Talk:It's My Birthday/GA1

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Zmbro (talk · contribs) 19:47, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Zmbro Surprised to see this pending, as you had initially said that "ITAKY" would be reviewed first. But it's not bad at all, I'm fine with either order! --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:08, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Decided to just do it now. Prepare to see comments shortly. – zmbro _(talk) 20:10, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

• Infobox is good
  • Ta
• Is "who is signed to Interscope Records through will.i.am's imprint." that important to be in the lead?
  • No actually
• "The song was recorded in 2014 and released as a single in Australia on May 27, 2014, though was originally slated to be titled "Birthday"." – how do these two things relate to each other in any way?
  • Removed original title as it doesn't need to be mentioned
• "As will.i.am explained in July," – is this needed?

• You can make "it is about celebrating every day as if it's his birthday." into something like "The song is about it is about celebrating every day as if your birthday."  Done

• "the soundtrack of 1994" → "the soundtrack of the 1994"  Done

• Along with this, "samples of Jamaican track" → "samples of the Jamaican track"  Done

• "will.i.am and Wise performed the song on Britain's Got Talent (series 8) in May 2014." should be "eighth season of Britain's Got Talent"  Done

Background and composition

• lowercase "the" in "the Jackson 5" (see
  MOS:THEMUSIC
  )  Done
• "local concert" → where was "local"; it can pass without local
  • Removed local as the ref doesn't say where exactly; can pass as just a concert I think?
• "Following on from him being taken under will.i.am's wing," → reads strangely to me. Why not "After developing his musical skills with will.i.am as his protégé, the two recorded "It's My Birthday" in 2014; the song has subsequently become what Wise is best known for."  Done
• "soundtrack of 1994" – add the; same as above  Done
• "early track of his and will.i.am" → "early track of his, with will.i.am"  Done
• "The song samples" → "The song contain an additional sample of"  Done

Release and reception

• Is there a reason it was retitled?
  • Not that I have been able to find
• "On July 6, it was released as a single in the United Kingdom, as previously announced by will.i.am." – part after comma is unnecessary. Just combine with previous sentence: "...on June 24, 2014,[12] and released as a single in the United Kingdom on July 6."  Done
• Comment: Damn RouteBot's review was harsh!
  • Haha true but
    WP:NPV

Music video

• "In the video, will.i.am remakes popular Vine and YouTube videos, with Wise appearing too and Claymation being used." → "The video, which utilizes claymation, features both will.i.am and Wise."  Done
• Overall the word 'video' is used too much
  • Probably an okay amount now with your edit requests
• "The scenes of the music video include" – pronouns: "Its scenes include..."  Done
• ", and will.i.am poses as Jesus in one scene of the video" this whole thing can easily be removed and put in the earlier sentence as "will.i.am posing as a priest and as Jesus."  Done
• "appear in the music video" again you don't have to say 'video' every sentence; "also appear"  Done

Commercial performance

• lowercase the Black Eyed Peas per
  MOS:THEMUSIC
   Done
• "it performed well by peaking at number four" → "it performed well, peaking at number four"  Done
• ""It's My Birthday" performed worst in France," → "It performed the worst in France,"  Done

Live performances

• "the performance had been confirmed by UTV one week prior" is this needed? If so it shouldn't be in the same sentence as "This marked will.i.am's debut appearance on Britain's Got Talent"  Done
• "whole night"." → period inside quote  Done
• lowercase the Roots per
  MOS:THEMUSIC
   Done
• "It was performed by will.i.am and Wise" totally unnecessary since the past two sentences; combine with previous: "accompanied by the Roots, and again at the first ever..."  Done

Credits and personnel

• Good

Charts and certifications

• Good

Release history

• Good

References

• AllMusic shouldn't be italicized  Done
• Official Charts Company shouldn't be italicized (ref 22)  Done

Final thoughts

• Rest looks good. Should be a GA in no time. Great job on this! – zmbro _(talk) 20:32, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks a ton, will respond to everything above! --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:40, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • Zmbro Done, can this be passed now? --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:59, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Yep. I'll gladly ✓ Pass – zmbro _(talk) 04:01, 12 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]