Ruth Westheimer

Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Ruth Westheimer
Westheimer in 2018
Born
Karola Ruth Siegel

(1928-06-04) June 4, 1928 (age 95)
Wiesenfeld, German Reich
Other namesDr. Ruth
CitizenshipGermany (1928–1941, 2007–present)
United States (1965–present)
Education
Occupations
  • sex therapist
  • talk show host
  • author
  • professor
Years active1959–present
Height4 ft 7 in (140 cm)
Board member ofMuseum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust
Spouse
Manfred Westheimer
​
​
(m. 1961; died 1997)​
Children2, including Joel Westheimer
Awards
Military career
Allegiance Israel
Service/branch Haganah
Years of service1946–1949
Battles/wars1948 Arab–Israeli War
Websitedrruth.com Edit this at Wikidata

Karola Ruth Westheimer (

Holocaust survivor
.

Westheimer was born in Germany to a Jewish family. As the

1947–1949 Palestine war, and almost lost both of her feet. Moving to Paris, France two years later, she studied psychology at the Sorbonne. Immigrating to the United States in 1956, she worked as a maid to put herself through graduate school, earned an M.A. degree in sociology from The New School in 1959, and earned a doctorate at 42 years of age from Teachers College, Columbia University
, in 1970. Over the next decade, she taught at a number of universities, and had a private sex therapy practice.

Westheimer's media career began in 1980 with the radio call-in show Sexually Speaking, which continued until 1990. In 1983 it was the top-rated radio show in the area, in the country's largest radio market. She then launched a television show, The Dr. Ruth Show, which by 1985 attracted 2 million viewers a week. She became known for giving serious advice while being candid, but also warm, cheerful, funny, and respectful, and for her tag phrase: "Get some". In 1984 The New York Times noted that she had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom."[citation needed] She hosted several series on the Lifetime Channel and other cable television networks from 1984 to 1993. She became a household name and major cultural figure, appeared on several network TV shows, co-starred in a movie with Gérard Depardieu, appeared on the cover of People, sang on a Tom Chapin album, appeared in several commercials, and hosted Playboy videos. She is the author of 45 books on sex and sexuality.

The one-woman 2013 play Becoming Dr. Ruth, written by

Margaret Sanger Award, and the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany
.

Early life and education

Germany

I come from Nazi Germany. And the one thing I've learned is that you must stand up for what you believe.[3]

Westheimer was born Karola Ruth Siegel, in the small village of Wiesenfeld (now part of Karlstadt am Main), in Germany.[4][5] She was the only child of Orthodox Jews, Irma (née Hanauer), a housekeeper, and Julius Siegel, a notions wholesaler and son of the family for whom Irma worked.[6] From the age of one, she lived in an apartment in Frankfurt with her parents and her paternal grandmother, Selma, who was a widow.[7][8] She was given an early grounding in Judaism by her father, who took her regularly to the synagogue in the Nordend district of Frankfurt, where they lived.[9]

Her father, 38 years old at the time, was taken away by the

Nazis who sent him to the Dachau concentration camp a week after Kristallnacht, the "Night of Broken Glass" when Nazis burned down 10,000 Jewish stores as well as Jewish homes and synagogues, in November 1938.[7][10][11][12][13] Westheimer cried while her father was taken away by Gestapo men in glossy black leather boots who loaded him on a truck, while her grandmother handed the Nazis money, pleading, "Take good care of my son."[7][9][14][10]

Switzerland

Westheimer's mother and grandmother decided that Nazi Germany was too dangerous for her, due to the growing Nazi violence. Therefore, a few weeks later, in January 1939 they sent her on the Kindertransport organized Jewish children's rescue train to Switzerland, though she desperately did not want to leave.[9][15] Westheimer, age 10, from that moment on was never hugged again as a child.[16]

She arrived at an orphanage of a Jewish charity in Heiden, Switzerland, as one of 300 Jewish children, some as young as six years of age.[7][17] By the end of World War II, nearly all of them were orphans, as their parents never made it out of Germany, and were murdered by the Nazis.[17] In the orphanage she was given cleaning responsibilities, and took on the role of a caregiver and mother-like figure to the younger children.[9] She remained at the orphanage for six years.[8] Westheimer, being a girl, was not allowed to take classes at the local school. However, a fellow orphan boy would sneak her his textbooks at night so she could read them in secret and continue her education.[14][18]

