Talk:Marie of Romania/GA1

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• Listed by second reviewer. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 09:41, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 09:17, 26 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• "Kent, Malta and Coburg, in Germany." - It seems that both Malta and Coburg are located in Germany. When you have given the loaction of Coburg then you should also mention where Kent situated.

• Granted this was a bit too confusing, so instead of confusing things further, I just removed "in Germany".

• "two of her children undertook a tour of the United States" - Was there any purpose of the tour? I mean whether it was educational or spending leisure time etc.

• Fixed.

• "cirrhosis" - It should be appropriately linked.

• Done. --Alex (talk) 13:18, 29 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

RRD13 (talk) 08:08, 27 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Birth

• First the proper nouns are used, then they are replaced by pronouns.

• Can you give me some examples, so I know what to change?

• "residence" - What do you mean by residence? Is it a castle or something other?

• It's a country estate and they lived in the manor, I changed that as well.

• Any reason why she was known as Missy?

• Not particularly, no. Just a diminutive form of Marie.

• Where is Windsor Castle located?

• It's located in Windsor, in Berkshire. I've just added "Windsor", so as not to burden up the sentence. --Alex (talk) 13:18, 29 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

RRD13 (talk) 12:43, 29 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Upbringing

• In the previous section, we come to know that thier official residence was at Eastwell Manor, but in this section it is said "Clarence House, their official residence".
  • Fixed.
• "When he was home" - "When he was at home"
  • Fixed.
• "was closest to her sister Victoria Melita" - what do you mean by closest?
  • This means that they were very close emotionally, spending most of their time together.
• Do we call any person's parents by their profession?
  • I don't quite understand this one, sorry. --
• It's good to indicate the profession.Chocolate Charlie (talk) 07:06, 2 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Alex (talk) 15:21, 17 April 2014 (UTC) RRD13 (talk) 07:14, 2 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Marriage

• "Suitors" - what do you mean by it?
• The names of the kings should be linked.

RRD13 (talk) 07:59, 21 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

2nd reviewer

• Following this request, I'll finish off the review. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 09:57, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Tick box

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "

   clear and concise", without copyvios

   , or spelling and grammar errors:

   B.

   lists

   :

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an

   appropriate reference section

   :

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B.

   Focused

   :

4. Is it
   neutral
   ?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are

   copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content

   :

   B. Images are provided if possible and are

   suitable captions

   :

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

• Has an appropriate reference section. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 12:56, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• Article is stable. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 12:58, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• well written. Engaging style. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:07, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• Sourced. The article is well cited. It is problematic for readers and reviewers that most sources are in Romanian and/or print sources that are not available online; however, facts from the article that I checked were supported by online sources, other than the minor queries below. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:53, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• No evidence of OR in my checking. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:53, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• The article is richly detailed and expansive - it more than adequately meets the broad coverage requirement of GA. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 14:02, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Query

• Copyright concerns with File:Alfred and Maria with Missy.jpg, and File:Marie of Romania 1893.jpg; minor copyright concerns with File:1893 - Ferdinand şi Maria ca Principe şiPprincipesă de Coroană.PNG, File:Duckyandsisters.jpg, File:1917 - Regina Maria pe timpul vizitei într-un spital în anul 1917.jpg, File:1dec1918.jpg, File:Constantin Pascali - Regina Maria.jpg, File:Marie Coronation portrait.jpg, andFile:Queen Marie of Romania with children Nicolae and Ileana.jpg. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 12:46, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• The article is richly illustrated; however, there appears to be an over-abundance of images which result in some redundancy, which is against
  WP:LAYIM, another GA criteria. There are, for example, two images of the subject taken in 1893 with the same profile, given that one of them, File:Marie of Romania 1893.jpg, as noted above, has copyright issues, and is squeezing text, that seems a potential first candidate for removal. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 12:52, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply
  ]
• I'm not seeing any confirmation in relation to the Coronation Cathedral, Alba Iulia that "Marie had one built". I can see confirmation that it was built for the coronation, but not that Marie ordered it. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:25, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• Under
  WP:EL? SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:27, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply
  ]
• In relation to "Cotroceni Palace ... had been especially arranged for them by King Carol", what I am picking up from sources, such as this, is that Marie had significant input into the design and decoration of the palace (and a number of sources comment that a) she had appalling taste, and b) her apartments were more masculine that that of her husband - but that's a different matter!). What is the intent of the comment that the palace had been arranged by King Carol? Does that mean he arranged for them to stay there, rather than that he arranged the palace itself? SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:43, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
• Focus/Size. While no one section is disproportionate to another as regards detail and size, the article as a whole does take a while to cover what is not essentially a complex topic. At 50 kB (8530 words) of readable prose, it is right on the limit of the average concentration span so is demanding a lot of the reader, and is on the border of what is considered
  WP:TOOBIG for Wikipedia. Long articles are off-putting for many readers, and so a number of people may not even put in the effort of reading what is actually a damn fine piece of work. Interestingly I just took a look at the FAC, and noted a distinct lack of interest. Could well be the article size that put people off. In my experience it is a really hard thing to do to trim down an article, even harder for the people who spent a lot of time building the article up. However, I think some serious consideration should be given to trimming this to a more reasonable size in order to encourage more readers to engage with it, and to make it more manageable and enjoyable for those readers who do engage with it. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 14:16, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• Neutral. While on the whole the article is well balanced, describing both positive and negative aspects of the subject, there is "Marie attempted to stop the spread of the typhus plague sweeping through Moldavia" which, while she is well known for her treatment of sick soldiers, might be wording things a little strongly in terms of what she did. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 14:47, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Fail

General comments

• This source mentions that a short film was made of the coronation, which was then shown in theatres throughout Transylvania. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 13:20, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

On hold

An informative and attractively written and well sourced article. My quibbles are more to do with over-enthusiasm that anything else. Put simply: too many images and too much text. The article would benefit from some trimming. There is a chatty and informal style about the article, and it is those phrases which could be looked at first for trimming, that is, those phrases which are not informative and encyclopedic, but are adding human colouring, such as "Early on the morning of 10 October, Marie received a telephone call from Prince Știrbey, who informed her that she had become queen. Although she had been mentally preparing herself for her ascension for some time, the news came as a "colossal shock" to her." There is nothing essential there. The following sentence could be adjusted to read: "On 11 October 1914, Marie and Ferdinand were acclaimed as king and queen...." In the Domestic life section there is a lot of quoting from her diary in order to convey the nuances of the relationship. For readers who want such nuances, they can go to the diary themselves; the role of this Wikipedia article is to provide a concise overview of the topic. Wikipedia:Writing better articles gives some good advice. I'll put on hold for the standard initial seven days. I'm quite happy to expand that as long as progress is being made. And I'm quite willing to help out on trimming the text and images if needed. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 14:47, 3 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Listing

I have done the main points indicated above. There is still some trimming needed to be done to ensure the article is more focused in order to encourage more readers to engage with it, and to make it more manageable and enjoyable for those readers who do engage with it.; however, I'll not hold the listing up while waiting for that to be done. That can be part of ongoing development. In essence this is a very decent article. Listing as a Good Article. SilkTork ^{✔Tea time} 09:40, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]