Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Lights Up/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 12 August 2021 [1].


Lights Up

Nominator(s): Ashleyyoursmile (talk) 12:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a song by English singer Harry Styles from his second studio album Fine Line. Critics have commented on the song's sound, arrangement, lyrics, and music video. "Lights Up" also received attention for its release on the National Coming Out Day and the video's imagery. The single became Styles's second top-10 entry in the UK, and attained platinum certifications in several countries. The article has received two peer reviews and was nominated at FAC once. I am thankful to all the reviewers who have provided feedback and helped to improve the prose, sourcing, and MOS issues of the article. Any comments would be appreciated. Ashleyyoursmile (talk) 12:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Support by Aoba47

Addressed comments

I am leaving this up as a placeholder. I have participated in both of the peer reviews for this song. I will likely support this for promotion as I believe all my concerns were already addressed in the last peer review, but I want to make sure that I do another thorough read-through first. Please ping me in a week if I do not come back to this.

Aoba47 (talk) 02:52, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
]

Thank you,
Aoba47
. Looking forward to your comments.
  • This is super nitpick-y, but I think you can make this part, the lyrics are about self-discovery and find him embracing his own identity, somewhat more concise by saying, the lyrics are about self-discovery and him embracing his own identity, instead. I am uncertain about using "find" in the context of lyrics as they do not really "find" things if that makes sense.
  • revised
  • kept it as "sexual orientation" in the lead
  • For this part, admitted that he felt "a lot of pressure" while making his debut album, I would paraphrase the quote. I know this sounds super nitpick-y so apologies in advance, but since you use more insightful and meaningful quotes in the following sentences, I think it would be helpful to paraphrase here to avoid having too many quotes and taking away from the subsequent ones.
  • I have changed to "was stressed out", does that sound better now?
  • I have changed it just "was stressed" as I think "stressed out" is a little too informal, but otherwise, I think it is good.
    Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • This is a part of the sentence: A pop rock record encompassing power pop, folk rock, psychedelic pop, and funk influences, Fine Line turned out to be more experimental than his debut album, according to Vox's Alexa Lee. So don't you think moving it forward would make it sound a bit awkward?
  • That would make it awkward. For some reason, I did not see the beginning of the sentence. Thank you for pointing this out.
    Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • I have a comment about this part,was a comment on Styles's fame. For this kind of phrasing, I have always seen and heard it as a "commentary on". The current word choice makes sense to me, but I still wanted to raise this to your attention to get your opinion.
  • agreed, revised
  • I have added it, but I'm unsure about the flow of the text. Please let me know if it looks good.
  • Thank you for adding this. It looks good to me.
    Aoba47 (talk) 19:56, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
    ]
  • Apologies again for the nitpicks, but for this part, for experimenting with newer styles, I would say "different styles" as I believe they are praising Styles for pursuing different sounds. I think the phrase "newer styles" could be misinterpreted as him literally inventing or playing with newer styles in music in general.
  • changed to "different"
  • Since the more critical reviews have their own paragraph, do you think this should be represented in the lead in some way?
  • added a line "A few criticised the song as forgettable". Do you think "criticised" should be replaced with another word?
  • linked now
  • I believe for this part, said the visual portrayed a more emotional side of Styles, it should be "portrays" as when things are described in the music video, it is in the present tense.
  • changed to present tense, thanks
  • this seems like as an excellent finding. Thank you very much. :) I made a request at the resource exchange.
  • it is available on ProQuest. The article doesn't talk about the song, unfortunately. It's a study on his evolution since debut and also more about the notion of fluid masculinity of boy bands. I have added a very small portion on "gendered fashion" to the discussion of music video.
  • Thank you for addressing this. Looks good to me.
    Aoba47 (talk) 19:52, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
    ]

I hope my above comments are helpful. Apologies again for being super nitpick-y. I think this article is very well-written and engaging and once all my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to support this for promotion. Best of luck with this FAC and have a great weekend!

Aoba47 (talk) 06:44, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
]

  • Aoba47
    , you have helped a lot to develop the article. I cannot thank you enough for that. I have responded to your comments above. Also, the song had a platinum upgrade today, so I changed it accordingly in the lead. But do you think the use of "Platinum" in the lead is becoming too repetitive now?
WP:FAC: Please do not use graphics or templates on FAC nomination pages. Pamzeis (talk) 09:03, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
]
  • Pamzeis, apologies. I wasn't aware of this. I have removed the graphics.

Thank you for addressing all my comments. I support this FAC for promotion based on the prose. Best of luck with the FAC!

