User:TeeRenTee/sandbox

Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Description of Problems in the Horror Film article

The Wikipedia article on "Horror Film" has a lot of information about the topic, but it does have some issues along with it. It shows bias in various portions of the article. This is especially bad in the "Influences" section of the article. Taken directly from the article, "The importance that horror films have gained in the public and producers’ eyes is one obvious effect on our society." This couldn't get much more biased. Along with that bias, comes what I have to assume is original research into society. With a lack of citations there, it must have been a biased opinion being used by the writer. By removing or revising this portion of the article, it will greatly improve. That does not mean, however, that the rest of the article is perfect. The 1990s section of the article has a huge lack of citations that need to be found. This makes the entire section useless because it needs citations. The other big issue I've found with this article is the huge quantity of examples that are used to explain different eras of movies. For most of them, a long list of movies from a certain time period are used to help explain the films from then, but that is useless information if people haven't seen them.

Original Section to be edited:

The financial successes of the low-budget gore films of the ensuing years, and the critical and popular success of Rosemary's Baby, led to the release of more films with occult themes in the 1970s.

The Exorcist
(1973), the first of these movies, was a significant commercial success and was followed by scores of horror films in which a demon entity is represented as the supernatural evil, often by impregnating women or possessing children.

"Evil children" and reincarnation became popular subjects. Robert Wise's film Audrey Rose (1977) for example, deals with a man who claims that his daughter is the reincarnation of another dead person. Alice, Sweet Alice (1977), is another Catholic-themed horror slasher about a little girl's murder and her sister being the prime suspect. Another popular occult horror movie was The Omen (1976), where a man realizes that his five-year-old adopted son is the Antichrist. Invincible to human intervention, Demons became villains in many horror films with a postmodern style and a dystopian worldview. Another example is The Sentinel (1977), in which a fashion model discovers that her new brownstone residence may actually be a portal to Hell. Notable examples of this subject from the late 1980s are Child's Play (1988), Night of the Demons (1988), and Pet Sematary (1989).

Revision of Section:

The 1970s began a new age for horror films with the transition from "classic" to modern horror. Horror films started to focus more on aggressiveness and ruthlessness while also focusing more on artistic qualities and societal themes.[1] This era of horror films has been regarded as a "golden age" that transformed the genre by having it "grow up" while showing that horror can be artistic.[2]

The 1970s was an era dominated by American horror films. Unlike the past, which was influenced heavily by European film-makers, Americans breathed a new life into a dying genre. Modern horror films did not rely on repetition of the same style and format used previously; rather, it took the expected roles of characters in the films and changed them. This era changed the usual setting for horror films. It started using every-day settings for the films and stopped focusing on . Along with this came a change from focusing on defeating evil every time to having some instances where good fails before succeeding. The critical and popular success of Rosemary's Baby, led to the release of more films with occult themes in the 1970s. The Omen (1976), where a man realizes that his five-year-old adopted son is the Antichrist. Invincible to human intervention, Demons became villains in many horror films with a postmodern style and a dystopian worldview[2]

Wenqi's Feedback

You did a good job paraphrasing your source. Please see the above comment in the brackets. Also think about how to combine your texts with the existing texts. How will the list of film names relate to your texts? I like your contribution.

Feedback:

I think you could add more information to this paragraph. For example, when you expressed the roles of characters in films changed, how did they change, what were these roles changed to? Also you could explain the correlation between horror films and societal hierarchy, and explain what societal hierarchy is. Explain more of what led horror films to become popular in the 1970's. You did good on sentence structure and the flow of your revision is great. You kept a leveled tone; you did not get defensive or aggressive. The source that you used is a good source and it is constant with relevancy. You organized your information fluently. Just use more information from your source. (Mya Barker)

Alyssa's Feedback

I think you did a good job at paraphrasing the source by taking key points and putting them in your own writing. It is well organized and has an appropriate tone and language for a Wikipedia article. I do not think there is anything that needs to be changed in particular, but I do agree with Mya's feedback where she said you could add more information. Maybe you could incorporate more information about the history of horror films.

Sequoia's Feedback

Overall I think your paraphrase is well-written and translates well. I do have one suggestion about your sentence structure. In the first paragraph of your revision you have "The 1970s began a new age for horror films with the transition from 'classic' to modern horror." In the second paragraph you have "The 1970s was an era dominates by American horror films." I do believe the second sentence is better suited for your revision in a sense that it strikes the reader as a stronger sentence. Is it possible for you to differentiate between the importance of the "dominated era" and the "new age of horror"? Otherwise I think the tone and flow stylistically reflect those of the article. Good job paraphrasing!

Sstauffer21 (talk) 15:38, 22 February 2019 (UTC)

  1. OCLC 15283232.{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: others (link
    )
  2. ^ a b Hutchings, Peter (2013). The Horror Film. Hoboken: Routledge. pp. 170–171.
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