User talk:Onel5969/Archive 23

This is an archive of past discussions. Do not edit the contents of this page. If you wish to start a new discussion or revive an old one, please do so on the current talk page.

Archive 20

Archive 21

Archive 22

Archive 23

Archive 24

Archive 25

→

Archive 30

Archive 23: October 2015

§§Dharmadhyaksha§§ {Talk / Edits} 05:23, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Draft:Kruchkov, Kozma Firsovich you gave your reasoning in the edit summary as not meeting BLP requirements, but the subject has been dead 90 years. I'm not saying it should have been accepted, but the edit summary might be confusing to the submitter. GraemeLeggett (talk) 09:23, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi GraemeLeggett - I agree that could be confusing. The actual decline comment on the draft page, however, doesn't mention the blp issue, just simply inline referencing. Can't change the edit summary, it's a canned response when you decline an article due to inline citations (I guess since that's the usual case). The link on the declination points to the correct policy, which is inclusive of all in-line requirements, not just those for blp's.

Onel5969 ^{TT me} 23:41, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey,

Thanks for reviewing the article

, and for giving me some pointers on it - looking forward to amending it to a high quality so it can be approved in the future. I'll take a look at how to write better articles and the manual of style, as well as the citations, but if you have any specific examples you could give of language that would be much appreciated.

I also saw your comment on notability - I've had a look at the notability guidelines and I'm pretty sure the subject matches them. To the main issue of notability, Lloyd Newson has seen reviews or features in many news outlets, including The Guardian, The Independent, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail, The London Evening Standard, The Financial Times (UK), and internationally, The New York Times, Le Monde, The Australian, The Irish Times, Kurier, Der Standard, Neues Deutschland, Le Figaro. He has also seen numerous independent academic articles, as well as biographies etc in published books (as footnoted in the article). Additionally, for creative figures the below criteria are offered:

• This person is regarded as an important figure and is widely cited by peers or successors - Wikipedia itself has various articles on dancers which cite Lloyd Newson as an influence; there are also various books referencing him (cited in the article) and more in-depth academic papers which I can also add.
• This person is known for originating a significant new concept, theory or technique - Wikipedia's own page for Physical Theatre cites Lloyd Newson specifically and the style of his work as being interrogative of physical theatre's usual style, which has helped him to define his own style.
• 'The person has created or played a major role in co-creating a significant or well-known work or collective body of work. In addition, such work must have been the subject of an independent book or feature-length film or of multiple independent periodical articles or reviews. - As mentioned above, there are numerous independent periodical articles (I can add more of these as references, although they do not specifically relate to the article), and also reviews of work in a wide variety of less academic locations such as The Independent, The Guardian, The New York Times, Le Monde and many others.
• The person's work (or works) either (a) has become a significant monument, (b) has been a substantial part of a significant exhibition, (c) has won significant critical attention, or (d) is represented within the permanent collections of several notable galleries or museums. - To point b, Newson's work has had extended runs at major internationally regarded theatres, such as the National Theatre in London and Théâtre de la Ville in Paris, and to c, critical attention can be proved by the awards he has received, and the reviews in numerous UK specific and international news outlets, as well as being awarded an OBE for services to contemporary dance.

Look forward to your reply and to improve the article for submission! — Preceding unsigned comment added by JNL1990 (talk • contribs) 09:28, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi JNL1990 - To take your points in order: #1 - It's a difficult one to show in a short article like this. The current status of the article is far from showing this. #2 - Not even close to meeting that criteria. People in that article who would meet that criteria would be Etienne Decroux, Antonin Artaud. He is simply a practitioner. #3 - he has a niche, but doesn't appear to come close to meeting this criteria either, although it's difficult to research with the citations in the shape they're in. #4 would appear to be your best shot at meeting the criteria. Good luck with the re-write, I'll let another editor review it next. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 04:23, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

, I agree that it was in need of some references which were more independent. I have now added some. My reason for creating the article is simply that I live locally and was surprised that a historic land mark so visible on the slough skyline did not have a page. It is also mentioned in at least 10 other Wikipedia pages and so I decided to create the page partly because of the visibility and history of the building and partly to tie together all the references to it on other pages with links to more information on a single page. Again, thanks for prompting me to improve the article with independent sources. Prosthetic Head (talk) 10:46, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

ProstheticHead The article looks interesting but could use more sources. SwisterTwister talk

Hi Prosthetic Head - There are literally hundreds of thousands of local landmarks that are of interest to the local populations, but don't reach the notability requirements of a Wikipedia article. The sources you've provided are fine to verify the underlying facts included in the article, but don't go to notability. What Wikipedia requires is at least 2-3 in-depth articles about the subject from independent reliable sources. And in this case at least 2 of those sources should not be from a local newspaper. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:46, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

• Dpolinow (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Galore (Magazine) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi Onel5969,

This is the first article I've ever attempted to create on Wikipedia. I've read the guidelines, and don't fully understand the reason I was denied for "notability". I linked to several well-known publications. Could you please advise on what additional citations would help the article get approved?

Thanks so much! David

Dpolinow (talk) 15:01, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Dpolinow The article seems interesting but needs more sources preferably third-party. SwisterTwister talk 23:31, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Dpolinow, I agree with SwisterTwister. The SI article is okay, but since it's mostly an interview with the editors, it's considered a primary source, and therefore can't be used for notability. The Mail article is only a brief mention, and the other 2 are not independent. If the SI piece had been a simple article, rather than an interview, that would have been a great reference. 2-3 like that and you've shown notability. Hope this helps. Ciao.Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:00, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there,

I was wondering if you could give me more specific feedback about where this article might come across as promotional or biased. I have made some edits in accordance with Wikipedia's Words to Watch article, in addition to chatting with volunteer editors through Wikipedia's Live Chat. Let me know if you have any other thoughts before I re-submit! Thanks so much.

The article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Optoro

Amysung64 (talk) 20:13, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Amysung64 The article could use more sources if available. SwisterTwister talk 23:31, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Onel5969, noticed you declined my submission again, except it was verified and approved by the editors in the live help chat, and the feedback that I got from this page was to add more sources^^ (unrelated to the reason why it was rejected). Please advise as to where exactly there is promotional language. Thanks! — Preceding unsigned comment added by 64.125.103.2 (talk) 15:18, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

• SociologiesF (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Jan Rath (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Thanks for your feedback. I regret to say that I'm a bit surprised. First, I did not get this kind of feedback on a previous version. The current version did what the previous editor asked to do. Secondly, while I agree that the contribution should be written in neutral and controllable terms, I fail to understand why this is not the case. FOr as far as I can see, the current version does not contain evaluative comments and, moreover, there are many references that corroborate the statements.

Perhaps the editor would like to five a few concrete examples. Thanks for your assistance

SociologiesF (talk) 21:04, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

SociologiesF The article is very detailed but the sources seem to be outweighed. SwisterTwister talk 23:31, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there, I am wondering why the Mercury Capital Advisors page has been flagged for notability. If you look at the Reuters rankings, the firm was ranked only behind Credit Suise and ahead of Goldman Sachs for private placements. There are also a few independent articles (one from WSJ) that talk about Mercury. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gtownrower23 (talk • contribs) 22:59, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Gtownrower23 - I can't find the article, and Mercury Capital Advisors doesn't seem to exist. However, in general, most likely because the current sources in the article don't show that notability. When an article gets flagged for notability, it means in its current state, it needs more references to show the notability. If I thought it wasn't notable, I would had nominated for deletion, not simply flagged it. The flag is simply to let other editors know it needs work in a certain area, in this case, references. Hope that makes sense. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 23:46, 1 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi. I have a question regarding the draft process. Specifically, where are the guidelines or policies that dictate how a draft article is accessed? Thanks. Mitchumch (talk) 01:36, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Antonin Artaud - Not sure what you're asking. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 04:24, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

I'm also not sure what the question is...are you asking how we users access your article (usually we see it from Category:Pending AfC submissions)? SwisterTwister talk 07:21, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Sorry. I understand your confusion. I didn't mean accessed. I meant assessed. Where are the guidelines or policies that dictate how a draft article is assessed? Mitchumch (talk) 13:34, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Ah,

WP:ISNOT is another good source for figuring out how to assess. Another big issue is copyright violations and close paraphrasing. Finally, there are the easy declines: in a foreign language, obvious jokes, vandalism, blanks, etc. I hope that makes sense to you. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

13:47, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Thank you. That definitely helps me better understand the process. Mitchumch (talk) 15:04, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

I see that you accepted a draft article on

) 11:20, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

JamesBWatson

- Haven't seen your name around the AfC articles (not a big thing, there are a lot of articles, so simply may not have run across, or remembered you), so not sure you're aware of the process. When you click to review the article, a drop down menu appears, giving you 3 options. Above those options is a notification if the article has been deleted. If you click on that, it gives you the reasons and when it was deleted. When that option appears, I make it a point to take a look at the deletion history. Sometimes it's quite a bit in the past, other times it was a simple housekeeping deletion of a redirect to make way for a page. And then other times it was due to an AfD discussion. I don't remember this article specifically, since I look at quite a few in the AfC process, but my guess is, for whatever reason, that drop down option regarding prior deletions did not appear. But folks do make mistakes, so it is always possible I simply missed it.

Speaking to the promotional tone of the article, again, I can't remember it, so not sure. However, after simple lack of notability, promotional tone (either an NPOV issue or a blatant advertising issue) is my next most prevalent rationale for declining an article. My understanding is that non-independent citations may be used for references for verifiability purposes, so they are not an issue, if there are enough independent RS which go into the subject in-depth enough to establish notability. Of course, non-RS are never acceptable. But thanks for stopping by, I do appreciate your warm, non-accusatorial tone you've extended in the spirit of collaboration which is the essence of Wikipedia. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 12:46, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, my most recent submission of Depauw Fire Company was declined on the basis of notability and reference issues. I went to the links provided to help with revision. My question is, 5 of the 7 references I used in my article were from newspapers, which appear to meet criteria as an acceptable reference for notability. Are the other two references (they came from obituaries of the founder) the only problem that caused the decline of my most recent submission? Thanks, John ----

74.124.171.179 The article could use more sources talking about it. SwisterTwister talk 17:45, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi John. SwisterTwister is correct. While the article does currently use newspaper references, they are all from local papers, which doesn't necessarily establish notability, just local notability. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 14:50, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Hmmm, I don't think there are any more significant references, at least that I can find on the web. Any options for inclusion at all? Is there something called a "stub" or something like that? This organization was an important starting point for rural EMS in Indiana in the 1960s, started by a bunch of college student volunteers, but I don't think anyone has written a book or journal article about rural EMS history in the US. I have made contact with some of the founding members on linked-in and could provide statements from them? Any suggestions at all for acceptable changes, or is this thing dead? Thanks, John ----

Hi there,

I noticed you rejected my submission for the page on 'Christopher Sweeney'. I've been trying to get this page approved for sometime, trialling out various techniques and using a number of notable articles. Please could you give me some pointers on how to get this page approved as I feel at a loose end with it all. I was told recently that I could use fewer articles as long as they were strong, independent sources - therefore, I assumed the articles I had included would suffice.

If you have any advice on the matter, that would be really great.

Thanks, Ellen. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.35.52.38 (talk) 15:19, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi. Even though the above was sent from an ip address, I'll assume it's from the article's creator, Ellenannecrane. If so, please remember to sign in and sign any comments with the 4 ~; that makes communication easier. To establish notability, we require anywhere from 2-4 in-depth articles from secondary, independent, reliable sources. While your sources appear to be both reliable and independent, the articles are primary sources by definition, since they are interviews. The information in them comes from the subject of the article itself. While these can sometimes be used to verify facts in an article (and only sometimes, since they are usually not fact-checked by an uninvolved party), they can't be used to establish notability. What we need are articles about the subject, which don't involve the subject, if that makes sense to you. Similarly, sites like imdb, vimeo, youtube, linkedin, etc. (all of which have no editorial oversight) are of no use - for either verifiability or notability. Google news can be a good resource for finding articles, put his name in quotes and add the word director after the quotes. It's a common name, however, so you'll have to dig. This article would go to notability, but you'd probably need about 5 of those type, since it's so short. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:03, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Username : Escravoes

I had re-submitted an entry "Danladi Umar" for your review.

https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Danladi_Umar&redirect=no

It was previously rejected due to "The content of this submission includes material that does not meet Wikipedia's minimum standard for inline citations. Please cite your sources using footnotes." I had also referred to the guidelines below as you had pointed out -

Wikipedia:Biographies of living persons People accused of crime Wikipedia:Notability (events) § Criminal acts and Wikipedia:Notability (people) § Crime victims and perpetrators Shortcut: WP:BLPCRIME

I had added more inline citations and references in the entry and the footnotes.

Kindly reviewed my re-submission and I appreaciate your feedback on the entry.

In advance I thank you for reviewing the entry Username : Escravoes — Preceding unsigned comment added by Escravoes (talk • contribs) 17:32, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CIT. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:13, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

• Jonasgilbert (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Per Magnus Johansson (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hi Onel5969, I am very grateful for the feedback you provided for my draft article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Per_Magnus_Johansson . I've added references and I've also tried to give the article a better structure. I would much appreciate your feedback on the new version. Best wishes, jonasgilbert

Jonasgilbert (talk) 09:20, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Nice job, Jonasgilbert, descriptive without glowing. Nicely cited. Have moved it to the mainspace. Nice contribution to the encyclopedia. Keep editing! Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:17, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Hello, my Draft:Vishuddhasagar was declined on the grounds of notability. Can you please help me by elaborating? Thanks -- Pankaj Jain Capankajsmilyo (talk · contribs · count) 13:26, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Capankajsmilyo - I have added my response to the others at the Teahouse, please see there. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:18, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969, thanks for coming by the Teahouse and thanks for your kind words about my analysis of Pankaj Jain/

14:46, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Sorry

GrammarFascist - usually do, especially with a username as gender neutral as yours. Must have been in a rush. No offense intended. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:05, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

No offense taken, Onel5969. I never assume anyone misgenders me maliciously (unless they do it right after I've asked them not to). I, too, try to avoid presuming other users' genders.

By the way thank you for patrolling

^talk

22:18, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Yet another thanks

For this edit O. In fact the Criterion Collection release of the film (with all its restored footage) shows that Sylvester takes her husband's car when he races to save his mama. My parents took me to see the film when it was originally released and I did remember a few of the restored scenes all these years later. Cheers and enjoy the rest of your weekend. MarnetteD|Talk 17:42, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

There are few films I don't have to look at a resource to know whether or not almost any edit on them is correct or not. This is one of those. One of my top 10 all-time favorite comedies. You have a great weekend as well, Marnette! Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:47, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

• AndyyParadise (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Recirculating Aquaculture System (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hello,

I have cited out my article and the key pieces of information are all supported now. I am planning to add some more information and citations in the next couple of days. Thanks for the help and for looking at it. AndyyParadise (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

I received your email, and article rejected. I thought I addressed the issue. I know information about clinic named after her is not included. In the need of clarity from Dr Adair in regards to the clinic and its name before taken over by Ryan clinics, in that it seems like the earlier clinic named after her and her husband. I met Ms Adair last Saturday. We talked for about 20 minutes, mostly about the need for documenting the history of elders. I showed her some Wikipedia articles, and the linking used. She was fascinated. I have spent all week researching, and found a YouTube clip where she recommends about history of women's church organization that she has been a part of. I ordered the book, it should feel in some gaps. Please advise, I plan to meet with her soon. Tks. Adjoajo (talk) 23:52, 3 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Adjoajo - there are two main issues with the article (and a couple of smaller ones). The first is the tone. Avoid making subjective comments, and adding poetic commentary. For example, "A life of ministry for social justice for women, children, and the poor. She has lead a life of addressing crucial issues of racism, housing, poverty, suffering, exploitation, war, peace, and fellowship. She encourages others, that we must take responsibility, be outspoken, be active, and create initiatives." "She has been a champion of human rights,and social justice issues most of her adult life locally, and globally." - All commentary. State facts. "Dr. Thelma C. Davidson Adair's has a strong belief in the importance of early childhood education", more commentary. The article is chock full of examples of this. Also, drop the use of the honorifics. If she has an MD, put that fact in the article, and add a citation to show its accuracy. Same if its a PhD. Also, after the first time you mention her first name, you should only refer to her by her last name throughout the rest of the article. Those are two of those smaller issues I mentioned.

