Talk:Battle of Flores (1592)/GA1

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Reviewer: Khanate General (talk · contribs) 14:52, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Will review in a few days.--Khanate General (talk) 14:52, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• "led by initially Walter Raleigh" "Initially" should be placed next to the verb "led".
• "including the large Portuguese Carrack Madre de Deus which was captured after a long naval battle off Flores island" "Which" introduces a nonrestrictive clause and needs a comma.
• "The expedition, particularly the capture of the great carrack was a huge success" The parenthetical phrase is missing a comma after "carrack".
• "and subsequent arguments of share." The clause needs a verb, like "there were subsequent arguments".

General

• The toolbox shows that multiple links need to be disambiguated .
• There are problems with the sources:
  • Pages should be abbreviated p. or pp. and not pg.
  • Many of the page numbers are also missing a period after the abbreviation.
  • Some of the references are malformed, like the "[[{{subst:date}}]]" in the Hakluyt reference
  • Why are there Spanish words in a list of English language sources? "págs. 59." in the Edwards references should be "pages".
  • This is a minor nitpick, but you should cite the 2004 updated Oxford DNB instead of the outdated 1885 one.
• The article is in need of some major copyediting. There are several grammatical and MoS issues, just in the lead alone. Contact Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors.
• File:Elizabeth1592.jpg is missing the copyright parameters.
  • The article is broad in coverage, stable, and neutral. However, there are problems with the sources, grammar, and images. The article needs a copyeditor to go through it before the review resumes.--Khanate General (talk) 13:07, 10 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sorted some of this.

talk) 22:47, 21 December 2013 (UTC)[reply

]

Thank you. Could you list the changes that you've made below the comments in the bullet points? So that we can determine what still needs fixing.--Khanate General ☪ talk ^{project mongol conquests} 23:17, 21 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sure:

• Pages abbreviated to p.
• Sorted malformed reference - Hakluyt.
• Edwards reference - Spanish words removed & replaced.
• File:Elizabeth1592.jpg now has the correct copyright parameter.
• Improvements in the lead as pointed out.

Will work on some more later.

Has everything else been addressed? Wizardman 04:49, 27 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I have put in a request for

talk) 11:40, 27 January 2014 (UTC)[reply

]

Can the clarification needed tag be addressed? If so I'll pass this assuming good faith that the copyedit will finally get done (I did a skim look in the meantime) Wizardman 02:52, 22 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The copyedit request is in

talk) 21:05, 22 February 2014 (UTC)[reply

]

There's a clarification tag in the second paragraph of Expedition, placed by User:MostRecentUser on 14 February.--Khanate General ☪ talk ^{project mongol conquests} 07:59, 23 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Complicated given the nature of a joint stock venture.

talk) 13:11, 23 February 2014 (UTC)[reply

]

Passing now that the copyedit has (finally) been done. Wizardman 05:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]