Talk:Kanariya

This review is

transcluded from Talk:Kanariya/GA1

. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 20:08, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Soon... Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:08, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• Japanese: translated to "Canary" → Japanese: "Canary"
• single, limiting physical sales units to → single with limited physical units of
• There are two versions of "Kanariya"; a radio edit that was → produced by DJ Jonathan Peters, and an album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino. → Two versions of "Kanariya" were made available for consumption—a radio edit produced by DJ Jonathan Peters, and the album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino.
• music critics. Some praised → music critics, with some of the praising
• edit, while reviews generally criticized → edit, but generally criticizing
• was a success in Japan → experienced success in Japan (due to
  fancruft
  )
• 300,000 unit → plural
• Word repetition through "units"; use copies in one case
• An accompanying music video → An accompanying music video for the recording
• which featured → with it portraying
• laboratory, surrounded → remove comma
• conducted → released
• link "remix and greatest hits compilations" to respective articles on Wikipedia.
  •  Done.

Infobox

• Digital download → no capital letter
• Dance music → Dance + isn't it just the genre of the remix?
• Avex Entertainment Inc. → Avex
  •  Done.

Background and release

• There are two versions of "Kanariya"; a radio edit that was remixed and produed by American DJ Jonathan Peters, and an album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino. → same as in the lead
• is heavily influenced throughout Hamasaki's → heavily influences Hamasaki's
• add comma after "studio album"
• Loveppears (1999), and also → Loveappears (1999); the track also
• keyboards by Peter → keyboards managed by Peter
• and eventually → and was eventually
• Word repetition through "song" at the end of the first para.
• limiting physical sales units to 300,000 copies. → same as in the lead
• The CD format → The physical format (to avoid repetitions)
• 13 → thirteen
• 11 of which → of which eleven
• "Kanariya", plus a remix for Hamasaki's tracks "Two of Us" and "From the Letter"; the former appeared on her debut studio album A Song for ×× (1999), whilst the latter was included as a B-side track for her single "Depend on You". → "Kanariya", also incorporating a remix for Hamasaki's tracks "Two of Us" and "From the Letter". While the former appeared on her debut studio album, A Song for xx (1999), the latter was...
• Remove "Then on"
• 12" inch vinyl; the vinyl include → 12" inch vinyl, including
• Peters' → Peters
• The artwork → The single's artwork
• The CD did not include a booklet, so the photograph immolated as a picture disc but did feature a clear plastic sheet that featured information about the single → The physical version of "Kanariya" failed to included a booklet, which resulted in the cover sleeve being immolated as a picture disc, featuring an emphasised plastic sheet with information on the single.
  •  Done. I didn't change the numerals to worded numbers; I personally do that only above 10.

Reception

• commending → acclaiming
• link "R&B"
• However, when reviewing the CD single, the review stated → When reviewing the CD single, the website stated,
• a member at → a member of
• but criticised → but criticized
• labeled → labelled (the first one is American English)
• the single was a success in Japan → same as in the lead
• first week of sales → first week of availability
• It lasted → "Kanariya" lasted (word rep.)
• on the top 200 → within the top 200
• one of Hamasaki's → marking one of Hamasaki's
• lowest spanning → lowest-spanning
• but was her only limited single from Loveppears to reach atop → This can be left out, as it's overfluous.
• it debuted at number one → it opened atop (word rep.)
• Connect last two sentences from the first para with ", lasting..."
• in the top 100 → within the top 100
• it had sold → the recording had sold
• word repetition through "ranked" in second para
• However, in 1999, it ranked at number 84 on TBS' Annual Chart. → Include this info one sentence earlier, but not with "However,"
• the single was → the track was (word rep.)
• her 29th highest selling → the singer's 29th highest-selling
• data base → database
  •  Done.

Music video and promotion

• Jonathan Peters → Peters (never write full names twice)
• The video features → The visual portrays (word rep.)
• laboratory, surrounded with → laboratory, being surrounded by
• Throughout the song → Throughout the music video
• I decided to edit the rest of the issues with the music video para by myself
• promoted on → promoted through
• conducted → released
• It has been → It has additionally been
• Word repetition through "Hamasaki"
• remove "that being"
• It was specially → "Kanariya" was specially (word rep.)
• remove "remix" from "remix extended play"
  •  Done.

Personnel

• Rename section into "Credits and personnel"
• the CD liner notes of "Kanariya"; → the liner notes of the single's physical release.
  •  Done.

Charts

• Remove "Weekly chart" and "Weekly" from the charts
  •  Done.

Release history

• Unlink labels and formats
  •  Done.

Outcome

I've put this  On hold for 7 days in order to allow edits to the article. Good luck and best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:30, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

 Done all adjustments. Thank you for the review, @Cartoon network freak:. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 23:09, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Passing! Cheers, Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:55, 28 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]