Shiva (Judaism)
Shiva (Hebrew: שִׁבְעָה, romanized: šīvʿā, lit. 'seven') is the week-long mourning period in Judaism for first-degree relatives. The ritual is referred to as "sitting shiva" in English. The shiva period lasts for seven days following the burial. Following the initial period of despair and lamentation immediately after the death, shiva embraces a time when individuals discuss their loss and accept the comfort of others.[1]
Its observance is a requirement for the parents, siblings, spouses, and children of the person who has died. It is not a requirement for an infant who was less than thirty days old at the time of death.[2] At the funeral, mourners wear an outer garment that is torn before the procession in a ritual known as keriah. In some traditions, mourners wear a black ribbon that is cut in place of an everyday garment.[3][4] The torn article is worn throughout the entirety of shiva. Typically, the seven days begin immediately after the deceased has been buried. Following burial, mourners[5] assume the halakhic status of avel (Hebrew: אבל, 'mourner'). This state lasts for the entire duration of shiva.
It is necessary for the burial spot to be entirely covered with earth in order for shiva to commence. During the period of shiva, mourners remain at home. Friends and family visit those in mourning in order to give their condolences and provide comfort. The process, dating back to biblical times, formalizes the natural way an individual confronts and overcomes grief. Shiva allows for the individual to express their sorrow, discuss the loss of a loved one, and slowly reenter society.[6]
Etymology
The word shiva comes from the Hebrew word shiv'ah (Hebrew: שבעה, lit. 'seven'), referring to the seven-day length of this period.
Biblical accounts similar to shiva
A number of Biblical accounts describe mourning for fixed periods; in several cases, this period is seven days. For example, after the death of
Biblical mourning involved refraining from feasts, songs, and Temple rituals. Amos declared to the people that God would "turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentations" as a punishment for sin, describing this mourning as similar to "the mourning for an only son".[9] After two of the sons of Aaron, a High Priest, were killed, Aaron refused to eat the animal sacrifices, saying this would be inappropriate at a time when he was mourning the sons' death.[10]
Stages of bereavement
The process of mourning begins with the first stage, otherwise known as
Computing the timing of shiva and sheloshim
The shiva period commences immediately after the burial. The remainder of the day (until sundown) is considered to be the first day of shiva, even though it is only a partial day. On the seventh day (e.g., on Monday, if the first day was Tuesday), shiva ends in the morning after shacharit prayers (if no public services are held on the morning of the seventh day, a service is conducted in the home of the mourner); thus, the seventh day is again a partial day. The sheloshim (thirty-day period of mourning) continues until the end of morning services on the 30th day, 23 days after the end of shiva; as with shiva, the two partial days at the beginning and end are counted as full days.[1][12]
Had the news of a close relative's death reached them 30 days after their deceased relative had expired, the 30th-day included, the mourner is only obligated to sit in mourning for one day. However, had the news of a close relative's death reached them within 30 days after expiration, the mourner is required to sit in mourning for seven days.[13]
Religious holidays during times of mourning
Religious holidays during shiva and sheloshim change the mourning period slightly. Because Judaism embraces the holidays with joy, the sadness and grief associated with mourning are meant to be set aside until the holiday concludes. Typically, if an individual dies before the beginning of a holiday, the holiday removes the observance of shiva or sheloshim. The days of the holiday are counted towards the days of mourning, and the rules enforced during mourning are revoked in order to encourage the celebration of a holiday. If a death occurred during the holiday or unknowingly, mourning commences after the holiday ends. In other situations, if the entirety of shiva has been observed prior to the start of a holiday, the holiday will cancel the observance of sheloshim, signifying the fulfillment of this period of mourning.[1]
The occurrence of a major
Sabbath
During Shabbat, private mourning continues, while public mourning is suspended. Individuals are permitted to wear shoes and leave their home to partake in public prayer services. In order to prepare for Shabbat, individuals are allowed to interrupt shiva for up to one hour and fifteen minutes in order to cook, dress, and perform other tasks. If this is not enough time to do so, in certain situations there may be two and a half hours allotted for such.[1]
Passover
During Passover, any days in observance of shiva before the start will equate to seven when the holiday begins. Since Passover is celebrated for eight days, any mourning prior will total to fifteen days when holiday ends, leaving only fifteen days of observance of sheloshim.[1]
Shavuot
During Shavuot, any days in observance of shiva before the start will equate to seven when the holiday begins. The first day of Shavuot equates to seven days. The second day of Shavuot is considered the fifteenth day, leaving only fifteen days left of observance of sheloshim.[1]
Sukkot
During Sukkot, any days in observance of shiva before the start will equate to seven when the holiday begins. Since Sukkot is observed for seven days, any mourning prior will total to fourteen days when the holiday ends. Shemini Atzeret is considered the eighth day of Sukkot, and equates to seven days of mourning. Simchat Torah is considered the twenty-second day of mourning, leaving only eight days of observance of sheloshim.[1]
Rosh Hashanah
During Rosh Hashanah, any days in observance of shiva before the start will equate to seven days when the holiday begins. Yom Kippur following Rosh Hashanah, will symbolize the end of mourning, and the end of both shiva and sheloshim.[1]
Yom Kippur
During Yom Kippur, any days in observance of shiva before the start will equate to seven days when the holiday begins. Sukkot, following Yom Kippur, will symbolize the end of mourning, and the end of both shiva and sheloshim.[1]
Yom Tov
If the death occurs during Yom Tov, shiva does not begin until the burial is completed. Burial may not take place on Yom Tov, but can during the intermediate days of Sukkot or Passover, otherwise known as Chol HaMoed.[1]
Chol HaMoed
If a burial occurs on Chol HaMoed of Passover, shiva does not begin until after the Yom Tov is completed. In the Diaspora, where most Yamim Tovim are observed for two days, mourning does not take place on the second day, but the day is still counted as one of the days of shiva.[1]
Shiva customs
There are many traditions that are upheld in order to observe shiva. Throughout this time, mourners are required to stay at home and refrain from engaging with the social world.
