growth hormones

chimpanzees are more evolved than humans in DNA. On "The Wørd," he talks about John Edwards' $400 haircut and considers him going over to the Republican party. Colbert then interviews Sean Penn, and leads to a Meta-Free-Phor-All hosted by Pinsky (the decider of topics for the rounds used humorous pictures and sound effects in the style of The Daily Show's "God Machine," which Colbert usually took part in). Penn uses the "soiled and blood-soaked underwear" metaphor three times. The last round features an image of George W. Bush

Uncle Ben's for "breaking through the Jemima ceiling". In the interview, Colbert speculates that Dr. Weil is Dr. Phil

Delegate Madeleine Bordallo

Tom Davis, from Virginia's 11th congressional district

Enviroporn

grey wolves

Frog Went A-Courting". He also reports on Lou Dobbs' comment, that Mexican immigrants have leprosy. Mini-ThreatDown: Anthony Pellicano, former P.I. to the stars, which causes Colbert to play voice messages from 1999, about taking Jon Stewart

Fox News for discussing Vladimir Putin's threat to aim missiles at Europe because of President Bush's plan to build missile defense shields there. Colbert tips his hat to Prospero's Books for burning books in protest for how Americans no longer have respect for the printed word.^[6] He also tips his hat to Genosis, Inc. for inventing an at-home male fertility test and uses the opportunity to plug his "Stephen Colbert's Formula 401" fertility product. Colbert wags his finger at guitar players, specifically those who gathered to play "Smoke on the Water" in Kansas City. He claims that his flight was delayed, and he missed out on the celebration. Colbert goes to commercial playing the song on his own guitar. Next Colbert interviews Carl Bernstein about his book on Hillary Clinton

Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, and spoke about a report called "Psychophysiology of Male Homosexuality" by James W. Holsinger, who has been nominated by President George W. Bush to become Surgeon General

ZWD$50,000,000. He also spoke about ivory

The Price Is Right. He then talks about People Magazine naming Matthew McConaughey their sexiest bachelor. Colbert briefly speaks about his music column on iTunes. In the "Tip Of The Hat, Wag Of The Finger" segment, Colbert applauds Arnold Schwarzenegger and Republicans. Finally, Colbert interviews Toby Keith

Endangered Species list. Colbert then talks with MaryBeth Garrigan (and her eagle, Harriet) about National Eagle Day, to be held on June 20. He spoke about Isaac Newton's prediction on when the world will end. Colbert names Robert Bork the "Alpha Dog Of The Week." Finally, Colbert interviews Anne-Marie Slaughter

enemy combatants." In the "Cheating Death with Dr. Colbert T. Colbert, DFA" segment, Colbert talks about nutrition, oral hygiene and weight loss

John F. Kennedy assassination. Finally, Colbert gives a short tribute to Don Herbert

Bush Administration closing Guantanamo Bay. He makes a brief comment on the border fence between the United States and Mexico. Colbert names Fred Thompson the "Alpha Dog Of The Week." Finally, Colbert interviews David France about the potential link between genetics

diamonds and sells for $700,000. Finally, Colbert interviews Doug Bailey about Unity08

IHOP and Japan. Colbert interviews Mark Moffett about ants and their behavior. Finally, in solidarity with the Republicans about the all-night Senate

carbon neutral. Next, he names David Beckham the "Alpha Dog Of The Week." Finally, Colbert interviews John Mellencamp

laptops and Apple's new iPhone. The crawls at the bottom of the segment are attempts to spell "$100 LAPTOPS" and "APPLE" respectively in binary, though the first crawl isn't complete. Finally, Colbert interviews Frank Sulloway about the possible link between birth order, I.Q., and radicalism

submarines, polo ponies being stricken with herpes, and Indian billionaire Mukesh Ambani building the world's first billion dollar private home. Finally, Colbert interviews Simon Schama

Anthony Romero about the ACLU. Finally, Colbert pleads to become a member of the Illuminati

Bill O'Reilly spent quite a bit of time covering reader's comments on the Daily Kos website, while Sean Hannity covered the 1993 death of Vince Foster. He then talks about a new tattoo ink that is easy to remove. Next, he briefly talks about Fred Thompson's recent shake-up of his presidential campaign staff. In the "Hometown Hero Town" segment, Colbert honors Bryce Canyon City, Utah

Kumaris being stripped of her goddess status because she visited the United States. This segues into the "Advice To The Gods" segment. Finally, Colbert interviews Bob Shrum about his role as adviser to various Democratic Party