While at the Swiss orphanage, Westheimer corresponded with her mother and grandmother via letters. Their letters ceased in 1941.[5][10] Her father was murdered in the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1942.[19] Her mother was killed during the Holocaust, but there is no information about the specific circumstances of her killing. In the database at the Yad Vashem World Holocaust Remembrance Center, Westheimer's mother is categorized as verschollen, or 'disappeared'/murdered.[19] In addition to Westheimer's parents, all of her other relatives were killed in Nazi concentration camps.[3]

For many years she lived with an "irrational guilt," that if she had stayed in Germany she could have saved her parents. But now she says the guilt has been replaced by an admiration for her parents' sacrifice in sending her to safety, saying: "I would not have the courage to send my own children away like that."[5]

Israel

After World War II ended, Westheimer decided to immigrate to British-controlled Mandatory Palestine at 16 years of age.[20][9] Immigrating there in September 1945, at 17 she joined and worked in agriculture at Kibbutz Ramat David, changed her name from Karola to her middle name Ruth, and "first had sexual intercourse on a starry night, in a haystack, without contraception."[21][11][20][13][19] She later told The New York Times that "I am not happy about that, but I know much better now and so does everyone who listens to my radio program."[22] She next lived on Moshav Nahalal, and then Kibbutz Yagur.[21] She then moved to Jerusalem in 1948 to study early childhood education.[12][21]

Though I am only 4 feet 7 inches tall, with a gun in my hand I am the equal of a soldier who's 6 feet 7—and perhaps even at a slight advantage, as I make a smaller target.

—Ruth Westheimer[23]

Westheimer joined the

Sten gun with her eyes closed.[29]

In 1948, on her 20th birthday, Westheimer was seriously wounded in action by an exploding

1947–1949 Palestine war; the explosion killed two girls who were right next to her.[30][23][26][21] She had near-fatal injuries; she was temporarily paralyzed, almost lost both of her feet, the top of one of her feet was blown off, and it was several months of recuperating in a ward before she was able to walk again.[31][7][26][13][23][20][32][33] In 2018 she said that she still visited Israel every year, and felt that it was her real home, and the following year said that she was and is a Zionist.[21][34]

France

In 1950, at the age of 22, Westheimer moved to France.[9] There she studied psychology under psychologist Jean Piaget at the University of Paris (the Sorbonne), and earned an undergraduate degree despite not having had a high school education.[35][36][37][38][39] She then taught psychology at the Sorbonne.[38][40]

United States

In 1956, at 28 years of age and with a newborn daughter, Westheimer immigrated to the United States, settling in Washington Heights, Manhattan.[41][42][43] She worked as a maid, initially for 75 cents an hour and later for one dollar an hour, to put herself through graduate school.[44][45][46][47]

Westheimer earned an

Cornell Medical School, working for seven years under sex therapist Helen Singer Kaplan, two years training under her and five years training others.[16][52][38][53]

In 1965 Westheimer became a

German Citizenship Project that enabled descendants of Germans deprived of their citizenship during Nazi rule to reclaim their citizenship without losing the citizenship of their home country.[55][56]

Early career

After receiving her doctorate, Westheimer briefly worked for

New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center/Weill Cornell Medicine, and West Point.[57][58][59][60][3] In addition, she treated sex therapy patients in a private practice, on East 73rd Street on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.[60][7]

Media career

Make believe it's an ice cream cone."

—Ruth Westheimer, upon being asked for advice as to how to have oral sex with a man.[61]

Described as "Grandma

sexually transmitted diseases.[67][68][60] She became known for giving serious advice while being candid and funny, but warm, cheerful, and respectful; and for her tag phrase: "Get some".[38][60][69][70] Journalist Joyce Wadler described her as a "world class charmer."[71]

One journalist described her voice as "a cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse".[72] She was noted for having "an accent only a psychologist could love", one that was "dripping chicken soup."[62][38][73]

In 1984 The New York Times noted that on radio the 55-year-old had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom."[74] Journalist Jeannette Catsoulis wrote later in The New York Times, "It's hard to explain how revolutionary her humor, candor and sexual explicitness seemed for the time."[75]

1980–1989

When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.

