Talk:Systematic Chaos/GA1

Lots of solid info in the article, just needs some rearranging:

• The lead mentions a few things that don't appear in the rest of the article, such as the release dates, recording dates and location, special edition info and some of the chart info. The last two would fit well in a 'Promotion and release' section, along with the tour information, before 'Reception'. And please describe the special edition a little more if you can.
• I understand it's going to be difficult to tell a story with the 'Background' section because many events overlap, but the record label situation should be the first item mentioned, as the band's disillusionment with WB probably existed before they started work on the album. Then talk about either the production or the writing (whichever came first), splitting it into two paragraphs. Then wrap it up with the 'Title' section...and you can probably drop the sub-headings within 'Background'.
• The 'Reception' section dives into a collection of quotes from critics. Expand and categorize if you can (see the opening sentences of each paragraph from Lions (album) for an example of how I did it).
• 'References' and 'Notes' need to be separate sections, with 'Notes' preceding 'References'.
• This isn't a big deal, but you can remove the Composer column from the track listing and write "All music composed by Dream Theater." at the top of the section.

• Infobox: You can remove the Hugh Syme mention beneath the album cover; it's mentioned in the credits.
• Infobox: Drop the flags and the American release date; only the first date should be included, as the details will be mentioned in the text.
• Infobox: Write out the recording date months, replace the hyphen with an en dash, replace the break with "at"
• Infobox: Unless Portnoy and Petrucci produced tracks separately, replace the break with "and"
• Infobox: Don't include compilations in the chronology
• Personnel: don't capitalize forms of participation (except Continuum, of course)
• Personnel: format the production entries the same way as the DT members, and put them under a 'Production' sub-heading

There are some spelling and grammar issues that I'll take care of later.

Leave a note on my talk page when you're done or to discuss further. —

I fixed your comments, although I did throw the record label info into the "Release and production" section. The band wasn't happy with their old label for a while now, but they did not sign with Roadrunner until after this album was written and recorded. I think it fits in there well enough, because after all the label's job is Releasing and promoting the album. Blackngold29 22:02, 29 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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