Talk:1967 Lake Erie skydiving disaster/GA1: Difference between revisions

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Nominator: Tamzin (talk · contribs) 20:26, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Pi.1415926535 (talk · contribs) 20:58, 15 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Tamzin: Nice work on this article. Just a few minor copyedits and some suggestions; no issues with the sections not listed here. Pi.1415926535 (talk) 23:09, 15 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for the review, @

they|xe) 20:37, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply

]

@Tamzin: A few replies below; everything I didn't reply to looks good. Pi.1415926535 (talk) 22:41, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@

they|xe) 03:48, 18 April 2024 (UTC)[reply

]

Passing it now, great work! Pi.1415926535 (talk) 04:11, 18 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lede

• Infobox and lede should both clarify that this was in the US
  •  Done --
    they|xe) 20:19, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
• Per
  MOS:GEOLINK
  , I recommend having the link read "Huron, Ohio" instead of just "Huron"
  • The Buffalo example in GEOLINK has always been ambiguous to me as to whether the link must extend to the second-level division, or whether one may only link the locality, as in the Sydney example. My approach has been to only link locality, for accessibility reasons: To someone who has trouble distinguishing between small areas of blue and black, it's not obvious that the comma in "
    they|xe) 20:19, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
    • I'm not opposed to having a discussion there to clarify - if you start it, I'll add my two cents - but I won't hold GA up over it. Pi.1415926535 (talk) 22:41, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
      • Pinged you there, but, xlink to
        they|xe) 03:48, 18 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
        ]
• I'd recommend having the lede sentence be shorter and just indicate the scope of the disaster. Something like On August 27, 1967, sixteen skydivers drowned in Lake Erie... Currently, you have to read the whole first paragraph to know that the disaster was drowning.
  • How's
    they|xe) 20:19, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
• Is there any source newer than 1992 that indicates whether there have been deadlier accidents? I know the industry intentionally hides that sort of information, so the current source and wording is fine if nothing newer is available.
  • I have been unable to find any sources more recent than the '92 article. I think that if any event had since surpassed this one for post-jump fatalities, it would have come up in my research at some point, if only in passing, but I can't prove that, hence the hedging with "as of 1992". --
    they|xe) 20:19, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]

• I recommend left-aligning the image so that it doesn't get pushed down by the infobox. (I know that image alignment can be controversial, but I find that keeping images with the accompanying text is most important.)
  • I'm relatively pro-sandwiching as well, when it's a lesser of two evils.  Done. --
    they|xe) 20:26, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
• Worth linking "Ortner Airport" to List of airports in Ohio where it's mentioned?
  • I'm not sure. I previously had this redlinked, but at
    they|xe) 20:26, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
• Same GEOLINK change for Wakeman, Ohio
  • Per above. --
    they|xe) 20:26, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
• Link to aircraft registration before listing the number
  • The letter "N" is linked to N-number, a redirect to
    they|xe) 20:26, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
    • I think it's a hair too subtle - the reader shouldn't have to click on the link to know what the number is supposed to be. Pi.1415926535 (talk) 22:41, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
      • they|xe) 03:48, 18 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
        ]
• Were both the 20k and 30k jumpers to deploy chutes at 3k feet? If so, change They were to All were.
  • The Time source does not say what height the 30k jumpers would deploy at. --
    they|xe) 20:26, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
    • I would then clarify in the article that the 20k jumpers would open at 3k, as the current wording is ambiguous. Pi.1415926535 (talk) 22:41, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
      • I've actually just cut it entirely. I say later that they did jump at that height, so it would only be worth mentioning the planned jump height if it were different from what actually happened. --
        they|xe) 03:48, 18 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
        ]

• The first sentence here most duplicates the last sentence in the previous section.
  • they|xe) 20:30, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]

• following days, the final body being --> following days; the final body was
  •  Done --
    they|xe) 20:36, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]
• I see you've created
  Dreyer v. United States (1972), Freeman v. United States, and Dreyer v. United States
  as additional redirects. Not a GA requirement, obviously, but worth doing real quick.
  • The PTOPIC for Freeman is almost certainly this 2011 case, and PTOPIC on Dreyer is ambiguous between the '72 case and some recent 9th Circuit cases, but I've created the date-disambiguated Dreyer. Good catch. Think I had meant to do that at some point. :) --
    they|xe) 20:36, 17 April 2024 (UTC)[reply
    ]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (

   lists

   ):

2. It is factually accurate and
   source spot-check
   .

   a (

   reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism

   ):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail: