Talk:No Man's Land (Koda Kumi song)

No Man's Land (Koda Kumi song) has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: April 4, 2016. (Reviewed version).

This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects:

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:16, 30 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 02:16, 30 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

• The single cover image needs an alt.
• I don't think that the cover image is acceptable here; it wasn't made specifically for "No Man's Land", so this cannot be the official cover, even if it was used for the promotional CD singles or whatever it was used for
• Change the genre from 'Rock music' to 'Rock'
• The track listing's numbers are messed up; it skips from 13 to 3...?
• Remove the "Miscellaneous" part from the infobox

Lead

Paragraph 2

• If 'heavy metal' is mentioned here, shouldn't it be mentioned above as well?
• "lovers life." → "lover's life."
• "favourable to mixed" → "mixed to positive"
• You need a period (.) at the end of the final sentence in this paragraph

Paragraph 3

• "Because it was released digitally, "No Man's Land"..." → "Due to "No Man's Land" being released digitally, it..."
• Shouldn't the semi-colon be a colon?

Background

• Remove the semi-colon after "main record labels"
• Remove "has" after "Mr. Blistah..."

Composition

Paragraph 1

• Nice addition of a sample!
• If she herself described the song as "Heavy metal", it should definitely be included in the genre(s) above in the infobox

Paragraph 2

• Remove "online store"
• Insert "the" before "English and Japanese language"
• Insert "s" after "English and Japanese language"

Release

• You could probably add this entire section to 'Background' and change the section title to 'Background and release'
• What do you mean by "Because Japonesque was released in Taiwan, the song and its music video was released on all formats?"; I don't see the relationship between the two
• "the song and its music video was released on all formats" → "the song and its music video were released on all formats"
• "same released date" → "same release date"

Critical and commercial responses

• Rename as "Critical reception"

Paragraph 1

• "Upon its release," → "After its release,"
• "favourable to mixed" → "mixed to positive"
• You use "commended" and "commending" a lot; you can also use "appreciated", "enjoyed", etc.
• Remove the link to Asian Junkie; it will be perfectly fine without one

Paragraph 2

• You can remove this entirely; it's too short to warrant a separate paragraph and it only charted in one country–see my point?

Music video

Background and synopsis

Paragraph 1

• Why is the text centered in the picture to the right?

Paragraph 3

• "cited it" → "declared it"

Release, controversy, and ban

• Unfortunately, I am not fluent (or even near fluent) in Japanese. And I do not know of how to contact a Japanese Wikipedian; since you are right about the original research part, I would remove the section entirely, and from the lead as well; let me know what you decide to do!

Live performances and other inclusions

• Remove this: "The performance at Kanagawa Arena on September 8 received positive remarks from music critics;" (It's unnecessary since each performance is the same.)

End of GA Review:

Another very good article; just some tidying up needs to happen. The music video controversy section should be removed so it doesn't include WP:OR. Thanks again! Carbrera (talk) 03:00, 2 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@CaliforniaDreamsFan: Are you done with this yet? I reread this and it looks fantastic. Carbrera (talk) 02:23, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@

WP:Original research category. I'll let you know once I'm done re-reading it. Cheers, CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:26, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply

]

@Carbrera: Done and dusted! CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 03:30, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]