Wikipedia:Peer review/The Random Years/archive2

Comments from SatDis

Lead

• Oooh, I can't believe Will Friedle is in this series! Are there any clips online?

• To avoid the "and" repetition, I would split to "According to a 2002 Broadcasting & Cable article, Roswell received low ratings and UPN was scaling back on the series and would likely cancel it; the network denied these claims, saying they were "just making room for its midseason shows"

• "the series is about" - maybe "the series centers on"?.

• "the cast as a whole also got negative feedback." - change "got" to "received".

Premise

• I like the sentence "Storylines focus on the characters' jobs and romantic relationships" - can this be worked into the lead? For example, "Storylines focus on the characters' jobs and romantic relationships, often including their neighbor Casey Parker (Natalia Cigliuti) and their building superintendent Steve (Winston J. Rochas)."??

Production and broadcast history

• "replaced by Eddie Kaye Thomas.[14][9]" - swap references.

• "These new programs were not promoted" - maybe "These new programs were not put forward", or "proposed"?

• "Few Watching; UPN laffs a gaffe". Variety. needs a url-acess=subscription as I can't read the ratings.

• "and attracted only half the audience of its replacement Roswell" - I know Roswell returned, but in the previous paragraph it says The Random Years was the replacement for Roswell - can this be clarified?

• This bit is a little confusing as it says "both shows", and then "it" (which show is "it" referring to?). Then it says "Episodes airing on March 12" - does that mean multiple episodes of The Random Years, or is it episodes of both shows respectively? But then it says "it" again. Might need a reword.

• "and its final two episodes" - maybe "the final two aired episodes were shown on March 19, though more were produced".

• "in their time slot" - just another pronoun confusion, who is "their"?

Episodes

• Can the note about the alternate title be moved down to that episode's summary?

Critical reception

• I don't have any issues with the reception section. However, I can foresee that in the FA nomination, some reviewers might say that there are too many direct quotes here.

Comments by Pseud 14

I think the article is in good shape. Here are a few suggestions from me:

• and their post-graduate lives -- perhaps we can use "lives after college" or somewhere along those lines, some readers may not fully understand the term.
  WP:NOTSIMPLE

• has his own website. -- does this imply the website is already active? or is this one of his goals? If the former, I would probably say, he runs his own website.

• A mother's boy -- I would use mama's boy instead, as it's commonly used phrase.