Aoba47 (talk) 19:56, 31 July 2021 (UTC)[reply
]

Thank you for the support,
Aoba47
. I appreciate it. :)

Image review

  • Thank you, Nikkimaria. I have now replaced the image.

Support from SNUGGUMS

I just made one minor change here and can safely say I support. All my other concerns were previously addressed during Wikipedia:Peer review/Lights Up/archive2. A job well done! SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 14:29, 1 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you for the support, SNUGGUMS. I appreciate your help with the article. :)

Support from MaranoFan

I will try to give it another read later today, but most probably it should be good to go. :) There's just one concern I noticed right away, that there are 159 usages of "Styles" on the page. So maybe his pronouns could be used in more places if possible. I touched on this in the PR as well. Regards.--NØ 03:14, 2 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you for noticing this. I will try to fix this right away. :)
  • MaranoFan, I have copy-edited it now. Please let me know if it reads better.
Happy to add my support.--NØ 06:46, 2 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the support, MaranoFan. I appreciate you helping me through the process. :)

Source review by Bilorv

All sources are reliable and the formatting is almost flawless—here's the only criticisms I can find (ref numbers as of Special:Permalink/1036701910):

  • good catch, fixed now
  • Shouldn't Uproxx be in italics (ref 11)? It's a website name.
  • you're right, fixed now
  • I have a query here. I'm mostly citing the chart positions from the {{single chart}} template which is auto-generating the titles and publishers for the references. So if you notice, Association of Hungarian Record Companies is already linked on the Hungary reference. Would you rather that I format the citation normally?
  • Ah, I see. Okay, I'm fine with it being left as is then. — Bilorv (talk) 17:03, 4 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks on refs 2, 7, 13, 24, 34, 38, 44, 48, 72, 82, 99, 112, 118.

  • Ref #2 doesn't need to be cited in the "During an interview with Zane Lowe of Apple Music ..." sentence, and the "fun and adventurous" sentence also seems to come from the Lowe/Apple Music source rather than #2.
  • removed now, thanks for pointing out

Very impressive work! — Bilorv (talk) 14:03, 4 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Bilorv, thank you for taking time to do the source review. Much appreciated. :) I have responded above.
Support: excellent-quality and meticulously-formatted sourcing that supports all of the article content as far as spotchecking shows. — Bilorv (talk) 17:03, 4 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the support, Bilorv.

Support from Ojorojo

All of my concerns were addressed during the peer review and I don't see any problems with the subsequent clarifications/changes. This is a high quality article that meets all of the criteria and deserves to be a FA. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:21, 5 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the support, Ojorojo. Really appreciated your help with the article.

Comments from Heartfox

  • "In the UK, the single reached number three on the chart" → specify
    UK Singles Chart
    .
  • done now
  • "and was certified Platinum" → specify British Phonographic Industry. Also link certifications here as it appears before the current link in the next sentence.
  • specified and linked the certifications here, removed it from the later instance
  • "He disliked feeling obligated to create a record to appease the audience" → specify the audience
  • changed it to "the listeners". Please let me know if that's alright.
  • I believe "Rea Mcnamara" should be spelled Rea McNamara
  • fixed now, thanks
  • "Prior to the release of "Lights Up", Styles launched a campaign on World Mental Health Day" → is there a date for this?
  • 10 October, added it now
  • "the song was added to a BBC Radio playlist" → specify BBC Radio 1
  • done now
  • "prodigal return to the pop slipstream" → can this be simplified
  • changed it to "generous return to pop slipstream". Is that okay?
  • The whole sentence feels really wordy to me idk it's hard to understand. If the paragraph is about Styles experimenting with different styles (which the first sentence suggests) then I would refer to Caramanica's quote "Somewhere between '70s soft rock, lite disco and indie pop" in the paragraph instead. Also, the NYT article is not about "the best songs of [the] release week" but "the week's most notable new songs and videos" so the previous sentence shouldn't be citing The New York Times as doing so.
  • Heartfox, would you prefer if the original wording of the quote is retained here? I think the "Somewhere between '70s soft rock, lite disco and indie pop" quote is more appropriate for the music and lyrics section. I have removed NYT from the week's best songs sentence. Please let me know what you think.
  • I don't think the quote goes with the other sentences in the paragraph:
  • "Snapes praised the song's refreshing sound that distinguished Styles from his British male contemporaries and from the "narcotised" synth-pop-dominated sounds of that year"
  • "Time's Raisa Bruner regarding it as an example of his versatility"
  • "The Atlantic's Spencer Koornhaber said the track rendered the type of eerie yet simple listening territory that had seldom been explored since Donovan's "Mellow Yellow"."
  • "O'Connor called it Styles's most self-confident song yet. To explain this viewpoint, she highlighted that Styles's identity often felt lost in the middle of musical tropes on his debut album. Contrastingly, O'Connor argued that "Lights Up" stood out on its own."
  • These all reflect the opening sentence "Some critics commended Styles for experimenting with different styles." Caramanica's quote "a soft-touch re-entry into the pop slipstream. Somewhere between ’70s soft rock, lite disco and indie pop, it doesn’t ask much more of Styles’s voice than a gentle coo, and surrounds it with a plangent sparkle" doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the paragraph, so I would leave it out. Heartfox (talk) 15:46, 6 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Heartfox, thank you for the detailed response. I have a query. Isn't the NYT quote also highlighting his re-entry to pop? So it falls in the rest of the quotes.
  • Was he not doing pop music before? I still don't see how it fits in with the rest of the paragraph about experimenting with different styles aside from "Somewhere between '70s soft rock, lite disco and indie pop." Heartfox (talk) 18:23, 6 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not really, his debut album was a 1970s rock record.
  • "It was Styles's Hot 100 chart appearance following "Sign of the Times" → is there a word missing here?
  • thank you for pointing this, added "second"
  • ref 35 is not url-access=subscription as the article text is readable by clicking the "Show article text (OCR)" button
  • you're right, removed now
  • per
    MOS:CONFORMTITLE
    bullet #4, stuff like "Fine Line" or "Billboard" should be italicized in article titles in citations.
  • done now. Let me know if I've missed out any.
  • I think "Jools Holland" should be as well in ref 52
  • done now, thanks

