User:Uwurawr123456/sandbox
In our modern scientific civilisation it seems incredible that for over 450 years, people like
Conclusive Proof
Go to Google Earth on your computer, now look very, very carefully at the screen. Put your face right up close to it and squint along the surface: see?- flat as a pancake! Except for the mountains. Look at any part of the Earth you like, even Russia, and you'll see the same thing.
Origins of the Flat Earth Theory
During his early experiments with
Initial reception was skeptical. Generally, people quite naturally accepted whatever the Beijing government told them, because they knew they would be tortured and killed if they didn't, but Patrik's enthusiasm slowly won them over. Evidence was, after all, overwhelming. Nobody had ever heard of a person rolling along the ground and gathering momentum till they shot off the Earth and hurtled into space, and when you put a thing down on the table, it generally stayed on the table, unless it melted or was stolen. So Patrik was borne on bony shoulders and immolated on a Great Fire, joining the pantheon of Chinese heroes known as the Great Martyrs, who were venerated for ever by the common people. Once word of Patrik's fame spread to Beijing, his mother and father were captured and squashed by Party edict, and their bloody remains smeared on the faces of schoolchildren. China is a sophisticated place, and the children quickly understood that what the government said, went. That was progress!
Round Earth Theory
Basically, the Round Earth theory says that God has the whole world in his hand. Yet if the world were round, it would roll out of God's hand and into space, quickly becoming either burnt to a crisp by the heat of the Sun or freezing into ice in the dark vacuum of space. In some versions of the theory God is a turtle.
What is worse is that if enough people think the world is round, it will in fact become round and will in fact roll out of God's hand and into damnation.
We came dangerously close to this happening before the war to bring
The Modern Flat Earth Theory
The Modern Flat Earth Theory (aka MFET, not MILF) has been expanded to include more than just the notion that the planet is not round.
The Flat Earth Reality now includes new and improved hokum, like
Connection with Creationism
People believing that the earth is flat call themselves Flat Urthers. Flat Urthers are allied with Creationists and Scientologists through the organisation called Creationists United with Numerologists, The Scientologists, and The Flat-Urthers, lead by Prof. Kent Hovind. After the Flat-Urther's took over the Macgellan space agency in Nigeria, the giant gorilla Condoleeza Rice took advantage of the large amount of bananas in the agency and proved the flat -earth theory.
Proof
Any image taken from space will show that Earth is indeed flat. There is no photographic proof that states or implies otherwise. All images of a round Earth have been
When drawn as a map, continents must appear "stretched," as the array of continents on the map are larger than the flat surface itself. This is explained by the continents "scrolling" across this circular or disc-like surface in a marquee fashion, in the same way that a camera must pan across a long scene or a large computer graphic must scroll across due to the limited size of the user's monitor.
Early thinkers once believed the Earth was in fact a Earth Ball|ball, and it turns out that this was once true, but no longer. Christopher "Chris" Columbus thought the Earth was round, and set out to find India by going round the planet. The Earth, as things turned out, was indeed flat, and he ended up in America, the biggest mistake in the history of mankind. All because it was a common notion that the earth was round. (see Ferdinand Magellan)
It should be worth noting that current thinking on this theory is that Earth was at one time round, with crease-marks found just south-north of Texas suggesting that it got crushed by a cosmic steamroller around 25,000 BC, since which time Earth has been completely flat, and failed to regain any of its former rotundity.
If the Earth was round, all the water in the oceans would just slide down to the bottom of the sphere. However, because the Earth is flat, the water pools up to form oceans. This also helps explain the Ugandan floods of 23 BC.
Flat Earth and Global Warming
One consequence of the Flat Earth theory is a neat and indisputable disproof of the theory of
Others have suggested that Planar Warming might cause the surface of the planet to expand and become convex to the point that it becomes a sphere. This has led to another bunch of idiots pointlessly suggesting that the Earth was a disc as some point in the past, only becoming globular during the industrial revolution.
Famous Flat Earth believers
The bible says it is true... So it must be true!