Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/2007 Canadian Grand Prix/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 00:00, 16 July 2007.

2007 Canadian Grand Prix

Modeled on 2007 Malaysian Grand Prix. Already GA. Seems well enough set out.

Buc 10:32, 9 July 2007 (UTC)[reply
]

Changing to oppose. Blnguyen is right. T. Moitie [talk] 08:57, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • British GP looks abouts the same length. Looks good, nominate it if you want.
    Buc 17:33, 9 July 2007 (UTC)[reply
    ]
Its up for peer review, I want to make sure its top of the range before I nominate. T. Moitie [talk] 17:55, 9 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment: If it's still on peer review I'd suggest removing from here so we don't waste reviewers time. While I'm here though, I'll just mention that the results table includes links to
    Team McLaren, which should be changed to plain McLaren to avoid a redirect. Links to Mercedes-Benz should probably be changed to Mercedes-Benz in motorsport, which is more relevant here. Cheers. 4u1e 18:50, 9 July 2007 (UTC)[reply
    ]
Sorry if I confused you here, I was talking about the 2007 British Grand Prix in a line of conversation up there. T. Moitie [talk] 19:47, 9 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose - The race report simply is not comprehensive enough. There is no description of how Hamilton built up a lead in the first stint, there is then only a mention of a safety car and Kubica crashing, but it is not mentioned that Kubica's crash immediately after the first safety car caused the second deployment. Also the further safety car deployments need to be mentioned and eplained, and how they mixed up the race situation needs to be explained. There were numerous driver battles that are not mentioned at all, also Trulli and Rosberg doing a synchronised spin isn't mentioned etc etc. Also the race report is shorter than the qualifying and practice which shows why it is not substantial enough. The significance of Hamilton's debut win should be discusssed, and so should the fact that Ferrari did very poorly and that both Massa and Raikkonen conceding a lot of ground in the points race with Raikkonen. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 08:00, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • Done to the best of my ability.
      Buc 18:02, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply
      ]
  1. "with the track set up to replicate, set up to replicate the"
  2. Regarding Paul Ricard - it says on the 17 May - and then talks about "previous 2 days" and last 2 days which is confusing. Should be 17-20 May if those were the dates.
  3. "On lap 37, Trulli and Nico Rosberg are battling for position" is a lapse into present tense when the article is in past tense.
  4. "Both spin off the track in almost synchronised fashion touching each other" - they didn't touch.
  5. "This was an amussing occurrence" -- see
    Wikipedia:Words to avoid
  6. Numerous spelling mistakes in last para.
  7. " BMW Sauber showed good results from Nick Heidfeld" -- similar point as before - you don't "show" a result.
  8. See
    Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates and numbers)
    regarding times.
  9. "Heidfeld drove very well to take third position, " -- that's POV without a full analysis - did the Ferraris make errors? Did Heidfeld qualify with a heavy fuel load??
  10. As for "unfortunately" - I take your point and WP:WTA agrees, but states "Avoiding the adverb altogether and just stating the fact may be even better:" Mark83 19:42, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
All Done
Buc 08:53, 14 July 2007 (UTC)[reply
]
The reason for 9. is there, but needs a little work. The point was that there had been 5 whole races without a none McLaren or Ferrari driver on the podium and he was the first driver the entire season to achieve a podium and not drive for either team. To extend that point, you could talk about how McLaren and Ferrari have the most competitive cars on the track (not POV, very very verifiable fact). T. Moitie [talk] 22:27, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
No sorry, I profoundly disagree. Q3 produces skewed results. You cannot say P1 best, P2 a bit worse, P3 a bit worse still. For example consensus on Saturday was the best Q3 lap was Lewis Hamilton's. However Martin Brundle said on race day (and The Times said on Monday) that when fuel was considered, Alonso put in a better qualifying lap than Hamilton. No one can argue that the McLarens and Ferraris are by quite a margin the best cars so far this year, but Heidfeld could have been fuelled significantly lighter to produce a flattering quali position - whereas the Ferrari drivers could have put in much better laps, but the fuel/weight penalty would make the laps look comparatively bad. Mark83 22:46, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Just to clarify - when I say Saturday - I meant the British GP, not the article subject. Mark83 22:48, 13 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose - This article still fails 1a in my opinion. I am not a grammatical expert and will admit that I find it hard to distinguish between very good and "brilliant". However I can tell a difference between adequate and very good/brilliant. This is only adequate prose. Now I could keep on highlighting examples, but frankly I have put in quite a bit of effort already. The text needs a thorough review. e.g. "Qualifying saw Hamilton take his first pole position, in a McLaren one-two on the front row.[16] Heidfeld had an improvement drive to take third position, in front of the Ferraris of Räikkönen and Massa." -- "one two on the front row" is redundant - a one-two only can be the front row - a one-two on the second row is a three-four! "Heidfeld had an improvement drive" does not make any sense. Mark83 23:02, 15 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
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