Talk:The Last of Us: American Dreams

Good Article review progress box WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

1a

• "Hicks joined the project after discovering about Ellie's role in the game" Cut about.
• "This created an interesting idea for Druckmann, who became intrigued in discovering the effects of everyday actions in a post-apocalyptic world." in --> with
• "which is particularly due to Ellie's young age." The source suggests that partially might be a better fit than particularly.
• The Plot section can be trimmed a little. Suggested changes:

• "but the latter is caught by one of the authority figures, who assigns her to cleaning duty." --> "but the latter is caught and assigned to cleaning duty."
• "While she is completing the chore, she realizes that Riley stole her Walkman,[8] and later demands that she return it; Riley reluctantly returns it, after making sarcastic comments." --> "While she is completing the chore, she realizes that Riley stole her Walkman,[8] and later demands that she return it, which riley reluctantly does."
• "At night, Ellie hears footsteps outside her room, and tracks them down. She finds that Riley is attempting to sneak out of the school, and demands to accompany her." --> "At night, Ellie catches Riley attempting to sneak out of the school, and demands to accompany her."
• "recognized Ellie, and demanded" --> "recognizes Ellie, and demands"
• "Riley later claims to Marlene that she would like to join their group.[16] Marlene refuses this, stating the danger that it would involve. They argue about it, which results in Marlene threatening to shoot Riley.[17]" --> "When Riley claims she would like to join the group and Marlene refuses, the two argue, resulting in Marlene threatening to shoot Riley."
• "Ellie intervenes, holding Marlene at gunpoint and demanding for her to explain how she knows information about Ellie." --> "Ellie intervenes, demanding at gunpoint that Marlene explain how she knows information about Ellie."
• "Ellie becomes angry and suggests running away, but Riley informs her that this will just result in death." --> "Ellie suggests running away, but Riley informs her that this will just result in death."

• "IGN's Jesse Schedeen felt that the story serves" serves --> served
• "readers who have not played the game" have --> had
• "the final issue attempts to fit too much content" attempts --> attempted, fit to include
• sub-part should be sub-par
• "Alasdair Stuart of SciFiNow wrote that the art is" is --> was
• "felt that the art style works" works --> worked
• "comic heavily relies" relies --> relied
• "that its art style gives" gives --> gave
• "stating that it contains" contains --> contained

1b

• Link Ellie once in the lead and the first time her name appears in the body of the article. Subsequent links aren't needed.
• Likewise, you probably don't need to link anything in the caption of the image of Druckmann.
• You mention in the lead that the issues were collected in an edition published October 2013. This does not come up anywhere else; I'd suggest a separate section beneath Issues with a listing of the collected edition to justify this.

2a

• Do you have an ISBN for Ref 1 (it's a book, right?)

2b, 2c

• Well cited throughout, using a variety of secondary sources (all of which are ARCHIVED, thank you!)

3

• Covers major elements in detail.
• Does not go on tangents.

4

• Gives due weight to criticism. Looks good!

5

• No warring. Very stable.

6

• Good inclusion of images (2 nonfree, properly tagged; 1 free, hosted on Commons with proper attribution and info).

Just a couple more things to do,