Talk:PinkPantheress/GA1

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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 01:06, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

here
for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (
    lists
    )    :
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to
    reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism
    ):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the
    neutral point of view
    policy    .
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have
    suitable captions
    )    :

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Happy to discuss, or be challenged on, any of my review comments. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:06, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • Copyvio Check - I reviewed the top matches from Earwig's Copyvio Detector. No concerns. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:13, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Images - CC. Positioning and captions are OK. Consider adding alt text.
 Added alt text. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

  • "statistic professor" - I only see "academic in the cited source, not the field of study. The Face source can be used for this.
  • "She has one older brother, who works as an audio engineer." - not verified by cited source. The Face source can be used for this.
  • "When she was five years old" - not verified by cited source. The Face source can be used for this.
Was hesitant to put The Face source at the end of each of these per
WP:REPCITE. Obviously not a policy, but it still seems redundant to keep repeating the same citation as opposed to just leaving it at the end of the final sentence that supports all of those things. benǝʇᴉɯ 14:44, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply
]
There is an argument that the current version passes
WP:CITEBUNDLE. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:57, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply
]

Career

  • Second paragraph has two sentences starting withe "Her" followed by two sentences starting with "She". I suggest copyediting this.
I assume you're saying to specify who it is I'm talking about, right? benǝʇᴉɯ 14:44, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
If so,  done. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
It was about the repetition at the start of sentences, but wasn't too bad. OK now, even with the "She" starting consecutive sentences. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:57, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Artistry

  • "topline writing" - I didn't know what this meant; maybe add an explanation in text or in a footnote to explain it?
Normally I would just wikilink "topline writing", but it has no article on here. I can include a footnote, since I also was unaware of what topline writing was prior to seeing her discuss it. benǝʇᴉɯ 14:44, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Never mind, I can just wikilink Songwriter#Top-liners. D'oh!  Just did that. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • ""a form of D'n'B that's acceptable to listen to at home" - add the source directly after this quote; also make it clear which source(s) the shorter quotes come from.
 Done. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Move ref 50 to directly after "signature of [PinkPantheress's] work"
 Done. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Move ref 42 to directly after "sweet but unsettling"
 Done. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Discography

  • Looks fine.

Sources

  • Seem appropriate, and no issues found with verification except as mentioned above. There are a couple of places where references can be ordered numerically, e.g. "[9][7]", "[40][1][46]"
 Ordered refs. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

  • Add something into the main body about the subject being a producer, to avoid having to use a citation in the infobox.
Better? benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • The link to the official site gives me a dodgy pop-up about winning phones. Is this still the right url?
I think the dodgy pop-up is there on purpose as a joke. If I had to guess, it's a part of the early 2000s gimmick. Also, if you noticed, clicking "OK" doesn't actually do anything, and it says "before we give it away to someone else more grateful." benǝʇᴉɯ 14:44, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
You're braver than me! BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:57, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lead is quite short. I'd suggest adding a brief summary of the Artistry section, and, in particular, something about genres.
Better? benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

There are some duplicated links, i.e. UK Singles Chart, Paramore, Green Day, dance/dance music. I think all of these can be delinked after the first instance in the body, per

MOS:DUPLINK
.

 Done. benǝʇᴉɯ 15:20, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your work on the article,

WP:BLPPRIVACY. I amended year of birth in the article per The Guardian source, which hopefully you're happy with, given that it had been changed after your earlier edits. I think the article only needs tweaks to meet GA standards, but I'll have another look after reviewing your responses. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 11:44, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply
]

Thank you for fixing the birth year! benǝʇᴉɯ 14:44, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Just The Face citation issue pending. Thanks for making the amendments, Benmite. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:57, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@BennyOnTheLoose: Took care of that. Thanks so much for doing this review, BTW! benǝʇᴉɯ 19:34, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks again for your efforts, @Benmite:. I'm satisfied that this meets the GA criteria now, so am passing it. Well done! Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:07, 1 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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