Talk:Hagley, Tasmania

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Reviewer: Ɱ (talk · contribs) 15:05, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be starting this review soon.--ɱ (talk) 15:05, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

WP:WIAGA
for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose is "
    clear and concise", without copyvios
    , or spelling and grammar errors:
    Please see below for some spelling and other suggestions. Done.
    B.
    lists
    :
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an
    appropriate reference section
    :
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B.
    Focused
    :
  4. Is it
    neutral
    ?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are
    copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content
    :
    B. Images are provided if possible and are
    suitable captions
    :
    I would recommend all images have alt text.
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
    Holding for my suggestions Done.--ɱ (talk) 12:12, 26 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Suggestions

I think that according to most article standards, the section "Town and surrounds" should be changed to "Geography and demographics", with the "Climate" section moved there as a subsection. The climate chart should have its title as title case or sentence case, not all-caps as it is now.

Fixed - Peripitus (Talk) 12:01, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Also, you mention St Marys Church often, although you have three cases of it as "St Mary's" (with an apostrophe) and seven as "St Marys" (without an apostrophe). Do you know which is correct, and can you make the article consistent based on that?

the apostrophe is correct - fixed now. Peripitus (Talk) 12:01, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • Although "Port Dalrymple" is explained later on, its first introduction has me clueless as to what and where this is
  • In the phrase "European Settlement", the word settlement should be lowercase
  • "Coursing" should probably be lowercase.
  • On the other hand, "Modernist" (as an architectural style) should be uppercase (title case)
  • In "St Mary’s Anglican church", the word "church" should be uppercase.
  • "Gothic Revival" should be uppercase as an architectural style
  • "Hagley mill" should be uppercase as "Hagley Mill"
  • In the sentence "This plant opened in 2013, from 1902 until then...", the comma should be a semicolon (;)
all fixed - Peripitus (Talk) 12:48, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

History

  • "Lt Governor William Patterson" should be linked to William Paterson (explorer) - done - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "inn" doesn't need to be wikilinked- done and decapitalised elsewhere. - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • There's a sentence that goes "...it was first called "The Country Inn", It by James East, who..." where I think you should remove ", It"- done - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the block quote, the sentence uses "Mr" both with and without the full stop/period. Is that correct to your source? - done - the source had a period after both - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Ploughing matchches" should have "Ploughing" lowercase- done - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • I see you make good use of the Convert template, although you miss one when mentioning the 260 acre farm of the Glenore school- done - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • You probably shouldn't link the word "blacksmith", seeing as you don't link other common words like "school" or hotel" in that sentence- done - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gaol" should be wikilinked, many international readers have absolutely no idea what that word means- done. Its hard to know sometimes what translates and what doesn't - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Kerosine Lamps" should have the word "Lamps" lowercase- done - Peripitus (Talk) 12:42, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sports

  • "Coursing" should be lowercase - fixed - Peripitus (Talk) 12:36, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • What does "on a specially laid on train service" mean?
Means that the rail company ran a special train just for this coursing event. I've changed this to "Tasmanian Government Railways ran excursion train service from Launceston for the event." - Peripitus (Talk) 12:36, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • For the sentence "Hagley's recreation ground opened on the main road in 1902, until then...", the comma should be replaced with a semicolon - fixed - Peripitus (Talk) 12:36, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Shortly after that, a sentence reads "until 1902, the moved", which doesn't make sense - fixed. They moved to the recreation ground....I missed out some letters and words - Peripitus (Talk) 12:36, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Water supply

  • In the sentence " As Hagley's water was not fully...", there's a full stop/period that should be a comma
fixed thanks - Peripitus (Talk) 12:27, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is Ben Lomond Water significant enough to be mentioned here or red-linked? Often private businesses are excluded from direct mentioning
Yes. Ben Lomond Water is a government (local) owned corporation formed from the amagamation of a number of local council's water supply departments across much of the north of Tasmania, and it's formation and operation was covered by the state Water and Sewerage Corporation Act. It may eventually though be part of an article on water supply in Tasmania, depends on how dedicated I feel. - Peripitus (Talk) 12:27, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Religion and churches

  • "a Gothic architectural style" should be replaced with "the Gothic Revival architectural style", given that it's not medieval Gothic
  • "Modernist" (as an architectural style) should be uppercase
  • Later you mention "St Mary's is built in a Gothic architectural style", which should again be replaced with "the Gothic Revival..."
fixed, fixed found and fixed - Peripitus (Talk) 12:18, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Education

  • You don't need to say "In the 21st Century" because if left out the sentence still makes sense
Removed - you are correct - Peripitus (Talk) 12:11, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the sentence "Hagley, and Sheffield, were the first two area schools in Tasmania.", the commas should be removed
I do seem to like commas a mite much. Gone now - Peripitus (Talk) 12:11, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Transport

The Westbury-Hagley Development Committee shouldn't be italicized

fixed. That did look odd now you mention it. - Peripitus (Talk) 12:09, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Historic buildings

  • "Hagley mill" should be "Hagley Mill"
In this case I was following the convention used in the texts talking about it (like the dept of environment) where it appears as more of a proper noun than a description. - Peripitus (Talk) 12:07, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "golf" doesn't need to be wikilinked
fixed - Peripitus (Talk) 12:07, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Categories

  • Consider adding others, like: "Category:Populated places established in 1866"

Let me know what you think of these suggestions. Thanks!--ɱ (talk) 16:42, 18 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've gone through these and adapted all of them (except for the capitalisation of Hagley Mill). I'll have a re-read through tommorrow to see what errors I've now added ! - Peripitus (Talk) 12:48, 23 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, tell me when you've finished making changes and I'll approve the review.--ɱ (talk) 22:35, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Will do tonight....the World Cup has taken priority - Peripitus (Talk) 02:59, 25 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
@Ɱ: - All done I think. Re-read through and corrected some spelling and other grammatical errors - Peripitus (Talk) 11:11, 25 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
@Peripitus: If you think my further two edits to the article are fine, then I'll close the review and make it a GA.--ɱ (talk) 21:52, 25 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
{ping|Ɱ}} - I think they are good. I've read again and can't find any more bits to change - Peripitus (Talk) 11:27, 26 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
@
alt text.--ɱ (talk) 12:12, 26 June 2014 (UTC)[reply
]

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