Statements like "President Barack Obama made a historical speech, on this historic occasion as a nation remembers its history and racism" - are grandiose, and are only meant to puff up the importance of the subject of the article. There were tens of thousands of people at that event. Simply say she was there. The

WP:BOMBARD

at the end of the sentence serves no purpose at all. I didn't look at all of the citations, but only the Columbia article mentions her attendance at this event.

The second big issue is notability. She appears to be, but the only solid reference that goes to notability is the Daily News opinion piece (reposted in the Washington Post, you don't have to use both, use the same one twice). Other than that, I think that most of the articles are not independent, and therefore don't go to notability. The Congressional record is also independent. Independent means the source has nothing to do with the subject - she doesn't teach there, has never been a part of the organizations, etc. You'll need at least 1 more, preferably 2 or more, articles from a newspaper, magazine, book or peer-reviewed journal to show notability.

The other small issue is the format of your citations. Take a look at

reliable source. And as an example of when I say to simply state facts, a perfect example of that would be "In 1976, Adair became the first African-American woman to be elected as a Moderator of the General Assembly for the Presbyterian Church." - That's a simple fact. The problem with that sentence is that you can't use Wikipedia has a reference, you need an external citation to back it up. I hope all this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

20:04, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Thank you

Hello, Onel5969. Thank you for your feedback on my article Draft:David Lankes. I'm wondering if you'd be able to give me more specific feedback on why the article doesn't meet the notability criteria. Is it that the coverage is not significant enough or that the sources aren't considered reliable, or something else? Thanks in advance for your help. This newbie editor certainly appreciates it.

Libraryheather (talk) 16:19, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

Libraryheather The article looks good but feel free to add more sources (David Eppstein may be able to help here). SwisterTwister talk 17:52, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

• 184.75.220.162 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Safe Food Canada (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello,

I'm looking for a more defined explanation of why this article was reject. It's a government funded organization in Canada that's already received almost $1M CAD from the government, has been published about on a Government of Canada website as well as other news articles, and is working towards improving food safety for all Canadians. I realize the article is short, but I feel it's a notable organization that impacts all Canadians.

Michael.parravani The article needs better third-party sources about it. SwisterTwister talk 17:52, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

My edits are NOT vandalism, they were what I thought was a valid edit. Referring to what you said about me on this page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Foley_Herself. Jakeleereed

A blatant error like that is almost always going to be seen as vandalism. The fact that you have gone back and again edited the entry incorrectly, albeit a different error this time, only enforces that viewpoint. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 21:37, 4 October 2015 (UTC)

This list has been promoted to FL status yesterday and is my first FL success. Thanks for reviewing/commenting/supporting the list's promotion at its FLC.

) 01:39, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Congrats! Nice job,

Pavanjandhyala. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:24, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

HELP! I don't understand why the article for Mario Marchetti is not sufficient. I added tons of references. He is clearly established as a top song writer of 2015. He even won a BMI Award in 2015! Which is referenced.

Mario Marchetti was recently deleted as G11 because the current tone was promotional so I would suggest asking the user who deleted it, User:Jac16888, to move it to your userspace only if improvement can be made (it will need better sources about him). SwisterTwister talk 17:52, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

• Jessicahuma (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:MicroAssist (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi Onel5969,

I can't find our previous conversation on your talk page anymore and didn't get your reply on my last comments. I've refined the article Draft:MicroAssist based on your suggestions. Could you please help me review the article and let me know if there is anything I need to improve to make it approved.

Thanks for your assistance,

Jessicahuma (talk) 15:35, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

organizations guidelines. SwisterTwister talk

17:52, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

SwisterTwister Thanks for your comments. I've put 2 articles from Austin Business Journal, and abc13.com) which have deep coverage of TX DPS app MicroAssist made, and 1 news from kcentv.com that covers the IMPACT Texas Teen Drivers (ITTD) MicroAssist developed for TxDPS. There are also other sources, like news about TxDPS app and ITTD to support them. Even thought some of the sources didn't mention MicroAssist directly, but with previous citation, it's logical to say that the projects MicroAssist accomplished are notable and significant enough to get so much media coverage.

If they are not good enough, could you please give me an approximate number of sources that I need to add to this Draft to make it notable?

Thanks for you help, Jessicahuma (talk) 19:28, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Jessicahuma - Here's the issue: the kcentv piece is a press release, which is virtually worthless reference, since it's a primary source directly from the company. The links to home pages and partner pages are likewise not much use either, since they are connected in some fashion to the company. The facts of the article are well sourced, but its notability still requires several articles. If that press release had been an actual article, that would have been fine for one of them, but you'd still need about 2 more. It's nice to see you doing work on it, and I hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:31, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969- Thanks for your constant assist.I really appreciate your help. This is my first time adding article on Wikipedia and I've learnt a lot from this process. According to your advice, I added 2 more independent sources to support the notability of MicroAssist. The first one is an in-depth article about DPS app and MicroAssist from starlocalmedia.com: Texas DPS launches mobile app; The second one is an article talking about EthicsEd e-learning program MicroAssist did: MicroAssist Launches EthicsEd at Prestigious DEMO.

I have more sources but found those two are most applicable for WK's requirement on sources. Let me know if it's good enough to make the article fulfill all Wikipedia requirements.

Thanks,

Jessicahuma (talk) 19:40, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Now that he is the Libertarian Party candidate for US Senate in Florida, ( http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-politics/ritual-sacrifice-eugenics-and-the-resignation-of-a-party-chairman/2247999) http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/adrian-wyllie-augustus-sol-invictus-florida-senate ) do you think the Draft can/should be turned into a useful article?Naraht (talk) 16:32, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Naraht The article will need better sources as the best I would see him getting is for the 2016 campaign. SwisterTwister talk 17:52, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Tino_Sanandaji

This page was rejected by you. I was in direct contact with Tino Sanandaji when I edited his english wikipedia-page. He wanted an english version. He only has a swedish wikipedia page, https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tino_Sanandaji

Kindly Knut — Preceding unsigned comment added by 78.72.23.30 (talk) 21:43, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi. The sources at this point simply don't meet the notability requirements of English Wikipedia. You'll need about 3 in-depth articles from reliable, independent sources to show notability. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:34, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969,
Thanks for accepting the article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walid_Mushtaq. I need your help that currently some unregistered user has edited the article and added POV|date=October 2015 due to this a message is being displayed which states "The neutrality of this article is disputed. Relevant discussion may be found on the talk page. Please do not remove this message until the dispute is resolved. (October 2015)".
Now please guide me how can I remove this because the talk page does not show any such correspondence and above all my article has all the authentic sources available.
Waiting for your good suggestion for continues improvement in the article
Many thanks
User:FarhanRoots1

Hi FarhanRoots1 - In the future, if someone tags an article like that, simply open a discussion on the talk page. If they respond, attempt to reach a resolution with them. If there is no response after a week, simply remove the tags. In this instance, the editor added two tags. I might have left the NPOV tag, to allow discussion to take place, but they also added a COI tag. As far as I know, you don't have any relationship with the subject of the article, and that ip editor gave no evidence. If it is tagged again, simply discuss it on the talk page. Don't ask other editors to get involved. That's called canvassing, and is frowned upon. I'll keep an eye on the article for a while, so I'll know if there's a discussion and pop my head in. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:41, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

• Waisybabu (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Jumpshare (service) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hey,

I've edited parts of the submission that sounded like an ad, and have removed references that point to Jumpshare's own blog as it says we should use verifiable third-party sources. I've left just a couple of references that point to the official site, as they feel important.

Looking forward to your feedback. This is my first proper page submission, so I hope I meet Wikipedia's standards. Thanks!

Hi Waisybabu - I see it's already been rejected again by another editor. And I would have done the same. I think you've established notability (the Business Insider article is great), but even though it's a short article, it still is highly promotional. Advertisements sell us the subject. Articles tell us about the subject. Just tell us what it is and what it does, don't give us its advantages, etc. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:02, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback Onel5969. I've edited the article once again after looking at Droplr, Dropbox, and Slack's Wiki articles as a basic benchmark for neutrality. I hope I did well this time. Please let me know what else I can do to improve my editing skills.

Dear Onel5969,

thanks for reviewing my entry on David Ronneburg (^[1]). You turned it down claiming it didn't sufficiently prove notability. As the article includes references to third-party sources like reviews of Ronneburg's work, references to it in the German National Library and entry in the German Literary Almanach and as these references are given in detail following the citation rules, I don't understand why you make these claims. I would appreciate a more concrete criticism to help me improve the article. I am currently working on a publication on Leipzig writers born between 1970 and 1980 who experienced both growing up in Socialist Eastern Germany (GDR) and leading their adult lives in a reunified country after 1990. In the course of my research work I have come across such authors like Jan Zänker who developed into fine poets or prose writers and such like David Ronneburg who turned to journalism and cultural and historic writing. Including them and others like Kathleen Weise, Ulrike Almus Sandig etc would greatly contribute towards academic research becoming easier on the subject. Thanks for your help. I am looking forward to your reply.

Best regards, MarkMarkOgilvie (talk) 07:28, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Commented at AfC draft. SwisterTwister talk 21:00, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

• 195.157.55.217 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Jasper Parrott (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello, I recently submitted this article for creation and am following up on a query I made on 23 September for further information as to why it wasn't accepted so I can look to improve it. I wanted to check whether the issues were with the types of references that were being used in the article or whether there were other problems. Thanks.

195.157.55.217 (talk) 09:12, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

The article needs more sources, 195.157.55.217. SwisterTwister talk 21:00, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

• Domiriat (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:George Quinn (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi Onel5969,

Thank you for reviewing Draft:George Quinn. I read it again and again and I think that I needed a little bit of time off it in order to be able to write it from a more neutral point of view. I made drastic changes and I'd appreciate if you could take another look over it.

In regards to the other points that it was declined for, the article certainly refers to a range of independent, reliable, published sources, not just to materials produced by the creator of the subject being discussed. I used reliable reports from the market and reliable news sources that show the subjects' notability. Just as an example from the references that I used, "Building and Home Improvement Products Distribution Market Report - UK 2013-2017 Analysis" is a market analysis report done by AMA Research and it costs £725 - I am well aware that the cost of a report doesn't necessarily suggest the quality of a report and its contents, but it certainly means that the effort put into gathering the information for that report and the attention to details was higher than that of a £20 research.

I am submitting this article to be reviewed again because I believe that it shows the notability of the subject (through the references that I used); because the subject is of general interest and because I have made the changes that I was asked to do. Because of the aforementioned, I consider that the article, as it stands, is worthy of being published. Still, if it isn't, I would appreciate any type of feedback.

Regards,

--Domiriat (talk) 10:30, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Commented at AfC draft. SwisterTwister talk 21:00, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Dear User - I have to let you know that NTPC LTD. CMD has been Changed with effect from 01.09.2015. You can verify it through its official website www.ntpc.co.in .I edited the page NTPC Limited accordingly. You just undid my work. So kindly correct it. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 117.247.136.150 (talk) 12:54, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Not per the source. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 13:31, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

• 131.125.11.1 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Cedric van Eenoo (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello and thank you for your help. I added more links as you requested with the suggested websites. I also updated some references. Let me know if this makes sense and if I can resubmit. Thank you.

The article needs better sources. SwisterTwister talk 21:00, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

I actually used the suggestions by Onel5969. Could you be more specific as to what would be considered better sources in this case please? I have read the articles about sources and references; I used IMDb; Artstor, Google Scholar, Barnes & Nobles and links to published books. I just need to figure out what in the list I updated needs to be changed, removed or what needs to be added. Thank you very much. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 131.125.11.1 (talk) 03:21, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Sources for notability purposes are usually from reputable, reliable magazines, books, newspapers or peer-cited journals. Linking to google searches is not a valid reference. Sources such as iTunes, Amazon, are not valid references. References which have an affiliation with the subject (such as a gallery or museum), cannot be used for notability purposes. I hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:34, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

• Emile Grom (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Marcel Crochet (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

The new page is a English language translation of an existing French language page (created in 2009) https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Crochet I assumed (wrongly ?) that notability in the French language version of Wikipedia is sufficient to guarantee notability in the English language version of Wikipedia... Please enlighten me...

Simply because there is a French Wiki is not always a guarantee it can be accepted here as other Wiki's frequently have unacceptable articles but also have lower standards or no one takes action. Therefore, this one needs better sourcss. SwisterTwister talk 21:00, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

• Smartartone100 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Paul Eachus (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Dear Sir / Madam

Just to inform you, since initially submitting the Wikipedia profile, Paul Eachus passed away. (20th September 2015). He was a significant English Artist, who has made significant contribution to British art since 1970. http://www.theagencygallery.co.uk/eachus_schaefer_n.htm.

As this is the first time I've ever submitted a Wikipedia profile, I would very much appreciate a little more guidance on exactly what I need to change to get the profile approved.

Kind regards

Smartartone100 The article needs more sources. SwisterTwister talk 21:00, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Smartartone100 - The references you currently have are all right to act as sources for the underlying facts of the article, but not for notability. For notability we need about 3 in-depth articles about the subject from independent, reliable sources. These are usually newspapers, magazines or books. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 20:51, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Dear Onel5969,

Thank you for reviewing my article and contribute as you do in Wikipedia. I saw your user page and it is amazing how many contributions you are doing in this site.

I am writing you because my article s submission was declined by you. The reason was "This submission's references do not adequately show the subject's notability". https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Kaiho_Sangyo&redirect=no Of course I understand that Kaiho sangyo is not a top company such us Toyota or Nissan but those people have created the first Specification Test for used engines in the world (PAS777). They also created the IREC (International Recycling Education Center),also is unique in the world, and they are really supporting developing projects in Africa or ASEAN teaching people of those countries the way to recycle and reduce wastes. If you would be interested, just take a look to this short video to see what I am talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfMU0uJbVLY

This is my first article and of course I still learning the way to publish a proper article. The truth is that I started working in this article last Jun and it has been declined already 4 times. I have always contacted with the reviewers asking for advice to improve it as I am doing now with you. I have also asked for help in the Teahouse. People is really nice in wikipedia and always they give a hand. I have always followed the advises and the article has improved very much (I have deleted also so many information because didn´t have notably references to support the information).

Please, could you give me some hints to get this article accepted? I really would appreciate it.

Hopefully this experience will help me to improve writing skills for future articles.

Thank you in advance for your help!

Best regards,

Alejandro R Moreno (talk) 06:20, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Alejandro R Moreno - In order to show notability, we need at least 3 in-depth articles about the subject from independendent, reliable sources. That usually translates into newspapers, magazines or books. Google News is always a pretty good place to start. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 20:55, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Dear Onel5969 - Thank you very much for your advice. I have re checked the article and despite having in-depth articles sources such as the Oxford Handbook of Local Competitiveness or the Nikkei Business, they may be not enough as you said. I will add more references to reinforce the article. Thank you very much again! Best regards, Alejandro R Moreno (talk) 00:58, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

• Bishwa 777 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Chrysaalis i math (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi I have edited the draft again and deleted the promotional content , can you suggest if its fine to go. boomboom

Hi

WP:CIT, that always help the person evaluating. Hope this helped. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

20:59, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there – you recently denied my AfC submission. I'm wondering if you're willing to elaborate on your feedback? I'm not sure I agree that the article is "essay like". But, I'm willing to make edits if you'll point them out to me :]

I have put in a lot of work in the context of the article, and have omitted a lot of jargon as requested by other reviewers. I welcome your feedback at your earliest convenience!

