Talk:WhiteWater World/GA3

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Reviewer: Wrestlinglover (talk · contribs) 05:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I still plan on reviewing this article. Just some things have come up. Its weird. The exact moment I planned to start the review I see this page has been deleted.--WillC 05:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B.

   lists

   :

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A.

   References to sources

   :

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it
   neutral
   ?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have

   fair use rationales

   :

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with

   suitable captions

   :

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

   Congrats, I pass this article.--WillC 08:18, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Lead

• Fine--WillC 08:18, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Development

• "During 2004, Macquarie Leisure, since renamed Ardent Leisure, began planning a water park to be located next to the company's existing Dreamworld theme park. Dreamworld's Chief Executive Officer, Stephen Gregg, and General Manager of Special Projects, Bob Tan, visited water parks around the world to discover the most thrilling and cutting-edge water rides available." - Okay, its a bit wordy and pausing. I say change to "In 2004, Macquarie Leisure began planning a water park to be located next to the company's existing Dreamworld theme park. Dreamworld's Chief Executive Officer Stephen Gregg and General Manager of Special Projects Bob Tan visited water parks around the world to discover the most thrilling and cutting-edge water rides available. Later Tan was quoted saying "...the drawing board for the new park was a restaurant napkin in a little cafe in the US"."--WillC 07:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "On 28 November 2005, Macquarie Leisure announced it would invest $56 million on the project. The announcement referred to the Dreamworld Water Park. Construction began shortly after the announcement." - Merge sentences. "On 28 November 2005, Macquarie Leisure announced it would invest $56 million on the Dreamworld Water Park project, with construction commencing shortly there-after."--WillC 07:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• I can't find a reason in
  Wikipedia:MOSTEXT for the rides to be in italics. Mind explaining the reasoning?--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply
  ]
• "After six months of operation Ardent Leisure announced that WhiteWater World attracted 247,360 visitors, producing revenue of $8.7 million and a profit of $4 million." When did Macquarie Leisure rename themselves exactly? If this was before the name change, then use the old name. Include a full sentence that they changed their name. Something along the lines of "In ???, Macquarie Leisure went through a process of a brand change to Ardent Leisure." or however it went.--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Performance

• "In the first 24 days of operation to 31 December 2006, WhiteWater World performed above expectation with approximately 23,000 guests." to "WhiteWater World performed above expectations after opening with approximately 23,000 guests between 8 December and 31 December 2006."--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "The park continued to perform well in subsequent years." It feels incomplete. Adding some figures from following years will solve this.--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've added a statistic to support this and to fill in the 2008 period. Is that better? Themeparkgc  Talk  10:06, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• " which will "...strengthen ride inventory and consumer appeal"." will to would--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think I've resolved all of the items you have brought up to this point. Themeparkgc  Talk  10:06, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Expansion

• "In September 2007, the park added two attractions; a pair of ProSlide Cannon Bowls called The Little Rippers and an events venue called The Shell." Change to a colon, as a semi-colon separates two complete sentences, the second is incomplete.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "The main feature of the application was a 25-metre (82 ft) tower featuring three new water slides; two Mammoth slides and a Tornado Tantrum Alley." Same as above.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "The expansion proposal also featured a lazy river (featuring a "wave channel") and a large water play area." This sentence made me go WTF?. I understand its point but the wave channel comment is just trivia. I say remove it.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "WhiteWater World has not yet proceeded with the expansion, citing the financial crisis of 2007-2010 for the delay." to "The expansion plans have been delayed due to the 2007-2010 financial crisis." - The beginning of the existing one just sounds awkward.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "However its competitor, Wet'n'Wild Water World, entered into an exclusivity agreement with the manufacturer to ensure WhiteWater World did not receive one." - This does not sound neutral in point of view. Is this exactly what happened or is some of this OR, as the source covering it will not open for me?--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think I have fixed the link. It seems to be working for me. Themeparkgc  Talk  21:32, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • I shall check this with the sources today.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • Issue here. The source does not cover the information. Its not neutral. I'd change to "However Warner Village Theme Parks, owner of competitor Wet'n'Wild Water World, attempted to negotiate an exclusivity agreement with the manufacturer." or something along those lines.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        • I've made the alteration to this statement and provided wikilinks for
          Wet'n'Wild Water World. Themeparkgc  Talk  07:45, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply
          ]
• "The Wedgie was the first ride in Australia to feature a trap door release and was marketed as Australia's first looping water slide." This is out of the blew and has no introduction. What is The Wedgie, etc?--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Attractions

• This section is fine prose wise.--WillC 11:52, 11 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Other facilities

• Fine--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

• Fine--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

• They all seem fine. I see a few questionable ones but they look good enough for GA. I figure they've all been checked enough they should pass here.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

External links

• Fine--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Images

• "The slide tower housing The Temple of Huey and the Little Rippers. Some slides interact with Dreamworld's Cyclone roller coaster." This describes what is in said photo. As such the first sentence should not have a period per guidelines. The second is a complete sentence and deserves a period. This needs to be rewrote.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "The BRO, the world's first ProSlide 8-laneOctopus Racer." Same as above--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "Super Tubes Hydrocoaster and The Green Room from the car park." Same issue--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
• "Looking towards WhiteWater World's entrance from the entrance of the adjacent Dreamworld theme park." As well--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've reworded all of these captions. Please let me know what you think. Themeparkgc  Talk  21:43, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • Fixed any issues I had left there.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I shall check the sources later today and finish this review off. Sorry it has taken me so long to complete this. At the time I decided to take it on I had plenty of time, then it all got wrecked. Sorry once again.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Don't worry about it. The 10 days you have taken to complete the review so far is nothing compared to the 4 months this article sat on the GA queue. At least this time I am getting a full detailed review unlike the previous reviews. Thanks Themeparkgc  Talk  21:43, 14 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I try to cover everything. Its what I'd want done to the ones I write.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for the time and effort put in on reviewing this article and for passing it. Kind regards Themeparkgc  Talk  08:23, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

No problem. Thanks for waiting. Good article, you did well.--WillC 08:28, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]