Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Pinkham Notch/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 03:23, 12 April 2007.

Pinkham Notch

previous FAC

• Self-nomination This article is well written, completely cited, and provides great coverage of an area of wikipedia that is usually not very well covered. It narrowly missed FA status last time (see archived above), but has been edited, improved, and peer reviewed, and I believe is ready to be promoted. Thanks. -- Sturgeonman 16:49, 25 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

• Oppose—1a. The whole text needs careful copy-editing by somone who's unfamiliar with it. Please network among WPians who've successfully worked on similar articles. Here are a few random examples of loose, unclear wording.
  • First sentence: "is a mountain pass located in the White Mountains of north-central New Hampshire, United States"—Remove "located", here and elsewhere. The absence of "the" before US is a problem. Try "the US state of New Hampshire". Worth fixing in this exposed position.
  • "Due to the volatility of the area's climate and its rugged character"—The rugged character of the climate?
  • "4,000 feet"—Metric equivalent, please. "Ft" and "feet" are sprinkled inconsistently.
  • "the slopes drop very steeply, but not precipitously"—Remove "very".
  • The first occurrence of "col" needs to be linked.
  • "The climate, and as a result, the flora and fauna, of Pinkham Notch varies greatly with elevation. As elevations increase on the walls of the notch, climate and ecosystems change to those of increasingly northern occurrence. Biomes range from a low-elevation northern hardwood forest at the base of Mount Washington to alpine-arctic vegetation near the summit usually found at the latitude of Labrador.[10]"—Probably "vary" is better. Do you need "greatly"? So many amplifications tend to bleach the statements. "Those" could refer to a number of nominals. "Northern occurrence" is a problem; isn't there a more technical word, such as "aspect"? What is usually found at the latitude of L? The vegetation, the summit? Tony 22:51, 1 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.