User:Margalob/Aunt Betty
Aunt Betty | |
---|---|
Spouse(s) | Biggs Goldman, Some sort of latrine |
Theme song: | |
"Timber" | |
Twitter Handle: | |
@YoMomma | |
Website | www.BestAuntBettyEvah.com |
Signature | |
According to Sherry Manning, "development director" of the massively successful[
Early life and also too later life, also
A direct descendant of Vasquez de Gama (brother of
At the age of 19, she became the youngest-ever
Though she is mostly harmless, she became a suspect in several murders in Portland's
Recently[
Upon the legalization of recreational pot in Oregon in 2015, she was ambivalent to the whole matter due to her long-term usage of weed, like a lot of Oregonians,[citation needed] so that she really was unaware of the change (though senility may have kicked in). The senility may explain why she can't shut her pie hole at Thanksgiving dinner, always talking about her damn ailments, which aren't even that bad because she uses marijuana to treat pain.[19]
Latterly, or possibly second- or thirdly, when serving controversially as the "First Consort" of Oregon
Characteristics
Politically, Aunt Betty is an independent, much like Oregon's own maverick reputation, but not in a Sarah Palin way. Speaking of mavericks, coincidentally Maverick was both shot and filmed and set in the mighty Beaver State, and rumor has it that Aunt Betty may have had a love child with one of the cast members, bringing her total of love-childs with actors to a solid two, though mathematically the number would be 1.7 after adjusting for the known probabilities that alleged occurrences occurred.[24]
In mid-life, Betty became VERY well known for being the only Oregonian to marry a toilet. Soon after that, she mellowed and apparently become astronomically famous for her roast potatoes,[25] but horribly infamous for her soggy coleslaw.[26] She has never heard of cantaloupes, but she does believe in sarcasm.[27] One time, at band camp, she made sweet love to a Bigfoot. However, detectives were unable to determine if the Sasquatch was injured.
Religiously, she has
In fact, she often fights with her neighbors over their unruly Native rhododendrons, and has resorted to tasing "innocent" neighborhood street urchins when they play on her lawn.[17] Her brash horticultural manners, especially her upkeep of a mysterious rose garden in Portland, have led some writers to label her "certainly strange", "certainly not worthless", and "possibly evil".[17] She also heroically refuses to accept the fact that Oregon is Idaho's Portugal despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary provided by culturally out-dated people who use the internets.
Legacy (not the hospitals)
Due to the unresolved nature of the dispute over her age, the Oregon Legislative Assembly has repeatedly declined to name Betty "Mother Queen of Oregon,"[31] leaving Mary Ramsey Wood's undisputed claim to that title intact. Though some people claim it is actually a vastly large conspiracy to cover up the truth, and all those who participate in said conspiracy will be sent to prison, especially if they are cowboys.
Though if Betty is dead, her remains may now qualify as "soil". Thus a tiny group of very cheery schoolchildren at a very small quaint schoolhouse nestled in a stunning and large panoramic dell with a rich deep important history in the Mid-Valley may petition the legislature to name Betty as the
Aunt Betty was the inspiration for at least one cook book,
Research issues
A possible explanation for the conflicting information is that numerous different Oregon natives may have shared the characteristics of being named Betty, and of being someone's aunt, or have ancestors named Betty—for example, Betty Rubble.[35]
"You should see the pile of census records we've compiled," stated one Wikipedia editor, who, like many of their kind, wished to remain anonymous. "When you have hundreds, possibly thousands, of documents reflecting different ages, among other contradictory evidence, you have to wonder whether they are all records of the same Aunt Betty or not."[citation needed]
Another research area that merits investigation is Aunt Betty's relationship with Weird Al, whom she either inspired to become a Wikipedia editor or who may have edited an unauthorized biography of Aunt Betty on Wikipedia.[36]
In a particularly confusing and insidious development for researchers, Google has associated Aunt Betty with Tupperware in many search results in which drag queen Aunt Barbara became a top Tupperware seller.[37] In addition, an impostor began posting advice about the use of Tupperware in a chat room about duck hunting, using the handle “Aunt Betty” and the tagline, “INTERNET CREDIBILITY is…an OXYMORON."[38]
With the 2013 discovery of the
References
- ^ ISBN 9781445628950. Retrieved 10 November 2015.
- ^ "Aunt Betty". Wikipedia. Retrieved 31 January 2016.
- ^ note: a billy tees
- strata, I guess).
- ^ "Homepage". AuntBerryRocks. Aunt Betty. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ "aunt betty". Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ Muldoon, Katy (14 February 2008). "Call it Oregon-pedia". The Oregonian. Archived from the original on 2 October 2012. Retrieved 16 February 2012.
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(help) - ^ http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Oregon&diff=prev&oldid=342339265
- ^ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Oregon_Coast#Requested_move
- ^ Saker, Ann (11 January 2010). "Portland State prof takes on a new kind of museum: one on the Internet using a Wikipedia model". The Oregonian. Archived from the original on 21 July 2015. Retrieved 11 January 2010.
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suggested) (help) - ^ "Aunt Betty's Revenge". Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ http://www.worldwizzy.com/library/Mick_Wagner
- ^ "D.B. Cooper Redux: Help Us Solve the Enduring Mystery". Federal Bureau of Investigation. 31 December 2007. Archived from the original on 5 December 2015. Retrieved 20 January 2016.
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- ^ Per personal interview with Silvertons', Bobbie, the, Wonder, Collie
- ^ a b c d With-an-Axe-to-Grind, Overeducated Pulitzer Prize-Winning Reporter (Never 12, 2525). Willamette Week.
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(help) - ^ Call the Kiteman!
- ^ "I'm Letting Aunt Betty Feel Awkward This Thanksgiving". glaad. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ "Remember the Maine!". Retrieved 11 November 1911.
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(help) - ^ "Gravity Falls". Retrieved 14 February 1859.
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(help) - ^ "Revelations From Governor's Fiancee Show Flair For Scandal In Oregon". Them Liberal Medias. Retrieved 21 May 2016.
- ^ Bird, State
- ^ Math class
- ISBN 9781465733313.
- ^ "Badass Foodie: This Ain't Your Aunt Betty's Soggy Coleslaw! - Badass Fitness". badassfitness.typepad.com. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ Henshaw, Nevil Gratiot (1909). Aline of the Grand Woods: A Story of Louisiana. Outing Publishing Company. pp. 201, 261. Retrieved 10 November 2015.
- ^ "Aunt Betty on Organized Religion". The Lester & Charlie Review. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ "Aunt Betty on Religion". The Lester & Charlie Review. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ "Aunt Betty's Almanac: On Faith". The Lester & Charlie Review. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ Footnote withheld: supporting legislative records may not be reproduced here, as they are protected by copyright.
- ^ "Pep Rally". xkcd. p. 42. Retrieved 24 November 2009.
- ^ Lippman, Betty F. (1918). Aunt Betty's Cook Book. Bacharach Press. Retrieved 10 November 2015.
- ^ Source
- ^ "Aunt Betty: An interesting-sounding, comprehensive, and utterly unretrievable essay of her life and works". The Oregonian. Sometime prior to 1989. Retrieved never.
- ^ "The Oregon Encyclopedia". www.oregonencyclopedia.org. Retrieved 2015-11-23.
- ^ "Google". www.google.com. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ "Kayak/Layout dry storage : Waterfowl Boats, Motors, & Boat Blinds". www.duckhuntingchat.com. Retrieved 2 November 2015.
- ^ Curtin, Barbara (12 April 2014). "Oregon Encyclopedia delves into state's people, places and plants". Statesman-Journal. Retrieved 10 November 2015.
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