Talk:Normal Is the Watchword

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This review is

transcluded from Talk:Normal Is the Watchword/GA1

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Reviewer: Gabriel Yuji (talk · contribs) 04:23, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this one. Comments should come soon. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 04:23, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

A few suggestions that you might like to ponder:

Lead

• It summarizes well the article and is accessible to readers who are not familiar to the series;
• You don't need to call Rob Thomas by his full name twice; and you shouldn't
  repeat the interlink
  .

• done

Synopsis

• I know in English language it's preferable to have short sentences than long ones. However, I guess the first two ("It is one day before senior year. Veronica is working a job at a restaurant.") can be reduced into something like "One day before senior year, Veronica is working a job at a restaurant.";

• done

• "Veronica sees an interview with her father" - you could add his name, because I was wondering who was Keith until reading the MTV source;

• done

• "We then flash back" - I think we should not use "we" per
  MOS:FIRSTPERSON
  , and it also sounds a bit informal. How about something like "The episode then flash backs"?;

• done

• Ehr, "flashes back" is better hehe... Gabriel Yuji (talk) 01:28, 31 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• cliffhanger should be linked here (because it's its first occurrence), not in "Arc significance"

• done

• "Next thing Logan knew, he woke up..." - I would replace the comma with a colon, or add "is that", or perhaps remove "Next thing Logan knew" and use something like a "then";

• done

• "Wallace (Percy Daggs III) says that he failed his drug test too and that Meg (Alona Tal) also failed her test." - Can I suggest "Wallace (Percy Daggs III) says that he and Meg (Alona Tal) also failed their drug test too."?;

• done

• "we flash back to show the details" - the same from another suggestion;

• done

• "Veronica talks to Meg, with whom she has had a falling out." - "Falling out" should be avoided per
  WP:IDIOM
  ;

• 'Replaced with estranged

• "Logan hangs out with Dick" - The same from above, although I guess it's more difficult to replace this one;

• Replaced with sunbathed--that's what they're doing

• "Veronica talks to Meg one more time, but she is still passive-aggressive" - worth a link to Passive-aggressive behavior?;

• done

• WP:TVPLOT recomends 200 to 500 words. There are, however, 610, according to this site
  .

• @
  talk 22:21, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• Hm, ok. I think that's acceptable. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 01:28, 31 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Arc significance

• Not a common section on episode's article. I can't remember if there's some guideline on it so I would have to ponder more to say it's not valid. However, if you feel it's relevant I'd consider "demoting" it as I remember Doctor Who episodes usually have a similar section titled "Continuity" (see: Boom Town (Doctor Who) or The Rings of Akhaten, for examples).

• This seems to be a common comment. I'll remove.
  talk 22:21, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• I'll move it to production.
  talk 22:21, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• done Oddly, I got most of this information after I first published the article, so that's probably why it's a bit jumbled.
  talk 22:21, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• The way I see it, it's just another review-esque rating from a notable online publication, so I think I'll keep it. :)
  talk 03:00, 31 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

The article is well written and well sourced, and it's very close to GA. My concerns are usually minor stuff related to prose and some guidelines. Two sections feel somewhat unnecessary and if I would have to elect a "major" problem it would be the plot, which is over 100 words (which is not that much) the recommended. Nice job, Ms! Gabriel Yuji (talk) 17:36, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you! I believe I have answered all of your comments. Let me know if you have any more questions or concerns! :)
  talk 03:00, 31 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• Ok,
  BenLinus1214, I've just passed it. Congratulations! (PS: On a last note, I'd only like to ask you for some consistency on italicizing publications. The A.V. Club, TV.com, Television Without Pity are, while PopMatters, BuzzFeed, and TVLine are not. What was your rationale on using or not italics?) Gabriel Yuji (talk) 05:50, 31 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

• Now that I think about it, probably all web-only publications should not be italicized.
  talk 12:55, 31 July 2015 (UTC)[reply
  ]

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