Unconditional love
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Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism or complete love. Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging.
In
Conditional love
Unlike unconditional love which represents a limitless and altruistic form of love, conditional love is based upon conditions or expectations of the lover being met and satisfied.[2]
Conditional love, in some ways, is a way for the lover to diminish the autonomy and relatedness necessary in creating or developing intrinsic motivation.[3] Unconditional love, on the other hand, is able to encourage the autonomy and relatedness that leads to personal growth.
Unconditional love should not be confused with unconditional dedication: unconditional dedication or "duty" refers to an act of the will irrespective of feelings (e.g. a person may consider that they have a duty to stay with someone); unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will.
Unconditional love separates the individual from their behavior. However, the individual may exhibit behaviors that are unacceptable in a particular situation.
Humanistic psychology
Humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers spoke of an unconditional positive regard and dedication towards one single support. Rogers stated that the individual needed an environment that provided them with genuineness, authenticity, openness, self-disclosure, acceptance, empathy, and approval.[4] Rogers proposed this idea of Unconditional Positive Regard not only in social and familial situations, but also encouraged getting the healthy loving environment in therapy situations as well. It is important that in face-to-face therapy settings this environment is fostered along with empathy and understanding for the individual. It is through unconditional positive regard that change happens because the individual can feel that openness, love, and ability to be themselves again which fosters a true desire to change for the right reasons.[5]
Also, Abraham Maslow supported the unconditional love perspective by saying that in order to grow, an individual had to have a positive perspective of themselves.[6] In Man's Search For Meaning, logotherapist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl draws parallels between the human capacity to love unconditionally and living a meaningful life. Frankl writes: "Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the essence of another human being unless he loves him. ... Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize ... potentialities."[7] For Frankl, unconditional love is a means by which we enable and reach human potential.
Neurological basis
There has been some evidence to support a neural basis for unconditional love, showing that it stands apart from other types of love.
In a study conducted by
Along with the idea of "mother love", which is commonly associated with unconditional love, a study found patterns in the
Religious perspective
Christianity
In
Buddhism
In Buddhism one of the most important concepts is called "bodhicitta".[11] There are two kinds of Bodhicitta. They are relative and absolute bodhicitta.
In relative bodhicitta, one learns about the desire to gain the understanding of unconditional love, which in Buddhism is expressed as loving-kindness and compassion. The point is to develop bodhicitta for all living (sentient) beings.
Absolute bodhicitta is a more esoteric tantric teaching. Understanding the principle of loving-kindness and compassion is expressed when one treats all living beings as if one was or had been (in former lives) their own mother. One's mother will do anything for the benefit of her child. The most loving of all relationships may be that between a mother and her child. Of course, if all beings treated all other living beings as they would their own child, then there would be much less enmity in this world.
The importance of this cannot be overstated. At every moment one has the opportunity to make a choice how to act, and to be completely mindful of one's actions means that in every interaction with another being one will consciously act with loving-kindness and compassion toward every other being, no matter what the nature of that interaction.
Hinduism
Islam
In Islamic belief, unconditional love can only be directed to Allah.[12] The highest spiritual attainment in Islam is related to the love of God. "Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides God, as equal (with God): They love them as they should love God. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for God."[13]
O lovers! The religion of the love of God is not found in Islam alone.
In the realm of love, there is neither belief, nor unbelief.[14]
In Islamic Sufism, unconditional love is the basis for the divine love Ishq-e-Haqeeqi, elaborated by many great Muslim saints to date. Prominent mystics explain the concept in its entirety and describe its hardcore reality.[citation needed]
She prayed:[17]
O Lord, if I worship You because of Fear of Hell,
then burn me in Hell;
If I worship You because I desire Paradise,
then exclude me from Paradise;
But if I worship You for Yourself alone,
then deny me not your Eternal Beauty.
Ishq itself means to love God selflessly and unconditionally. For
Other religions
Unitarian Universalism, though not having a set religious creed or doctrine, generally accepts the belief that all human beings are worthy and in need of unconditional love though charity in the community and spiritual understanding. The Unitarian Universalist Association explicitly argues this in the Seven Principles, where the "inherent worth and dignity" of all humans is a regularly cited source arguing for unconditional love.
References
- ISBN 0-15-632930-1.
- ISSN 0140-1971.
- )
- ISBN 0842202897.
- ISBN 978-0-230-28049-6, retrieved 2022-07-07
- S2CID 144166139.
- ^ Frankl, Viktor. "Man's Search for Meaning". www.sonoma.edu. Retrieved 2016-09-23.
- S2CID 5810242. Retrieved 2011-12-30.
- PMID 21881566.
- ^ "Martin Luther King's ringing call for freedom". Kansas City Star. Kansas City. 2012-01-16. Retrieved 2012-04-10.
- S2CID 144162196.
- ISSN 0014-3367.
- ^ Quran 2:165.
- ^ Rumi's Quatrain no. 768, translated by Gamard & Farhadi. Versions of this quatrain have been made by Shahram Shiva, "Hush: Don't Tell God", p. 17 and by Azima Kolin (based on Mafi), "Rumi: Whispers of the Beloved", p. 71. [`âshiq to yaqîn dân, ke musulmân na-bûd dar maZhab-é `ishq, kufr-o îmân na-bûd].
- Margaret Smith, Rabi'a The Mystic and Her Fellow-Saints in Islam, Cambridge Library Collection, 1928.
- ISBN 9788176252669.
- ISBN 978-93-82277-87-3.
- ISBN 978-1-438-42796-6.
Further reading
- Kramer, J. and Alstead D., The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power, 1993, ISBN 1-883319-00-5
- ISBN 0-8050-5826-5
- Schnarch, David, Constructing the Sexual Crucible; An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy,
- Schnarch, David, Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship.
- Stendhal, On Love: The Classic Analysis of Romantic Love
- Tennov, Dorothy, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, 1999