Talk:12B

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Reviewer: No Great Shaker (talk · contribs) 05:49, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Starting review. Hope to have some feedback soon. No Great Shaker (talk) 05:49, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  1. GACR#1a
    . Well written: the prose is clear, concise and understandable.
  2. GACR#1a
    . Well written: the spelling and grammar are correct.
  3. GACR#1b
    . Complies with the MOS guidelines for lead sections.
  4. GACR#1b
    . Complies with the MOS guidelines for article structure and layout.
  5. GACR#1b
    . Complies with the MOS guidelines for words to watch.
  6. GACR#1b
    . Complies with the MOS guidelines for writing about fiction.
  7. GACR#1b
    . Complies with the MOS guidelines for list incorporation.
  8. GACR#2a
    . Contains a list of all references in accordance with the layout style guideline.
  9. GACR#2b
    . All statements are verifiable with inline citations provided.
  10. GACR#2b
    . All inline citations are from reliable sources, etc.
  11. GACR#2b
    . All quotations are cited and their usage complies with MOS guidelines.
  12. GACR#2c
    . No original research.
  13. GACR#2d
    . No copyright violations or plagiarism.
  14. GACR#3
    . Broad in its coverage but within scope and in summary style.
  15. GACR#4
    . Neutral (NPOV).
  16. GACR#5
    . Stable.
  17. GACR#6a
    . Images are at least fair use and do not breach copyright.
  18. GACR#6b
    . Images are relevant to the topic with appropriate captions.

I'll be using the checklist above to register progress. No Great Shaker (talk) 06:07, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Fails review

I'm applying

MOS:LEAD
and is not well-written, especially the "Legacy" section. While I could place it on hold for seven days, I don't think there is any justification for doing that because the amount of work needed will almost certainly need much more time. The comments I have collated are listed below:

Lead

  • The lead is only a short introduction and does not present an adequate summary of the narrative. Fails
    MOS:LEAD
    .
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:34, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Vivek, Sunil Shetty, Moonmoon Sen and Shanti Williams, and play other important roles in the film. Is there another name to be added here or is ", and" a mistake?
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 23:09, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The film released in September 2001 to positive reviews. The infobox says the precise release date was 28 September 2001. The two should tally.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 23:12, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Sliding Doors citation in the lead is different to the one in the narrative so compliance is needed. Citations are not required in the lead as long as the statement is in the narrative – bearing in mind that the lead must be a summary of the narrative per
    MOS:LEAD
    . You should remove the citation from the lead and apply it to the statement in the narrative.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 23:12, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The film released in September 2001 to positive reviews. This is also cited in the lead but, again, the citation there is not used for the similar information in the narrative.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 23:12, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the lead, the film opened to "positive reviews" but, in the narrative, it opened to "above average reviews". That is not the same thing as it suggests some reviews were poor.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 23:10, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Images

  • I'm not entirely sure that the photo of Jyothika is free for use here. It seems to have been lifted from a "Bollywood" site. It might be okay but I think it should be checked at WikiMedia.
Under Wikimedia, it states that it is free for use.TamilMirchi (talk) 00:37, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The poster is fair use and it looks as if the Simran photo is "own work", so they appear to be okay.