Keriah
After hearing of the death of a close relative, Jewish beliefs and traditions instruct individuals to tear their clothing as the primary expression of grief. The process of tearing the garment is known as
Washing hands
After being near or around the deceased, it is ancient custom to wash oneself, or at minimum wash one’s hands, as a means of purification. After a funeral, or visitation to a cemetery, individuals are required to wash hands as a mark of spiritual transition through water.[20] During shiva, it is especially mandatory to do so before entering the home. There are many different origins of this tradition, though the act is typically associated with symbolic cleansing, the idea being that death is impure in a spiritual sense. Within Judaism, the living is thought to emphasize value of life rather than focus on death. When washing hands after visiting the deceased, it is custom to not pass the cup of water used from person to person. The reason behind this stems from the beliefs and hopes of stopping the tragedy it began, rather than allowing it to continue from person to person as symbolized by the passing of the cup.[1]
Meal of Condolences
The first meal which should be eaten after the funeral is known as the seudat havra'ah (Hebrew: סעודת הבראה, "meal of comforting"). Traditionally, mourners should be served the meal of condolences by neighbors.[21] The act of preparing such meal is considered to be a mitzvah. Though being the tradition, if the meal of condolences is unable to be prepared by a neighbor, extended family may do so, and in the last case the mourner themselves may prepare the meal. It was seen that many times following the death of a loved one, individuals who were in mourning possessed a death wish and often attempted to undergo starvation. The meal given to them upon returning home provided warmth in order to lessen such wishes. In order to be deemed the meal of condolences, the food selections must contain several specific dishes. An example of this is bread, which is symbolic for the staff of life. Aside from this, the meal must contain hard-boiled eggs, cooked vegetables, and coffee or tea. Often wine is allowed to be served as well. The only time the meal of condolences is not served occurs when there is no public observance of mourning or if the individual died by suicide.[1]
Candles
Within Judaism, candles are symbolic of special events throughout life. They are lit during major holidays, during Shabbat, and during the process of mourning candles are required to burn for the entirety of shiva. Prior to the death of Rabbi
Mirrors
Individuals who are in mourning, or in a shiva home, are required to cover mirrors from the time an individual dies until the end of shiva. There are several reasons Judaism requires this. The first reason may stem from the idea that man was created in the image of God. In doing so, man acquires the same dignity and value as God. When a creation of God dies, this lessens his image. The death of human beings disrupts the connection between the living man and living God. Since the purpose of mirrors is to reflect such image, they are covered during mourning. A second reason mirrors are covered in Judaism branches from contemplation of one's relationship with God during the death of a loved one. At this time, individuals are instructed to focus on grief and mourning rather than themselves. In order to prevent selfish thoughts, all mirrors are covered within the homes of mourners. A third reason which depicts why mirrors should be covered comes from the law which states that an individual may not stand directly in front of an image or worship one. Therefore, mirrors and pictures are hidden during mourning.[1]
Pictures
Some have an additional custom to cover all pictures of people.[14]: p.54 (3:37), p.179 (16:4) [24]: pp.229–230 One reason, which is linked to the covering of mirrors (and, by some, all pictures of people too) is that prayer services are held in the house of mourning, if a quorum can be gathered, and "Jewish law clearly states that one may not worship an image or standing directly in front of one .. picture .. mirror."[1]: p.104
Shoes
Leather shoes are not permitted to be worn during the observance of shiva.[25][26][27] The reasoning behind this involves a lack of luxury. Without leather shoes, an individual is able to concentrate on mourning and the deeper meaning of life. However, exceptions to this rule include pregnant women[28] and those with ailments of the feet.[29][30] Aside from those observing shiva or sheloshim, guests and individuals who are not should refrain from wearing leather shoes in the home of mourners as well.
