Talk:2014 FA Community Shield/GA1

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Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 13:05, 5 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• There seems to be quite a lot of prose issues to deal with, some jargon and a bit of POV. I would encourage the nominator to re-read the article after making the suggested changes and make further changes as suitable:
• Lead and background sections seem very similar to the 1989 FA Charity Shield which I reviewed for GA last year. Is this attributed on the talk page? - see Wikipedia:Copying within Wikipedia
  • I put a note of acknowledgement on the talk page yesterday or the day before '''tAD''' (talk) 22:45, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "the match is officially referred to as "The FA Community Shield supported by McDonald's."" is or was?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 10:54, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "The team saw off competition from Liverpool" would expect "club" to be more accurate here
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 10:55, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "prior to this they won four outright" is "outright" necessary here? They had won four, right?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger used his press conference" which press conference?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• Financial Fair Play is abbreviated to (FFP) but not used elsewhere
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "He was overall satisfied with the club's transfer activity during the summer" use "overall" after "satisfied" or "summer"
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• link "friendly"
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Pellegrini clarified Lampard's transfer was not done by underhand tactics" seems to be POV, also "done" doesn't seem to fit
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "victory in the Community Shield, as it provided a platform" it would provide
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "the abuse he received from his former supporters" is this Arsenal supporters? They are not exactly "his" former supporters - clarify
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "it went on general sale" what is "it"?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Manchester City was predicted to line up" ... "Arsenal was expected to line up" generally this article uses [were], why not here?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Due to a specified pre-season programme, Pellegrini was without several players, namely Vincent Kompany, Fernandinho, Sergio Agüero and Pablo Zabaleta." what does this mean?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Wenger's selection showed Rosický and Giroud started the match as substitutes" would start
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Debuchy in the eighth minute crossed the ball from the right" expect "in the eighth minute" before or after the idea
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "breaking on the counter" seems like jargon
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Sanogo held the ball" ambiguous
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "put the ball past the net" appears to describe the goal, but doesn't make sense
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "The substitutions resulted in Arsenal extending their lead." not evident that the third goal was due to Manchester City making substitutions -
  WP:OR
  ?
  • Removed sentence entirely. I think it was supposed to suggest that Giroud had scored as a substitute, but it seems redundant, and putting it straight after the City substitutions is confusing '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Szczęsny came off his area" doesn't make sense
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:09, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "the team’s organisation and commitment remained intact" his words or yours?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "on the last year's Community Shield" the previous year's
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "The match attracted the biggest multichannel audience of the day." what does this mean?
  • I'm removing that whole sentence. The source seems to just give me a spam file in Turkish, nothing to do with football or TV '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• Further prose issues:
  • "He aimed for his team to build on their FA Cup success"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis was upset the low allocation"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Manchester City found themselves two goals down after 41 minutes."
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the striker belted the ball over"
    • Done (Jovetic is listed as an AM, so he wasn't even a striker) '''tAD''' (talk)
  • "nestled into the goalkeeper's net"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Manchester City responded with half chances"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "dealt with"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:23, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• Images
  • File:Olivier Giruod - Community Shield MotM 2014.jpg - I am concerned that this is "someone else's work" and not eligible for the designated license. Image doesn't add value to the article.
    • Removed '''tAD''' (talk) 11:27, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
      • I disagree, I think the image works very well in the article. Furthermore, the licence is fine as it was uploaded to Flickr under the CC-BY licence by the person who originally took the photo. –
        Jay 15:32, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply
        ]
        • The license is fine, but the question is, "is the license appropriate?" You assume that the person who took the photo has permission to release it under that license, but it seems to be that it is licensed work belonging to somebody else. Taking a picture of it doesn't automatically give all permissions to the photographer, as far as I am aware. It would appear to fall under the category of a derivative work per Commons:Derivative works. Freedom of panorama doesn't seem to apply due to it being classified under "graphic works", which "cannot be uploaded to Commons without a licence from the copyright holder" per Commons:Freedom of panorama. C679 19:02, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The
    caption for File:Manuel Pellegrini 2013.jpg
    doesn't seem to be suitable.
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 11:27, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• I will check the referencing (2a and 2b) after the above has been addressed. C679 08:52, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• Good work tAD with the changes. An update; I have put the discussed image up for deletion at Commons per the criteria stipulated here for not using it in the article. From the other material discussed above, the point about copying from within Wikipedia has not been addressed. The additional prose issues should be addressed:
  • "failed to reach his a teammate"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Silva conducted another Manchester City move straight afterwards, which Arsenal’s defence dealt with."
    • Done (I think) '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A shot by Giroud from 25 yards (23 m) dipped over Caballero and landed in the goalkeeper's net." This may appear obvious to you and me, but!
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "while Micah Richards and Scott Sinclair came on for Kolarov and Navas." for the other team
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • one (solitary) case of Shield being "shield". If it refers to the object then it is not incorrect, but perhaps "trophy" would be a step further from ambiguity
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "contractual reasons with Wembley Stadium"
    • Done '''tAD''' (talk)