Thanks, Copeland

Hi Copeland.powell - First, please always sign your comments with the 4 ~. That helps folks know who to respond to. Regarding your article, there is an informal tone to it which makes it read more like an essay, rather than simply a factual report. There are other contributing factors: there are assertions made without citations (e.g. "During his time there he took part in reconciliation work as a member of the community, including volunteering at a local prison."), there are casual terminology used as well, such as "J.John spent approximately nine months a year traveling the country ...". The continual use of J. John throughout the article is a no-no. Simply use his last name, John. There are statements which are judgements/commentary, such as "In January 1998, J.John began teaching the Ten Commandments in a contemporary manner." Use of phrases like "For example, during the ...". In addition to those items, the article still has a heavy POV issue. Avoid terms like "well-known ", "internationally recognized". I'd also get rid of many of the quotes of praise, or else include quotes which don't look at him in a good light, for balance. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:40, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi again! Thanks for your feedback on my AFC: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:J.John Will you check it out again? I've addressed all of the issues you pointed out. Any other feedback? Feel free to make edits if you feel you can help contribute! Thanks in advance.--Copeland.powell (talk) 18:36, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there - just checking back in on this thread. Thanks in advance!--Copeland.powell (talk) 12:28, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CITEKILL. I also feel that the Just10 section is way too long. But that could just be me. I see you've resubmitted it. Let's let another editor review it, and see what they have to say. It could be a few days, so be patient. In a week, if no one else has taken a look at it, I'll ask a couple of other active reviewers if they wouldn't mind. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:57, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks User:talk:Onel5969 - Really appreciate your insight. I'm glad to hear you're happier with the article! I've reduced the amount of citations on the TBN note. Only left the strongest. I made some reductions to the just10 section. Can you give it another look?--Copeland.powell (talk) 16:33, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Can you have a look ? Is time to be accepted. It is all the information I could find about a small romanian team.Thanks!--Alexiulian25 (talk) 16:43, 7 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Alexiulian25 - nice job. Moved it to the mainspace. Congrats! Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:02, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Can you help me by editing Romanian football ? Liga II, to create the league tables for each edition, and after I will help adding more information and to tagg the teams. Thanks !--Alexiulian25 (talk) 20:22, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi again Alexiulian25. I'll try, but I'm not sure exactly what you're asking me to do. Can you be a bit more specific? Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:26, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, if you go on Liga II main page, you will find a table "List of Champions and Promoted Teams". In the first column of years you will find the edition of each season. The one in "red" are not created / edited. If you can create the editions with the league tables.

This is the second edition - not created yet 1935–36 Divizia B - just clik on it and add the tables with teams from here : Reference1 - [3]. Reference2 - [4] Thank you!--Alexiulian25 (talk) 17:46, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

• Adjoajo (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Thelma C. Davidson Adair (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

How are you? I did some rewriting and talked with Ms. Adair. I will be meeting with her. She recommended a book that I should read. I will be checking it out of the library.

Please advise, as to if I have made all necessary corrections.

Thanks,

Adjoa Linda

01:18:27, 8 October 2015 review of submission by 2602:306:CF06:D9B0:5408:D604:6656:9919

• 2602:306:CF06:D9B0:5408:D604:6656:9919 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Dean (R&B singer) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello, I have a question about this draft. What could i do to make this article stay up on the wikipedia. I am a huge fan of Dean and would like to set up this page to make him feel proud of me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Dean_(R%26B_singer)

That is the article you rejected.

I have edited the article by citing 2 magazine articles, which was featured in GQ Magazine and Vogue Korea Magazine. 2602:306:CF06:D9B0:5408:D604:6656:9919 (talk) 01:18, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

• DavidHusnian (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Dan S. Kennedy (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

I hope I am doing this right, it wasn't too clear on the guidelines page.

I'm not requesting a re-review at this time but some direction. I tried hard to make sure it didn't "read more like an advertisement" and I am not sure which part or parts you think failed. So, if you could give me some direction on where to look then I'd be happy to address them.

I am also surprised because I used an existing (approved, non-advertisement) page (the one for Jay Abraham, a peer of the page's subject) as a template as part of trying to make sure it was more encyclopedic-like.

Thanks for your help and guidance.

So I just click the signature button now??? Let me try it and see :-)

--DavidHusnian (talk) 08:01, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi DavidHusnian - I just edited Abraham's page, removing the small selection which was promotional there. Here's the difference in your article: to say that Kennedy has helped xxxx number of companies develop strategies is reporting a fact (and should be cited). To say how those strategies helped those companies is promotional. To say that he publishes a newsletter with xxxx circulation is a fact (and should be cited). The rest of the stuff in that paragraph is pure promotion. To say he has appeared on stage with numerous luminaries is pure bootstrapping promotionalism. You can include some stuff which highlights him, such as "In October 2014, Forbes labeled Kennedy's The Ultimate Marketing Plan as one of the "Five Of The Most Useful Business Books In The Last 25 Years"[1] and, in 2011, named his book No B.S. Direct Marketing: The Ultimate No Hold Barred Kick Butt Take No Prisoners Direct Marketing For Non-Direct Marketing Businesses one of the "Top 3 Books For Learning To Become a Rainmaker"". Those are cited accomplishments, so reporting them is simply facts. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 21:16, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969, thanks for your explanation and help. Also congratulations on the Gold STiki Barnstar of Merit.

A couple of specific follow up questions before I use the creation help desk.

1. Maybe I misunderstand Wikipedia's purposes. I assumed it was to help people who had a need (or interest) in a topic to get more information to help them. For example, personally I like to use it to learn more about a company or person (like Jay Abraham and Dan Kennedy) before I become a customer. I have a need -- can they help me and do they have a track record to prove it -- and I look them up in Wikipedia for information assuming it is more reliable and fair-minded than a company web site or other who may have specific agendas.

In that case, seeing "how those strategies helped" is valuable information (not promotional) in my due diligence process. So, for example, with Dan Kennedy to see he helps "companies focusing on communicating effectively with prospects" and "providing measurable marketing and business growth strategies" is very good to know because, if I am looking for that, then Mr. Kennedy is a possibility and, if I am not, then he isn't and I can probably strike him off the list.

Of course, I, nor likely anyone else, would use a Wikipedia page for the sole decision but it is valuable information to know in the process and I've personally known a number of people who use Wikipedia in just that way, including a former Citibank CFO.

The same thing could be said about other things like your mention of some of the people Mr. Kennedy has spoken on stage with. If I am looking for speakers and I want someone of a particular level of accomplishment then having that information is not promotional to me at all (as the person looking for speakers) it is purely informational and very valuable. On the other hand, it also might let me know that Dan was a "bigger name" than we were looking for and I wouldn't need to waste time looking at him as an option. Again, really valuable information to the type of people who would be looking for someone like Mr. Kennedy (which would primarily be people and fans) looking into him for business purposes as opposed to entertainers or sports figures or political figures and others who just may want to know about their life or things like that.

A bit long winded -- sorry -- but I wanted to give you context of my thought processes when creating the page and context of the question... what is the purpose of Wikipedia? To help people in ways like I said above or just more like a collection of cited information?

Both are valuable and needed but I thought Wikipedia was the first one (actually, thinking about it now, I thought Wikipedia was both a collection and a useful resource of the type I mentioned) but if it is the second one then knowing that will help me.

Thanks.

2. How do you know what to cite and how do you cite things that are facts that aren't generally published elsewhere and can be cited? I'd venture that most of the facts in the world aren't available elsewhere to be cited and in companies like Mr. Kennedy's GKIC and others which are not public companies specific facts are readily available in a citeable third-party document. As I said in the page, I was unable to verify some information but felt is was valuable to know for someone who was actually looking for Dan Kennedy (I know I'd want it) so I let it in.

They can be important facts just really hard to cite plus you can't cite everything that is said or there would be pages upon pages of footnotes.

For example, on the Coca Cola page is says these "facts" but they aren't cited "Coke (a registered trademark of The Coca-Cola Company in the United States since March 27, 1944)" and "The company's marketing strategies for a high-sugar drink, especially its targeting of children, remain controversial."

Also, for Bill Gates, this is uncited "According to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, Gates was the world's highest-earning billionaire in 2013, as his fortune increased by US$15.8 billion to US$78.5 billion." and I looked to see if I could find a place I could cite and was unable to.

I do know I have seen places where it had the facts in place (in approved pages) but had some thing like "citation needed" next to it. That seems very reasonable and a good compromise. May I do that and how would I?

So may I have some of your valuable direction on knowing what to cite and what to do if it is a fact but is impossible or virtually so to cite it. Thanks.

I really did make a great effort to not be promotional but to put in the information that people who were looking to find out more about Dan and his businesses would want to know. I am continuing to try to find specific information and references but it has been difficult. I look forward to your continued guidance.

DavidHusnian (talk) 07:15, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

		The Gold STiki Barnstar of Merit
		Congratulations, Onel5969! You're receiving this barnstar of merit because you recently crossed the 25,000 classification threshold using STiki. We thank you both for your contributions to Wikipedia at-large and your use of the tool. We hope you continue your ascent up the leaderboard and stay in touch at the talk page. Thank you and keep up the good work! West.andrew.g (developer) and ‑Ugog Nizdast (talk ) 12:37, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

• HPCOMgreen (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:HostPapa (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hi There,

I'm hoping you can provide me with some more specific details about which parts of the article would be considered advertising, so that I may have a chance to improve/edit this piece. There are many guidelines and honestly I find them a bit confusing, so getting further clarification of what needs to be improved upon would be great.

Cheers, ~~Jennifer~~

Hi HPCOMgreen - It's terms and phrases like "it's said to be home for nearly 100,000 active small-to-medium-sized business websites", "is known for ", "Jamie has been a serial entrepreneur since 1990, he launched and sold a number of companies within the technology industry." "In 2005, Jamie Opalchuk took part in conversations with other IT industry leaders ". The lengthy list of non-notable awards is also very promotional. That entire list could be summed up in two short sentences like, "xxxx has been awarded several/numerous awards by various industry magazines/organizations. Examples would be... (then pick a couple to give as examples). The infrastructure is almost solely promotional. Great rule of thumb is that articles tell us about a subject, while advertisements try to sell us a product. When you start listing benefits, and how it helps its customers, that's selling. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 22:17, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969 - Thanks for your feedback, it was very helpful so thanks alot for that! I've made some moderate edits and have resubmitted for review.

Thanks Again! ~~Jennifer~~

Hi,

You recently made comments that I needed to improve my references before my page is accepted. Could you please give me an example. I have more references coming, but I want to know why the current ones are no good.

Thanks AlBarts 14:23, 8 October 2015 (UTC)AlBarts (talk) 14:23, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:REFB

is a good resource to learn about referencing. In a nutshell, there are two basic types of references: those for verifiability (e.g. this guy worked at this job during this period of time), and those for notability. To show notability you need about 3 articles from reliable, independent sources. That usually means newspapers, magazines or books. The articles can't merely mention the subject, but should be in-depth about the subject. They also can't be associated with the subject, so a bio page from a radio station he worked at doesn't count. The Vanouver's Broadcasting link is nice, but doesn't really show notability, just that he was a broadcaster in Vancouver. In addition, your #5 citation doesn't appear to back up the assertion it's placed near.

Everything in the article that asserts something (where he worked, dates, etc.) should have a reference. It can be the same reference and come at the end of the paragraph, but it needs a reference. Also, please take a look at

WP:CIT on how to properly format citations. Finally, after the first time you mention Barton's name in the lead, he should only be referred to by his last name throughout the rest of the article. I hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

23:05, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

14:31:04, 8 October 2015 review of submission by Jessicahuma

• Jessicahuma (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:MicroAssist (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi, Onel5969

I added 2 more independent sources to support the notability of MicroAssist. The first one is an in-depth article about DPS app and MicroAssist from starlocalmedia.com: Texas DPS launches mobile app; The second one is an article talking about EthicsEd e-learning program MicroAssist did: MicroAssist Launches EthicsEd at Prestigious DEMO.

I have more sources but found those two are most applicable for WK's requirement on sources. Let me know if it's good enough to make the article fulfill all Wikipedia requirements.

Thanks for your constant assist on this! Appreciated.

Jessicahuma (talk) 14:31, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Jessicahuma - Those definitely help. The second more than the first. Get rid of the associations section - that's unencyclopedic, and then resubmit it and I'll move it to the mainspace. After I do, it would be nice if the bulleted milestone list was re-written as a cited prose paragraph or three. . Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:16, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

talk:Onel5969- Thanks for your help on the article. I removed the association part and resubmitted the article. I'll definitely keep refining the content. I appreciate your assist!! Jessicahuma (talk) 18:25, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi again, Did you have a chance to review the query I sent last week? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Keith_A._Schooley Thanks for your help, Hillary Chase [email protected] Hillary Chase (talk) 17:18, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:COI, and tag the article and your user page appropriately, please. After you do those things, resubmit. I'm going to wait a bit and see what another editor thinks, rather than re-review it myself. I think it's borderline notability. If another editor approves it, then I'd be more comfortable. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

17:32, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

• Rauchg13 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Derek Green (Democratic Candidate for Philadelphia City Council At-large) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello, I recently attempted to create a Wikipedia page for each of the candidates in the Philadelphia City Council elections to be referenced on a site that our organization is working on at crowdpac.com. I got a rejection notice questioning the notability of the candidates in the articles. Would a workable alternative to this be to make a large page for the 2015 November elections and then include all of the candidates for Philadelphia office in that? Let me know as soon a possible please--we're trying to get all of this information up within the week. Thanks for your time.

Rauchg13 (talk) 17:24, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:COI. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

16:25, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

I am working with Committee of Seventy: https://www.seventy.org/ We are a nonpartisan, nonprofit government ethics and accountability group, thus we are not affiliated with any candidate or party. We are partnering with https://www.crowdpac.com/ in order to get as much info out on candidates as possible before each election in PA. Crowdpac links their bios to Wikipedia pages., which a number of the candidates already have. It would be the ideal platform since information on Wikipedia has public editing and an understanding of relatively unbiased content. I'll look forward to hearing from Northamerica1000 for more info. Thanks Onel5969 for the prompt response. Rauchg13 (talk) 18:44, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

@

WP:NOTNEWSPAPER, an article about the overall upcoming Philadelphia City Council

election may not be suitable, although if the topic receives significant coverage in reliable sources, particularly in those outside of the local area, such as regional, statewide and national coverage, it could fly.

Note that there are related articles, particularly

Philadelphia municipal election, 1955

, which appears to be the style of article you are looking to create. This article includes information about the election for mayor, district attorney and 17 city council seats. Additional related articles/sections include:

• Philadelphia mayoral election, 2015
  – could possibly be expanded in the style of the Philadelphia municipal election, 1955 article, and then be renamed to reflect the new content
• List of members of Philadelphia City Council since 1952
• United States elections, 2015 § Local elections

– hope this helps out. North America¹⁰⁰⁰ 20:10, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Hello Onel5969, I am JohnWannamaker and I had recently added some more edits to the draft:DocSolid wikipedia entry which you had reviewed about a week ago. I made some more changes and added some more citations and connections to other wiki entries that related closely with DocSolid, and I was checking on whether or not it was being reviewed again. The first time it seemed someone looked at it very shortly after posting, but this time it seems to be taking significantly longer. Thanks for taking the time, and hopefully I can fix whatever problems may still exist. — Preceding unsigned comment added by JohnWannamaker (talk • contribs) 18:10, 8 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CIT on how to properly format references. That helps reviewers. Hope this helps you. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

17:01, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

18:37:10, 8 October 2015 review of submission by 192.136.22.96

• 192.136.22.96 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Ongaku Records, Inc. (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

What more information do you need to establish notability for this company? There are four citations showing that its recordings have been reviewed in all the major classical music media for two decades now, and there are links to many other notable artists who record on the lable including Tchaikovsky Competition gold medalists etc.

