Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Neal Dow/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 12:55, 22 October 2016 [1].

Neal Dow

Nominator(s): Coemgenus (talk) 12:43, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about Neal Dow, the "Napoleon of Temperance". Dow was a politician and orator who spent his life in pursuit of a single goal: banning the consumption alcohol. In the process, he made and broke political alliances, alienated neighbors and friends, and generally made himself obnoxious to everyone he encountered, but he was (briefly) successful in imposing the first statewide prohibition law in the United States. I hope you enjoy the article. --Coemgenus (talk) 12:43, 12 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Images are appropriately licensed. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:21, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Thanks, Nikkimaria. --Coemgenus (talk) 15:44, 13 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose per my standard disclaimer. These are my edits. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk) 02:39, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Thanks, Dank. --Coemgenus (talk) 23:00, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Interesting article on a figure I didn't know much about. My usual quibbles (part 1):

• Should his state legislative service be included in the infobox?

• Yes? I don't usually bother with the infoboxes (they tend to sprout on their own). But I'll add it if you want.

• "Dow retired from the military " I would say resigned as you do in the body.

• Fixed.

• "and the daughter of a prosperous Maine family headed by her prominent grandfather, Hate-Evil Hall." Leaving aside the breathtaking cognomen, "daughter' and "grandfather" don't mesh well.

• changed to "a member"

• "Friends school" possibly the term "Friends" as an alternate for Quaker could be introduced in a way that makes it clear they are synonyms. Also, I'm not sure you "attend" "further schooling".

• Done

• Can we have a year that Dow entered the work force by getting his hides tanned?

• Ha, done.

• Can steam power really be described as "new technology" in the 1820s? Even in Portland?

• One the one hand, it had been developed a long time before, but on the other, no one else in Portland was using it for tanning. I just cut the word "new".

• "out of a Quaker belief in pacifism." I would strike the word "a" to make it clearer this was a widely-held view in the religion.

• Done

• "now a museum administered by the local chapter of the Women's Christian Temperance Union" I would say inline what the museum is memorializing.

• Done

• 1832 presidential election. Did JQA really run? Our article says he wanted to but was too unpopular to get a nomination.--Wehwalt (talk) 12:29, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• You're right, and the source mentions Clay, not Adams (Dow disliked Clay for his reputation as a dualist!). Fixed.

• "In the 19th century, the average American" isn't the entire century a bit of a broad brush to be painting with?

• Clarified that this was meant as an average (I was trying to avoid using the singular).

• A brief sampling of the evils the prohibitionists hoped to prevent might not be a bad idea. The fact that workingmen got paid in rum isn't sufficient.

• I added some details.

• "who made their own organization" possibly "formed" for "made"

• Done

• "a similar law ... they continued to be defeated". Tense mismatch

• Fixed

• "and came to detest the Democrats as the tools of the alcohol industry" I would strike the "the" before "tools"

• Fixed.

• "prosecutions were deferred" possibly "halted" for "deferred"

• I changed it to "deferred indefinitely," which seems to be what Byrne is getting at.

• " he lobbied the state legislature ... They did so" tense issue

• Fixed

• "He and his detractors engaged in anonymous newspaper campaigns against one another," maybe "both Dow and his opponents engaged in anonymous newspaper campaigns against the other,"

• OK, changed.

• "Maine Temperance Society, William P. Fessenden." I might give him the false title, "future senator"

• Done

• "promised effects" better, "promised benefits"

• Done

• "Dow had backed some of Peck's borrowing" I would say "guaranteed" for backed if this is like I suspect a McKinley 1893 situation.

• Yes, it is. Didn't know if guarantees were too technical. Changed.

• "In September 1860, he declined to run for re-election" Wasn't that when the election was held (As goes Maine ...)? Presumably his decision had to be at some point before that?--Wehwalt (talk) 12:00, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Clarified.
• OK, I'm finished up to here. Thanks for the thorough review so far! --Coemgenus (talk) 23:08, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Resuming

• "outbreak of Civil War" why the caps? And why no pipe? There's no link to the war in the area.

• Fixed.

• "He also confiscated property from nearby planters, including those who supported the Union, and tried unsuccessfully to claim salvage rights over Confederate military property abandoned in the river.[70]" salvage rights on his own behalf or on the U.S.'s?

