Wikipedia:Complete bollocks
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This page in a nutshell: Articles that are obviously false are complete bollocks and should be treated differently from similar articles. |
The
Identifying complete bollocks
Some giveaway signs of complete bollocks are phrases such as emerging theory and widely disputed. Articles
A confirmatory sign of complete bollocks is a set of circular articles, or a
Probably the most prolific source of complete bollocks is the bored student fraternity. As Uncle G put it,
The art thereof
Consider these deathless lines by Charles Battell Loomis:
A Classic Ode
Oh, limpid stream ofTyrus, now I hear
The pulsing wings of Armageddon's host,
Clear as acolcotharand yet more clear—
(Twin orbs, like those of which theParseesboast;)
Down in thy pebbled deeps in early spring
The dimpled naiads sport, as in the time
When Ocidelus with untiring wing
Drave teams of prancing tigers, 'mid the chime
Of all the bells of Phicol. Scarcely one
Peristome veils its beauties now, but then—
Like nascent diamonds, sparkling in the sun,
Orcircinate, or moss in marshy fen.
Loud as the blasts of Tubal, loud and strong,
Sweet as the songs of Sappho, aye more sweet;
Long as the spear of Arnon, twice as long,
What time he hurled it at King Pharaoh's feet.
As Douglas Hofstadter has pointed out, the archaizing language and the mix of classical and Biblical allusions all lend authority to this poem. A reader may read it, and re-read it: there must be some meaning there, it seems so serious in tone and intention. Further study will bring it to light. Good luck!
After you have figured out the poem, consider the following:
- Problems in a business process may arise in three places:
- Problems in a business process may moreover be classified into two separate categories:
- the monogenetic problem, in which a single cause intervenes in the process, and
- the polygenetic problem, in which several different causes intervene, either simultaneously, concurrently, or serially.[3]
The reader is challenged by this section to identify what he has learned from the text that was not already known, or could not have been thought up by a mind gifted with sufficient leisure and vocabulary. Pay careful heed to the bolded terms, with their Greek letters and
The wisdom thereof
- He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
- — Attributed to Abraham Lincoln
- One thing you will note about shopping-center theory is that you could have thought of it yourself, and a course in it will go a long way toward dispelling the notion that business proceeds from mysteries too recondite for you and me.
- — Joan Didion, "On the Mall", in The White Album
- Ow! My groin.
See also
- Vanispamcruftisement
- Patent nonsense
- Jibber-jabber
- Dealing with hoaxes
- Handwavium
- Economy of Sri Lanka § Transition to biological agriculture
References
- ^ Roughly translates to "complete nonsense" in other dialects, but is stronger in tone.
- The Journal of Consulting Stylistics, vol. 37, p. 202 (Summer, 2006)
- ^ See The Compendious and Voluminous Thesaurus of Lofty Abstractions and Metaphysical Terminology, by Grignr.