This seems to be way more than enough to establish notability according to Wikipedia published critieria.

Why did you reject this page?

Those are articles about the recordings. Not about the record label. They would help to bolster the notability about the record and/or the artist, but do nothing for establishing the notability of the record company. We need about 3 in-depth articles from independent sources about the company (usually reputable magazines, newspapers or books) to show it is notable. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:05, 9 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there, I'm pleased to inform you that I've begun reviewing the article

) 02:21, 10 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi there, I'm pleased to inform you that I've begun reviewing the article

) 02:21, 10 October 2015 (UTC)

03:22:39, 10 October 2015 review of submission by 96.237.166.9

• 96.237.166.9 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Ongaku Records, Inc. (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

I added more citations.

A record company makes recordings. It becomes notable by having major journals write about its recordings, just as a car company becomes notable by having its cars reviewed by independent journals.

Are you saying that you would rather have a separate page for every release from Ongaku Records, Inc. (all of which have notability by your stated criteria) rather than one page for the company that lists all of them?

That makes no sense at all.

Please explain. What kind of article would ever be written about a recording company, other than discussions of its recordings and artists? Or possibly an interview with an executive about the recordings. In any case, all articles about recording companies will talk about recordings.

No, what I'm saying is simple. You seem to either want to argue, or are simply willfully failing to understand. Regardless, I'd much prefer to deal with new editors who want to learn and understand the process, so please refrain from talking to me about this article. Take care and good luck. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 04:27, 10 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for uploading

).

Note that any non-free images not used in any articles will be deleted after seven days, as described in the criteria for speedy deletion. Thank you. — Cirt (talk) 20:49, 10 October 2015 (UTC)

Your GA nomination of Nick Stuart

The article

good article criteria, but there are some minor changes or clarifications needing to be addressed. If these are fixed within 7 days, the article will pass; otherwise it may fail. See Talk:Nick Stuart for things which need to be addressed. Message delivered by Legobot, on behalf of Cirt -- Cirt (talk

) 04:21, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

Your GA nomination of Robert Kurrle

The article

good article criteria, but there are some minor changes or clarifications needing to be addressed. If these are fixed within 7 days, the article will pass; otherwise it may fail. See Talk:Robert Kurrle for things which need to be addressed. Message delivered by Legobot, on behalf of Cirt -- Cirt (talk

) 04:41, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

The User has been indeffed; relisting it?

Hello Onel5969,

I remember you had commented here now quite some time ago. The article was created about a non-notable person, was made in a totally rubbish state from the start, and still remains in a rubbish state (as he's completely non-notable).

As I happened to be right, the user was a sockmaster using numerous socks to prevent the article from being deleted. He has been indeffed as of some minutes ago, including his socks. I'm suggesting I can re-list it for deletion, as all socks + the master have been blocked. Do you think its possible for that rubbish article to be listed again for deletion, and now properly?

(Could you ping me when leaving a reply? Thanks! ;-) ) - LouisAragon (talk) 05:07, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi LouisAragon - I actually don't think an AfD is appropriate. The arguments made after I cast my delete vote (from Kraxler and Penguin) seem to uphold a claim of notability. I do think you could go through the article and pare down all the uncited promotion. But he probably is notable. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:03, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

19:44:08, 11 October 2015 review of submission by AdianPhy

• talk · contribs
  )
  • Draft:Shaw Academy (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

I have removed the promotional content, can you please review it again.

talk

) 19:44, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

AdianPhy - passes notability criteria, have moved it to the mainspace. In the future, please try to keep promotional material off the article. There is plenty to write about which isn't promotional. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:12, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

22:28:25, 11 October 2015 review of submission by BelindaVanDyk

• BelindaVanDyk (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:A. J. Meek (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Don't understand why you declined the submission. Books listed were authored by A. J. Meek and published by noted publishers. Is more information required for the books? The "references" came from the footnote entries. Why was the other information listed was not verifiable? Thanks, BelindaVanDyk (talk) 22:28, 11 October 2015 (UTC)BelindaVanDyk

Hi

WP:CIT on how to properly format citations. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:16, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Frank E. Tours

I understand that someone is about to write an article on Frank E. Tours, so changing the name back to Frank Tours is not helpful. See Frank E. Tours bio. -- Ssilvers (talk) 22:48, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Ssilvers Then they should be writing, as per MOS titling conventions, an article titled Frank Tours. Which is the name he is known by his credits. The E should only be added if there is already a Frank Tours article and he was sometimes known by that, neither of which is true. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 22:51, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

I wanted to add that as quickly as I could to help you understand my rationale. If that person were to write that article, it would most likely get changed to Frank Tours, since that is the name in the credits, in which case all your changes would need to be reverted at that time. The online bio may use the E because he occasionally used it in his stage work (but even then, if you go to ibdb, the vast majority of his credits are without the E. So the only reason we'd use it in the title of the article is if there were already a Frank Tours article. Anyway, hope you understand. Would you like to self revert the remainder of your edits, or I can take of it for you. Take it easy. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 22:59, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

MOS:IDENTITY is being revisited: How should Wikipedia refer to transgender individuals before and after their transition?

You are being contacted because you contributed to a recent discussion of MOS:IDENTITY that closed with the recommendation that Wikipedia's policy on transgender individuals be revisited.

Two threads have been opened at the Village Pump:Policy. The first addresses how the Manual of Style should instruct editors to refer to transgender people in articles about themselves (which name, which pronoun, etc.). The second addresses how to instruct editors to refer to transgender people when they are mentioned in passing in other articles. Your participation is welcome. Darkfrog24 (talk) 02:17, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Darkfrog24 - Thanks for the heads up. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:09, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

08:45:51, 12 October 2015 review of submission by Jiirtih

• Jiirtih (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Verbalisation (company) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi,

Many thanks for checking over this page. Can you please be more specific about which parts you weren't happy with? I'll make the change asap.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Verbalisation_(company)

Regards

jiirtih

Hi Jiirtih - In general, articles tell us about the subject, while advertisements attempt to sell us the subject of the article. Give facts, don't cite promotional stuff which is written to make people want to use it. Delete benefits (e.g. subscriptions increased, media impressions, claims or commentary). I hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:20, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Page acceptance

Hello! I am contacting you regarding the page Draft:Airy which was declined by you today. Could you please clarify what changes should be made to have this page being approved ?Karen Douglass (talk) 14:50, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

I have added lots of reliable resources which prove any sentence of this page. This page lists the functionality of the app like lots of other existing pages. Any recommendations from your side will be highly appreciated. Karen Douglass (talk) 14:50, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Karen Douglass - functionality is s selling point, not part of an encyclopedia article. Articles tell us about something, not attempt to sell it to us. Virtually this entire article is a promotional brochure. There are individual lines which are purely informational (like the opening one), but there is so much promotion throughout the rest of the article. Tell us about the software. How and when it was developed, when it was tested, when it hit the market. Don't go on and on about the advantages and features. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:08, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

16:56:30, 12 October 2015 review of submission by Taspel

• Taspel (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:PoolParty Semantic Suite (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hi Onel5969! Please can you hint me to the problematic passages, where changes are necessary?

I can imagine that reference no. 3 is particulary problematic. Any other suggestions? When I created the article I took the following wikopedia articles as blueprints:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuoso_Universal_Server https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stardog https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smartlogic

Any support would be highly appreciated! Thanks in advance!

Hi

WP:GNG. Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

16:56, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Keith Schooley article edit question

Hi, I'm working on the edit and rearranged/added to references/draft. But I'm also trying to figure out what you meant when you said I could go to a Wiki page to find out how to "properly format" my citations. Were you saying I had done them incorrectly (I followed the instructions and used the edit bar to insert citations to reference section) or were you referring to adding web links to preexisting citations? I have found links to a number of citations so I assume I add a semicolon and then click on the web link key in edit in order to add to citation... is that correct? Will that renumber everything or will it (as it did when I added semicolons with an additional news or book source) simply add to the citation without causing the reference numbers to go awry? The article is: https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Keith_A._Schooley&action=edit and I am at [email protected]. Thanks again. HC Hillary Chase (talk) 20:16, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Hillary Chase - First of all, it's been a pleasure working with someone who is trying to learn. Thank you for your diligence. I formatted the second citation in your article, so you could see the slight difference. In that particular one, it made very little difference, but if you look at the way I formatted the citation, I left 2 fields blank: "page" and "url". If you pulled that article from a print edition of the Trib, you'd put the page # in; if you pulled it from their online version, you'd put the url there (sometimes the url version also has the page #, and in those instances use both). Hope this makes sense to you. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:15, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Question Related Submission

Hello Onel5969,

I followed your instructions carefully and ensured all citations are third party. I also added a new notable citation in the first paragraph referencing an $8.7MM raise of funding one of Habra's early investments recently earned.

I hope this is sufficient enough to be granted.

Please do let me know what I must do to ensure full veracity and conditions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Jacques_Habra

Thank you,

Jackie — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jnishimoura (talk • contribs) 20:39, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CIT to see how to format citations. Here's an example: <ref>{{cite web | url=web address of article | title=title of article | publisher=name of website or magazine which publishes the article | last=last name of author (if there is one) | first=first name of author (if there is one) | page=page number (if there is one) | accessdate=date you accessed the article on line}}</ref> If it's a book, the format is slightly different, as is if it is a print copy of a magazine or newspaper. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

20:49, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks. So, my question about reliable sources is this: Which of the cited sources are not reliable? They are independent newspapers, magazines, etc? Am I better off removing some? If so, which ones for example? As far as the formatting - I redid this 4x and was directed to setup citations as they are by other Wiki experts/reviewers so I am now confused and would appreciate some very clear consistent direction perhaps with an example. Thank you so much for your help. I hope we are close :)

Jnishimoura (talk) 22:27, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Request on 05:22:13, 13 October 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by Colemanchris

• Colemanchris (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Artica (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello Onel5969, thanks for taking the time to review my article for creation. I've edited it to address your concerns, gutted the long features list which seemed like an advertisement, and replaced that with a reference in case any reader wants to see them. Plus many other edits to make it more organized and interesting to read. Just wondering whether you feel the article now addresses your concerns in the way you'd intended them. (talk) 05:22, 13 October 2015 (UTC) Colemanchris (talk) 05:22, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Colemanchris - It's much improved. I'm going to let it remain in the queue until another editor can look at it. Personally, I still feel it has to much promotional material in it (e.g. compatability section, among others), and I am still on the fence about notability. Although leaning more to the notability side now. Let's see what another editor feels. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 18:58, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969 - Thanks!! I had a sleep on this and have a quick question for you about the references. You'd commented that there were many references listed in the references section, pointing to web pages published by the company behind Artica. You're right there's about 15 (if I recall the number correctly) references to various factual pages published by the company (its Sourceforge page, statistics on the popularity of the control panel software, its business incorporation page, etc), and in that references list there are an additional 5 or so notable sources in the press (InfoWorld BOSSIE award winner, etc). Should the references to Artica's own web pages, be converted into hyperlinks, instead of references? It would be nice for raeders to be able to see easily the fact behind what is being referred to, and if having these company web pages listed in references is in any way diluting the value of the proper reliable notable third party references to Arica in the press, then maybe they should be converted into either hyperlinks or put into the "other links" section? Your feeling? Colemanchris (talk) 15:44, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

NPOV - how to improve (continued)

Dear Onel, Per the discussion archived here, there was an article on Center for International Environment and Resource Policy, that you tagged as lacking NPOV. The conversation ended inconclusively, and wanted to follow-up. I had two points to address: first, you suggest that some parts are too long and sound like a resume. Although I am not sure that this is grounds for something becoming lacking in NPOV, I can think of a solution to that: make the bios shorter, more succinct. The second, is about finding negative information on the organization, to make it feel more balanced. That, I beg to differ more significantly. NPOV should not require finding negative information, as there are many organizations that do their work without eliciting strong negative reactions that get covered in media. I did significant research on the organization, without finding the kind of criticism you were asking for. I think the article overall is a fine article, fully backed by references, well structured and worded, and I think we should find a realistic way to improve it and untag it. Please let me if my suggestion feels reasonable to you, and/or how do you think is the best way to proceed. Thank you.(talk) user:Al83tito 00:57, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

Update: following your views on how to improve the article, I have significantly downsized the bios section of the article. (talk) user:Al83tito 03:38, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

I have moved the discussion of this topic to the Talk page of the article, so others can more easily participate as well. Thank you.(talk) user:Al83tito 17:32, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

AfC: Loccioni group

Thank you for your review. I would like to understand why the article was tagged for advertisement. There is only one primary source (to the official website) which is only for the foundation year. The other sources are all third party "reliable" sources, such as il Sole 24 Ore, Il Messaggero etc. I don't feel the article is non NPOV either. I would be grateful if you could explain better so that I can improve it. About the notability, I think it complies with the guidelines given the coverage on national and international sources. --Ita140188 (talk) 06:18, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Already answered at AfC help desk. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 18:58, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

Please consider the following

Please, consider reviewing at least two (2) articles at

Good article nominations

, for every one that you nominate.

Thank you,

— Cirt (talk) 06:27, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Cirt - Absolutely. That's what I try to do 2-3 for every one I nominate (I think I'm at like 10 or so reviews and 3 noms). Thanks for all your input, it was extremely helpful. As I said on one of the GA talk pages, not just for these articles but also for any future articles I nominate. Pleasure working with you. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:17, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Oh wow, I didn't know you do that, that is my practice also — at least 2-3 for each one I nominate. How do you think we as the community can gently help suggest and foster an optional idea that other people do the same? — Cirt (talk) 20:54, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Cirt - I think what you did is a good start. I'm new to the GA process, but in the future whenever I pass an article, I'll leave that polite note about "paying it forward" by reviewing 2. Perhaps you could post on the project's talk page a suggestion that all reviewers do that? (since it was your idea). I reviewed several before posting my first one. Someone a year or two ago had suggested that if I got involved in GA, that was a good rule of thumb, so now that I'm trying to do several a month, that's my standard. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 23:33, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi O. I just saw this edit where you are trying to ping Cirt and I wanted to let you know that pings don't work unless they are made with a signature at the same time. So when you go back and add a ping to a post that you have already made you need to add a new signature to it. Cirt may have your talk page on their watchlist and will see your reply but just in case I will Cirt ping them now so you don't have to do it again. Cheers to you both and the "pay it forward" idea is excellent. MarnetteD|Talk 23:44, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

@

Wikipedia talk:Good article nominations/Instructions my ideas? — Cirt (talk

) 23:50, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

@

Wikipedia_talk:Good_article_nominations/Instructions#Require_oldest_candidates_get_reviewed_first. Opening it up, first, as merely a suggested addition, before making a change. Would like to hear discussion and feedback from others. Thank you, — Cirt (talk

) 09:32, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Vanity Page

I am unsure if you are an administrator, but could you report this page Tommy Sotomayor. It is a very slimy vanity page with no legitimate sources. 16:16, 13 October 2015 (UTC)~ — Preceding unsigned comment added by JreamRiley (talk • contribs)

WP:AFD. --NeilN ^{talk to me}

17:04, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi JreamRiley - First, no I am not an admin. Second, not sure why you feel that HuffPo, Jet, and Clutch are not legitimate sources. I was about to decline the Prod tag, but someone else has already removed it. And it looks like you had already replaced it once after it was removed. Prod tags, once removed can never be re-added. Anyway, take care. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:07, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

13 October 2015 Please provide specific advice on how to improve article!

• Johnsonclaire770 (talk · contribs)
  • talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hello, can you please outline a few examples of sentences you find to be subjective for my drafted wiki page? I have many sources only three of which are from a website connected to the subject of the page. Thank you! What information can I provide to eliminate questions of bias?