—Ruth Westheimer[76]

Dr. Ruth's media career began in 1980 when she was 52 years old, and her radio show, Sexually Speaking, debuted on

contraception and unwanted pregnancies. Betty Elam, the community affairs manager at WYNY, was impressed with her talk and offered Westheimer $25 per week to make Sexually Speaking, which started as a 15-minute show airing every Sunday at midnight, which was historically a dead time.[78][79]

By 1981, as the show attracted 250,000 listeners every week despite the network not doing any promotion for it—growing simply by word of mouth, it was extended to be one hour long on Sunday nights, starting at 10 pm.[79][41][64] It was soon picked up by 90 stations across the United States, and it ran for a decade.[7][64] The show broke taboos of the time, about speaking publicly and explicitly about sex.[80] The New York Times described it as one of the station's "oddest shows," and among its biggest draws.[81][60] A New York University professor of human sexuality made listening to her show a class assignment.[60] When the station offered a "Dr. Ruth T-shirt" ("Sex on Sunday? You Bet!"), it received 3,500 orders.[60][82]

By 1982, her show was WYNY's top-rated phone-in talk show.[83] Singer Pattie Brooks recorded a song as an ode to her, "Dr. Ruth," with a trendy, dance-rock tinged, high pressure beat.[84][85][86]

By 1983 her show was the top-rated radio show in the area, in the country's largest radio market.

NBC Radio began syndicating the radio program nationwide—it is now heard in 93 markets.[47] She went on to produce her radio show until 1990.[88]

In 1984, Westheimer began hosting several television programs on the Lifetime TV network, and one in syndication. Her first show was Good Sex! With Dr. Ruth Westheimer, airing for a half hour at 10 pm on weeknights. She would end each show by reminding her audience: "Have good sex!"[89]

The show was expanded in 1985 to a full hour, and its name was changed to The Dr. Ruth Show. During each of her live shows, 3,000 callers tried to get through, and the show attracted an average of 450,000 viewers a night, double the audience previously watching at that hour, and attracted more viewers than any other show on Lifetime; that number rose to 2 million homes a week.

People.[61] That year she also appeared as an actress in the French romantic comedy film Une Femme ou Deux (One Woman or Two), starring Gérard Depardieu and Sigourney Weaver, playing the part of a wealthy philanthropist.[91]

Dr. Ruth's Game of Good Sex was released in 1985.[92][93] A Baltimore distributor said: "I'm going to have to compare this to Trivial Pursuit. The orders overshadow anything we've had in our company's 100-year history."[82] Dr. Ruth's Computer Game of Good Sex was a hit, released in 1986 for the Commodore 64, DOS, and Apple II.[94][95][96][97] In addition, she gave an interview in the January 1986 issue of Playboy.

Westheimer in 1988

In 1987 she began a separate half-hour syndicated series on many broadcast stations called Ask Dr. Ruth, which was co-hosted by Larry Angelo. Westheimer's friend Eleanor Bergstein, the writer of the 1987 romantic drama dance film Dirty Dancing, attempted to cast her to play Mrs. Schumacher in the film (with Joel Grey as her husband).[98][99] However, Westheimer backed out when she learned the role involved her playing a thief.[100][101][60]

She appeared on a TV Guide cover in 1988. Dr. Ruth returned to the Lifetime network in 1988 with The All New Dr. Ruth Show. That was followed in 1989 by two teen advice shows called What's Up, Dr. Ruth?, and a call-in show, You're on the Air with Dr. Ruth in 1990.[102] That year she also appeared in an episode of the television series Tall Tales & Legends as the "Mysterious Stranger."

