Talk:Johnny Peirson/GA1

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 22:19, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Shall review this article for the

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (

   lists

   ):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (

   reliable sources): c (OR

   ):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (

   focused

   ):

4. It follows the
   neutral point of view
   policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have

   suitable captions

   ):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• "serving in that role for over two decades." - more than

• Changed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Wikilink university hockey to College ice hockey

• Linked. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Boston Bruins doesn't need to be wikilinked twice in the lead

• Fixed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

• "After his stint in the military, Peirson was accepted into McGill University in 1945.[2] There, he played one season for the McGill Redmen." - maybe merge these two sentences together?

• Merged. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• "It turned out to be McGill's final Queen's Cup for over 60 years" - more than

• Changed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Wikilink the term points to Point (ice hockey)

• Linked.—Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Minor leagues

• "who was keen to earn a bit of extra money for his education" - text in bold is informal

• Didn't want to close paraphrase with "some money". Changed it to "some extra money" – hope that's alright. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• NHL should be spelt out in full on the first mention and the acronyms put in parentheses

• I already did that in the lead. Should it be done again in the main section? —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• I would advise that MWright96 (talk) 13:46, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 16:05, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Boston Bruins (1947–1958)

• "His legs were described as having "sort of disappeared" - described by whom?

• Ref 4 (by McGill) quotes it as: Peirson retired in 1958, because his "legs sort of disappeared." It does not attribute the description to him. I Googled the exact quotation but this is the only source that mentions it. —Bloom6132 (talk) 11:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• @MWright96: I've reworded it to have the exact quote (i.e. removing "were described as having"). —Bloom6132 (talk) 16:05, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Post-playing career

• "The pair would work together in that capacity for 18 years. They notably covered the first four games of the Summit Series for American viewers." - perhaps merge these two sentences together

• Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

• "Peirson married Barbara Ann (Hunt) around 1951. They remained married for 70 years until his death." - these two sentences could possibly be merged together and shortened accordingly

• Merged. Not sure if I shortened it enough – feel free to suggest a better wording. —Bloom6132 (talk) 11:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Career statstics

• "Source: [1][2][6]" - should be Sources

• Fixed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References

• Reference 8 should mention it comes from NewspaperArchives.com

• Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Reference 13 is missing the page number stating the fact of Pierson's 1950 Canadian Open result

• Added. —Bloom6132 (talk) 11:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 08:53, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: thanks very much for the review! I hope I've addressed your comments satisfactorily. —Bloom6132 (talk) 11:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Bloom6132: Now promoting to GA class MWright96 (talk) 16:48, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]