User talk:Daniellelp

Hello, Daniellelp, and

! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:11, 12 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Danielle, I really like your use of headers and subheaders, I think that it makes your section easy to read and understand. I think that the addition of hyperlinks to other topics may help as well e.g. for congenital you include a brief description but you could add a link to the congenital disorders wikipedia page. I think that you referenced everything very well. The only thing that I would advise, is that you use more than 1 source (providing that they exist). I think that everything was clear, concise, and sounded very encyclopedic, which is the goal. That being said, because the literature on voice on wikipedia is limited, I would avoid saying things like vocal fold pareseis is as common as vocal fold paralysis. This doesn't help the reader since there is no page for vocal fold paralysis. I think it would be better if you quantified the condition or said there is not sufficient info. The comparison is not very helpful. All in all, I think that you did a very good job!! Kepp up the good work! Cleo — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cleotheslp (talk • contribs) 02:52, 30 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

	The Original Barnstar
	Constructive and detailed review; nice draft of the article. SCSD639 (talk) 17:23, 31 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]