Talk:Louis Timothee/GA1
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:26, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Worth mentioning in the lead he was from the Netherlands.
- Done
- Those "colonies" link to "province" articles, is that more appropriate for them?
- Done
- ". A couple of newspapers ..." perhaps, "... publishing newspapers which included..."
- Done
- "30 Dec 1738 (age 39)" odd short date format.
- Done
- Normally the birth/death date details are included after the name in the lead.
- Done
- You say The Netherlands in the infobox but Hollandin the article, these are not equivalent.
- Done
- "USA" -> "US".
- Done
- "08 Dec 1726" again, odd short date format and we don't need leading zeroes on dates.
- Done
- "lived in Rotterdam after they fled France and went to Holland" split sentence, and link Rotterdam.
- Done
- "in the Netherlands he" link it here if you're going to use Holland before.
- Done
- "September 21, 1731" which date format is this article using?
- Done
- Link British America.
- Done
- "Philadelphia, Timothy advertised" he advertised
- Done
- "public French School" link public appropriately, and what is meant exactly by a "French School"? Is it just a
"French-language school" in reality?
- Done
- "Timothy got acquainted" got->became.
- Done
- "His first attempt at a newspaper was " quick repeat of "newspaper", suggest a re-word.
- Done
- "by Franklin.[1] Franklin" repetitive.
- Done
- "Franklin furnished up front" avoid repeating "furnished" so quickly, perhaps "provided" or "lent" or similar.
- Done
- "the yellow fever disease" just "yellow fever" is fine.
- Done
- "Timothy did well as a newspaper publisher" in what sense?
- Done
- Is there a link for postmaster which is appropriate?
- Done
- "business to an assortment of jobs, including books" -> "business to include books"
- Done
- "In this period Timothy's son Peter was beginning" -> "During this period, Timothy's son Peter began..."
- Done
- "to do the" perform?
- Done
- "would get the" get or inherit? Or take over?
- Done
- "discussion group. The group" repetitive.
- Done
- "no full time" full-time
- Done
- "salaried librarian in " linked too late, and repetitive, the word "librarian" is already in this sentence.
- Done
- "three pounds sterling" £3, link and inflate.
- Done
- "arranged with Benjamin Franklin" no need for Benj.
- Done
- "1733. He started" merge short sentences.
- Done
- "four of which were children born in" four of whom were born in
- Done
- "This was the third year Timothy had arrived" It was three years since Timothy's arrival...
- Done
- "shop Timothy continued" comma after shop.
- Done
- "He died after this announcement two months later" He died two months after this announcement...
- Done
- "sure. In fact on" -> "sure. In contrast, on...
- Done
- "had put in a special clause inserted" had included a special clause in
- Done
- "partnership contract that his eldest son Peter could succeed him" didn't you already mention that?
- Done
- "of 2nd page" second, 3rd -> third etc.
- Done
- That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:44, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for review. Will get started immediately in resolving the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:40, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:09, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Louis had a wife from the Netherlands. He doesn't have anything up on me. I have a wife from Groningen -> 50 years October 29. Louis' wife Elizabeth Timothy was the first female publisher of a newspaper in American and I hope she becomes a Good Article someday.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:09, 10 September 2021 (UTC)