Hollywood films that show "wrist violence" and calls on Hollywood to stop showing such acts. He introduces a new segment, "Arc! Who Goes There?," also known as, "Smokin' Pole – The Fight for Arctic Riches", where he talks about Russia's recent claim that the North Pole and its natural resources belong to them. Colbert calls for America to fight back, fearing that if the Russians control the North Pole, they will control Christmas. He briefly congratulates Rupert Murdoch's takeover of The Wall Street Journal, although he wonders if he has instead taken over Reuters, who were first to report the story. Colbert then interviews Kathleen Kennedy Townsend

seagull that stole Doritos. Colbert then interviews Michael Beschloss

home runs and Barry Bonds' quest to break Hank Aaron's all-time home run record. Colbert then interviews Michael Behe about intelligent design. Finally, Colbert pays tribute to Ingmar Bergman

nuclear testing in American Samoa

Livestrong wristband and introduces his own product, the Wriststrong bracelet. He then discusses the fluctuating stock market and interviews Jim Cramer. In the "Bears & Balls" segment, Colbert talks about the 2008 Summer Olympics, bootlegged Harry Potter books, and Barry Bonds breaking the Major League Baseball all-time home run record. Finally, Colbert interviews Tina Brown about her book on Princess Diana

Superbad

Iowa Straw Poll due to his appearances on The Colbert Report, and what Colbert claims is the "Colbert Bump." In the "Cheating Death with Dr. Colbert T. Colbert, DFA" segment, he talks about genetics, continuing from Tuesday's DNA special repor-t. Finally, Colbert interviews Andrew Keen

Bill O'Reilly and Michael Bloomberg. He then announces he will auction off his cast on eBay for the Yellow Ribbon Fund

Indecision 2008: Don't F%#k This Up America and tells the people how not to "F%#k up" the election. In "The Wørd," he talks about his support of American businesses moving to Mexico for cheap labor, and selling the products back in America. Colbert then interviews his executive assistant Katie Bruggeman, who claims to be the preschool girlfriend of Sgt. Dave Karsnia, who arrested Larry Craig. He then interviews Garrison Keillor about his book Pontoon

9/11 coverage, and they should present re-runs of all their old news programs, so that when President Bush leaves office, people will remember him as a hero. A new Tek Jansen episode is broadcast. Colbert interviews Joel Klein

Ed Begley, Jr. about the environment. Colbert mentions people wanting him to run for President, and says he would do so if there were a sign. Viggo Mortensen

Emmy Awards. Barry Manilow appears as Stephen's conscience to help him get over the loss. Colbert then discusses California possibly eliminating the "winner take all" aspect of the Electoral College. In the "Difference Makers" segment, Ed Werbany, Jr. of Hilltop, New Jersey is profiled for putting a patriotic statue in front of his business. Finally, Colbert interviews Susan Sarandon about her new film, In the Valley of Elah

yachts that are equipped to collect environmental data for study, Clayoquot Wilderness Resort in British Columbia, and Louis Vuitton's "Tribute Patchwork" bag. Finally, Colbert interviews Naomi Wolf about her belief that the United States is heading toward fascism

Slavic Intercourse! 3. El Chupacabra! 2. The Bingham Company! 1. Us! Colbert then interviews Jeffrey Toobin about the U.S. Supreme Court. Finally, in "The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard" segment, Colbert mentions a restaurant in Tokyo, Japan that features mayonnaise

insourcing

Emmy Award loss to Tony Bennett and their mutual love of Target. He then discusses the Canadian dollar being worth more than the United States dollar. Colbert then comments on iTunes not including commercials in the various television shows they sell. Next, Colbert interviews Sam Waterston about Unity08. Finally, he interviews Tony Bennett, who then performs "They All Laughed

terrorist organization. In the "Cheating Death with Dr. Colbert T. Colbert, DFA" segment, Colbert discusses sleep science, weight control and men's health. Finally, Colbert interviews Charlie Savage

Hybrid cars! 3. Sloppy Scientists! 2. White chocolate! 1. Robots! Colbert then interviews John Kao on how America is becoming less innovative. Finally, Colbert shows an advertisement for I Am America (And So Can You!)

commentators

Molson Coors and SABMiller, and tips his hat to French youths. Finally, Colbert interviews Wesley Clark about the Iraq War

green burials. Finally, Colbert interviews Craig Venter about decoding his own genome

War in Iraq

action figures. In "The Hail to the Cheese Stephent Colbert Nacho Cheese Doritos 2008 Presidential Campaign Coverage," he talks about his campaign and shows footage of a campaign stop in South Carolina. He discusses his attempts to woo the South Carolina Democratic Party to get on the ballot, but is informed that he will not be able to appear on the ballot as a Democrat. Finally, Colbert interviews Walter Kirn about multitasking