Johnsonclaire770 (talk) 19:25, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Johnsonclaire770, here are a few:

• The company provides seed and Series A, B, and C investments to startups, primarily in SaaS and marketplace industries.
• The company seeks out knowledgeable entrepreneurs, and invests in small technological, mobile, online industries
• Wertz's aim is to secure at least a 5% equity in each company
• Investors can range from Limited partners, to angel investors, to large corporations. In
• These individuals choose to invest their capital in a person they believe has the innovation to bring them equity in return

In general, customers want different information than researchers. Advertisements are geared to the former, articles to the latter. Researchers don't care about the standards for investing, or the products and services the company provides (except in a general way). Hope this helps. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 23:39, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

MicroAssist Submission

Hi, Onel5969,

Hope you are doing good. After all you assistance and advice, I submitted the Draft:MicroAssist last week. But it's still not approved. Please help me approve it and I'll keep refine the content as we discussed.

Thanks,

Jessicahuma (talk) 20:21, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

21:19:56, 13 October 2015 review of submission by Allycooks

• Allycooks (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Leonid Shtilman (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Thank you very much for taking the time to review my article for submission. I am somewhat new to Wikipedia and I was hoping you might be able to be a bit more specific about the sections that did not meet the wiki guidelines and any suggestions or links to articles that are more inline with how this should be written. Thank you in advance for your consideration and response.

Hi

WP:CIT on how to properly format citations. Hope this helps. I'm also going to leave a message on your talk page, with a few other helpful links. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

02:34, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Request on 15:44:32, 14 October 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by Chrijeff

• Chrijeff (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Rainbow Classics (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

I'm confused.

I can't figure out what you think is wrong with my article, or what I'm expected to do about it. Your suggestions are so technical that I can't understand them. Chrijeff (talk) 15:44, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Chrijeff - You haven't established the notability of your subject. You'll need about 3 in-depth articles about it from independent sources. I've left a brief message on your talk page with some links you might find useful. Take care. Ciao. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 02:40, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks fr your input to the PubNub draft article

Thanks a lot for your feedback to the Draft article we submitted, we will make the necessary adjustments and corrections and will let send a follow up message when we feel we were abel to provide a fix.

Thanks, Yigal — Preceding unsigned comment added by Yigal59 (talk • contribs) 21:49, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

You have been randomly selected to take a very short survey by the Wikimedia Foundation Community Tech team!

https://wikimedia.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_9mNQICjn6DibxNr

This survey is intended to gauge community satisfaction with the technical support provided by the Wikimedia Foundation to Wikipedia, especially focusing on the needs of the core community. To learn more about this survey, please visit Research:Tech support satisfaction poll.

To opt-out of further notices concerning this survey, please remove your username from the subscription list.

MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 18:57, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

23:19:38, 15 October 2015 review of submission by Leahnaz

• Leahnaz (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Bmai (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi Onel5969,

I created a new article for Bmai which was sent in for review and declined by you on September 21. I have been meaning to get in touch with you and other Wikipedia community members, but have been busy with a recent move to Europe. As I have explained to another user when I first submitted my page for review, I am unaffiliated with Bmai. I created this page out of my own interest because I admire their business model and want more people to know about it. Specifically, I'm referring to their ability to market great products at extremely reasonable prices. I have participated in some of the runner events that Bmai has organized, and therefore has come into contact with some of their employees. Since I'm a frequent user of Wikipedia, I thought of the idea of creating a Wikipedia page for them, and had a short conversation with someone in their marketing team to clarify a few things in my understanding. They supported me by providing product photos, which I hope to include in the Wikipedia page after it gets approved.

I phrased the Wikipedia page and consulted a few friends during the process. All the information is readily available on the internet - I simply gathered them in groups and paraphrased them in English. I tried my best to maintain objectivity in my language and keep everything factual, but understand that some parts may seem promotional. I would appreciate it if you can let me know if there are any specific sections or paragraphs that stood out in particular when you were reviewing the page. If the problem is more general, I would appreciate some pointers on stylistic things to avoid. Thanks a lot! Leahnaz (talk) 23:19, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Leahnaz - I think the problem is that you went to a marketing person. The entire article reads like a promotional brochure for the company. Don't sell us the product, simply tell us about the company. Don't list features or product lines, don't tell us about company visions or business models, tell us when the company was founded and by whom. Don't give us distribution lines. The lengthy review section also makes an already promotional article even more so. Hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:57, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Keith A. Schooley (draft including references)

Hi again, Thanks for your continued assistance. While I understood the incorrect date entries and the gist of what you were telling me about fixing the reference section, there are a couple of puzzles that have me afraid to attempt to redo the submission. First, in a few instances, I have 2 references for a single citation and noticed that in each instance, one was removed in the draft. Second, now that I have found web links to some of the articles, I'm not sure how to add them to existing references-- or maybe I'm supposed to eliminate the newspaper information and replace it with web link? In any case, I don't want to to erase what I've already done. So... I am going to copy and paste the entire draft (references and all). Is there some way one of the editors can take this and insert it properly for me? Here is the cut & paste for: https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Keith_A._Schooley&action=edit ; [email protected] - Sorry this is such an ordeal. Hillary Hillary Chase (talk)

Hi Hillary Chase - Can't really write much at the moment. I've moved the information to a sandbox page I created, which you can find through this link. Either you or I can make changes to it there. If you do make edits, please make sure to leave an edit summary. I probably won't get a chance to work on it until sometime Sunday afternoon/evening. But I will give it some time. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 23:13, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Okay Hillary Chase, finally got to take a look at the article. I formatted several of the first citations so you can see how it's done. Couple of things. Take a look at citation #3, I gave it a "refname", because you use it more than once in the article. So now where #5 used to be, I simply reuse the same citations, and showed you that so you would know how to do it in the future. Also, the newspaper article without online access, you should include the page number. I put the parameter in the citation, so you can simply add it there. Go through the rest of the citations on the sandbox page I created, and fix all of them and then let me know. When we finish editing it, I'll cut and paste it back to your draft space and you can resubmit. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 02:09, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

10:00:29, 17 October 2015 review of submission by EnergiKnut

• EnergiKnut (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Tino Sanandaji (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

I have done 11 references.

Margaret Sanger

Notice of Neutral point of view noticeboard discussion

Hello, Onel5969. This message is being sent to inform you that there currently is a discussion at Wikipedia:Neutral point of view/Noticeboard regarding an issue with which you may have been involved. Thank you. Guardthetruth (talk) 05:09, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

Please withdraw your request to semi-protect People of Tucson, Arizona

This is an ongoing content dispute in which you are in the minority. There is no vandalism going on. Why did you claim there was? I am very confused. Guardthetruth (talk) 08:36, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

When an ip makes an edit with an invalid edit summary, and then continues to insist on making that edit several more times without any explanation whatsoever, that's sort of the definition of vandalism. The fact that the ip is a sock kind of makes it more blatant. Cheers. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 20:06, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

GA nominee

Hai, I have nominated the film article

GA-status. Which is currently on "Hold on" time and there are some corrections to be done before it ends. Mainly copy editing for grammer and writting style. For making it a good article there are some suggestions referred in Talk:Loham. I invite you to make your contributions to it.--Charles Turing (talk

) 08:51, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

Renaissance Software page rejected

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Renaissance_Software username: alpharit

I am introducing the page in relation to the history of the risk management software programs to support financial derivative instruments trading. The trading of financial derivative instruments by large global banks grew rapidly in the early 90's. According to ISDA ^[1] the notional outstanding grew from 865 billion dollars at the end of 1987 to 29 trillion dollars at the end of 1997. Several companies developed software to book, value and run simulation for portfolio of swaps. Sungard Data Systems, Infinity, Cats Software, Renaissance Software were the companies involved in this new market as mentioned in the New York time article.^[2]

References

1. ^ [1] ISDA survey June 30, 2010.
2. ^ [2] The New York Times, March 30, 1994.

79.64.210.2 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

(

WP:SELFPUB

which has clear limitations on self published sources. Providing sufficient references, ideally one per fact referred to, that meet these tough criteria is likely to make the draft a clear acceptance (0.9 probability). Lack of them or an inability to find them is likely to mean that the topic is not suitable for inclusion, certainly today.

That is what is likely to be hindering acceptance of this draft. Might it not be better as a part of the Sungard article? Fiddle Faddle 20:03, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

04:56:57, 19 October 2015 review of submission by Jon.opus

• Jon.opus (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Panda Game Manufacturing (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

I've updated the page with a few more references including a book about kickstarter boardgame projects as well as a number of news sources and blogs.

Hi Jon.opus - still not sure it meets notability requirements. Will let another editor take a swing at it. However, you might want to edit the article, currently, it is little more than a promo piece for the company. Ads sell us a product, articles tell us about a subject. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:30, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

06:27:37, 19 October 2015 review of submission by Sush05wiki

• Sush05wiki (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Indian Copyeditors Forum (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello.. thanks for your comments. i will remove the hyperlinks to my sources and add inline citations. Will that do? the group is the initial phase now and these are the references i could find to it. Can you please guide me about what other sources i can use?

Also, can you please tell me where exactly the content sounds promotional? I have taken care to make it neutral. Please guide me.

Sush05wiki (talk) 06:27, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:TOOSOON. A google news search is a good place to look for articles from indpendent sources. Regarding promotion, don't sell us the product, tell us about the organization. When you start talking all hopes and dreams, going in-depth about what went on at organizational meetings, and talking about skill sets - those are things meant to attract members, not tell folks about the company. Hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

16:34, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

MasterOfIntegration / Field Device Integration

Hi, the reason you mentioned to reject our article is not understanable at all. We are talking about a technology standard that is commercially used. People want to understand pros, cons, themotivation of development and how it works and as well where to get information about the technology. This is not an article about physical or mathematical aspects for school.

We put a lot of effort in writing this article to help the potential users to understand why this technology is beneficial for them. I do not see any aspect that is 'commercial' in the article. Rather than just throwing the term I would expect concrete examples and clear expectations what has to be changed to get this stuff released. Just to state: Does not work, rewrite. Is not convincing or a 'good' help to improve.

It is quite disappointing what time it takes to get an article posted of something you developed with an international team for many years..disappointing! — Preceding unsigned comment added by MasterOfIntegration (talk • contribs) 06:40, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi MasterOfIntegration - you've answered the question yourself: a discussion of pros/cons is a sales brochure, not an encyclopedia article. I see you've resubmitted without waiting for a response from me, nor with making any improvements to the article. I wish you well. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 16:37, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

09:25:31, 19 October 2015 review of submission by 125.16.3.251

• 125.16.3.251 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:HTC Global Services (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi, I have followed the standard information about this company. I dont feel anything here seems to be an advertising. This is a standard styles i followed for other articles. Please specify where you want the changes. Thanks.

Hi - when you talk about services and how you service clients, that's pretty much an ad. As well as talking about visions and and aims, those are things customers are interested in, not article readers. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:13, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

10:51:06, 19 October 2015 review of submission by Parkywiki

• talk · contribs
  )
  • Draft:Herbert Alexander Wahl (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Thank you for taking the trouble to review my article and for feedback. May I politely challenge your decision based on non-notability? As I stated in the talk page for this draft, the person falls into notability because he is an expert scientist who has validly published and named one or more plant species or subspecies. That person has thus given his name in perpetuity as the 'author' - whenever that species or taxon is cited in the scientific literature. I would make the following points:

• All such authors are recommended to be treated as notable, as advised in WP:WikiProject_Plants#Botanists.
• They should all have links from the binomial_authority field as described in Template:Taxobox#Authorities.
• Each should also be listed on the page
  List of botanists by author abbreviation
  .

There are many examples of briefer articles in mainspace for notable authorities for species names (eg Frank White (botanist)), though all will use the standard author abbreviation template: {{botanist|J.Bloggs}} to cite a secondary source listing their contribution as a notable botanist (though I do think the template could be improved to automatically reference all the species authored by that person) An equivalent page still awaiting review that I've created on the same basis of notability is:

Draft:Carolus Adrianus Johannes Kreutz, and I expect there will be many more needed as I attempt to fix disambiguity in citing authors in various articles using this tool: Disambiguation tool for botanical articles

.

Thanks for your important input as a Wikipedia reviewer.

talk

) 10:51, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

Parkywiki - you bring up some excellent points. This is not my area of expertise, and before I tell you to go ahead and resubmit and I'll approve it, I've asked for some help from the plants project. When I hear back from them, I'll let you know. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

19:55, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks,

talk

) 20:32, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

10:53:58, 19 October 2015 review of submission by Rajuditchopra

• Rajuditchopra (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Ajitabha Bose (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Why my article is rejected? I have submitted reference of newspaper articles. Kindly look into this article.

Hi

WP:BIO1E he doesn't meet the notability criteria. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

19:59, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Pfeiffenberger Article Submission

Hello!

Thank you for taking the time to read/review my article I submitted to Wikipedia. I would really love to get the article accepted, so I will gladly make any changes.

I have removed the 'fluff' or peacock phrases throughout the article to assist in converting the article in a more neutral tone.

The references I have listed are from newspapers, books, historical societies, and the national registry of historical places I thought were valid sources for references?? Or did I just cite them improperly?

I am so grateful for your assistance if you could let me know the specifics of what to change/omit/add etc.

I am eager to here back.

Thanks again!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Lucas_Pfeiffenberger

Hello Onel5969 and SwisterTwister,

Thank you so much for clarifying the changes I needed to make to my article submission.

I have added multiple new sources as you suggested including more from 3 different newspapers, the book written by Cheryl Jett you suggest AND .. I went to our local historical society and with some research, was able to locate his original obituary from 1912!!

The only concern I still have is I am not sure I am citing them correctly. Using the resource you provided me about proper citation, I wrapped all my references in a [ref] tag and gave them a name="" attribute. Then, in the article I thought I correctly referenced them inline using the [ref name="" /] tag. However, I am seeing big red errors on my page in the Notes section. If you could possibly assist me further with citations, I am still confused on what I am doing wrong.

Article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Lucas_Pfeiffenberger

Thank you again for all your help BeallMansion (talk) 17:47, 26 October 2015 (UTC) BeallMansion

BeallMansion, first of all, please sign your messages with ~~~~ so it's easier to see the user's name and, second, the article looks good but will need more sources (and then I'll even be willing to accept). SwisterTwister talk 07:14, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CIT on the proper way to format citations, and then give a holler and I'll take another look. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:49, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi BeallMansion - I put the first three in the correct location, as well as adding a bit more formatting to them. I did the first 3, since they run the gamut of the 3 most commonly used: books, newspapers and weblinks. On books, make sure you include the title (which is missing for the first one), as well as the isbn # (you can usually find those on Amazon or Barnes & Noble); on newspapers, make sure you put the page #, if it is for an offline hard copy; and for weblinks, make sure you put the access date. I also cleaned up the bottom, so once you move the remaining seven into the correct position, all those messages will go away. Hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:13, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Onel5969,

Thank you so much for assisting me with proper citations! I have fix the rest of the references following the format examples you provided me with. ALL of my errors have now disappeared.. THANKS!! Do you think I am ready to try and resubmit the article about Lucas Pfeiffenberger for acceptance? I really appreciate you taking your time help me with this process.

Thanks, BeallMansion

Hi BeallMansion - Looks better. There's still some POV issues, such as "association was successful in raising enough money to complete the renovations, restoring the playhouse to its former glory." So try to avoid commentary and flowery language. Also, there are assertions which will need to be cited (or removed), such as "However, many of Lucas Pfeiffenberger's private homes and buildings are still in use to this day" and "However, his architectural business run by his descendants continued to exist for decades, carrying on the architectural legacy of Lucas Pfeiffenberger." After you clean it up, definitely feel free to resubmit. You can let me know on my talk page when you do and I'll take another look. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:19, 2 November 2015 (UTC)

---

Hiya Onel5969!!

