Talk:Sinking Creek Raid/GA1

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Reviewer:

• • Thank you for looking at this. I may be slow to respond during the week, but I will try to get some done during my lunch hour. TwoScars (talk) 18:22, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• Section 1;
  • army's commander was replaced by General Jacob Dolson Cox; Who was the previous commander? Any reason for the change? or it is general?
    • Fixed. No reads "During September 1862, the Union army was forced to retreat from Western Virginia (the Kanawha River Valley) to Ohio by the Confederate army. This retreat was "embarrassing to the government". The army's commander, Colonel Joseph Andrew Jackson Lightburn, was replaced by General Jacob Dolson Cox, who reorganized the troops. During late October, Cox and the troops advanced to the Kanawha River Valley against no resistance. They made winter quarters in Charleston, as it was easier to be resupplied because of the river. TwoScars (talk) 18:22, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • where it was easier to be resupplied -> as it was easier to be resupplied
    • Fixed - see above TwoScars (talk) 18:22, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • November 23, 1862; just November 23. Per
    MOS:DATEVAR
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 18:22, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link George Crook
    • Linked TwoScars (talk) 18:22, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Prefix Crook's rank in the quote box.
    • What does that mean? His order did not list his rank, it just said "George Crook, Commanding Kanawha Division". Insert [Brigadier General] into the quote box?
  • Abbreviate units from second mention. For example, 2 miles (3.2 km), use |abbr=on
    • Will get back to this tomorrow. All miles mentioned after the quote box should be abbreviated?? That seems unprofessional to abbreviate anything in an encyclopedia. TwoScars (talk) 18:22, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    • Fixed miles-mi TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

• Section 1.1;
  • toward Summersville -> towards Summersville
    • Changed TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • less-traveled roads -> less-explored roads
    • Changed TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • to conceal their movement -> to remain concealed
    • Made change TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Abbreviate 60 miles (96.6 km), 20 miles (32.2 km)
    • Already fixed TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • A full stop (.) after the first sentence in the third para is missing.
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • where a snow storm was occurring -> where there was a snow storm
    • Made change TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• Section 2;
  • it encountered four rebel scouts—and captured; an em dash here is unnecessary, change it into general prose.
    • Fixed. TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • abbreviate 2 miles (3.2 km), 0.5 miles (0.8 km)
    • Already fixed. TwoScars (talk) 18:00, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • on November 26, 1862; just November 26
    • Fixed. TwoScars (talk)

More to come. Regards,

talk • mail) 14:51, 4 January 2017 (UTC)[reply

]

• Section 3; All good
• Section 3.1;
  • home camp (Camp Piatt); just "home camp" is enough because it is already mentioned in the previous paras the Piatt was their home base.
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • 4:00 PM -> 04:00 pm, per
    MOS:TIME
    .
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • It reached Summerville (home camp for Lane's infantry) after noon -> It reached Summerville (home camp for Lane's infantry) by afternoon
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • 7 PM -> 07:00 pm
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • winter camp (Camp Piatt); earlier it is mentioned that Piatt is their home camp, here it is said as winter camp? Are they both same? If so specify clearly.
    • Fixed to home camp TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• Section 3.2;
  • 2nd lieutenant Davidson; capitalize "l" as it is used a prefix
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• Lead;
  • West Virginia was linked twice in the first para
    • Unlinked second one TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lieutenant Jeremiah Davidson; 2nd Lieutenant, I think per the body
    • Added 2nd TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• A dup link of Kanawha River in the first section exists
  • • Removed 2nd link TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• Images;
  • All are licensed well
  • File:WHPowell.png; the caption is to be Brig. Gen. W. H. Powell, or its equivalent.
    • Fixed TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• Suggest adding Davidson to the infobox in the leaders list
  • Added TwoScars (talk) 16:49, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
• No dab links found and external links are good.
• 32% violation detected, but most of this is due to the quotes. No worries.

Regards,

talk • mail) 23:54, 6 January 2017 (UTC)[reply

]

I believe I am all caught up except the issue with the quote box. Right now, the box has Crook's order exactly as he made it, including identifying Colonel Lane as "P.H. Lane" instead of "P.P. Lane". It is also signed the same way as the order, without Crook's rank. Do you still believe it should be changed? TwoScars (talk) 17:35, 10 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

It looks good, no need to change. Regards,

talk • mail) 03:56, 11 January 2017 (UTC)[reply

]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (

   lists

   ):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (

   reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism

   ):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Regards,

   talk • mail) 03:56, 11 January 2017 (UTC)[reply

   ]