Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/WrestleMania XXIV/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 01:57, 17 December 2008 [1].

WrestleMania XXIV

Nominator(s):
iMatthew

I'm nominating this article for featured article because I'm sure it meets the Featured article criteria. Concerns will be addressed.

iMatthew 00:03, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]

Comments from
talk · contribs
)

talk) 00:19, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]

I got everything except the reference for that paragraph. I'm not sure about it.
iMatthew 00:30, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Assuming the reader doesn't know anything about the subject, like me, then the paragraph should be referenced. How else can I verify if the information is accurate?
talk) 00:45, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Matt, I recommend sourcing it with this. It's reliable, seeing how there is an article on Wiki about it.--
RX
 00:51, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Sourced with that link.
iMatthew 00:56, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Not commenting on its reliability, but just because it has its own article doesn't mean it's reliable.
talk) 00:57, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Well, I guess let Ealdgyth comment its reliability, but I think its reliable since its operated and published by
RX
00:59, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
A few comments from WillC
  • I just thought to tell you about a few sources that are dead links now. Plus you have two dab pages linked. Stomp and World Heavyweight Championship. Ref 54 is dead along with 35. If Lockdown passes I'll leave some comments later, right now I'm bussy. Good luck.--WillC 00:37, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Thanks, will do later.
      iMatthew 00:56, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
      ]

Comments -

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:32, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done with some replies.
iMatthew 21:59, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]

Oppose - Sorry, but a review of the lead only revealed a lot of questionable prose. Here's what I found.

I recommend seeking a copy-edit for the whole article. If the lead has a large number of problems, the body probably needs work too. Let me know when these are done, and I'll review more when I can. Giants2008 (17-14) 00:10, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done with a few comments.
iMatthew 00:29, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Back for round 2, and my oppose still stands, unfortunately. I found all of these in the first two paragraphs of the Background section:
  • "All wrestlers belonged either the..." Two-letter word is missing.
  • "in which WWE assigned its employees to a different programs." Why is "a" here?
  • "Cena became a top contender to the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXIV." Picky, but I'd replace to with for. Other instances of this exist later.
  • "Orton got himself intentionally disqualified after slapping the referee". What else did he have to do? Even wrestling has some rules. :-) I think you're looking for "by slapping the referee".
  • "in an Elimination Chamber match, a match...". Close repetition here. This has been one of the nagging complaints about the move out-of-universe, and it's a problem in this instance.
  • "surrounded by chain and girders." One chain?
  • "who is portrayed as a matchmaker and rules enforcer". Is may be correct now, but for how long will that be the case? I would make it was.
  • Two instances of "if ... should win", which should be "if ... won".
  • Remove comma after "Regal added a stipulation to the match". As an alternative, a colon could be inserted, along with the removal of the next word."
My advice about seeking copy-editing services still stands as well. The most beneficial thing would be to seek someone outside the wrestling project, who could come with a completely fresh pair of eyes. I know it's not easy to find someone to work on these articles, but the effort would be helpful. Giants2008 (17-14) 22:22, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done.
matthew ✡ 22:29, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
  • The first thing I saw when I returned to the Background section was an indented paragraph with a stray period. Doesn't inspire me with confidence.
What?
matthew ✡ 02:07, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
  • "On the following episode of Smackdown, Edge predicted that The Undertaker's 15–0 record at WrestleMania would come to an end once he defeated him at WrestleMania." "at WrestleMania" is repeated in the sentence. Needs rewording.
  • "in a Steel Cage match, a match where the ring is surrounded by walls of steel." → "in a Steel Cage match, where the ring is surrounded by steel walls."
  • "The Undertaker chokeslammed — lifted both Hawkins and Ryder by the throat and slammed them down to the mat — while he executed a Tombstone piledriver (second link in section) on Guerrero." If what is in between the dashes is removed, the sentence makes no sense. Can this be reworded too?
  • During the "burial," however". Watch for logical punctuation. Unless part of a quote, punctuation should be outside quotation marks.
  • "came to his aid and confronted Big Show. Big Show..." Repetition again.
College finals are looming, meaning that I probably won't return for a few days. Until then, these should be fixed. Giants2008 (17-14) 01:44, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done.
matthew ✡ 02:07, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]

