Talk:Manta (SeaWorld Orlando)/GA1

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:14, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments this is far too close to being an advert for the ride for me.

• Page title needs to be in italics.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Image caption "Manta water effect" what does that mean, "effect'?

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "on a soaring, gliding journey" reads like an advert.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Lead is a little short. We have
  WP:LEAD
  to help give advice here.

I've extended it a bit. Is this sufficient? Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Need to be careful, you've taken a lot of direct quotes, is it all really necessary?

I've reduced the quotes down to a single phrase. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• In the infobox you have "3,359" but "1500". Be consistent throughout with the commas.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "is intended to be much more than a roller coaster" advert.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "The experience begins" advert.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "allow guests to observe the animals" advert.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Manta's rails, supports, and track are filled with sand to reduce noise and to fit the theme of a manta ray gliding silently through the water" advert (and inconsistent use of italics).

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Image captions that aren't complete sentences should not have full stops.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Throughout, when referring to the ride, it should be Mantra not Mantra.

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Mitch Hawker's Best Roller Coaster Poll (Steel)" is referenced to an award about "Steel Roller Coaster Poll" and I'm not even sure about the reliability of that website.

I've tweaked the title of the poll. As to the reliability, it has been cited by many reliable sources including the

other stuff exists" shouldn't really be used as a reason, two featured articles (SheiKra and Millennium Force) as well as many of the GA-Class roller coaster articles also display the results of this poll. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply

]

Fixed. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GAN criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   Could use a better lead and read less like an advert.

   B.

   lists

   :

   As noted above, several MOS issues.

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an

   appropriate reference section

   :

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B.

   Focused

   :

4. Is it
   neutral
   ?

   Fair representation without bias:

   As above, concerns over the fact that some of it reads like the brochure, or maybe an adaptation of the website.

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are

   copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content

   :

   B. Images are provided if possible and are

   suitable captions

   :

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

On hold, pending those issues noted above. The most troubling are the neutral tone/borderline advert issues. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:26, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Firstly, thanks for the review. Secondly, I believe I have resolved your concerns. If there are any other advert concerns, please highlight them so that I can address them. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome, all good for me. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:22, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]