Wikipedia:Peer review/Un célebre especialista sacando muelas en el gran Hotel Europa/archive1

Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Un célebre especialista sacando muelas en el gran Hotel Europa

I've listed this article for peer review because I am wanting to propose it as a Featured Article candidate. Any comments would be helpful, especially if there are any suggestions on layout and tone of the article!

Thanks, Kingsif (talk) 02:22, 25 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Tim riley

An interesting article, which I much enjoyed reading. A few minor points on the prose:

  • "Venezuelan film was kicked off" – rather slangy way of putting it.
  • "Unfortunately, the screening did perhaps not go very well" – I'd lose the
    editorial
    "unfortunately".
  • "similar to Lumiere films" – the Lumières had their grave accent at previous mention; a pity to lose it here.
  • "Trujillo probably didn't" – should be "did not" – see
    MOS:CONTRACT
  • "it was reasonably accepted that Trujillo" – ambiguous: by "reasonably" do you mean "fairly generally" or "with good cause"?
  • "The historian López says that the film "may be the earliest views shot in Latin America", suggesting this was not only the first Venezuelan but first Latin American film" – doesn't the second part of this sentence tell us exactly the same as the first part?
  • "One writer, Michelle Leigh Farrell" – not sure of the purpose of the "One writer" here. If you mean she is the only one to discuss the matter you need to make it plainer. And if not, do the two words add anything of any meaning?
  • "Though, Chanan does also use a case study" – unwanted comma, I think.
  • "claiming the Edison films" – I'd be chary about "claiming". It has strong overtones suggesting you don’t believe what the writer is saying. "Suggesting" or some similarly neutral word would be safer.
  • "the 'Arrival of the train to the station' by..." – three points here. First, you want italics rather than single quotes, I think. Secondly if you're giving it its title untranslated in the "Screening" section there seems no cause to translate it here. Thirdly do trains arrive to somewhere rather than at?
  • "Notes" – I greatly like the way you have laid out the two Spanish quotations and their English translations. Very clear and helpful.

I hope these few points are of use. Tim riley talk 11:53, 27 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]