Thank you so much for AGAIN assisting me with this article submission. Your advice has been so helpful. I have modified the POV phrases like you suggested so my language is not so flowery and full of commentary and removed the assertions I could not find citations for. I am hoping third time is a charm :o) and now the article meets your/wikipedia's standards for article approval/submission.

Thanks, BeallMansion

16:56:07, 19 October 2015 review of submission by 177.243.52.40

• 177.243.52.40 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Bozo Paradzik (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

You're not adding any questions or comments but I take it you're wondering why it's not accepted and that's because it needs more sources. SwisterTwister talk 07:14, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

05:43:58, 20 October 2015 review of submission by 125.16.3.251

• 125.16.3.251 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:HTC Global Services (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi, Please let me know the reason for declining this article. I followed the same style as i did for other articles. I have added all possible information. I request your guidance on this. Thanks.

This likely actually needs a rewrite to incorporate better information as a lead as well as any other available sources. Please familiarize yourself with links such as

Wikipedia:Your first article. SwisterTwister talk

07:14, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Peter Thompson

Regarding https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Peter_Thompson_(filmmaker) …

You seem to be a film buff. I'm hoping you can help me add an article about the filmmaker Peter Thompson. You rejected my draft, and I don't understand why. I have reviewed the notability guidelines, and I feel that they are adequately met. My article could of course be more comprehensive, but I have limited time to dedicate to this, and I think it's important to get this article started so that people better informed or more resourceful can pick up where I left off. There is no question that Peter Thompson is a significant enough filmmaker to warrant an article. You can take it as evidence that I myself who have no relationship whatsoever to the filmmaker has seen his films and was hoping to read more about him on Wikipedia. I was so disappointed to find nothing that I set out to create an article about him. When my article was rejected the first time on notability grounds, I added some more detail to support the notability claim, but I think it would be rather silly to just stuff the article full of accolades in order to make the case. Can you either tell me what I need to do to get the article added or, as an experienced editor, take it into your own hands? I don't care about the credit, nor about learning the rules and procedures of Wikipedia. I'd just like to see an entry about this great filmmaker on Wikipedia.

--Parsifalian (talk) 06:21, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Parsifalian, the article needs any more available sources for weight and depth. SwisterTwister talk 07:14, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi SwisterTwister, I have added 3 additional sources, including two academic articles. This is about the best that can be done for a non-commercial, experimental filmmaker. There are other resources online, but nothing, in my opinion, worth citing. My references show that a major film critic and a fellow filmmaker have included his works among the greatest of all time, and his work has exhibited in some of the world's top museums. I think this is strong evidence of notability. According to Wikipedia's notability guidelines, notability in the sense of being "popular" is secondary. Here are the requirements:

1. The person is regarded as an important figure or is widely cited by peers or successors. — I believe it is significant that his works are ranked by two independent sources as among the greatest of all time.
2. The person is known for originating a significant new concept, theory, or technique. — I doubt this requirement is satisfied, but if this were a hard requirement for filmmakers, there would be very few on Wikipedia.
3. The person has created or played a major role in co-creating a significant or well-known work or collective body of work. In addition, such work must have been the subject of an independent book or feature-length film or of multiple independent periodical articles or reviews. — Multiple articles and reviews are cited.
4. The person's work (or works) either (a) has become a significant monument, (b) has been a substantial part of a significant exhibition, (c) has won significant critical attention, or (d) is represented within the permanent collections of several notable galleries or museums. — Criteria (b) and (c) are met. I am not certain about (d). (a) does not apply.

I hope that now I have shown that the notability requirements are sufficiently satisfied. Please consider approving the article.

--Parsifalian (talk) 11:16, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

06:30:27, 20 October 2015 review of submission by Revolvar4500

• Revolvar4500 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Village Motors Group (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi Onel5969 Thank you for taking the time looking at our article, I am not an experience wiki article writer (noob really) so I'll appreciate your patience and guidance and know, that I will be doing my best to rectify this article. If you have any insight on the format/citation that would be much appreciated.... I welcome any help, from anyone... Thanks again.

The article needs better third-party sources, Revolvar4500. SwisterTwister talk 07:14, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Revolvar4500 - What SwisterTwister is dead on. Most of your sources are primary or non-independent sources. Others are press releases. We need articles from newspapers and magazines that speak about the company. Regarding the format of the citations, if I can get to it this evening, I'll go in and format 1 or 2 for you so you'll have an example. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 20:53, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Thank you guys, I really appreciated and I'll get on to your suggestions, again thank you very much I really appreciate the feedback and your time! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Revolvar4500 (talk • contribs) 22:12, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi guys, thank you for your feedback and for picking this up! Thanks to you the article I think it has improved. Some of the press/newspaper article are gone now however, I did managed to referrer a number of them. I am still fine tuning this, if you could have a look at the citation even though I did my best (am still a noob) I don’t think it’s displaying correctly. I would really appreciated your guidance, direction and help and if you could tell me how close am I for this to get the green light that would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance! Revolvar4500

Draft article resubmitted

Hi Onel5969,

Thanks for your help. I have edited and resubmitted the article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Graham_McIntosh.

regards Kevin User:Kevin Turner RSA — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kevin Turner RSA (talk • contribs) 07:47, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Kevin Turner RSA - I moved it to the mainspace. I formatted the 2nd citation as an example for you. It would be nice if you went back fixed the format of the rest of the citations. Congrats and nice job. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 21:00, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi again Onel5969, Thanks very much for your help and encouragement. I will go back and copy the format you have used for the second citation. regards Kevin Kevin Turner RSA

Please add WakuWaku Japan logo

Hey,

I am Mario Segale. Please add WakuWaku Japan logo on 'WakuWaku Japan' article. Thank you.

By mario1811111111111 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mario1811111111111 (talk • contribs) 09:53, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Mario1811111111111 - kind of difficult to do if I don't have the logo. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 21:42, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Martha Brockenbrough Draft article

I'm curious to know why nomination to the 2015 Kirkus Prize is not considered a mark of notability. JameswoodSK (talk) 14:22, 20 October 2015 (UTC)James

Hi JameswoodSK - because it's not a notable prize. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 21:41, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

16:17:26, 20 October 2015 review of submission by Norman777111

• Norman777111 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Gala Wilton F.C. (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Onel5969, I have updated the article and included references from independent sources. If you have time, please review and let me know if anything else needs to be changed.

Hi Norman777111 - I don't usually review FC articles, but I saw your draft was totally without references, so rejected it so you would know that was an issue, rather than letting it sit potentially for a week or two before a review. Now that it has references, I'll let another editor more knowledgeable about football articles evaluate it. Nice job on formatting the citations, btw. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 22:44, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

francis cauffman

Hello, I saw your comment re: the references and I maintain that the periodicals cited are bona fide prestigious magazines and newspapers. They include Crain's New York Business, the Philadelphia Inquirer, Architectural Record, Real Estate Weekly and Metropolis, among others. For architects, it doesn't get any better than these and I feel the mentions elevate the firm to the status required by Wikipedia for inclusion of an entry. How can they be improved? Writerondesign (talk) 17:17, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Writerondesign - Never said they weren't (although I must have missed the Crain's article, don't see it in the references). What I highlighted in my comment was that they must be independent (a press release in RE Weekly and World Architecture are not), and in-depth, which none of them are, they are mere mentions. To show notability, by Wikipedia standards, you'll need about 3 articles from independent sources which are in-depth about the firm. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 21:06, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

20:41:41, 20 October 2015 review of submission by Center for Native American Youth

• Center for Native American Youth (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Center for Native American Youth (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hello,

I have edited Draft: Center for Native American Youth to remove "peacock language". Please advise as to whether or not you consider any of the current text to be inflammatory. We are happy to follow your direction and hope to achieve publication soon.

Hi

conflict of interest issue. Please see the link on how to handle that. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

23:14, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Evan Falchuk wiki page

Hello,

[1]

I noted that there is no page for the Massachusetts politician Evan Falchuk who is the chairman of one of the 4 officially recognized parties in Massachusetts. If you type him in it redirects to the party page.

Falchuk is frequently on the TV, radio and in print.

Most recently, one of the main political programs on the public radio station (WGBH) did a 30+ minute interview with him - "What's Next for Evan Falchuk After Boston 2024?" ^[2].

The title is a reference to the lead role Falchuk played in stopping the Olympics. He was all over the papers on that one (Herald named him one of the 6 'winners' of the Olympics fight, and the Globe had him in a chart with David Ortiz, Mayor Walsh, Sen. Eileen Donohue and the Mayor of LA giving their opinion). He's right now involved in the effort to stop the use of state money on an IndyCar race here.

Anyway that interview quickly led to a controversy with the people promoting the 2016 IndyCar race in Boston, detailed on the WGBH site. ^[3]

As a Massachusetts political geek my question is that it seems strange that he doesn't have a wikipedia page, since people in massachusetts politics take him seriously and and it is a real miss for wikipedia not to have a page on him.

Thank you!!!!!

-- mapoligeek — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mapoligeek (talk • contribs) 21:18, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:NPOL for specific guidelines about politicians. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

23:21, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

References

1. ^ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Independent_Party
2. ^ http://wgbhnews.org/post/listen-scrum-podcast-whats-next-evan-falchuk-after-boston-2024
3. ^ http://blogs.wgbh.org/scrum/2015/10/16/kicking-tires-evan-falchuks-grand-prix-boston-grievance/

Revolvar4500 Draft:Village_Motors_Group

Hi One15969 Hi guys, thank you for your feedback and for picking this up! Thanks to you the article I think it has improved. Some of the press/newspaper article are gone now however, I did managed to referrer a number of them. I am still fine tuning this, if you could have a look at the citation even though I did my best (am still a noob) I don’t think it’s displaying correctly. I would really appreciated your guidance, direction and help and if you could tell me how close I am for this to get publish that would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance! Revolvar4500 LInk https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Village_Motors_Group — Preceding unsigned comment added by Revolvar4500 (talk • contribs) 10:10, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Revolvar4500 - It is improved, but LaMona's comments after this last decline are spot on. Avoid descriptive statements, commentary, subjective conclusions like "40 years of unrivaled customer service", "beautiful Redcliffe Peninsula", and "Growing the business rapidly". Just tell us about the business, don't try to sell it to us. We are readers interested in learning about a subject, not customers who are looking to be sold a product. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 23:32, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

HI Onel5969 & LaMona no worries I'll rectify this thank you again! do I come back to this thread or do I resubmit the article? I would like to check in with you guys to see if it's right to go before re-submitting, again your guidance and advice is much appreciated! Thank you

Hi Revolvar4500 - I don't want to speak for LaMona, but feel free to either simply resubmit, or request that I take another look at it. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 18:43, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

18:48:28, 21 October 2015 review of submission by CarolineFinucane

• CarolineFinucane (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Dan Fredenburgh (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Many thanks for this valuable feedback. I have now added Dan Fredenburgh's IMDb page as an external link, which verifies all the film and TV credits listed, and I have referenced every other credit listed. Please be assured that Dan meets the criteria for 'notability' - as you will see, he has had significant roles in many notable films, TV series and stage performances, and he has made a unique contribution to the film world with his film 'Broken Lines'. His fan base is hard to demonstrate as he shies away from social media and self-promotion. I believe you now have all the sources you need, but please let me know if the referencing is not to the correct format. Regards, Caroline Finucane

Hi CarolineFinucane - I see LaMona already moved the article to mainspace. Congrats. I formatted the first citation for you as an example, you might want to go back and format the others. I would also get rid of the Shorts section, and get rid of anything in the Stage section which isn't West End or Broadway. When you put stuff like that in an article it makes it look you're attempting to stretch the notability of the subject. Anyway, nice job. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:21, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

19:20:21, 21 October 2015 review of submission by Rogermazze

• Rogermazze (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Ambulatory Glucose Profile (AGP) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

The review requested additional references. There are news articles, consensus statements (in scientific journals), scientific papers that use AGP for clinical analysis, symposia proceedings (on video) and other sources that mention, describe, review and discuss ambulatory glucose profile (AGP). Should I include these sources in a re-submission? If so do I simply list them, or do I reference them in the body of the submission?

Thanks for Julian Rivero

Muchos Gracias for your excellent piece on the Poor Man's Paul Muni. He was incredibly prolific and never gained the attention he deserved.Foofbun (talk) 08:00, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks Foofbun - loved learning about him. If you know of any other sources, please let me know, I'd like to expand the article, but can't find any additional sources. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 22:11, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Please Watch This

You have removed my edits because you assumed they were wrong.

I don't know since when they started to produce the product.

Here is the proof this is not a hoax.

https://www.osem.co.il/en/product/sparkling-lemon-nestea/

There are more than this only flavor.

79.182.123.237 (talk) 17:00, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi - I removed it because it was mis-spelled, and the formatting was wrong. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 18:42, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Followup

I'm sorry for inconvenience but i'm new in Wikipedia as you see this is my only edit in Wikipedia. You are welcomed to edit everything I wrote with correct formatting and everything. I'm just new here.

79.182.123.237 (talk) 20:14, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

A cup of tea for you!

With this ever dramatic world including WikiDrama as well as winter coming, here's a cup of tea to alleviate your day! SwisterTwister talk 18:13, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks SwisterTwister, much appreciated. Especially after the day you had yesterday. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 00:49, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

19:23:36, 22 October 2015 review of submission by Miamicd11

• Miamicd11 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:West End (Florida) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hello, I appreciate your time and effort in editing this article. I am not sure what you mean by "non-local coverage". I have independent sources ranging from university studies to independent news articles and considering that the page is about a local community, it is very hard to find non-local sources. As a local unincorporated community there has been little to no non-local coverage. It would be very much appreciated if this page was approved. Once again, thanks for your time.

geography guidelines. Cheers, SwisterTwister talk

19:58, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Deletion sorting

Simply a hint in case you did not know, you can find AfDs at deletion sorting pages such as Wikipedia:WikiProject Deletion sorting/Actors and filmmakers, Wikipedia:WikiProject Deletion sorting/Business, Wikipedia:WikiProject Deletion sorting/Businesspeople, Wikipedia:WikiProject Deletion sorting/Companies, Wikipedia:WikiProject Deletion sorting/Bands and musicians and Wikipedia:WikiProject Deletion sorting/Organizations (alleviates some of the time and work searching through the daily logs, although not all AfDs are sorted sometimes). Also, if you find too many recently started articles at NPP, I like starting from the back using the "oldest" feature. Thanks again for being around here SwisterTwister talk 12:58, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

I knew there was something else I was going to mention but I was low with time earlier because of an appointment, it was....if you're ever interested to keep an eye for hoaxes (I saw your comment at AfD earlier) a lot of other users including myself watch (and add sometimes) Category:Wikipedia suspected hoax articles where you'll also see the list of found ones. I assumed you weren't familiar with this so I thought I would mention it. SwisterTwister talk 14:50, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Re feedback left for the 'Dan Fredenburgh' entry

Thanks for formatting the first citation for me. I'll go back and try to format the rest this way, and I'll also remove the shorts and plays you mention - thanks for the really helpful feedback! I'm really impressed with the efficiency of the Wikipedia system. Keep up the great work! Cheers CarolineFinucane — Preceding unsigned comment added by 81.109.249.206 (talk) 13:46, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

13:49:07, 24 October 2015 review of submission by Garranes

• Garranes (talk · contribs)
  • talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

I've been trying to add a page for the artist, Tighe O'Donoghue/Ross, but it has been denied twice due to inadequate citations. I'm having difficulty determining what more there needs to be. I've looked at articles of other artists and don't see that every comment is footnoted. I do feel that 'almost everything' has been footnoted. What is it that is missing? Without a more specific explanation, I don't really know what to do. Your guidsnce will be most appreciated. Thank you. Garranes (talk) 13:49, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Garranes - I hear your frustration. WP can be very exasperating at times. This is due to the entire underlying concept of the program: it is run by volunteers and by consensus. In this instance, your frustration is born out of the volunteer system. As volunteers, we can get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of entries. And AfC is only one of many projects which are overseen by volunteers. There is AfD, Patrolling, citation correcting, looking for valid citations for articles which don't have them (which you can see by comparing to existing articles), the list is pretty endless. When you realize that there are less than 5000 semi-active editors, and only about 500 active editors doing this on over 5 million articles (I think that's where the total is now), you can see the issue. Sometimes in our efforts to help as many as possible, we tend to be brusque. A good thing to do is what you have done, ask questions. Most editors will respond in a day or two.