C679 20:02, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• I checked for referencing and uncovered a few more things to address, below:
• "I think as managers we have enough problems with our own teams to be talking about other teams." not exactly as the reference has it
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "abuse he received from Arsenal supporters" add "since his transfer" per the context at the reference
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "the tickets on general sale for Manchester City fans on 22 July 2014" not a referencing issue, but looks like a missing verb
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "the fifth time he officiated at Wembley Stadium" more precisely fifth time he had refereed - as "officiated" may include assistant referee duties, etc. - per the reference
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Pellegrini had agreed to excuse several players from the match, namely Vincent Kompany, Fernandinho, Sergio Agüero and Pablo Zabaleta." that's four but the reference mentions seven
  • (This error came from me using a BBC source at the start. The MEN source came later, because the BBC one was erased for the actual match report) Done '''tAD''' (talk) 19:43, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Manchester City got the match underway and won the first corner of the match in the fifth minute, but nothing came of it. They struggled to find their rhythm in the opening stages, with Arsenal’s midfield settling much the quicker of the two and Sánchez and Debuchy linking up well." I can't see any evidence at the reference of City kicking off, the first corner is mentioned on 23 minutes, there is no mention of Sanchez and Debuchy being involved together either
  • Rewritten with new source '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Penalty appeals were waved away by Oliver" again not really a referencing issue but the prose needs to be tightened
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Arsenal continued to build pressure in Manchester City’s half and scored the opening goal. Sanogo kept possession of the ball, but his pass to Wilshere was intercepted by Dedryck Boyata. The ball fell to Santi Cazorla who evaded Clichy to create space; his first-time shot went across Caballero and into the bottom right hand corner of the goal." not fully supported by the reference - also of what important is Sanogo keeping possession of the ball before he gave it away?
  • Done (closer to reference) '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "feeding it to Ramsey" prose?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Caballero came off his line" out of the area according to the reference
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "In contrast to the first 45 minutes Manchester City started brightly and tested the Arsenal defence with intricate movement. Monreal denied Jesús Navas time to shoot in the 47th minute with a block and two minutes later Kolarov collected the ball from Silva and charged forward, but his cross on the left flank failed to reach his a teammate." none of this is supported by fn46
  • Rewritten '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• "Silva conducted another Manchester City move straight afterwards, which Arsenal’s defence dealt with." not referenced, and not worth including?
  • Done '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• fn48 is described as Daily Mirror but links to theguardian.com, which seems to be the link from fn44

C679 22:03, 6 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• • Fixed (wrong link) '''tAD''' (talk) 20:05, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
• The text now appears to meet the criteria. I remain concerned regarding the image discussed above, and will keep this review open for the time being. C679 20:26, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • It was deleted from commons this morning. I replaced it with Olivier Giroud celebrating the victory. '''tAD''' (talk) 10:29, 13 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    • Good enough for me. C679 20:47, 13 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]