Talk:Gender inequality in the English Caribbean
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Untitled
Good job creating the article! Here are my suggestions.
- -The lead needs expansion. The information about capabilities is nice, but it isn’t directly tied to gender inequality in the Caribbean. The lead should actually be a somewhat introduction to your article. See WP: LEADfor more information.
- -You need to make many more words into links. For example, put informal sectorunder the subsection of “Informal work."
- -The “Overview” section could use one of those Main Article links.
- -Under “Informal work,” you should not say “This may also contribute…” because you should be using facts, not conjectures.
- -The “Children and migration” section doesn’t really seem like it relates to gender inequality in the Caribbean because it just discusses children, not gender.
- -The “Dame Mary Eugenia Charles” section could also use one of the Main Article links.
- Alissahart (talk) 01:15, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
Bellechic, I think this article is a great base for this topic! Great job! I think there is a good coverage of various aspects of the gender inequality present in the English Caribbean. Here are a few notes:
- Same note as Alissahart on lead: the first sentence should define “gender inequality in the English Caribbean.” So you could say something like, “Gender inequality in the English Caribbean refers to gaps between individuals based on gender that exist in the English Caribbean.” Also, the lead should summarize your article, so add some more text after what you have to ensure that it does this.
- This note is for the whole article: citations must be placed basically after each fact/sentence, even if you used the same source for a whole paragraph. Later on, if someone edits your article by adding a new fact to the middle of an existing paragraph, we will not be able to tell where all the information came from if everything it not given a citation.
- “In the last ten to fifteen years the Latin American and Caribbean region...” - no citation
- “On average, 50 percent of women are a part of the workforce whereas more than 75 percent of men work in the formal sector” - are women a part of the formal or informal sector? These statistics may not be comparable if the one for women does not specify which sector the women are working in. Also, comma needed before “whereas”
- Do you have any statistics to put in the unemployment section?
- “Women in the formal sector work less hours and earn lower wages” - should be “fewer” hours
- The “Children and migration” section is not really an issue of gender inequality because it implies that all children are equally affected, regardless of their gender. Perhaps this could be worked into the migration section as a consequence of migration?
- “Within the region, the higher a country’s GDP the likelihood of women…” - should say “the higher the likelihood”
KiaraDouds (talk) 12:13, 10 April 2012 (UTC)
Peer review
You have made some great changes to the entry. It is nicely written; however, I do have some suggestions. The lead should be expanded to better convey the effects of gender inequality in the English Caribbean. According to
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