Now to your specific question. When you look at other articles, it is a good practice to only look at articles in that category which are Good or FA status. Many articles are not up to those standards. Regarding citations, this is a blp (bio of a living person), so it is held to an even higher standard. When you state a generalization about a non-contentious claim, you most likely won't need a citation (although any editor can ask for one, and delete the fact if one is not provided). An example would be You could say, "O'Donoghue served in the Air Force", and that might not be challenged, but when you make a specific claim that he was a flight commander and served a tour in Libya, that would definitely need to be cited (and you have). In the Education section you make assertions about his degrees and cum laude, those would definitely need a reference. As would the second sentence in that section. When you make assertions like "he became a well-known printer...", those types of statements ALWAYS need citations, otherwise they are simply opinion, or

WP:OR

. Same thing with the opening paragraph in "Work".

In its current state, it needs quite a few more citations. Where are you pulling this information from? How do you know he is a prolific painter who, like Picasso, has kept much of his work? You see what I'm getting at. He seems like a notable artist, but this article needs work. Also, please take a look at

WP:CIT on how to format citations. Anyway, I hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

14:10, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Hello, Onel/Phoenix. Thank you for such a prompt and comprehensive response. This is helpful. How do I determine which articles are Good or FA status for reference?

I know the artist and some of the content is based on conversations with him. Some of the information included, to my knowledge, is not available in any pubic record. His time in the Air Force was 50 years ago. I am not aware that there are any records of his tour and duties, but the information is on the O'Donoghue/Ross website. I've cited it three times already. Is it OK to do it further? I'll work on the citations. Thank you!Garranes (talk) 14:56, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:OR, so can't be used. To verify info in the article, however, the use of his website is perfectly acceptable (although that doesn't go towards notability, since it's not independent). You can cite it as often as you need to, but beware of relying too much on a single source. Mix it up with other citations. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

15:06, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

I've been reviewing the citation formats. What if I can't 'retrieve' an article or review from a newspaper or magazine online? Some of the publications are no longer around. I have access to the hard copy. Thanks again. Garranes (talk) 09:00, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

You can still use sources which are available offline. Simply don't use the url parameter. It's more difficult for others to research, but we always

assume good faith, that the source actually exists. When you do use offline sources, make sure you include all other paramters: date, page number, title, author, etc. Let me know when you've got it finished and I'll take another look. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

12:35, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

18:39:15, 24 October 2015 review of submission by Zoodc

• Zoodc (talk · contribs)
  • talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

I don't think this is a fair assessment of this page. The sources are varied and NOT press releases. Also it is more widely sourced than this article from a comparable company. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Payoneer I'm not sure how it is that different.

Thanks.

Zoodc (talk) 18:39, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Zoodc It's a start but please add any more available sources. Cheers, SwisterTwister talk 07:18, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Request on 19:25:25, 24 October 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by Nunesdea

• Nunesdea (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Groupvision (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi there,

I understand that there is a request for secondary sources but I cannot include this URL as a reference, an error message saying it is too long: http://www.digitalavmagazine.com/2013/10/17/groupvision-acude-a-simo-educacion-con-una-pdi-de-marca-propia-workscreen-idonea-para-aulas-interactivas/

Also, our company has organized public notorious events such as the Iberian Healthcare Summits in both Spain and Portugal, which have been echoed in the news:

http://www.europapress.es/islas-canarias/noticia-palmas-gran-canaria-acogera-iii-cumbre-iberica-lideres-salud-20121212155438.html

http://www.regiondigital.com/noticias/extremadura/134422-fernandez-vara-participa-en-la-cumbre-iberica-de-lideres-de-sandiad-en-la-ciudad-portuguesa-de-evora.html

http://www.infosalus.com/salud-investigacion/noticia-canarias-brigida-mendoza-asiste-sevilla-ii-cumbre-iberica-sanidad-20120125132940.html

Besides this we also have a healthcare forum in the Portuguese-speaking world - Forum Hospital do Futuro - with notable awards initiative:

http://www.portaldasaude.pt/NR/rdonlyres/2D5A21DD-E0FB-462F-B91D-5E511C241C15/0/VencedoresHdF_2013.pdf

http://www.portaldasaude.pt/NR/rdonlyres/9CF64192-02B3-4927-B92C-82DB70663274/0/DossierImprensaHdFFinal.pdf

http://www.scml.pt/pt-PT/destaques/_premios_hospital_do_futuro__distingue_programa_inter_geracoes_da_santa_casa/

http://healthportugal.com/noticias/exatronic-distinguida-nos-premios-hospital-do

http://lifestyle.sapo.pt/saude/noticias-saude/artigos/vencedores-dos-premios-hospital-do-futuro-revelam-projetos-ambiciosos-e-inovadores

For all this I think we deserve an article in Wikipedia. My question is, are these above-mentioned articles sufficiently reliable to testify that the public initiatives Iberian Healthcare Forum and Forum Hospital do Futuro, organized by our company would help to establish notability and if so, should I add them in the article?

BTW it is funny that you are now living in Arizona, our company's foundation has a lot to do with the Ventana Corporation a spin-off from the University of Arizona.

All the best, Nunesdea (talk) 19:25, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Nunesdea (talk) 19:25, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Nunesdea - I want to give this a bit more time than I have today or tomorrow. Will look at it on Monday. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:14, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Keith Schooley revision sandbox newbie

OK... that was much more complicated than I'd originally thought from your message. I noted your first three corrections and tried to apply them to my text edit for the remainder of the draft. I did not erase my links because I wasn't sure I was supposed to (even though your links had been removed, because I didn't see my references turn blue indicating a link had been established)... Secondly, because I assumed that a, b, c, etc indicated that I was to erase the duplicate references, I erased the duplicate references. However, because I kept finding additional duplicates later in draft, instead of erasing the letters and starting from scratch (which terrified me, thinking I'd be hopelessly confused once the references were erased) I picked up with the next letter in the alphabet, which I hope is either acceptable or you will fix it for me, being the kind, patient person I now know you to be... Finally, I found page numbers for some of the news stories but not all... In any case, I hope I am at the point where the draft can be resubmitted. So, below I have pasted the altered text for https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Keith_A._Schooley&action=edit. ...If you do fix the draft to the point where it's ready to be resubmitted, if you are able to copy & paste & send the correction to me at [email protected]. rather than placing in sandbox, that will save me from trying to open sandbox. Thanks again so much for dealing with a newbie. Chandra

Hillary Chase - Please don't paste entire articles on the talk page. That is why I created User:Onel5969/sandbox4. Go there and make your edits. Do not copy and paste to the talk page, simply work on it there. I'll see the changes, and can guide you and tell you what you did right and what you did wrong. Regarding the citations, simply copy the format I did on the first several. Don't add numbers, don't add letters. Do you see numbers or letters in the 3 I formatted (other than dates and page numbers, that is?). Give it a shot. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:12, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Draft: Tipalti

You declined this draft article. Its author (who appears to have a

Teahouse for advice. You might want to comment. Robert McClenon (talk

) 00:26, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the heads up, Robert McClenon - He left a message above, and apparently I didn't respond quickly enough for him. I answered on the Teahouse. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:04, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Adam Seelig

Thank you for reviewing the "Adam Seelig" article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Adam_Seelig

It has now been edited and resubmitted.

Independent, reliable, published sources include: New York Times, Globe and Mail (Canada's National Newpaper), New York Review of Books, Oxford University Press, The Economist, etc.

Please let me know how it looks now.

Thanks, Chadgadya — Preceding unsigned comment added by Chadgadya (talk • contribs) 17:33, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

PS from user Chadgadya, should have signed the post. Cheers. Chadgadya (talk) 19:53, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CITEKILL. I'd go through the article and only keep the top two citations (at most) for any of the facts involved. When you put 6 citations for a single fact, that seems like you're attempting to inflate the importance of the subject. Congrats, and keep up the good work. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

17:06, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Many thanks Onel5969. Will tidy citations, as you suggest. Much appreciated, Chadgadya (talk)

AfDs

Hey, I would appreciate if you comment at the following and think of it as a helpful boost at looking at older AfDs : Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/HomeMatic, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Nicodemus David Hufford III, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Alfred J. Loos Fieldhouse, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Jumbleme (digital encryption service), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/YDreams, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/J.Son Dinant, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Darius Foster, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Paras Joshi, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Marvet Britto, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Joe L. Reed, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Brad Richter, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Andrew Craissati, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Margate Entertainment, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Muniruddin Ahmed (2nd nomination), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Rajesh R Jain, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MHM Services, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/MMGY Global, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Robert Mason (singer), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Ney M. de Vasconcellos, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Carolina Beer & Beverage (as you're a beer fan, I'm not sure if you two are acquainted ), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Lexis PR, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Wonder Stories (band), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Kamu Mukherjee, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/The LOGOS Ministry, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Pentagram (Indian band), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Alexander Fechner, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Prayag Jha, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Evan Vucci, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/The Dakshana Foundation, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Dan Kimmel, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/The Teen Tamer, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Fred M. Manning, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Heera Group UK, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Harjap Singh Bhangal, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Mark Stoddart, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Leonard Filgate, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/FusionOne, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Simone Sheffield (2nd nomination), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Merajuddin Khan, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Oyuny Chadvar, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bigwig (band), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/David Hamilton (tenor), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Elii Geba, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Eugene Higgins, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/TPP Law Limited, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Renata von Tscharner, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Abagail Grey, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Venkat Viswanathan, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/WuGeo, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Roshan (telco), Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/K. L. Dhammajoti, Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Jyoti Prasad Saikia and Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Oscar Sanchez (music industry executive).

I hope to get a consensus with a lot of these because I have some others set and waiting to be launched for AfD. SwisterTwister talk 06:05, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Suggestions to improve the article

Hi

I need suggestions to improve the page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:ASBCoimbatore

thanks --Jshrikrish (talk) 13:06, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Jshrikrish - Okay, there are a few issues. First, beware of the tone throughout, phrases like "the highest possible grade for the second time in a row" are simply promotional. Also, beware of using industry terms that a normal reader might not understand, like "b-school", instead use business school. Third, there is an interesting dichotomy of too many references in some places and none at all in others. A good rule of thumb is that unless something is very contentious (which nothing in this article is), at most you should have 2 citations. So pick the best two (most in-depth from the most prominent source), and get rid of the others. Then there are paragraphs which make assertions which are wholly unsourced. My suggestion is to get rid of all the subsections in the Campus section, and simply have 1-2 paragraphs which generally describe the campus. Get rid of unnecessary details like the hours of operation. Then you can probably use a single citation from the organization's own website to document the campus. I hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:17, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Writerondesign

Thanks. I'll review the entries and correct. Writerondesign (talk) 14:01, 26 October 2015 (UTC)

Humanitarian Accountability Partnership International

The HAP page was changed because the organisation does not exist anymore. What's the point of having information on an organisation that's not existing anymore? What's the point of listing it's "services" and "donors" if these are not relevant anymore? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aidepikiw2003 (talk • contribs) 12:34, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Aidepikiw2003 - using that rationale, should we also delete all the information from the article on the USSR? Just because something no longer exists, doesn't mean the information isn't valid. Simply means the information is most likely in the wrong tense. Notablility isn't temporary, if the organization was notable during its existence, that notability doesn't go away simply because its gone out of existence. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 17:19, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

The USSR is still relevant for a proper understanding of today's geopolitics. It's a whole different ball game. A comparison is ridiculous. Moreover, I wasn't trying to delete the HAP wiki page, but reduce the amount of information on HAP, to increase the relevance of the article. Granted, to understand where "humanitarian accountability" came from, it's important that HAP is still present on Wikipedia, but information on its donors and range of services creates the impression that it's still operational, which it is not. Aidepikiw2003 (talk) 08:18, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Draft Re-review

Hi Onel,

I have managed to edit the article and have made it non promotional. have changed wordings used appropriate references.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:KAYA_LIMITED

Please go through the same and do the needful.

Many Thanks, Gayatri — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gayatri.radhakrishnan (talk • contribs) 14:15, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Gayatri.radhakrishnan - The sections highlighting services and awards are overly promotional, making the entire article seem like an ad. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:18, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

14:36:00, 27 October 2015 review of submission by BelindaVanDyk

• BelindaVanDyk (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:A. J. Meek (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Regarding the basic criteria for people presumed notable and the golden rule, the following may clarify why this submission should have fulfilled these requirements for a Wikipedia page.

Prof. Meek has published five photography books of his work including three by major university presses. He also published the only major biography of the photographer, Clarence John Laughlin. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_John_Laughlin).

He work has been in significant exhibitions as cited in the submission and additional exhibitions can be included.

His work has received significant coverage in multiple published secondary sources that are independent of each other and independent of the subject, citing the scope of his participation and contributions to fine art photography.

His work is included in publications; such as, A Unique Slant of Light: The Bicentennial History of Art in Louisiana, KnowLa: Encyclopedia of Louisiana, Treasures of LSU, Doubletake, Folklife in Louisiana Photography: Images of Tradition, Aperture: Beyond Wilderness, S F Camerawork, and A Century of Vision 1884-1984.

His work is included in permanent collections of notable galleries and museums as cited in the submission and additional collections can be included.

These entries were not included in the submission but could be added:

He was the recipient of several grants for his work; such as, two Louisiana Endowment for the Humanities grants for “Vanishing Sugar” and for “Clarence John Laughlin”, two Southern Arts Federation and the National Endowment for the Arts Fellowships, Division of the Arts Fellowship, and National Endowment for the Arts Exhibition Aid Grant.

He took the portraits of these 26 women: Remembering the Struggle, edited by Roberta Madden. Portraits and oral histories of 26 Baton Rouge women who have struggled for human rights. Made possible by grants from the Louisiana Humanities Council and the Louisiana State Arts Council. 1983.

His photographs were published on the book jackets of the following: Flannery O’Connor’s South, Robert Coles, LSU Press, 1980. ISBN 080710655 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Coles

The Southern Reporter Stories, John William Corrington, LSU Press, 1981.

ISBN 9789897108697 Parameter error in {{ISBN

}}: checksum. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_William_Corrington

Baby, A Novel by Kirsten Thorup, translated by Nadia Christensen, LSU Press, 1980

ISBN 9780807107727 Parameter error in {{ISBN

}}: checksum

Please advise what else is needed to deem this “notable” and /or to add to the submission. Thank you.