His own! I clarified.

• "In October 1862, Dow was given command over the District of Pensacola, and moved to join other units there.[70] He immediately earned the troops' disfavor by placing Pensacola under prohibition" He was provost marshal for Pensacola or what was his role?

• The source just says "Dow received Butler's order to take command of the District of Pensacola". I'll see if I can find something more specific.

• Not really necessary. I wasn't clear on the chain of command. I'd make it clear it was Butler's order, that explains how Butler could countermand.

• "Butler soon countermanded the orders" for what? Prohibition or the slave liberations/property confiscations?

• Confiscation. I clarified it.

• Link US Grant.

• Done

• Dow's travels as a prisoner were wide enough to make me wonder how he was taken. Train?

• Wagon and train, according to Byrne.

• Did Dow give any sort of parole?

• The source doesn't say so. I think because he was exchanged, he could have returned to the fighting if he wanted to. --Coemgenus (talk) 23:20, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• In the 1874 UK election, did he give speeches? I'm not clear on what his "effort" was.

• Yes, speeches and some "organizing" (not terribly well defined in the source). Added it.

• "Maine's legislature strengthened the weak prohibition law there by banning distilling in the state" the last state of play was repeal. For the sake of continuity, you might want to say something like "Maine's legislature had enacted a weak prohibition law in 18xx; thanks to Dow's influence ..."

• I think the last thing I wrote on the subject was "Maine passed a new, much milder Maine Law in 1858..."

• "and disappointed at their failure to enforce Reconstruction in the South" I'd say, if possible, what specifically disappointed him.

• Byrne is not much more specific ("failing to protect the rights of Southern Negroes") but I added that.

• "James Black's request that his name be placed in nomination for the presidency at the 1880 convention." Two issues. James who? and "his" is uncertain.

• Fixed (Black is linked in the previous section).

• "The convention that met in Cleveland that June welcomed delegates from twelves states" typo (doing this offline)

• Done.

• "Dow himself did not attend, staying home with his ailing wife" well, this was hardly unusual, and the reader should probably be told that in that day, candidates stayed away from the convention. Although you do more work with the minor parties than I do and perhaps things were different.

• I think it was different--Weaver attended the Greenback convention that same year (so did Garfield attend the RNC, of course, but that's different since he was a dark horse). Still, it's worth noting.

• Are there sites etc in Portland or elsewhere with a Dow connection worthy of mention?

• Other than his house, I don't think so. I'll double check, though.

A most interesting article on someone I'm glad to know more about.--Wehwalt (talk) 05:15, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Dow is an interesting, quarrelsome man. I enjoyed learning more about him, myself. --Coemgenus (talk) 23:20, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support Well done.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:10, 30 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Source review All sources seem of encyclopedic quality and are appropriately cited.--Wehwalt (talk) 18:14, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support: G'day, I took a look after your post on the Milhist talk page. Not really my cup of tea, especially given he was a Prohibitionist... ;-) Bad jokes aside, overall the article looks quite well done to me. I believe it is up to snuff, but have the following suggestions: AustralianRupert (talk) 12:13, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• is there an OCLC number or ISSN for The New England Magazine?
• in the lead, " Shortly thereafter, thanks in large part to Dow's efforts..." --> " Shortly thereafter, largely due to Dow's efforts..." (would this be smoother?)
• in the lead, "As mayor, Dow enforced the law with..." --> "As mayor of Portland, Dow enforced the law with..."
• "...American consumed on average more than three times the alcohol of his modern-day counterpart..." --> "...American male consumed on average more than three times the alcohol of his modern-day counterpart..."?
• " required militia musters..." --> perhaps link to Militia (United States)
• "granted Dow a colonel's commission..." --> link to Colonel (United States)
• link for electoral college -->
  Electoral College (United States)
• that's it from me, thanks for your hard work. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 12:13, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• AustralianRupert, thanks very much for the review and the suggestions (and I agree with your take on prohibition, for what it's worth!) These are all fixed now. --Coemgenus (talk) 13:28, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

• Closing note: This
  WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 12:55, 22 October 2016 (UTC)[reply
  ]