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You are not supposed to add commas before things like this in the body unlike the lead, plus in this context "the" reads better and the second comma renders useless. --K. Peake 06:33, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
According to this grammar guide, commas can be used to separate a noun from a non-restrictive phrase describing that noun. I have reworded it to "... found Strata-East Records, a New York-based independent record label, ..."
Yeah this version is fine, good job! --K. Peake 07:46, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"embarked on their first tour of Japan" part is not sourced and the liner notes probably do not mention it as being their first tour in the country; correct me if I'm wrong
Reword the img text to being something of relevance, rather just mentioning it being a pic of Cowell
"led the quartet featuring" → "led the quartet, featuring"
"A 30-second sample with" → "A 30-second sample of "Effi", with" on the audio sample text
You still need to add the song title on the audio sample's text. --K. Peake 06:33, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Might be me getting confused by re-wording, but does the AllMusic ref really mention everything cited for the first sentence of the second para?
Yes. "the Tokyo gig kicks from top to bottom ... full-tilt post-bop on Tolliver's 'Drought' that opens the set is a great example. 'Stretch,' ... full-on swinging mode."
"kick[ing] from top to bottom", "full-tilt", and "full-on swinging mode" indicate the album is thoroughly uptempo, with the first two songs in particular.
That is a review source though, so you should change to make the POV more neutral since "intensely" sounds like it indicates praise. --K. Peake 06:33, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I have changed it to "sharp-toned", which has a similar connotation and is used in other scholarly sources on jazz.
"Anon." is a shorthand for "anonymous". It is not the reviewer's in-source title.
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Mention the staff as reviewing the album then, as it is awkward to write that a publication itself was the reviewer. --K. Peake 06:33, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
That would be no less incorrect, as staff means all the employees. The current phrasing also appears in high-quality music sources ([[1], [2]). Other variations appear as well ([3], [4]).
These are not on an encyclopaedia, though; I have added "a writer" here because we do not know their real identity. --K. Peake 07:46, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"The magazine praised the trumpeter's" → "Anon praised the trumpeter's"
"of the quartet's performances" → "of Music Inc.'s performances"
""'Round Midnight". But he ultimately found" → ""'Round Midnight", but ultimately found" because the former sentence is too short and it is also awkward to start a sentence with the word "but"
Writing guides such as this one approve of starting sentences with the word "but". And in this case, this separates the critic's positive idea in one sentence and a negative in the other, while avoiding a run-on.
Isento Nice to see you having replied so quickly; there are still a few more things that need fixing and I pointed them out above. --K. Peake 06:33, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Isento Very good responses the second time round too, always a pleasure to see this. ✓Pass now and this review has seen your best response yet, truth be told! --K. Peake 07:46, 19 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]