During the 1980s "Dr. Ruth" became a household name and a major cultural figure; during the 1980s and 1990s she made frequent guest appearances on several

Live with Kelly and Ryan in both 1989 and 1990. In 1987, she made a TV commercial for Signal mouthwash.[105][106][107]

1990–1999

Westheimer in 1995

In 1993, Westheimer and Israeli TV host Arad Nir hosted a talk show in Hebrew titled Min Tochnit, on the newly opened

Israeli Channel 2. The show was similar to her US Sexually Speaking show. The name of the show, Min Tochnit, is a play on words: literally "Kind of a program", but "Min" (מין) in Hebrew also means "sex" and "gender".[108] 1993 and 1994 saw the publication of "Dr. Ruth's Good Sex Night-to-Night Calendar."[109]

In 1994, she appeared in a computer game, an interactive CD-ROM adaptation of Dr. Ruth's Encyclopedia of Sex released for Windows and the Philips CD-i.[110][111][112]

In 1995 she hosted a series of Playboy instructional videos entitled "Making Love." She also wrote a column distributed both nationally and internationally by the King Features Syndicate.[3][58] In 1996, she co-authored Heavenly Sex, on Judaism and sex, in which she wrote: "The great rabbi Simeon ben-Halafta called the penis the great peacemaker of the home."[3] She refers to the Book of Ruth as encouraging single women to initiate sex (providing the relationship leads to marriage), cites a Talmudic mandate that an unemployed man must make love to his wife every day, and mentions the writings of a 12th-century rabbi who suggested that couples use different positions while having sex.[3]

In the 1990s Westheimer was a

Dr. Ruth" of a 1993 episode of the sci-fi drama series Quantum Leap.[113] She appeared on the BBC radio show Desert Island Discs in 1990, on The Arsenio Hall Show once in 1990, once in 1991, once in 1993, and once in 1994, on The Howard Stern Show once in 1991, on Late Night with Conan O'Brien once in 1994, twice in 1995, three times in 1996, and once in 1997, on The Daily Show once in 1998, and was featured in a Celebrity Deathmatch episode in 1999.[114][115][116][117][118][119]

Dr. Ruth also appeared in several commercial advertisements, including a 1990 commercial for Clairol Herbal Essences shampoo and body wash, a 1991 Pepsi commercial (along with Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, Bo Jackson, and Gilbert Gottfried), and a 1994 Honda Prelude ad.[120][121][122][123]

2000–2009

Ruth Westheimer in 2009

In 2000 she appeared on Grammy Award winner Tom Chapin's album This Pretty Planet, in the song "Two Kinds of Seagulls", in which she and Chapin sing in a duet of various animals that reproduce sexually.[124] "It takes two to tingle" says the song.[125] That year, she also made a TV commercial for Entenmann's Raspberry Danish Twist.[126]

Between 2001 and 2007, Westheimer made regular appearances on the

long words. In 2002, she received a nomination for a Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album for Children, for Timeless Tales and Music of Our Time.[127] In 2003–04, she made 10 appearances as a panelist on the game show Hollywood Squares
.

In 2004 she made

Live with Regis and Kelly. In January 2009, the 55th anniversary issue of Playboy magazine included Westheimer as #13 in a list of the 55 most important people in sex from the past 55 years.[128] That year, Vanity Fair named her one of "12 women who changed the way we look at sex."[14] She also appeared in the 2009 documentary Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel.[129]

2010–present

In 2011,

The Today Show
in 2015 and 2019.

Not slowing down, in 2018 she wrote three books.

Strahan, Sara and Keke.[136][137][138][139] She also has over 100,000 followers on Twitter.[24]

Speaking of the Holocaust in 2021, Westheimer said: "We must keep saying to the young people, 'Think of these words — never again! Never again!' All of this must never happen again."[11]

Other activities

Westheimer has delivered

Hebrew Union College seminary, Lehman College of the City University of New York and, in 2004, at Trinity College, where she has been awarded honorary degrees.[140][59] She also was the guest speaker at the Bronx High School of Science in New York in commemoration of Yom HaShoah 2008, and received an honorary Bronx High School of Science diploma.[59]

Westheimer is an accomplished

Ethiopian Jews, Papua New Guinea's Trobriand Islanders, and the Druze, a sect originating from Shia Islam now residing in Israel, Syria, and Lebanon. The latter were the subject of her 2007 PBS documentary The Olive and the Tree: The Secret Strength of the Druze, and a book of the same title.[141][142] She was also the Executive Producer for PBS documentaries Surviving Salvation and No Missing Link, Shifting Sands: Bedouin Women at the Crossroads, and The Unknown Face of Islam (on the Circassians).[109]

Westheimer is a board member of the Museum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust in Lower Manhattan in New York City.[143][14] She was also made a fellow of the New York Academy of Medicine, which is an honor for a non-physician.[144]

Play and documentary on Dr. Ruth's life

When I was looking for a job in the United States I was told to take speech lessons, but they were a dollar an hour—too expensive. Now, Debra Jo Rupp [who plays me in Becoming Dr. Ruth] had to take speech coaching to learn my accent! It's good to be Dr. Ruth!

