Template:Did you know nominations/Murder of Shuja Khanzada

Add links
Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
<
Template:Did you know nominations
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 12:35, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Murder of Shuja Khanzada

( Back to T:TDYK )
( Article history links:
)

Created by

talk), Mar4d (talk), and محمد افضل (talk). Nominated by George Ho (talk
) at 23:47, 22 August 2015 (UTC).

  • As someone who contributed significantly to this page, I don't feel it's appropriate for a DYK. A bit too morbid and disrespectful of the dead IMHO. An updated hook can be used for ITN.
    YO
    😜 01:46, 23 August 2015 (UTC)
  • Unfortunately, the ITN nomination was late, and many unrelated news from the same day of the incident were posted on ITN. Therefore, the story is... running out of its time to be posted. Once archived, it'll be too late. As for these hooks, I'll add more without being morbid and disrespectful:
  • ALT3: ... that Pakistani and politician ex-colonel
    Indo-Pakistani war in 1971
    ?
  • ALT3: ... that, before he was assassinated by
    Indo-Pakistani war in 1971
    ?

New enough, long enough. ALTs 3-5 short enough and sourced, but would all require a reference after them. No neutrality problems found, no copyright problems found. QPQ done and image properly licensed.--Launchballer 12:21, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

What do you mean "require a reference after them"? George Ho (talk) 14:22, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
euphemistic phrase "his demise at his home" makes it sound like he died of a fall, not from assassins' bombs. If the line in the lead of the Shuja Khanzada article, Appointed Home Minister in 2014, Khanzada spearheaded the campaign against terrorism and sectarian militancy in Punjab. could be sourced, that fact might make an effective hook in tandem with the attack. BlueMoonset (talk
) 15:21, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
Anything wrong with "demise at the the hands of assassins' bombs"?--Launchballer 17:29, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
That would make hooks longer. George Ho (talk) 21:16, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
Rewrote ALTs. George Ho (talk) 21:16, 14 October 2015 (UTC)
I don't have time to check them now, but does it make them longer than 200 characters? I'll check later, but if not, then what's the problem?--Launchballer 16:50, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
Launchballer, "demise at the the hands of assassins' bombs" is wordy as proposed and it's more than a bit odd to have "hands" and "bombs"? Why not "death from assassins' bombs"? George Ho, not only did you fail to fix "Pakistani and politician ex-colonel", you retained "throughout his military career", which is not only a waste of characters but makes no sense in context. If you aren't going to take more care with the hooks you propose in response to the issues raised, you need to be prepared for the nomination to be closed as unsuccessful. BlueMoonset (talk) 18:07, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
Good enough for me. I await an appropriate ALT.--Launchballer 21:15, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
I overlooked. I was so busy with other things, yet I forgot one slight error describing the person. As for "throughout his military career", I'll fix it soon. George Ho (talk) 22:35, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
...Actually, I eliminated the phrase as redundant. George Ho (talk) 22:37, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
A minor point: shouldn't ALTs 3–5 read "by a house bomb explosion" rather than "by house bomb explosion"? —
talk
13:02, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
I agree, and I'm not happy because they've just been edited by Gatoclass and I'd already approved them, so it embarrasses me. We usually create new ALTs rather than edit them.--Launchballer 13:08, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
  • (Edit conflict) The addendum about the 13th lancers in ALT5 is anticlimactic. Suggested rephrase:
  • ALT6: ... that the Pakistani politician, ex-colonel and former commander of the
    assassinated by a house bomb? Gatoclass (talk
    ) 13:09, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
Sorry for adding to the vexation in this nomination,
talk
13:34, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
If you read the article, the attack was carried out by two suicide bombers. So maybe it would be more accurate to say "assassinated in a suicide bombing?" or "assassinated by suicide bombers"? Gatoclass (talk) 14:06, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
Neither
WP:DYKSG state anything as far as I can see, but I say only edit unapproved hooks to remove blatant spelling and grammar errors.--Launchballer
14:13, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

I'll rephrase it for you:

  • ALT6b: ... that the Pakistani politician, ex-colonel and ex-commander of the
    assassinated with a house bomb
    ?
  • ALT6c: ... that
    assassinated with a house bomb
    ?

I also rephrased ALTs 3–5. George Ho (talk) 20:44, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Very nearly there. Of the two, I prefer ALT6b. However, shouldn't it be the Pakistani politican, ex-colonel and ex-commander?--Launchballer 01:36, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Added "the". George Ho (talk) 02:10, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
I still think "assassinated by suicide bombers" is more accurate and reads better. Gatoclass (talk) 04:01, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Here you go:
  • ALT7: ... that the Pakistani politician, ex-colonel and ex-commander of the
    assassinated by suicide bombers
    ?
George Ho (talk) 04:42, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Thanks. Gatoclass (talk) 07:53, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Good to go with ALT7.--Launchballer 10:52, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Did_you_know_nominations/Murder_of_Shuja_Khanzada&oldid=1017918494"