Personal grooming
Similar to the idea of wearing leather shoes, hygiene and personal grooming fall under the idea of the task being done for pleasure. Such acts are prohibited during the observation of shiva or sheloshim as they are seen as actions done for physical comfort.[31] However, there is a fine line which separates grooming for hygienic reasons and for comfort. Therefore, in order to prevent grooming for comfort individuals who are mourning are instructed to only bathe separate parts of the body, head, and face. On top of this, cold or cool water is recommended. The use of cosmetics is not allowed as this constitutes an act done for comfort and pleasure.[32] However, the exception to this rule is a woman who is a bride, is engaged to be married, or is dating to be married.[32]
"Sitting" shiva
"Sitting" shiva refers to the act of sitting on low stools during times of mourning. As mentioned in the
Mourning finds its expression in the sorrow and anguish of the soul and in symbolic, external actions. Different communities have practised different customs during the actual process of "sitting" shiva. Sephardic Jews no longer sit whilst draped in their Tallit, but Yemenite Jews still follow the ancient Jewish custom of sitting seven days whilst draped in a Tallit. The practice is alluded to in the Talmud (Mo'ed Katan),[36] and in the writings of the early rabbinic authorities.[37][38][39][40]
…and he (i.e. the mourner) requires uncovering his head. What is meant by uncovering the head? It is exposing the hair and exposing the head from [being covered] by his hat or his habit, or similar things, and [allowing himself only to be] draped as the draping of the Ishmaelites, as we cite [concerning the leper] (Lev. 13:45): ‘And his head shall be bare’…[41][42]
Among
Place of observance
The ideal place to observe shiva is in the home of the deceased individual. If this is not possible, the second best place is in the home of a relative close to the deceased. During the observance of shiva, individuals are generally not permitted to leave the premises. However, there are certain exceptions to this rule, including: not having enough room to house for every individual observing, the loss of another loved one, and the inability to conduct services in the home. If an individual mourning is allowed to leave the home, they must do so without disturbing others and never alone.[44]
Prayers in the shiva house
Praying in the home of a mourner is done in order to demonstrate respect for the grieving individual as well as the deceased. Even as early as 1790, the "Hebra Maarib beZemanah Oheb Shalom" (חברה מעריב בזמנה אוהב שלום) organization was founded in order to provide mourners observing shiva with a minyan.[45] During 1853 in London, the "Hebrath Menachem Abelim Hesed Ve Emeth" organization was founded to accomplish a similar goal. Throughout history, prayers during mourning have been important. However, during shiva, the prayers change slightly.
Kaddish
During the process of mourning, Kaddish is typically recited. Rather than losing faith in the religion, Jewish traditions require those who have experienced the loss of a loved one to publicly assert their faith in God. This is typically done in front of a minyan. The recitation of Kaddish is done in order to protect the dignity and merit of the individual who died within God's eyes.[18][19] Judaism believes that prior to a soul's entry into heaven, a maximum of twelve months is required in order for even the worst soul to be purified. Though the entirety of mourning lasts for twelve months, Kaddish is only recited for eleven months so as to not imply the soul required an entire twelve months of purification.[46]
Mourner's prayer
Traditionally the true mourner's prayer is known as El Malei Rachamim in
Minyan during shiva
A minyan is traditionally a quorum of ten or more adult males. Often in Conservative, Reconstructionist, or Reform communities, a minyan is composed of a mix of ten or more adult males and females. During shiva, a minyan will gather at the home of those in mourning for services. The services are similar to those held at a synagogue. During shiva, however, certain prayers or verses are either added or omitted. During the days that the Torah is read in a synagogue, it is likewise read at the shiva home. An effort is made by the community to lend a Torah scroll to the mourner for this purpose.
Changes in service during mourning
The following changes are made in the Shacharit (morning) prayer, listed by order in the prayer service:
- Omission of the Priestly Blessing[14]: p.187 (16:25) and Hallel on Rosh Chodesh.: p.188 (16:26
- Omission of Tachanun and Nefilat Appayim;[14]: pp.184–185 (16:20) similarly, on Monday & Thursday mornings (before Torah reading), Erech Apayim is omitted.
- Omission of Psalm 20[49]
- Omission of Psalms 90[50]
- Addition of Psalm 49 - Redemption of the Soul (Hebrew: למנצח לבני קרח):[14]: p.189 (16:29) twice per day: mornings, also evenings (Sfard) or Mincha (Ashkenaz).
