Wikipedia:Peer review/Willow Grove Park Mall/archive1
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Willow Grove Park Mall
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is currently a GA and I want to see what it needs to succeed at FAC
Thanks, Dough4872 04:45, 26 February 2012 (UTC)
Comments
- Not sure if there are any FA mall articles but worth a check at WP:FAto see if there's something you can use as a comparison.
- "stores plus several " plus several seems really loose to me, maybe "including a number of" or similar.
- " is anchored by" may be common USEng, but I have no idea what this means.
- " on the site of the former Willow Grove Park" this is more succinct and should probably be how you introduce it in the first para of the lead, moving the road intersection info to the second para...
- Explain what SEPTA means to us non-US readers before just using it like we all get it.
- Ah, you link anchor store later on. Do it in the lead.
- Various shop floor areas are far too precise (down to the nearest 0.1 square metre, really??) so make it (oddly) less accurate.
- "In addition, a relocated two-story 17,000 square feet (1,600 m2) Forever 21 opened in a small portion of the former Strawbridge's in December 2011.[11][13][14]" does this need three refs?
- J. Crew appears to be just J.Crew (i.e. no space).
- Captions which aren't complete sentences (e.g. The third floor carousel entrance.) should not have a period.
- The two "incidents" are out of chronological order with the history.
- Seems to be a large space before the Economic impact section.
- A couple of "As of 2011", "in 2009".. it's 2012 now, any updates?
- Don't mix date formats in the references.
- Reduce the SHOUTING in the ref titles, just write them in natural English.
The Rambling Man (talk) 17:48, 8 March 2012 (UTC)