Talk:Unforgiven (2007)
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talk) 19:46, 26 November 2007 (UTC)
]
What the hell is this? This article should be deleted. 24.154.208.178 03:44, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
Feedback
Here's two things I noticed right off the bat:
- Not all of the citations are in numerical order.
- In the event section, all the paragraphs begin with "The (number) match"... . It needs to have some variety.
I'll continue copy editing, and mention here any bigger problems I notice. Nikki311 19:16, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
GA Review
This review is
transcluded from Talk:Unforgiven (2007)/GA1
. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
GA Review by
X
- Lead
- Per new standards, wikilinking dates is not mandatory. (Just a suggestion)
- The main match on the SmackDown brand was The Undertaker versus Mark Henry, which Undertaker won by pinfall after executing a Last Ride. - this reads like a background lead, as if you were introducing the BG in the lead, it should just say "the main event" since that paragraph is about the event.
- The predominant match on the Raw brand was John Cena versus Randy Orton for the WWE Championship, which Orton won after Cena was disqualified. - why was Cena disqualified? Since the other results say with what process the person won, why doesn't this?
- Just a suggestion, add a paragraph about the background and aftermath in the lead (as in SummerSlam (2007).
- It isn't necessary for GA, but if we're going towards FA, it's definitely going to help. -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- It isn't necessary for GA, but if we're going towards FA, it's definitely going to help. --
Done -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Background
Their rivalry started in early 2006 when Henry cost Undertaker a match for the World Heavyweight Championship against Kurt Angle. - cost? Poor word choice, should be elaborated more, how did he "cost" 'Taker the match?
- On the May 11, 2007 edition of SmackDown, Henry, who made his return from an injury he sustained in 2006, assaulted The Undertaker after Undertaker had retained the World Heavyweight Championship against Batista in a Steel Cage match. - Henry sustained his injury in "early, mid, or late 2006?"
- Following the assault, Edge cashed in his Money in the Bank title shot to defeat Undertaker and win the World Heavyweight Championship. - Im pretty sure its a "contract", that should be used instead of "title shot."
- In August, vignettes started appearing about Undertaker's return and his match with Henry at Unforgiven. - im pretty sure "airing" is meant here?
- The following night on Raw, Orton demanded a rematch for the title, but his request was declined by Raw General Manager William Regal. - I find stating Raw in the same sentence twice when referring to the GM redundant.
- The following week, Orton was granted a title rematch against Cena at Unforgiven.[17] - who granted him the match?
- That isn't notable. -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- That isn't notable. --
- Later that same night, Punk teamed up with Stevie Richards in the main event against Burke and Kevin Thorn. Punk and Richards won the match. - this can be made into one sentence.
- During this time, wasnt SmackDown referred to as SmackDown! or Friday Night SmackDown!?
- Nope, I believe it lost the "!" before this event. -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Nope, I believe it lost the "!" before this event. --
- The dates need consistency, in one you link the entire date (MM-DD-YYYY) in others you just link (MM--DD), either remain consistent or take the suggestion I mentioned earlier.
Done -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Event
- Carlito took advantage of the situation as he could use any weapon. - I'm pretty sure he could also do other actions, no?
- Yes, but that goes without saying. -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Yes, but that goes without saying. --
- When Phoenix had Candice on her shoulders, Candice reversed the move and pinned Phoenix with a crucifix. - what maneuver was Phoenix about to do?
- Late in the match, Mysterio hit Khali, performed a 619 and had Khali pinned. - this reads real akwardly, hit and performed? Aren't they relatively the same? Also, poor word choice, "had him pinned"? HOw about, "was about to pin him, or on the verge to pin him."
- Batista picked up the champion Khali and delivered him a spinebuster. - remove champion, and him.
- Cena entered the ring with obvious rage and started beating on Orton until Orton struck Cena down. - "obvious" is a WP:NPOVviolation.
- In the end, Undertaker raised Henry high in the air to deliver him a Last Ride. Undertaker then pinned Henry to win the match. - I saw this match, Henry was obviously on the turnbuckle & the Undertaker used that to his advantage and delivered the last ride. That should be noted instead of raised high in the air."
- The on-screen talent table should be made into a collapsible table.
- It's not necessary, and I believe it throws the page off.
Done -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Aftermath
- Cade, Murdoch and Kennedy won the match after Kennedy hit London with a Green Bay Plunge. - hit is not a relative term to describe a wrestling move, "executed, performed, or delivered" are words to describe it.
- On the September 18 edition of ECW, ECW General Manager Armando Estrada announced an "Elimination Chase" to determine the number one contender for the ECW Championship at No Mercy. - Like I said in the BG, remove the second instance of ECW.
- He sent Big Daddy V to the ring to be the final man in the Elimination Chase. - I dont think Estrada really sent him, mayby just introduced him as Dreamer's opponent?
- Finlay attacked Mysterio with the shillelagh - because this is an object, "a" should be used instead of "the"
- Henry was disqualified because The Great Khali interfered and attacked Batista. - replace "because" with "after"
- In the WWE Championship paragraph, I feel that the injury sustained by Cena should be mentioned in the sentence that described the match between Orton and Cena, which will help flow to the announcement made by Mr.McMahon.
Done -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- Per comments above.
- B. MoS compliance:
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Per comment above.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Great article, though issues with prose, until they are addressed will I either pass/fail the article. Good luck in improving the article ;)--X 03:05, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Great article, though issues with prose, until they are addressed will I either pass/fail the article. Good luck in improving the article ;)--
- Pass or Fail:
Done I've completed the review with a few comments. Thanks, -- T.C. 12:23, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]
- Great work, Pass.--X 13:56, 19 July 2008 (UTC)]