Wikipedia:Peer review/My Man (Tamar Braxton song)/archive1

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My Man (Tamar Braxton song)

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I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to bring it through the FAC process sometime in the near future and I would like to get as much feedback as possible first and to see if that is even a viable possibility for this article. Any comments and suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Aoba47 (talk) 22:04, 9 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

Dank
  • Revised.
    Aoba47 (talk) 09:30, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • "April 27, 2017":
    MOS:DATECOMMA
    prefers a comma at the end.
  • Revised.
    Aoba47 (talk) 09:30, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
    ]

Pseud 14

  • considered "My Man" as a highlight of Bluebird of Happiness → considered "My Man" as the highlight of (same in the reception section); if the song is described as the main highlight of the album.
  • Only one of the reviews (South China Morning Post) names "My Man" as their favorite song while the two other reviews (Houston Chronicle and AllMusic) list it alongside a few other songs as the standouts of the album so that's why I used a rather than the.
  • @
    Aoba47: Ahh thanks for clarifying. Perhaps one of the highlights would be a good alternative then, so it aligns with the reviews. Otherwise, I don't see a problem with the usage. Pseud 14 (talk) 16:06, 13 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • "My Man" was promoted on an episode -- based on the article prose it seems like this was played on the episode and not a live performance? Perhaps it'd be better to say featured
  • eponymous debut album (2000) -- since the album isn't named, I think it could be written as eponymous debut album in 2000 instead of an enclosure.
  • When discussing this switch -- perhaps move or decision?
  • while accompanied by a group of back-up dancers → while accompanied by back-up dancers
  • Thank you again. I am trying to be more patient with this peer review, and I am planning on leaving it up at least until the end of the month, but I will ping you when I bring it to the FAC level.
    Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 13 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
    ]

NØ

  • There seem to be direct quotes used within ref titles ("Best Work Yet", "Pick Me Up"), and the Spotify/Apple Music refs do not seem to confirm to MOS:CONFORMTITLE. This should probably be fixed before an FAC, lest someone moan about it there, lol.
  • I wonder if linking studio album in the opening sentence is necessary. There are five links in the sentence and this one seems to be causing a
    MOS:SOB
    .
  • "The lyrics are about infidelity, and were based" - Tense change mid-sentence. Perhaps this could be fixed as "Its lyrics about infidelity were based on Braxton's parents and their divorce after her father's affair"
  • "It peaked at number three on the Billboard's Adult R&B Songs chart" - The use of "the" might be unnecessary with this particular sentence structure.
  • I guess the "studio album" comment would also apply to the corresponsing sentence in the Background and release section
  • Unrelated to the review but glad to read Braxton left Epic Records, a horrible label in my opinion.
  • Uproxx is italicized on its article so it could be here as well.
  • It might be helpful to introduce "Pick Me Up" as another track from Bluebird of Happiness, as this song does not have an article and it might not be immediately obvious to readers.
  • The first sentence of the second paragraph of Music and lyrics should probably refer to "My Man" by name, as another song is mentioned in the preceding sentence.
  • "AllMusic's Andy Kellman wrote that album" - Maybe "AllMusic's Andy Kellman wrote that the album"
  • "A portion of "Blind", the second single from Bluebird of Happiness, was included at the end of the video" - Just a clarification question but was a portion of the song included, or its video?
  • There's another sea-of-blue thing with "game show Hip Hop Squares". I think most people might be familiar with game shows so that could be the link that's removed.
  • I have been advised to remove "track listing" sections on prior nominations, unless there is something unusually notable about it that is discussed in prose.
  • Chart tables should incorporate a sub-heading like "Weekly chart positions for 'My Man'", and for the Release history section it should be "Release dates and format(s) for 'My Man'"
  • Words like "Records" seem to be usually omitted from record label names in Release history tables, although I can't recall the reason.
I hope this review is helpful. Your ability to write such engaging articles about underrated songs always impresses me!--NØ 08:34, 16 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@
Aoba47 (talk) 17:36, 16 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
]
You are most welcome and this was a fun read! I think the inclusion of the bit about "Blind" is a matter of personal preference, as this does not seem to be something that drew a huge amount of coverage which would compulsorily require a mention. I think the paragraph this information is present in is small enough that including it is not distracting from the more important information.--NØ 20:50, 16 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I am glad you enjoyed the article! That is always great to hear. I ultimately decided to remove the information just because in my opinion, it seemed too trivial (as it was not mentioned in any reliable, third-party source) and I realized that I did not want to use the music video as a primary source to summarize just a single moment. In retrospect, I can see that being a bit odd (as the video should either be used as the primary source for complete summary or not, and I prefer to not use music videos in that way, and I do not think that it is encouraged anyway). Thank you again!
Aoba47 (talk) 21:14, 16 May 2023 (UTC)[reply
]
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