—Ruth Westheimer[52]

In October 2013 the one-woman play Becoming Dr. Ruth, written by

Off Broadway at the Westside Theatre.[12][145] Actress Debra Jo Rupp played the role of Dr. Ruth.[145] The play showcased the sex therapist's life from fleeing the Nazis in the Kindertransport and joining the Haganah in Jerusalem as a scout and sniper, to her struggles to succeed as a single mother coming to America.[146] Eileen DeSandre played Dr. Ruth in the Virginia Repertory Theatre production of Becoming Dr. Ruth.[147] In 2021, actress Tovah Feldshuh played Dr. Ruth.[148]

In 2019, the documentary Ask Dr. Ruth directed by Ryan White was in theaters, and was made available on Hulu, as she approached her 90th birthday.[149][150] it won a 4th Critics' Choice Documentary Award in 2019 as "Most Compelling Living Subject of a Documentary," and was a 19th AARP Movies for Grownups Awards nominee in 2019 for "Best Documentary."[151][152] Having previously avoided discussing her early years and how the Holocaust affected her family and herself, Westheimer believed that current events made it necessary for her to "stand up and be counted." She said that seeing child refugees being separated from their parents upset her, because her own story was reflected in what they were going through.[153]

Accolades

In 2008 Westheimer's name was added to the Bronx Walk of Fame (as the first "Honorary Bronxite," chosen for contributions to the life of the borough).[154] In 2010 she was made a member of the Women in Technology International Hall of Fame.[155] In 2017 she was inducted into the German-American Hall of Fame.[156] In 2019, she was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame.[87]

Westheimer was named 1983 Jewish Woman of Achievement by a consortium of organizations connected with the

Margaret Sanger Award, and in 2019 the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany and the James Parks Morton Interfaith Award.[59][58][160][161]

In 2000 Westheimer received an

Ben Gurion University of the Negev (she remarked: "I wish I had met Ben Gurion. He was short.").[34][162][58][163]

Personal life

Westheimer has been married three times, the first two times briefly.

the Catskills.[3] Fred, too, had escaped Nazi Germany.[164] When Diane Sawyer, interviewing the couple for the TV show 60 Minutes asked her husband about their sex life, he answered, "The shoemaker's children have no shoes."[10] Their marriage lasted 36 years, until his death in 1997.[52]

She has two children, both of whom have doctorates, Miriam Yael Westheimer, who lived in Israel for six years and later married Joel Henry Einleger, and Joel Westheimer, a professor at the University of Ottawa, and four grandchildren.[52][3][23][28][59][165] She said: "I was so short – 4 feet 7 inches – that I couldn't believe that anything could grow inside of me."[166]

She speaks English, German, French, and Hebrew.[2]

In December 2014, Westheimer was a guest at a wedding in the Bronx. The groom, Rabbi Benjamin Goldschmidt, was the great-grandson of the woman who had helped rescue Westheimer from Nazi Germany.[167]

Among her concerns in the 21st century has been loneliness of people.[68] In 2023, Gov. Kathy Hochul of New York appointed Westheimer as the inaugural "Loneliness Ambassador."[3]

Westheimer still lives in the cluttered three-bedroom apartment on 190th Street "in Washington Heights where she raised her two children and became famous, in that order."

Orthodox synagogue Ohav Shalom until it closed), the YMHA of Washington Heights and Inwood of which she was president for 11 years, and a "still sizable community of German Jewish World War II refugees."[52][154][42][170][171][3] She explained: "Because of my experience with the Holocaust, I don't like to lose friends."[3]

Awards

In 2023, Westheimer received the Women's Entrepreneurship Day Psychology Pioneer Award[172] at the United Nations in recognition as a trailblazer and innovators in their field and who inspire all around them to use their lives to make a meaningful impact on the world.

Publications

Filmography

References

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External links

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