Talk:Snow on the Beach/GA1

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GA Review

Passed.
Ippantekina (talk) 07:04, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer:

Ippantekina (talk · contribs) 03:34, 21 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]


Happy to take up this review as I'm not a main contributor of this article. Will try to be as neutral as I can.

Ippantekina (talk) 03:34, 21 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

Hey @
Ippantekina! I believe all comments are addressed and you can review the edits I made. Gained (talk) 08:38, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

On first glance the article is in good shape. This first review will focus on the prose.

Lead

  • "Snow on the Beach" is a song by the American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift featuring the American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey somehow clunky.. I suggest something like: ""Snow on the Beach" is a song from the American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's tenth studio album, Midnights (2022). The song features the American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey." Repharsed.
  • a dream pop tune featuring a midtempo, wintery production "wintery" is POV Removed.
  • a version featuring "More Lana Del Rey", with additional vocals from the artist pretty self-explanatory Removed.
  • on the United States' Billboard Hot 100 "US Billboard Hot 100" for concision Implemented.

Background

  • and that it features the American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey, who Swift had previously named as one of her favorite music artists[3][7] and the most influential artist in pop.[8] should be "whom", also the later part is quite unnecessary.. ("the most influential artist in pop") Implemented "whom" and removed the latter.

Music and lyrics

—

Ippantekina (talk) 04:51, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

Release

  • Del Rey acted as more of a background vocalist for Swift this is not a fact but rather an opinion; consider rephrasing it i.e. "Some publications regarded Del Rey's role on the track as a background vocalist and found her vocals indistinguishable from Swift's" Rephrased.
  • I think I saw a video where Del Rey said something like "If it ain't broke, don't fix it", justifying Swift's original version. Might be helpful to add to this section if we have a source. Doing Done. Oh! That one interview with Harper Bazzar. Let me see if I could find something.
  • on May 26 add the year (2023) Done.
  • At three minutes and fifty seconds long change it to "3 minutes and 50 seconds" to be consistent with the "Music and lyrics" section Implemented.

Commercial performance

  • Globally, "Snow on the Beach" received over 15.03 million streams on Spotify in its first 24 hours, where it became the third-most streamed song that day, behind fellow Midnights tracks "Anti-Hero" and "Lavender Haze" "In its first day of release, "Snow on the Beach" received over 15.03 million streams on Spotify globally, becoming the day's third-most streamed song behind..." Done.
  • the first and only artist to occupy the entire top 10 of the Hot 100 I would add "at the same time" Implemented.
  • It also marked Del Rey's first top five entry on the chart and her second top 10 entry after "Summertime Sadness" (2012) "top-five" and "top-10" (add the hyphen) Done.
  • reached the top ten "top 10" for consistency Done.
  • received certifications from Australia "in Australia" Done.
  • the UK "the United Kingdom" (consistency with "the United States") Done.

Critical reception

  • was generally praised for its lyrics and the production Removed.
  • Ruggieri of USA Today not needed as we already introduced her publication before Removed.
  • a "gorgeous ballad." "gorgeous ballad". (quotation mark before full stop per
    MOS:"
    ) Done.
  • works by her peers "by Swift's peers"? Rephrased.
  • "sonically adventurous." "sonically adventurous". ditto Done.
  • Spanos of Rolling Stone ditto Done.
  • From this section, it seems that this song received a mixed reaction rather than a generally positive one. Consider changing this for the lead and first paragraph. Done.

References

  • Some ref errors need to be fixed Done.
  • Set The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times as |url-access=limited instead of |subscription= Done.
  • Set all Rolling Stone sources to |url-access=limited as well Done.
  • Please ensure to link all of the websites/newspapers/magazines/publishers in the references as per
    WP:OVERLINK
    Implemented.

This concludes my first round for this GAN. Overall the article is in decent shape. Will have a second read-through as well as a spotcheck round to ensure

Ippantekina (talk) 09:08, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

@
MOS:CONFORMTITLE. You can check all of those out as well as the edits I made like before. Gained (talk) 10:57, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]
Kudos for going the extra mile with the ref-title formats!
Ippantekina (talk) 04:41, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]
Thanks! :) Gained (talk) 05:30, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks

The prose is fine, sources are properly formatted, but please remove the quotation marks (") and replace them with apostrophes (') in the ref titles (Template:Cite web#Title). One last criterion is the verifiability of the sources. Some random spotchecks:

  • "Snow on the Beach" is a dream pop tune that runs for 4 minutes and 16 seconds.[9][10] checkY
  • Del Rey's vocals on the track are minimal and harmonize with Swift's.[14] checkY
  • Wohlmacher wrote that the track incorporates classical elements and thought it resembles the work of the American composers Philip Glass and Steve Reich.[15] checkY
  • It is also where she references Janet Jackson and her song "All for You" (2001): "Now I'm all for you like Janet/ Can this be a real thing, can it?".[22] checkY the Today source only cites the first lyric Added another source.
  • which surprised fans that expected a duet.[23] checkY
  • At three minutes and fifty seconds, Del Rey sings the entire second verse and chorus.[31][32] checkY the source only says "second verse" and not "chorus". Also I missed a grammar point here: "The "More Lana" version is 3 minutes and 50 seconds, and on it, Del Rey sings..." Implemented.
  • It also marked Del Rey's first top five entry on the chart and her second top-10 entry after "Summertime Sadness" (2012).[37] checkY
  • After the release of The Til Dawn Edition of Midnights, "Snow on the Beach" re-entered the Hot 100 at number 30.[39] ☒N kind of
    WP:OR
    because the source does not mention the Til Dawn Edition Replaced source.
  • Jon Caramanica for The New York Times commended Del Rey's vocals on the track, but believed that Swift's vocals were too "cheery" for the track to ascend ☒N we're missing the ref here. Added source.
  • Writing for The Guardian, Alexis Petridis praised the restrained collaboration but thought it was far from a "grandstanding summit" between them.[66] checkY reading the Petridis review, I find his comment somehow more positive than mixed; he actually said it was "beautifully done" and that the "restrained" vocals were beautiful Rephrased.

Overall the prose appears to be verifiable by sources despite a few misses. Happy to give the article a pass once all is addressed :)

Ippantekina (talk) 04:41, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]

@
Ippantekina. I believe it's all done! Gained (talk) 05:29, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]
Great work! Passing ;)
Ippantekina (talk) 07:04, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply
]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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