- Substitution of Psalm 16 for Psalm 49 on days when Tachanun is omitted[14]: p.189 (16:29)
- Omission of Pitum Haketoret[51]
In addition, the following changes are made in other prayers:
- Omission of Tachanun and Nefilat Appayim from the Mincha service
- Omission of the six Psalms before Friday night services[14]: p.267 (28:6)
- Spices are omitted from use in the home of a mourner during Havdalah (the end of shabbat).[52]
See also
References
- ^ ISBN 0-8246-0126-2.
- ^ Rabinowicz, Harry (1964). A Guide to Life — Jewish Laws and Customs of Mourning. London: Jewish Chronicle Publications. p. 57.
- ISBN 978-0-87441-528-5.
- ^ "Mourner Observances". shiva.com. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- J Weekly. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- ISBN 9780671202989.
- ^ Genesis 50:10
- ^ a b Job 2:13
- ^ Amos 8:10
- ^ Leviticus 10:19
- ^ "The Stages of Mourning in Judaism". Chabad.org. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- ^ Goldstein, Zalman. "The Periods of Mourning". Chabad.org. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- OCLC 42433185.
- ^ ISBN 0-89906-171-0.
- ISBN 978-0873340045.
- OCLC 42433185.
- ^ Maimonides (1974). Sefer Mishneh Torah - HaYad Ha-Chazakah (Maimonides' Code of Jewish Law) (in Hebrew). Vol. 7. Jerusalem: Pe'er HaTorah., s.v. Hilkot Avel 8:1–2
- ^ ISBN 978-0824604547.
- ^ ISBN 978-0824603052.
- ^ "Shiva" (PDF). Oheb Shalom. Archived from the original (PDF) on April 6, 2018. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- ^ Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 205:7
- ^ "Ketubot 103a".
- ^ Proverbs 20:27.
- ISBN 978-1-59826-636-8.
- ^ "Moed Katan 15b". Sefaria.org. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- ^ Y.D. 380.1 and 382.1.
- ^ Ibid 375:1, 376:4, 382:1 Bet Yosef.
- ^ Y.D. 382.2.
- ^ Orach Chayyim 614.3.
- ^ Shulhan Arukh 382:2.
- ISBN 0-88125-802-4.
- ^ a b Y.D. 381.6.
- ^ Rabinowicz, Harry (1964). A Guide to Life — Jewish Laws and Customs of Mourning. London: Jewish Chronicle Publications. p. 60.
- ISBN 0-88125-802-4.
- ^ "A Guide to Jewish Mourning Laws and Practices" (PDF). Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- Meiri's commentary, Beit ha-Beḥirah (ibid. s.v. אבל חייב בעטיפת הראש), he writes: "The mourner requires having his head covered, so that he will not remain bare-headed; his head being draped in such a way that part of his face is covered in front of his eyes, as well as below in front of his lip, so that he might appear as a man brought under submission and broken. Insofar that God has said to Ezekiel (Ezek. 24:17) [at a time of joy], 'Do not lay a covering upon your moustache,' we learn the reverse of what the entire world is required to do [when they are in mourning]."
- ^ Maimonides (1974). Sefer Mishneh Torah - HaYad Ha-Chazakah (Maimonides' Code of Jewish Law) (in Hebrew). Vol. 7. Jerusalem: Pe'er HaTorah., s.v. Hilkot Avel 5:19
- OCLC 42433185., s.v. Hilkot Avel
- Shulchan Arukh(Yoreh De'ah 386:1)
- Kiara, S. (1972). Ezriel Hildesheimer (ed.). Sefer Halachot Gedolot(in Hebrew). Vol. 1. Jerusalem: Ḥevrat meḳiṣei nirdamim., Hil. Avel (p. 439)
- OCLC 780181558, s.v. “Hilkoth Avel” (Laws concerning the Mourner), pp. 46–47
- David Kimchiwrites in his commentary on Ezekiel 24:17: "The mourner requires uncovering his head, from [wearing] his hat, but drapes himself with his habit. By covering up one's moustache together with one's head, it is a sign of mourning."
- OCLC 1041776317
- ISBN 0-88125-802-4.
- ^ Roth, Cecil (1950). The History of the Great Synagogue. p. 61. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- ISBN 9781625648174.
- ^ Eisenberg, Ronald L. "El Maleh Rahamim". My Jewish Learning. Retrieved November 30, 2019.
- ISBN 978-0827607606.
- ^ Ibid. pp. 75–76.
- ^ Psalms 90:17
- ^ Keritot 6a. pp. 219–220.
- ^ Ibid. p. 370.