Talk:Bravely Default/GA1

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Reviewer:

• You don't need to mention Korean release dates.

  Sorted.

• Is For the Sequel the name of the expanded edition? If it is, you can put it in the lead as well.

  Done.

• Nintendo handled publishing duties overseas - Then the infobox should list Nintendo in the publisher field instead.

  I did. Someone "altered" it after I'd made the initial edit which listed Nintendo as the game's international publisher.

• The gameplay uses a turn-based battle system and job system, in addition to incorporating options to combine job abilities and adjust battle speed and random encounter rates. - wikilink turn-based.

  Done

• this event triggers the opening of a chasm, which destroys the village of Norende. Tiz Arrior, the sole survivor from the village, meets Agnès and defends her from attack by soldiers of Eternia, a land hostile to the Orthodoxy. - This is too detailed for the lead. You can simply removed this sentence and modified the sentence following into "Allying with amnesiac Ringabel, Tiz, the sole survivor of Norende, and Eternian defector Edea Lee, Agnès set out to awaken the crystals and confront a greater evil responsible for the chasm." Eternia does not sound important at all.

  I've adjusted it.

• and was heavily involved in its development and direction - don't really need to mention this, given that you had already mentioned that he is the producer of the game.

  Done.

• aspects of the Dragon Quest series and - wikilink Dragon Quest

  Done.

• was intended to evoke the feelings of classic RPG series - What is the classic series?

  Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, and SaGa. I've used the latter two.

• After the original version's release, the For the Sequel expanded version was developed, and it was the version chosen for overseas release. - You have mentioned this in the first paragraph already. I don't think you need to repeat it again. Perhaps you can merge them together.

  Done.

• Navigation in down, dungeons - Towns instead of down?

  Done (silly mistake to make).

• and after a certain point in the story and airship can be used to speed up travel and access previously inaccessible areas. - don't need "and" in "story and airship"

  It was meant to be "an", not "and". Fixed.

• There is a magic shop as well. You can mention it in the source. The manual also add that when players are not moving, it will automatically zoom out. You can include that as well.

  Done.

• You can level up buildings and change the rewards as well according to the source. You can mention it as well.

  Done.

• The summons are themed after classical elements, modern machinery and multiple world mythologies - Should be moved to the development section instead.

  Done.

• You can replenish SP with SP Drink as well.

  I did say that you could purchase regenerative drinks.... I've made it clearer in the text.

• The music changes during the Special Moves, and during the period that the music plays, the entire party is granted buffs. - Is that really the music that made the entire party to grant buffs?

  I've adjusted it, but didn't want to remove the music cue. It stands as a feature of gameplay as well as an aesthetic element.

• The main challenge for the team was making Bravely Default a traditional RPG without overloading it with nostalgic elements. Many of the team were fans of both Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, and the features that were included were chosen so they would both evoke nostalgia for series veterans and be appreciated by newcomers. - A bit contradicting. You don't want to overload it with nostalgic elements, then the next sentence talks about they add a lot of nostalgic elements.

  Fixed.

• The concept of the Notebook of D - The gameplay section never mentions what this is.

  Fixed.

• During the latest stages of the game's development - "last" instead of "latest"

  Done.

• "Abilink" option which allowed players to borrow each other's job levels - Not mention in the gameplay section in that section as well.

  Fixed.

• So the music would fit onto the 3DS' limited storage space without losing too much of its quality, Revo's recording sessions were closely linked with the creation of the game's sound source. - Rephrase it to " Revo's recording sessions were closely linked with the creation of the game's sound source, so the music would fit onto the 3DS' limited storage space without losing too much of its quality"

  Done.

• The subtitle was one of many proposed by the team, and Asano decided upon after it provided the official name for Airy - Needs to be rephrased. A bit confusing.

  Fixed, I think.

• Downloadable content in the form of additional character costumes were made available both through promotional codes and post-release content - wikilink downloadable content.

  Done.

• At the 2013 Game Developers Conference, gaming site Siliconera stated that "multiple trusted sources" had confirmed that a localization was in progress - Don't think reports like these are needed. They do not add any actual information.

  Done.

• The release section is very neat. Well done.

  Thanks.

• Would be great if you can add a topic sentence for each paragraph in the reception section.

  Done. And on a small note, it's interesting how some reviews asked me to add a topic sentence, while others asked me to remove it. To each their own.

• Would be great if the sentence pattern in the reception section has more variations. This pattern: "_(Reviewer)_ found the _(Aspect)_ _(adjective)_" was used seven times in the first paragraph.

  I did my best, but it's difficult to create variety for something like a reception second.

• He also positively noted the social features, particularly the reconstruction of Norende. - did he mention why?

  Did my best.

• It later won GameSpot's Game of the Year 2014 award - 3DS Game of the Year 2014, not simply GOTY

  Done.

• It was ranked by both GameSpot and IGN as one of the best games on the 3DS in 2014 and 2013 respectively - Rephrase it to "It was ranked by both IGN and GameSpot as one of the best games on the 3DS in 2013 and 2014 respectively"

  Done.

Overall

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "

   clear and concise", without copyvios

   , or spelling and grammar errors:

   B.

   list

   :

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an

   appropriate reference section

   :

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B.

   Focused

   :

4. Is it
   neutral
   ?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are

   copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content

   :

   B. Images are provided if possible and are

   suitable captions

   :

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

@

AdrianGamer: Done my best with all the points you raised. And you don't need to tell me about being ill. We've all had it here on an off for around two months. --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:13, 29 March 2016 (UTC)[reply

]

With all the issues fixed, the article is good to go!

talk) 08:18, 29 March 2016 (UTC)[reply

]