Talk:Female labor force in the Muslim world

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This article is very thorough, with many wonderful theoretical explanations and pertinent statistics throughout. There are some revisions, though, that need to be made. Remember to follow capitalization rules for all headings on sections and subsections. More links are needed throughout to guide readers to applicable articles. Also, there are minor grammatical and technical errors throughout. Moreover, the article is very dense, and it may be helpful to break it into further sub-sections. Below are notes on specific sections and subsections:

Lead section: The very beginning of the lead section can be improved by starting with a brief definition of the females labor force in the Muslim world, rather than jumping in directly with an explanation of why women are important economic actors and a description of the of female labor force participation rate. In fact, this information seems inappropriate for the lead section and should instead be included later in the article. Include links for items such as the United Nations, the World Bank, etc. The focus of the lead article can be more on Islam and a brief differentiation between the Islamic female labor force and that of different religions, cultures, and regions.

Majority Muslim Nations: Great explanations and statistics! The charts are very useful additions to this section.

Female-to-Male Ratio: It would be helpful to include links for all nations mentioned in this section. Also, include links for the International Labor Organization.

Female Employment Characteristics: Throughout this section, there are a few minor grammatical errors that can be fixed.

Salaried Work: Continue to add links where applicable.

Employees and self-employed: What are hierarchical or rigid labor markets? Either include links for these or briefly define.

Executive Positions: Analysis in this section was excellent, particularly with implications of females holding management and upper-level positions.

Islam is the problem/Islam is not the problem/Radical Islam is the problem: These subsection titles comes off as biased, and out of context (or even in context), could be read as offensive. These two sections read almost as if part of an opinion piece or, and cannot work alone as separate entities. “It is not that majority Muslim nations are intrinsically predisposed to gender inequality; it is that ultra conservative regimes are.” The wording of this sentence comes off as extremely biased, and it must be revised so that the tone is much more neutral.

This article is coming along very nicely, and I look forward to re-visiting it as revisions continue to be made. Heidimkahle (talk) 06:21, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the advice! I have added several more links throughout the article, changed the wording of the section Islam and gender inequality, and have rewritten the introduction to be more specific to the topic. I also edited the article for grammar mistakes. DanSCohen (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 19:42, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, excellent article. Your use of pictures and tables throughout the article is well-placed and useful in understanding the many statistics that you present. Additionally, I think your article does a nice job of creating a general picture of labor participation in the Muslim world and gradually getting more and more specific/specialized throughout.

My main critique is of the sections listed under "Claims of Gender Inequality in the Muslim World". Make sure to pay extra attention to you neutrality. Some of your phrases, such as, "perhaps the most blatant discriminatory policy", have the potential to cross the line of neutrality. Additionally, I think there is room for expansion in the discussion on whether or not Islam "is the problem" - perhaps you could expand more on what specific characteristics of the religion potentially contribute to female discrimination vs. how specific characteristics of the religion have been transformed/misinterpreted to fit the norms of culturally-based discrimination, and how that manifests itself in female participation in the labor market. I would also be interested to see some expansion on the term "Islamic feminism" under the section "Radical Islam is the Problem".

Beyond that, your article is well-written and informative - great job! Hmccann (talk) 15:27, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the advice Haley! I changed the wording in the section on "Claims of Gender Inequality in the Muslim World" to be more neutral. I will also look into expanding the section on Islam promoting gender inequality. DanSCohen (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 19:44, 6 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I would suggest you to add the citations in a proper format, for help you can see Wikipedia:Citation templates. I bare URLs need to added in a proper format at the earliest. Amartyabag ^TALK2ME 09:56, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]