Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/The class the stars fell on/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by SchroCat 13:46, 27 November 2015 [1].

The class the stars fell on

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:04, 3 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list now that all issues have been resolved from the previous review. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:04, 3 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Maile — Maile (talk) 21:13, 7 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Review from Maile

Comments from Maile

Citations - # 30 seems to have an error (probably the date). It doesn't point to anything.
Table format - You have scope="col", but no scope="row"
Images

The 1914 West Point Baseball team - needs alt text

Joseph T McNarney is missing Source, Date and Author on Commons

Hubertharmonsmall, except for "U.S. Air Force Photo" had no other summary information. I transferred it to Commons for you, but please check the information over there.

Otherwise, nice work. — Maile (talk) 19:14, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I have resolved all the other issues, but I don't understand the comment on the table format. What should be done? Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:35, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry if I was unclear on the table format.

WP:DTT, to facilitate those with screen readers. You need both the scope="col" as you already had it set, and scope="row" at the beginning of each and every row. I did the first row for you, as an example. Just do the same at the beginning of every row. — Maile (talk) 22:56, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply

]

Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:31, 8 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Support - — Maile (talk) 17:10, 9 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Support~~Comments~~ by Peacemaker67

there is a typo in the alt text for the baseball team pic "the their"
Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
otherwise, toolbox checks are all green
I assume plebe is a shortened version of wikt:plebeian, and that there would be sources to support it? Perhaps a note to that effect?
Added a link to the Wiktionary
an explanation that First Captain was the No. 1 cadet would help
Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"grandsons as well" is unclear, does this mean they were just grandsons of graduates, or sons of graduates and grandsons of graduates? Perhaps Three members of the class were both a son and a grandson of a graduate
Somns of graduates and grandsons of graduates. Clarified. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
the whole "sons" para with the semi-colons doesn't work IMO. Prose-wise, it's impenetrable, and should be a bulleted list.
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"pulled some strings" is a bit colloquial
Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
both commissary and post exchange should be linked, they are strange terms to everyone but Seppos.
Probably only the ones who have lived on a base. Linked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Suggest moving the explanation of CGSS to immediately after fn31 for continuity
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
According to the information provided, Bradley was the first to wear "a" star, not "stars". I know, pedantic, but...
Well, there was one on each shoulder... but done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Van Fleet should be linked at first mention, also worth pointing out that Van Fleet commanded US and UN forces in Korea
Added a bit. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:27, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
in the Notes section, the newspapers and websites are in shortened version as a citation and don't appear in the References section, but books are in the References section. I'd be much happier if all references were in the References section, whether books, newspapers or websites.

Otherwise, looking good. I'll allow those who have more of a clue than me about such things to pipe up about the syntax for the table, but it appears from the previous nom that issue has been addressed. Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 08:21, 13 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Added my support. Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 09:56, 17 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by PresN

Recusing myself as a delegate in order to review this list.

"There were also two four-star generals, seven three-star lieutenant generals, 24 two-star major generals and 24 one-star brigadier generals" - numbers (of a type) need to be consistent here, either numerals or words- this should be either "There were also 2 four-star generals, 7 three-star lieutenant generals, 24 two-star major generals and 24 one-star brigadier generals" or "There were also two four-star generals, seven three-star lieutenant generals, twenty-four two-star major generals and twenty-four one-star brigadier generals". I'd recommend the first.
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Only 164 graduated and were commissioned as second lieutenants on 12 June 1915, but they were still the largest graduating class up to that time,[7] and the US Army had only 105 slots available for them." -> "Only 164 cadets graduated and were commissioned as second lieutenants on 12 June 1915, but that was still the largest graduating class up to that time,[7] and the US Army had only 105 slots available for them."
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure why an article about an American military group uses European date styling...
Per
MOS:DATETIES: articles on the modern U.S. military use day-before-month, in accordance with U.S. military usage. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply
]

It's slightly confusing to call the head of the cadet battalion "highest ranking" and then talk about someone else being "ranking first" (best grades), though I'm unsure of a good solution
Reworded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:11, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"the son of Major General George LeRoy Irwin a Medal of Honor winner" - comma before "a"
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Harmon was preceded by his two older brothers, Kenneth B. Harmon, of the class of 1910,[25] and Millard F. Harmon, Jr., of the class of 1912.[26] Hubert was ejected" - completely threw me; maybe call him "Hubert Harmon" instead of just Hubert the first time you do that, so that the reader realizes that it's the same person
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Extraordinary times produced some extraordinary individuals." - uh, editorializing much?
Removed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"While the Army's training program attracted criticism, both at the time and subsequently, and failed in some key areas" - criticized for what, and failed at what?
Lots of things. How long do we have? Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:27, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"The first member of the class to wear a star was Omar Bradley, who, skipped" - no comma after who
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"He had been returned to the grade of captain on 22 January 1920, and promoted to major again on 1 July 1920, only to be returned to captain again on 4 November 1922." - tense shift, the rest of this section is "he was"
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"During World War II, there was little time for class sentimentality." - editorializing again, and left completely unexplained; I'm assuming that there was some idea of preferring your classmates over other officers at the time, but that's a complete assumption on my part.
Re-worded. Added a quote from Eisenhower. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Golden Knights should not be italicized.
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The Henry Aurand row in the table has the refs split onto two lines; this is the only row that does that
Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 42- the publisher is just Time, not Time magazine
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 44- publisher should be italicized and linked to Smithsonian (magazine)
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
You link United States Military Academy as the publisher on ref 5, but the first time that publisher is used is ref 2. Link the first use or all uses, please
Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:51, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
And that's it! Overall it's quite great, gives a good sense of the careers of the generals. Amusing that the eventual ranks of the generals and their class rankings have basically no correlation. If this review was helpful, consider optionally reviewing my FLC up above. --Pres N 16:27, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Now Support. A very informative list. --Pres N 21:17, 19 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:
There's a run of a few sentences which each begin with a similar clause ("As a result, fourteen more cadets received appointments to the class, which they joined six weeks late, in August 1911. As a consequence, they were known as the "Augustines". They thereby missing out on the infamous period of hazing known as Beast Barracks), this could probably stand to be reworded.
Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:54, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Also, "they thereby missing out" should either be "thereby missing out" or "they thereby missed out".
Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:54, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"In 1937, Brigadier General George C. Marshall felt that in merging instruction on command and staff duties, the Command and General Staff School had neglected former had been in favor of the latter". The last clause here seems in need of a re-write ("had neglected the former and had been", I think seems the intention)
Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:54, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Promotion was glacially slow, as promotion was by seniority". You don't need to use "promotion" twice in the same sentence here.
Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:54, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

It seems strange to me that the entire "Careers" section uses no images yet we have plenty of suitable images for the article; a quick browse turned up File:EstevesWP.jpg, File:Leland Hobbs.jpg, File:John W Leonard.jpg, File:Thomas B Larkin.jpg, and File:Omarbradleywestpoint.jpg, all taken at West Point. I think the first and last of these look the best, personally, and one of them could easily break up all that text while also being pretty relevant.
The 1915 Howitzer? Yes, I have cadet images of all of them. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:54, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure I follow; but the new football team image is pretty nice. Might not be a bad idea to push one of the team pictures into the next section though. GRAPPLE ^X 21:23, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Overall it seems interesting and well-presented. I'm leaning in its favour. GRAPPLE ^X 14:46, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Support based on the changes made. GRAPPLE ^X 21:23, 20 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This
WP:FLC/ar, and leave the {{featured list candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. – 13:36, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply
]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.