Talk:Gay Witch Hunt/GA1

This generally looks good, but some prose issues. Please go through the ENTIRE article, as the following are only samples:

• "The Office—the show's 30th episode overall." – "The Office, and the show's 30th episode overall."
• ""Gay Witch Hunt" did fairly well as far as ratings go." – "as far as ratings go" needs to go
• "Critics seemed to generally enjoy "Gay Witch Hunt"." – ""Gay Witch Hunt" generally received praise from critics."

Went through the article a few times, this is what I found: [1] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 14:15, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

A few more prose points:

• "In the episode Michael discovers " → "In the episode, Michael discovers "
• The term "ratings" is not explained. Nielson Ratings needs to be mentioned (and linked) somewhere, just like other The Office episode articles of Good Article or higher quality.
• "Gay Witch Hunt" did fairly ratings-wise." can still be improved – read it over and over again, and it won't always flow well. Check out how other The Office episode articles of Good Article or higher quality do it.
• "9 p.m." → "9:00 p.m."
• For numerical ranges like "18-49 and 24-54 ", use en dashes per
  WP:DASH
• "of Cinemablend.com, stated " – does not need to be italicized because it does not meet the criteria found at
  MOS:TITLE

Alright, I've fixed all those problems, except the dashes. From what I see it looks like those numbers already use the en dashes. Am I not seeing something? --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 18:32, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Regular dash is like this: -; en dash is this: –; em dash is this: —. They increase in length.

talk) 18:44, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply

]

Well looking at the article, it appears that the dashes between the ages are en dashes. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 18:52, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Yep, it appears that they have now been converted. A few more points:

• "and #1 among" – "and number one among" - usually, spell things out unless there's a good reason not to. Also, "second" is spelt out, so this especially should be.
• "since "Dwight's Speech, and" – missing a double quote
• "Steve West, of Cinemablend.com, stated that" – completely unnecessary commas.

Please check the article throughout for similar issues as the ones I have raised above.

Are there any updates?

talk) 05:35, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply

]

Here are the changes I've made, tell me what you think: [2] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:14, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

• The episode list in the infobox is center-aligned when it should be left-aligned.
• "It is revealed, that after their kiss" → "It is revealed, that after their kiss" – unnecessary comma
• "Pam got decided" → "Pam decided"
• Why does the tense change from past to present, starting from "Roy vows to win Pam back."?
• "Sales Representative" → "sales representative"

This is all from the first section. Please check the article again, and then I will check back on the progress. Cheers!

I've fixed the episode list and have made some minor prose edits. Expect more within the next few days. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:12, 6 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Keep me updated, and let me know when I should check the article again.

talk) 20:20, 6 July 2008 (UTC)[reply

]

More changes: [3] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 17:11, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

• "notoriety."" → "notoriety"." – move the period out because if you read "loved Oscar's self-deprecating reaction to his newfound notoriety." it is not a full sentence, per
  WP:PUNC
• "his job"," → "his job,"" – in this case, it is a full sentence

Done --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 17:27, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, excellent work once again

talk) 17:29, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply

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