Wikipedia:Top 25 Report/November 14 to 20, 2021

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Prepared with commentary by Igordebraga, TheJoebro64, Benmite, Mcrsftdog, and InPursuitOfAMorePerfectUnion

⭠ Last week's report

According to a bunch of articles written by people way too old to be using phrases like this, "Sad Girl Autumn" has officially sprung or equinoxed or whatever. This is all thanks to the back-to-back album releases of apparent sad girl representatives Adele (#2) and Taylor Swift (#11), who prove that money can't always buy you happiness, but the supposed season of seasonal depression is living up to its new nickname in more ways than one.

Smack dab at the top of this list is the depressing acquittal of a blubbering bullshitter who shot and killed two people at a protest, and a couple spots below that is the tragic shooting death of an up-and-coming rapper. Some sad excuses for films also populate the list (#7, #10 depending on who you ask) and the sad reality that, even if money can't necessarily buy you happiness, it can definitely guarantee you a hot partner (#18). Also worth note is Squid Game's elimination from our list after weeks on the Top 25.

Rank	Article	Class	Views	Image	Notes/about
1	Kenosha unrest shooting		2,822,572		The widely-publicized trial of Kyle Rittenhouse ended with his acquittal on all charges on November 19. For the unaware: in August 2020, during protests and/or riots following the shooting of Jacob Blake in Kenosha, Wisconsin, the then-17-year-old Rittenhouse shot three protesters, killing two. Rittenhouse was charged on five counts of reckless endangerment and homicide. The prosecution was unable to undermine Rittenhouse's claim that he had acted in self-defense, leading to a unanimous "not guilty" verdict. The American public's reaction has been (unsurprisingly) polarized, with the right celebrating Rittenhouse's acquittal while the left decries it as a miscarriage of justice.
2	Adele		1,508,018		Adele ages pretty weirdly, huh? She was born at age 19, then turned 21 before hitting it big, then she was 25, and now all of a sudden she's 30? What in the British witchcraft and wizardry is this?! For those of you who don't know Adele and didn't click the bluelinks, or do know Adele and just didn't understand that very poorly executed joke of mine, Adele has not been speedrunning life, though hers has been pretty tumultuous in the years leading up to her latest album. After releasing her album 21 in 2011, Adele gave birth to her son, who she didn't talk about at all on her 2015 album 25. Then, three years after 25, she got married to her longtime partner Simon Konecki (who, like 30 , which revolves around their divorce and tries to explain it to her now 9-year-old son. At the start of this week, she performed some new songs from it during her Reputation. To quote Adele herself, "Oh my god. "
3	Young Dolph		1,208,555		One more unfortunate addition to the list of rappers who died untimely deaths this year ( DMX, Lil Loaded, Biz Markie), let alone to the much longer all-time list of murdered hip hop musicians: this Memphis-based emcee died at age 36 after being gunned down by two unidentified men on November 17, while he was picking up cookies for his mother. His death came right as he seemed to be on the come-up, with his last two albums entering the top 10 of the Billboard 200 chart, and puts a grimly ironic twist on records like Bulletproof and N****s Get Shot Everyday.
4	2022 FIFA World Cup qualification - UEFA		1,107,120		While perennial favorite Argentina punched his ticket to football's greatest event, the brunt of attention regarding the qualifiers went to Europe finishing its group stage. Spots were earned by two former world champions (England, Spain), two slightly traditional squads (Switzerland, Serbia), the defending runner-up (Croatia), and an oft-strong team that embarrassed themselves in the 2018 qualifier (Netherlands).
5	2022 FIFA World Cup qualification		1,104,506
6	Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings		918,933		The second newest MCU sees renewed interest after making its way onto Disney+ last week.
7	Red Notice (film)		864,853		The newest buddy cop-ish blockbuster comes to us by way of Netflix, and was released on the platform on November 12. It stars The Rock (who should have made the list at some point this month for his excellent rap debut, IMHO) as an FBI agent who teams up with Ryan Reynolds, an art thief, to catch Gal Gadot, another art thief. Despite it being the most-watched thing on Netflix as of the writing of this Report, audiences and critics don't seem to be on very high alert for it, with reviews ranging from middling to scathing.
8	Deaths in 2021		780,616		From our #11: And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you?