College finals no longer looming, but I'm waiting until SRX's comments are resolved. I see no reason to overload the nominator with comments. I might even look at making some improvements if I have time, which is a distinct possibility. Giants2008 (17-14) 03:08, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--WillC 05:14, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Significant contributors - you should have notified the significant contributors of the article about this FAC, since they are the ones who helped edit the article.
    RX
     22:36, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
  • Comments from the lead.
  • From the six scheduled bouts on the undercard, three received more promotion than the other three. - "other three" → "others".
  • Is it possible to cut down on the usage of "bout" in the second paragraph of the lead.
  • Tickets for the event went on sale to the public on November 3, 2007. - Is there a better term for "went on sale"?
    • Not that I can think of.
  • For the second year in a row, WrestleMania broke the record for the highest-grossing pay-per-view in WWE history, as well as for the Citrus Bowl, grossing US$ 5.85 million in ticket sales. - "For the second year in a row" → "for the second consecutive year". Also, there is no space between the $ and the number.
  • The Central Florida Sports Commission estimated that the event created jobs and brought around 60,000 visitors to the city. - "around" → "approximately". Also, "estimate" is a term usually reserved for exact numbers, so "estimated that the event created jobs" reads oddly.
    • Suggestions to fix it?
  • WWE and the city of Orlando hosted festivities that spanned a five-day period within the central Florida region. - "city of Orland" → "City of Orland" (notice the change in capitalization).
  • More than one million people ordered the event on pay-per-view, grossing $23.8 million in revenue. - "More than" → "over".

–Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 03:35, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

    • Done with comment.
      matthew ✡ 20:15, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
      ]

Comments by Nikki

Nikki♥311 03:45, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

    • Done with comments.
      matthew ✡ 20:15, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
      ]

Image review: Images appear to be fine. --Moni3 (talk) 16:23, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • There needs to be a link to singles match in the lead.
  • The other match was a Career Threatening match where Shawn Michaels defeated Ric Flair, forcing Flair's retirement from professional wrestling. - this would read better as ..resulting in Flair's retirement from professional wrestling.
  • In addition, why are the brands not linked in the lead?
  • All wrestlers belonged to either the Raw, SmackDown, or ECW brand – storyline divisions in which WWE assigned its employees to different programs. - if you're going to elaborate what the ECW acronym in the lead, you may as well do in the background intro.
  • The event featured nine professional wrestling matches with wrestlers involved in pre-existing scripted feuds, plots and storylines. Wrestlers were portrayed as either villains or fan favorites as they followed a series of tension-building events, which culminated in a wrestling match or series of matches. All wrestlers belonged to either the Raw, SmackDown, or ECW brand – storyline divisions in which WWE assigned its employees to different programs. - recently, The event has been replaced with the event's name, which in this case would be WrestleMania.
  • At the Royal Rumble pay-per-view event in January, Cena won the Royal Rumble match, where thirty wrestlers compete in a ring and are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope. are -->were, compete--->competed [past tense]
  • That same night, Triple H also became the a top contender to the WWE Championship by defeating five other men in an Elimination Chamber match, which features wrestlers fighting in a ring surrounded by chains and girders. 1)Remove the word the before a top contender. 2)Features --> Featured [past tense]
  • If Orton won, however, the main event would remain as Orton versus Triple H in a standard wrestling match. Cena, however, won the match and was added to the bout at WrestleMania. - it should be elaborated here that a standard wrestling match is also a singles match.
  • The Undertaker won the match by eliminating Batista (Dave Batista) after lifting him upside down and dropping his head down to the mat, a move called the Tombstone piledriver. - is it relevant to say how he won? Its not relevant to the feud and is just adding more
    WP:PLOT
    .
  • The following week, Edge, Hawkins, Ryder, and Chavo Guerrero, a group of aligned wrestlers, defeated Ric Flair (Richard Fliehr) and Shawn Michaels (Michael Hickenbottom) in a Steel Cage match, where the ring is surrounded by walls of steel. - in this context, is should be was
  • The Undertaker lifted both Hawkins and Ryder by the throat and slammed them down to the mat, while he executed a Tombstone piledriver on Guerrero. - if the Tombstone is removed as I suggested above, it would need to go here, and in addition, the chokeslam explanation should state that is indeed called a chokeslam (that's if it used again in the article)
  • The Undertaker emerged from a casket, which was inside the ring, and attacked Edge, Hawkins and Ryder, knocking Hawkins and Ryder outside the ring and chokeslamming Edge through the casket. - see, here the reader is left clueless because they don't know what a chokeslam is.
  • The SmackDown prime rivalry has a lot of
    RX
    21:41, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
Done, thanks!
matthew ✡ 22:41, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Further Comments
Sorry I almost missed these. I'll get them tomorrow afternoon.
matthew ✡ 00:42, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
I need to put it off another day. I spent the night trying to catch a raccoon in my attic, not fun. Sorry,
matthew ✡ 03:11, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]
Everything is done with some comments.
matthew ✡ 20:16, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply
]

Followup

Followup3

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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