User talk:JohnSawyer

Dear John,

Thank you for your contribution on Prometheus article, but I'd like to inform you a bit that your additions make the plot summary exceeds 700 words. It's now 752 words already. I cannot speak for everyone, but in order for it to maintain good article status, someone is bound to cut some of your additions and some excessive details. I'd like to convince you a bit on changing some of your edits.

"Later, a medical scan reveals that Shaw, despite having had sex with Holloway only ten hours prior, for the first time since the crew was revived from stasis, is pregnant with something that has reached a three-month stage of development."

This paragraph. The key of it is not the sex just ten-hours prior that indicates the impossibility of her pregnancy. It's that she's sterile. ("I can't create life. What does that say about me?") Without mentioning that she's sterile, even if you say that she had sex, ten hours prior, her pregnancy could have been a result of having sex before getting into the stasis. Without closing the hole by saying that she's sterile, the interpretation is left open. And we also have the word count to consider. So I'm going to edit it back into "Later, a medical scan reveals that Shaw, despite being sterile, is pregnant with an alien offspring." Or someone is bound to. I'd like to tell you before hand.

"The team takes the Engineer's head, encased in an exoskeleton-like helmet, back to Prometheus to perform analysis."

In this sentence, I would really suggest you reduce the word count. We can say "The team takes the Engineer's head back to perform analysis." It says the same thing with much less word. The helmet is inconsequential, even with the helmet, they could just split it and do the DNA test anyway. The result is the same. They ran DNA test and discover that it matches humans'.

"Shaw, fearing the worst, uses an automated surgery table to extract and subdue what emerges: a squid-like creature."

This one, the tone is quite dramatic, but Wikipedia is neutral. I'd suggest something like "Shaw, fearing the worst, uses an automated surgery table to extract and subdue the squid-like fetus." It's not exactly the old version, but something of yours with less words. This keeps Shaw's emotion intact while converying the same thing.

"Fifield, who has been mutated by the dark liquid, approaches Prometheus, where he attacks the hangar bay and kills several crew members before he is killed."

The "approaches Prometheus" is a bit redundant. Again, we have word count to consider. It is already implied when he attacks and kills members of the crew that he must be here in person. Burying his action in a modifier clause, a modifier in which you describe a place, will reduce the seeming significance of it too. I would strongly suggests you keep the old version. "Fifield, who has been mutated by the dark liquid, attacks the hangar bay and kills several crew members before he is killed."

"Weyland and a team return to the structure, where David awakens the Engineer."

In this sentence, there's no need to tell that he awakens the Engineer, because in the next sentence, he decapitates Weyland and kills his entire team. So that means it's already clear that he must be awake, alive and kicking by then.

"David speaks to the Engineer, who responds by decapitating him and killing Weyland and his team, except for Shaw, who escapes the spacecraft as the Engineer activates it."

This sentence is not so good from a reader's perspective. It's very long and contains a modifier within a modifier clause. It's not a very good writing. We can just break it up so it's more comfortable to read. And saying "Shaw escapes the spacecraft as the Engineer activates it" has already told readers that she's present, but not killed. We can really do with less word and an easier to read sentence. So I really suggest you keep it the way it was: "David speaks to the Engineer, who responds by decapitating him and killing Weyland and his team. Shaw escapes the spacecraft as the Engineer activates it."