9	Spider-Man: No Way Home		777,890		The next film in the Spider-Man series, which ends Jon Watts' MCU Spider-Man trilogy that began with 2017's Spider-Man: Homecoming, received its second trailer on November 16. It's by far the most ambitious MCU outing coming this year, as it's not just another MCU Spider-Man movie—it's a multiversal crossover event featuring characters from all three Spider-Man film franchises. The trailer confirmed that the villains Tom Holland's Peter Parker will be facing include Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, and Sandman from Sam Raimi's trilogy and the Lizard and Electro from Marc Webb's duology. Previous Spider-Men Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield don't feature in the trailer, and Holland insists that they won't be appearing in the film at all... though an editing mistake discovered mere minutes after the trailer's release would beg to differ. Nevertheless, avid fans will be keen to edit the Wikipedia plot section the second the film drops, so stay tuned.
10	Eternals (film)		771,670		Ah yes, even if the one at streaming (#6) and the one yet to come (#9) have gotten more views, there is still a Marvel movie in theaters.
11	Taylor Swift		698,460		Last week, Swifties rejoiced after their queen re-released ownership of her music. I can't tell if I love this for being a triumphant middle finger to the record label overlords or hate it for being yet another shameless cash grab from one of the highest-paid singers in the world, whose endless stream of music typically comes complete with an endless stream of overpriced merchandise. According to industry experts, it's half and half .
12	No Time to Die		660,754		The 25th cinematic go of a character once sung by #2 and with a love life as busy and troubled as #11. Not counting two Chinese movies, No Time to Die is the highest-grossing movie of the year, and now is also earning some bucks from VOD.
13	Ghostbusters: Afterlife		583,413		5 years after an all-female reinvention that was targeted by undeserved hate, there is an outright sequel to the Ghostbusters story. And Jason Reitman didn't hold back in homaging what his father directed in the original, as the story following the grandchildren of the late Harold Ramis, I mean, Egon Spengler, has as many callbacks to the 1984 classic as possible.
14	Zac Stacy		575,790		The former running back has been arrested for (allegedly, on video) assaulting his partner.
15	Jake Gyllenhaal		543,504		#11 has a bevy of songs on her exes, and one in the newly re-released album, "All Too Well", is supposedly about this talented actor. Some readers might've also sought if Mysterio will appear in more than just the trailers for #9.
16	2022 FIFA World Cup		527,088		We're about a year away from football's biggest event, because by giving hosting rights to Qatar the games need to be in its winter, in the last quarter, so the players don't boil alive. 12 teams have earned their spots (#4, #5), and a few more are probably due in the next match day, January 27.
17	Elon Musk		517,983		The richest man in the world keeps himself in the news by taunting United States Senators over Twitter.
18	Pete Davidson		509,918		Squid Game was eliminated from our list right as the star of that hilarious Saturday Night Live parody entered. His perplexing, highly-publicized whirlwind of a relationship with pop superstar Ariana Grande earned him an engagement ring, an eponymous song, and several appearances on this list back in 2018. Now, the apparently long-schlonged, "butthole-eyed" king of Staten Island has ended up in an even odder pairing with the de facto head of the Kardashian Klan, whose taste in men has famously mirrored her taste in coffee, a fact that one of the sisters noted in a meme referencing the actual Klan. This is the first white guy she's dated in some time now, maybe in an effort to distance herself from Kanye–sorry, Ye's accusations that the Ku Klux Kardashian were trying to Get Out him. This new fling also comes in the wake of Kim's recent hosting gig on the show where Davidson made a name for himself, one that has repeatedly lampooned Kim and her sisters' vocal-fried idiocy time and time again.
19	ICC Men's T20 World Cup		499,146		A tournament for another popular sport played on grass, albeit one much more complicated than football (as put by an Adolescent Genetically Altered Shinobi Terrapin: "Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!").
20	Dune (2021 film)		487,533		Dune—an epic fantasy film released last month—is slowly dropping off of the chart, while The Wheel of Time—an epic fantasy TV series that premiered on Amazon Prime this week—is probably on its way up.
21	The Wheel of Time (TV series)		469,691
22	Arcane (TV series)		464,765		Netflix's latest hit streaming series is a prequel to the game that Videogamedunkey is done with.
23	2022 FIFA World Cup qualification – UEFA Second Round		462,613		Three spots are left for the Old World in Qatar (#16). Twelve teams are up for them, Italy, Portugal, Sweden, Wales, Ukraine, Scotland, Turkey, North Macedonia, Russia, Poland... and because UEFA is trying to prove the Nations League is worth anything, Austria and Czech Republic based on that tournament, even if six other teams performed better in the qualifier (#5).
24	Patrizia Reggiani		442,975		With House of Gucci about to hit theaters, searches have already appeared for Lady Gaga's role, the woman who arranged the death of ex-husband Maurizio Gucci, head of the famous fashion house.
25	The Wheel of Time		430,627		Keeping off the list two stars from #7 is the source material of #21, a fourteen book saga which author Robert Jordan died before completing but had Brandon Sanderson check his extensive notes to finish.