Hi BelindaVanDyk - There's not a single in-depth article from an independent reliable source. You'll need about 3 of them. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:21, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

15:08:38, 27 October 2015 review of submission by Leahnaz

• Leahnaz (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Bmai (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi Onel5969,

Thanks for getting back to me earlier. I'm sorry to hear that the article sounded like a promotional article, that is definitely not my intention. I've deleted the "Mission and Vision" section and deleted certain sentences, but believe that some of the other sections are valuable for Wikipedia users. First of all, the "C2M" section does not outline Bmai's business model, but rather explains how Bmai is able to market its products at a fraction of its competitors'; I feel like this is pretty important for users who are learning about the brand. I constructed the "Products and Services" section because most Wikipedia articles on companies that I have come across (a few examples being Fitbit, Xiaomi, Adidas) have a section on products and services - is this not recommended? I also thought that the section on distribution lines would inform readers, especially about the physical stores, which are more interactive than traditional stores. As for the "Reviews" section, I thought that this provides an array of user feedback to inform readers of the articles about what people liked and disliked, but agree that it can be made more concise. Please let me know what you think, I want to make this article as user-friendly as possible. Thank you for your time. Leahnaz (talk) 15:08, 27 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Leahnaz - No, product lines are discouraged for the most part, it's one thing if the products themselves are notable, but otherwise that's simple advertisement. Distribution lines are only of interest to buyers. And again, the lengthy review section becomes promotional. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 01:41, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Village Motors Article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Village_Motors_Group

HI Onel5969 & LaMona Would you be so kind to have a look at my article, I have made a few changes… again please keep in mind that this is new to me and I appreciate your guidance and help. I know it might not be 100% and I am not sure if there’s a couple of things that meant to be there but… If you do find something, can tell me exactly how to fix it, that would be much appreciated. Thank you! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Village_Motors_Group

Hi.

WP:MOS to see the use of bold and italics. All in your article need to be removed. The awards section is simply promotion. You can mention the fact that they have won several industry awards, but if the award is not-notable, which none of these are, then there is no need to mention it. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

01:58, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

HI Onel5969 & LaMona John from Idegon thank you for your feedback and of course I noted John from Idegon's input. I will amend. P.S do you want me to remove all the CEOs of the company? also am not proclaiming that i am experience on this and I know this article needs some work hence I am asking for help...

Hi. Revolvar4500 - Again, please remember to sign comments on talk pages with the 4 ~. Yes, remove the big CEO section from the article. You mention corporate folks in the infobox, which you have done. You can also mention them in the article, if they are notable themselves (have their own wiki article, which these do not). Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:07, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

UrbanToronto.ca Draft

Hi there Onel5969,

Thanks for reviewing my UrbanToronto.ca draft. I've edited the draft again and am wondering if you can take a look and let me know your thoughts? It can be found here Draft:UrbanToronto.ca

Thanks --Be McD87 (talk) 15:00, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Be McD87 - Still very promotional. The first two paragraphs are okay, but the last two are simply promotion. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 02:01, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

IMdb

Hi, Onel. I'm sure not sure I would trust IMDb for that. IMDb is supposed to be like Wikipedia in that there's no original reporting and everything is supposed to come from a reliable source. That being the case, if there's no outside reliable source for a piece of information and it's only in IMDb, that seems like a red flag. --Tenebrae (talk) 15:18, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Review waiting

Hi, could you please review my changes?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Tino_Sanandaji

With kind regards Knut Nordahl EnergiKnut (talk) 15:49, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CIT. Second, I'm not seeing the types of references needed to show notability. You need about 3 in-depth articles from independent, reliable sources (usually magazines, newspapers or books). Most of the citations are by Sananda, which means they are primary and cannot be used for notability, and the others seem to be simply mentions of him. The media section is also useless. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

02:08, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Abradable Powder Coatings submission

Hey there, friend/stranger/internet neighbor! I revised my draft for the Abradable Powder Coatings page submission, could review it and give me a few pointers on what it is missing or contains that is keeping it from being accepted? I'm working on this for an extra credit assignment in my Auto-Tech class and the deadline to receive credit is November 13th so I would like to attempt to fix it up and get it accepted and online before then if possible. Thanks for your time and thoughts and help!

Regards, FauxToez https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Abradable_Powder_Coatings — Preceding unsigned comment added by Fauxtoez (talk • contribs) 01:17, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Fauxtoez - First, you shouldn't have deleted the decline template, for that was the mechanism you would use to resubmit it. The third paragraph is going to need a citation, other than that, it looks good. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 18:51, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

05:28:11, 29 October 2015 review of submission by Vchukkrit

• Vchukkrit (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Sarasas Witaed Suksa School (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Hi, Onel5969 Please tell me that why did my article declined also please give me some suggestions, so I can improve this article to meet the wiki guideline requirements. Thank you ---Vchukkrit (talk) 05:28, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:GNG. Hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

19:15, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

11:25:06, 29 October 2015 review of submission by Iwantprivacy

• Iwantprivacy (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:PureVPN (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time out to review my draft. I totally understand the reason behind removing the Feature section being too promotional. However, I'd like to request clarification on why the entire submission was declined despite giving proper references from credible, verifiable and noteworthy sources like The New York Times, CNet, Choice Magazine, Mashable and others? I have even edited the article to reflect a few more sources. Please review the page once again. Thank you. Iwantprivacy (talk) 11:25, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

My user name is Iwantprivacy

The article I want reviewed is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:PureVPN

I have added more sources to the article and posted a detailed response. I'm confused as to what I'm doing wrong as other competitors like Private Internet Access and Golden Frog have similar pages. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Iwantprivacy (talk • contribs) 11:28, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Iwantprivacy - To establish notability, you'll need at least 3 in-depth articles about the company from independent sources, which you currently don't have. Press releases and interviews don't count in that regard. In addition, the article is still highly promotional. Don't see us the products, tell us about the company. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:25, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

speedy deletion...

In your comment, at

speedy deletion criteria

? Do you think that, if the article was not currently being discussed, and you had nominated it for speedy deletion, under A7, that an administrator would have agreed, and deleted it?

Practically none of our articles contain an explicit statement that says XYZ is notable because ... Rather contributors recognize all kinds of implied assertions of notability. In Sarah Coyne's case, after her half brother won the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada reporters went to her, and asked her if she had plans to enter politics herself. I suggest that this is an implied assertion of notability, and that most administrators would have declined your speedy, suggested you use {{

afd

}}.

Note: A7 now links to a supplementary essay, Wikipedia:Credible claim of significance, which states: "A claim of significance need not amount to a statement that, if sourced, would establish notability."

If the article is deleted, I am likely to discuss that decision with the closing administrator. And if they claim a lot of people thought it should be deleted, I will remind them afd is not a vote and they are supposed to weigh the strengths of the arguments, base their conclusion on the strengths of the arguments.

Cheers! Geo Swan (talk) 16:26, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

you drop the stick.Onel5969 ^{TT me}

20:43, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Re-submission of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Lawrence_Harrison

Thank you for your helpful feedback. I made a few modifications but I was wondering if these were enough? That's person notoriety is pretty high -- he authored a few books, one of them is the highly influential Culture Matters, and has appeared numerous times on TV and is references by another important Wikipedia article (on the Theories of Poverty) So any more feedback would be greatly appreciate. Thanks! Sdolovsky (talk) 20:53, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Sdolovsky - Definitely better sourced now. I'd get rid of the seperate section "Political position", as well as verbiage such as "staunch". Simply insert into the end of the notable arguments section. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:29, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

23:56:22, 29 October 2015 review of submission by BelindaVanDyk

• BelindaVanDyk (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:A. J. Meek (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

Thank you for responding so quickly. [There's not a single in-depth article from an independent reliable source.] Actually there are already several articles listed under “additional reading” written about A J Meek with photographs of his work:

• Country Roads Magazine, article by Lucie Monk
• Louisiana Life Magazine, article by John R Kemp
• Treasures of LSU, article by Marchita B Mauck
• Southern Accents, article by Mark Mayfield

Additional articles that have not yet been noted in the submission:

“A Sense of Place: A Sense of Presence, A Louisiana Retrospective Show 1977-2001”, photographs by A J Meek and essay “A Sense of Place; A Sense of Presence” by Dr. Richard Cox. Exhibition at Louisiana Arts and Science Museum, Baton Rouge, July 31 – September 16, 2001. Funded by various local, state, and national grants. http://www.livingstonparishnews.com/article_792effbf-b167-51ab-ad86-1082d5fedfba.html http://www.worldcat.org/title/sense-of-place-a-sense-of-presence-a-louisiana-retrospective-show-1977-2001/oclc/51762540

The South By Its Photographers, Birmingham Museum of Art, University Press of Mississippi, 1996. Author Susan Sipple Elliott, introduction by Dr. John E. Scholder, Director, and statements of the jurors: Ellen Dugan, Curator of Photography, The High Museum of Art; Alex Harris, Editor, DoubleTake, Professor of Documentary Studies, Duke University; and Philip A. Norris, Editor-at-Large, Southern Progress Corporation. http://margaretsartor.com/publications/the-south-by-its-photographers

“Battlefield, Photographs of Civil War Battlefields – Vicksburg to Gettysburg,” photographs by A J Meek. Sponsored The United States Civil War Center, David Madden, Director, and essay “Battlefield: An Appreciation” by Dr. Richard Cox. Exhibition at Hill Memorial Library, Baton Rouge, September – November 1995. http://www.hnoc.org/ajmeekexhibition/

Aperture, Beyond Wilderness, article “Unbounded Wilderness” by Berry Lopez. Issue 120, Summer 1990. http://aperture.org/shop/aperture-120-magazine

See also: http://www.worldcat.org/identities/lccn-n85313761/

DADABASE, museum of Modern Art http://arcade.nyarc.org:80/record=b746888~S8

Regarding the work of fine art photographers, the work speaks for the artist; and invitational solo, three-person, group exhibitions and catalogues by museums and galleries attest to the relevance of the photographer. Many documentations of this artist were before the digital age; and since they are not verifiable through the internet, they were not included.

According to Wikipedia’s basic criteria for creative professionals: art is an original creation by the photographer (artist). Meek has created a significant body of work over a period of 40 plus years, using 8 x 20 banquet camera with 8 x 20 film and contact prints; 8 x 10 field camera with 8 x 10 film and contact prints; and 4 x 5 field camera with 4 x 5 film and contact prints. His work as been included in major exhibitions and is represented within permanent collections of galleries and museums. His five photography books would not have been published if the managing editors didn’t think his work was notable.

Hopefully, this additional information will give you a better insight into creative work of fine art photographers and their contributions in the form of books, exhibitions, and collections. Please let me know – thank you.

Hi BelindaVanDyk - Feel free to resubmit and get a different perspective from another editor. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:32, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Cabin in the Sky Article

Hi, You said you had to delete my page about Cabin in the Sky the musical because there was already a page. If you look at the page on Wikipedia you will see (besides the first paragraph) the entire article is about the movie. The cast, song list, production history, and the fact it mentions the Academy Awards show that it is about the 1943 film and not the 1940 musical. Is there a way to recover my page and publish it? There is very little information on the musical Cabin in the Sky online and I would love for people to have information about this musical. --Aimgrund (talk) 00:31, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

Draft:Cabin in the Sky. And no, I didn't realize the existing article was based on the film. Looking at it, some of it has to do with the film, some with the play. Not familiar with the material, is the plot section more akin to the play or the film? Anyway, hit the resubmit button on your draft, and I'll approve it, then convert the other article to the film. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

01:30, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Trying to understand reasons for rejection

Hi Onel5969,

Thank you for reviewing my contribution on ETP Group at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:ETP_Group

Request you to kindly help me understand the specific points on account of which the article had been rejected. As, I had reworked the article after the first rejection and am unable to put my finger on which part of the article makes it seem like an advertisement even now. Is it one of the referemnce

Would appreciate you guidance in understanding this and thus improving my contribution.

Thank yuo in advance.

Best regards, variesx.i — Preceding unsigned comment added by Variesx.i (talk • contribs) 09:03, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Variesx.i - It's not the references, which frankly I didn't even look at. It is the highly promotional tone of the article. Don't sell us the product, tell us about the company. Don't go on and on about its expertise, its user friendly stuff, how they meet customer's needs... and so on and so on. Get rid of the products and B&M sections. And if they have partnered with major companies, you're going to need a citation for it. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 19:35, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

17:51:30, 30 October 2015 review of submission by Markallenconcepts

• Markallenconcepts (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Shea Gordon (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs
    )

I have been working with Shea Gordon's official Biographer, Rebecca Offish, who is a professor and writer at University of Missouri Kansas City. Together we wrote the body text and included references. I believe this extended encyclopedic article gives more information and helps prove Shea's notoriety and should become a part of Wiki's official index. If this article is successful, we also have plans to edit and create more articles on important and notable female figures in Kansas City, helping to bridge the gap between the notoriety of the sexes. Also, we have two images that we would like to include in the article, but I am waiting for acceptance first before I include the images as well. Thank you so much for your help and please keep me posted on the progress of this article. Thank you- Mark Allen

Hi

conflict of interest, please see the link and make the appropriate declaration. Hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

13:53, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

For all your efforts

		The Guidance Barnstar
		I am in awe of the amount of work you put in, and patience you exhibit, helping the many editors who submit new articles. You are tireless in trying to explain to them how things work around here. Like all teachers everywhere you are seriously underpaid :-) Best regards. MarnetteD|Talk 19:46, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Aw, Gee... shucks... Thanks MarnetteD! Onel5969 ^{TT me} 13:59, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Requesting advice or help

My page for the Zola Story was denied and I was wondering if you could give a hand? I edited it some more and resubmitted it, probably should have waited again. --Matt723star (talk) 04:59, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:CIT on how to properly format citations. Third, your large quote blocks need to be trimmed way back. Finally, I don't think the story is notable enough. Part of notability is that it is not temporary. In two months, this story will be forgotten. Sorry, but I hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me}

14:30, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

07:06:49, 31 October 2015 review of submission by Gracielle1

• Gracielle1 (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Mirchi (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi! Can you give suggestions on what to do or add in the article for it to be be approved. Hope you could assist me on this. Thanks and regards.

Hi Gracielle1 - First, the sources you use don't show the notability of the restaurant. Brief mentions, short articles, and listings do not show notability, they merely show the restaurant exists. You'll need 3 in-depth articles from reliable, independent sources about the restaurant to show it is notable. Second, your article has a slight promotional tone. For example, "Authentic spices are used to complement rather than to overshadow the other ingredients. A show kitchen, contemporary decor and a superb menu are all available to bring a one-of-kind experience to customers" is pure promotion. Good promotion, since it makes me want to eat there, but still promotion. Hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 14:45, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Request on 14:52:10, 31 October 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by TeamJFH

• TeamJFH (talk · contribs)
  • Draft:Jakarta Fashion House (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

Hi. I had a go at submitting an entry for a business here in Indonesia but was rejected as I was told it sounded like more of an advertisement rather than to your standards. I'm super new to this and was trying to get this entry in based on similar businesses here. Is there any writers that can maybe check what I;ve done and point out the corrections? Sorry to ask, just not sure how to get it accepted.

Thx for your time all the same Neill

TeamJFH (talk) 14:52, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

conflict of interest

. Please go to the link, and see what declarations you should be making.

Now, about the article, don't sell us the product, tell us about the company. Don't talk about brands, lines, desires, business plans/models, featrues, etc. The Indonesian fashion section needs to go away, only include stuff like that in relation to the company, and back it up with reliable, independent sources. I hope this helps. Onel5969 ^{TT me} 15:44, 2 November 2015 (UTC)

Thank you

− Great work on the creation of the article

John Kelly (actor, 1901-1947), which came to my attention because I watch an article about a film in which he appeared. Many thanks. However, it looks like you used a special character for the hyphen in the date 1901-1947 in the title. That means that links work, because you used the same character when linking, but one can't go to the John Kelly article by typing the title because that character is not on keyboards. Any chance of a fix? Akld guy (talk

) 20:24, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi

WP:NCPDAB. According to that, a range should not be used, simply the year of birth, so I'll go and make those changes. Thanks for the catch (and the compliment)! Onel5969 ^{TT me}

21:31, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

Excellent. Thanks for your prompt attention. Oh, and sorry about posting on your user page instead of here on your Talk page. I knew better but it was morning and I hadn't had my first shot of coffee for the day. Akld guy (talk) 22:05, 31 October 2015 (UTC)