Heartfox (talk) 21:50, 5 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Heartfox, pinging again. I have revised the NYT quote in the reception and went by Homeostasis07's suggestion below. Let me know what you think, and if you'd be willing to support this. --Viridian Bovary (talk) 18:33, 11 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • I think that works better. Happy to support and congratulations on your hard work with the article! Heartfox (talk) 21:19, 11 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thank you for the support, Heartfox. :)

Support from Homeostasis07

Hi @Viridian Bovary:. This article is in fine shape, save these few minor suggestions.

Writing and production

  • "He said;" → "He said:" or just "He said,"
  • revised

Music and lyrics

  • "Editorials reviews of Paper and Time noted a melancholic edge to the lyrics." → Editorial reviews by Paper and Time noted a melancholic edge to the lyrics.
  • revised

Release and promotion

  • Hilary Hughes of Billboard praised the performance, writing; → Change the ; at the end to a :
  • changed now

Critical reception

  • "Caramanica described "Lights Up" as a generous return to the pop slipstream that played to Styles's strengths, demanding nothing more than a soft coo from his voice surrounded by a melancholy vivacity." → I agree with Heartfox's point above. As it is, the sentence is a bit wordy, and the latter half doesn't really make that much sense, at least to me. I'd consider simplifying to something like "Caramanica described "Lights Up" as a generous return to pop that played to Styles's strengths."
  • thank you for the suggestion, revised it accordingly
  • In a similar vein, Loiuse Bruton from The Irish Times likened the song production-wise. → "likened" means comparing. Change this to "liked", or rephrase to something along the lines of "In a similar vein, Loiuse Bruton from The Irish Times complimented the song's production."
  • you're right, changed to "complimented"
  • Andrew Unterberger was more critical in his review for Billboard in which he singled out the song's direction as deceptive and wrote that the track "never quite tells you where its going and then leaves you off somewhere you don't even recognise." Best to correct quotes where necessary for proper usage. its → it's
  • thank you for noticing, changed now

Commercial performance

  • removed now

Later sections

  • I checked all the chart positions and certifications, and can confirm they're accurate. The only thing I would suggest changing is the reference for Singapore. Since the primary link goes to the current chart and the relevant info can only be seen by checking the archive URL, I think you should change |url-status=live to |url-status=dead.
  • done

Otherwise, I thought this was a well written and informative article. Will be happy to support once these are resolved. Hope you're keeping well. Homeostasis07 (talk/contributions) 01:14, 11 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Homeostasis07, thank you for taking time to comment. Much appreciated. :) I've responded above. --Viridian Bovary (talk) 18:33, 11 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the prompt response. I'm happy with the changes you've made, so can gladly support this article for promotion. Good luck with the nomination. Homeostasis07 (talk/contributions) 00:20, 12 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.