Plot

 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 23:14, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Shakthi who makes the bus gets to the job interview on time and gets the job of a bank manager at HSBC. Don't use "gets", and certainly not twice in one sentence. A better line would be: The Shakthi who catches the bus arrives at the job interview on time and is offered the job of a bank manager at HSBC.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 23:47, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 23:14, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...something keeps preventing him from getting to her. Again, don't use "getting": ...something always prevents him from meeting her.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:35, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • As a general point, you need to think about alternatives to "get", "gets" and "getting". In the context of this article, it is a slang term that fails
    GACR#1
    .
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:36, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • He is well off in life, but miserable because he can't get the girl he loves. Presumably this means Shakthi who catches the bus? It isn't immediately obvious. Again, don't use "get". Try something like: As a bank manager, he is well off in life, but miserable because he cannot win the girl he loves.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:07, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • As with "gets", there is too much "spots". First instance of this is okay but the second one (Madhan) should be something like "meets" or perhaps "bumps into". The third one (Jo again), should simply be "sees".
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:36, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The next day, while crossing the street, he spots the girl from the day before and begins to follow her again until he is able to get her attention and they begin a relationship. This is somewhat convoluted. Simplify it by saying: The next day, while crossing the street, he sees Jo again and follows her. He gains her attention and they begin a relationship.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:08, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • For "much to Jo's despise", use a different noun as "despise" is a verb that cannot really serve as a noun. You could use "despisal" which is grammatically correct but uncommon. A better word would be something like "distaste" or "disgust", depending on the extent of Jo's dislike of her uncle.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:13, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • On the other end. Try: At the other end.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:13, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • For clarity, forget the bus and use either "Shakthi the bank manager" or "Shakthi the mechanic".
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:13, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Use endash instead of hyphen in penultimate paragraph.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:13, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Shakthi and his alternate self are admitted in the hospital. Say: Both Shakthis are admitted to the hospital. It is "admitted to", not "admitted in".
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:13, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The film ends with Priya wailing over the death of her Shakthi while catching a glimpse of the other Shakthi making things right with Jo at the hospital. Simplify as: The film ends in the hospital with Priya crying over the death of her Shakthi, the bank manager, while catching a glimpse of Shakthi the mechanic making up with Jo.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:13, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Cast

  • I don't understand citation 3 re Saashi as John. Are you saying that Saashi is Jeeva?
Was trying to cite the end credits of the film. Sashi played John.TamilMirchi (talk) 23:49, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
M.R.K. per end credits TamilMirchi (talk) 00:19, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Coworker" needs a hyphen: "co-worker".
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 23:49, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Shakthi is misspelt twice in the cast list (sister and aunt).
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 23:49, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Production

  • I've made a few changes here myself, especially in one very awkward sentence that needed a copyedit. Also inserted a paragraph break.
  • Simran and Jyothika, the two leading heroines at the time, were cast as the lead actresses with Jyothika getting more screen time. Saying that they were the "two leading heroines" is POV unless it can be fully substantiated. Better to say something like "two of the leading actresses at the time".
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:16, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Jeeva was insistent to retain Shaam. Change this to: Jeeva insisted on retaining Shaam.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:16, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Soundtrack

  • The soundtrack of the film gained recognition. No need to say "of the film".
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:19, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Where does the New Straits Times critic's quote end? No closing speech mark.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:19, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The best tune is Jothi Niranjava while criticizing the placement of songs in the film. This doesn't make sense because of "criticizing". Needs revision.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:19, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • A critic from The Hindu stated how "Poovae Vai Pesum..." is a melodious number that has traces of a couple of songs you've heard before". Again, there is confusion because of a missing speech mark.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:19, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • All tracks are written by Kulasekhar. Does this apply to the first list or the second? What are the differences between the Track-List and the Telugu Track-List? We have been told that Harris Jayaraj wrote the soundtrack but suddenly we have Kulasekhar instead. Explanation needed.
Second list. He wrote the Telugu tracks. Jayaraj made the songs and not the lyricsTamilMirchi (talk) 00:17, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Release

  • Per
    WP:INTEXT
    , a citation is needed after every quotation, even if the same citation applies to the whole paragraph.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:22, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Use a colon to introduce each quote.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:21, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Legacy

  • What is a "chocolate boy"?

Stated in notes section.TamilMirchi (talk) 21:49, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • The lengthy first paragraph here has been cobbled together with various notes and has no logical flow with switches of subject-matter. It needs to be properly constructed so that a reader can easily follow the narrative and make sense of the information.
 Done TamilMirchi (talk) 00:34, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Categories

  • Should be sorted into alphabetic order.
 DoneTamilMirchi (talk) 00:15, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Summary

If the necessary work is done to address and resolve the various issues raised above, the article can be renominated. Good luck. No Great Shaker (talk) 21:26, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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